“Hey, we’ve all been in customer service before. At least most of us,” Aaron said dryly as he looked over at Liam. That’s when I remembered that Liam had been a model when he was a teenager, so there had been no waiting tables for him.
“We’re not going to screw you over,” Kincaid added.
“That’s good,” the kid said, his voice cracking likely because Kincaid said, “screw.”
The guy left, and we all looked at each other and laughed.
“You know, I am used to being the man that any waiter and waitress fawns over,” Liam said dryly, “but you bring ginger here, and I’m chopped liver.”
I looked over at my redheaded man and snorted. “He does have that effect on people.”
“And you’re too pretty for your own good,” Ethan said to his brother, his eyes twinkling. “It’s good that you’re learning a little humility, Liam.”
“You guys are ridiculous,” I said on a laugh, and we all sank into a comfortable conversation about work, kids, and life. Kincaid fit in easily, and it was like he had been with the group for years. Hell, I was still new to this group through Marcus, and yet they made me feel like family. We ate wings and a bunch of goodness that was probably horrible for us, but it didn’t matter. We just had a good time. And when the evening naturally came to an end, everybody heading home to their significant others, Kincaid drove me back, and I tangled my fingers with his on the way, feeling like a million bucks.
“Julia should be calling in a bit,” I said absentmindedly, looking down at the time.
“Good. I haven’t heard her voice in over a day now.”
I smiled. “It’s going to be weird not having her in my bed tonight.”
Kincaid gave me a look, his mouth twitching. “If you need me to warm your bed, darling, I can do that for you.”
I laughed. “I wasn’t very subtle, was I?” I asked.
“No, but that’s why I like you.”
We made our way into the house right as Julia called. I tapped the cell, and her face popped up onto the screen. I smiled, relief filling me.
“Hey there,” I whispered, my voice a purr.
She just grinned. “Hi there, boys. Did you guys have fun tonight?” she asked. “Honestly, I’m surprised you aren’t still out with the Montgomerys.”
“We all called it an early night. We have people to be with.”
“Good,” she whispered, and then she looked over my shoulder. “Did you have fun tonight, Kincaid?”
“The Montgomerys are a hoot. I can see why you guys are friends with them.”
“Just wait till you hang out with the women.”
“That may scare me.”
“What’s on the agenda tonight?” she asked, and I looked over at Kincaid, swallowing hard. “Uh-huh. On that note, you guys have fun,” she said on a laugh. “Kiss each other for me. Have a blast, and don’t think too hard.”
“Stay safe,” Kincaid whispered.
“I love you, babe.”
“I love you, too.” She was looking at me, but I had a feeling she wasn’t speaking only to me. However, since we didn’t know exactly where Kincaid stood, Julia and I were very careful about what we said.
“I’ll see you in two days,” I whispered.
“Two very long days. Have fun tonight. We’ll talk tomorrow about the trip. But I’m tired, and you guys need this time.”
She hung up before I could say anything, and I just shook my head.
“That woman is far too observant for her own good.”
“True, but it’s why I love her.”
One of the many reasons I loved her.
“You’re lucky, Ronin.”
“I’m the luckiest damn man in the universe, and I know it.”
I smiled softly. “Anyway, I want to take a shower. It’s been a long day, and I feel gross. Do you want to join me?”
“I think I can help you wash your back,” Kincaid whispered, and I swallowed hard, my cock filling.
We made our way to the bathroom, and I did my best to act as if I weren’t freaking the fuck out. But I was. This was my first time alone with Kincaid. Oh, we’d been together numerous times, each of us taking different positions and different ways to love one another. But this was the first time Julia wasn’t between us, or near us.
It was a moment.
And I knew that it would mean something. I just hoped to hell we didn’t fuck it up.
We didn’t need to say much else, both of our breaths coming faster, heavier as we stood in the large bathroom area. There was a tub off to the side where I would sit with Julia to play, or where she could soak. But the shower was wide enough and ADA compliant, with a large bench where I could sit down and not have to worry about falling.
Kincaid lowered his head and kissed me softly before pulling away, leaving me wanting. He turned on the hot water, and then we slowly stripped each other, careful with one another. He helped me into the shower, the showerhead angled away from the seat so he could help me with my prosthesis. I gently pulled it off, and he put it out of the spray, my trust in him great.
He looked at me, storm clouds crossing his gaze and shook his head.
“What?” I asked, not feeling self-conscious in the least.
“I hate that you were hurt. I’m always going to hate that.”
I nodded. “You have just as many scars as I do,” I whispered. “I get to be just as angry.”
“Then let’s make sure we don’t focus on it tonight.”
“That, I can do,” I whispered, and then he leaned down and kissed me again. I moaned, the water now moving over us as he adjusted the head before he came back to me. Water sluiced over us, and I moaned again, needing more.
He simply kissed me before going down to his knees and kissing my chest, my stomach before gripping me.
His palms were callused, his fingers firm as he encircled me, pumping. He met my gaze, and then he lowered his mouth to me. I groaned, the heat of him enveloping my dick.
He swallowed me, humming along the length of my cock as he licked and pleasured me. He cupped my balls, rolling them in his palm before he hollowed his cheeks, doing something with his tongue that made me lose focus. And then I was coming, my hand tugging on his hair as I tried to pull him away, but he didn’t seem to care. Instead, he hummed against the tip of my dick as he swallowed every last drop. And then he stood up, wiped his mouth, and went for a loofah. He added soap and slowly washed me, not saying a word. But his gaze never left mine as he gently took care of me. And then he handed me the loofah and more soap, and I did the same to him, paying extra special attention to his cock. I tugged, squeezed, worked him to near completion before he pulled away to remove the shower head attachment, rinsing us both off. He turned off the water, got a fluffy towel, and dried us both.
Before I could reach for my crutch or anything I needed, he somehow picked me up, and I wrapped my leg around him, holding him tight.
“You’re going to fucking drop me,” I whispered. My dick was already hard again, pressed against his stomach, his cock pulsing against mine.
“I’ve got you, Ronin. I promise.”
I kissed him again, and he slowly made his way to the bedroom. He positioned me on the bed before he knelt before me, focused on my cock again. I reached for him, needing him, but he shook his head before he reached into the dresser drawer for some lube and a condom. He sheathed himself and then went to work on me, his fingers probing then stretching me in the best way possible. I moaned, running my hands up and down his body as he worked me, preparing me for him. And when he entered me, my leg up near my shoulder, him slowly working his way in and out of me, I groaned.
“Hold yourself, squeeze yourself, make yourself come.”
I did as he instructed, squeezing hard, moving fast as he fucked me, both of us panting and needing. He moved hard, no care, far rougher than he ever was with Julia, and I couldn’t help but moan, needing this man in front of me.
And when he pumped hard, slam
ming into me one last time until he groaned, coming, I spurted all over my chest, coming in pants right along with him.
I looked up at him, swallowed hard, and licked my lips.
“Jesus Christ,” I whispered.
“I’m not done with you yet,” Ronin replied and kept moving before he leaned down and kissed me, playing with me.
Later, we held each other, both cleaned up once more, and I just leaned into the man I had once loved, the man I was pretty sure I loved again.
I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure I could. But as Kincaid’s breaths evened out and he fell into slumber, I wondered what would happen if I told him I loved him. If Julia and I said we wanted more.
I was afraid that, somehow, I wasn’t going to be enough. Somehow, we wouldn’t be enough. That Kincaid would walk away again just like he had before. I didn’t want to think about that, but I couldn’t help it.
And so, I didn’t sleep. I held him close, wishing this could last forever, and knowing it might not ever happen.
Chapter 12
Kincaid
“I’m way too full,” Julia said, leaning back in her seat. I grinned, shaking my head. We were at a nice restaurant, one that served various Mediterranean dishes, and I had eaten probably twice as much as Julia, and I was just as stuffed. But Julia pressing out her little belly, acting as if she could roll away just made me laugh. Ronin snorted and took a sip of his club soda before reaching out with his fork to take the last piece of beef off her plate.
“Yummy,” he mumbled.
“I was saving that.” Julia groaned and closed her eyes. “Okay, I lied. I can’t eat any more.”
I laughed, pushing my plate away. “I’m full, too. I was going to get dessert, but I think that’s better left for home.”
Ronin met my gaze, his eyes going dark. I laughed.
“I meant actual dessert. But that, too.”
Julia laughed, rubbed her stomach, and then leaned forward, elbows on the table. “This is nice. I’m glad the three of us are out on a date that has nothing to do with me cooking.”
“You know I can always do the cooking,” I said.
“Yes, if I want grilled cheese, then I will totally come to you,” Julia said dryly.
“Ouch,” I said with a laugh. “Just hit me, why don’t you.”
“I would, but I’m too full to move.”
“And we all know that I’m only good on the grill.” Ronin shook his head. “But Julia’s right. I’m glad the three of us are out. It’s a good date,” he added. “Come on, let’s head home.” Ronin met both Julia’s gaze and mine.
It wasn’t lost on me that he’d said “home,” a house I didn’t live in.
I just smiled and tried not to let my thoughts show. Because I didn’t know what I was thinking to begin with. This wasn’t what I had come for. I had wanted to see Ronin, to apologize. And, honestly, just to see him. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought he’d take me back. Let alone with his wife.
And if I let myself truly believe in anything, I knew I felt something more than just attraction for Ronin and the woman he loved.
The woman that I could love.
I wouldn’t let myself think too hard on that, though. Because if I did, I’d make a mistake.
I’d made too many mistakes already, and I refused to make more. I did not want to hurt Ronin again, and I wouldn’t hurt Julia.
She was a bright light, Ronin’s center, and was quickly becoming mine.
It was hard to think about a future when I had spent so many years wallowing in the past. I was better, at least I told myself that I was. But it wasn’t easy to remember who I needed to be. And most of the time, I didn’t feel like I was that man at all.
We made our way out of the restaurant, and I got into the driver’s seat, Ronin helping Julia into the back seat. They kissed softly before she slid in and put her hands on my shoulders as I started the car.
“You know I’m always happy to drive,” she whispered, kissing my cheek.
I looked over at her and raised a brow that I wasn’t sure she could see. “My car, I drive.”
She let out a puff of air. “Men.”
“Sorry, you’ve got two of us now. You’re going to have to deal with it.”
Julia grinned behind me, at least from what I could see in the rearview mirror, and I let the comment slide over me. Did she have two men? We had slipped into these roles as they were meant for us, and yet I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten here. I needed to roll with the punches and not overthink things, but that wasn’t who I was. And from the way Ronin was staring at me, I knew that wasn’t who he was either.
I drove us back to their place—not home, I reminded myself—and pulled into the driveway as we talked about going over to Ethan, Holland, and Lincoln’s house for dinner the next week.
“Do you think you can make it?” Julia asked.
“I don’t know. What’s the date again?”
She rattled off the date as we began the walk inside, and I froze, nearly tripping over my feet.
“Fuck,” I mumbled.
They looked at me.
“What?” Ronin asked, his voice careful.
“What time is it?” I asked, looking down at the clock. “Okay, it’s still early enough on the West Coast.” I looked up at them and shook my head. “Today’s my mom’s birthday. I completely forgot.” I had been so far in my own head, I had forgotten my own mother’s birthday. I wasn’t sure she wanted to hear from me, she never really did, but I had to try.
Julia frowned. “Oh, no. Okay, I’m going to add it to my calendar so we know for the future.”
I ignored the little pang I felt, wondering where that had come from, and shook my head. “I’m going to call her. You mind if I stand out here on the porch?”
“No, you should come in. We’ll give you privacy. Come on in,” Julia repeated, tugging me inside.
I let her move me, aware that Ronin was studying my face, worry etched there. But I had to ignore it.
I pulled up my mother’s contact information and hit call, hoping to hell she answered. It was actually my dad who answered, my mom not bothering to pick up. Not that I knew that for sure, but she’d done it in the past, and I wouldn’t blame her for keeping to type.
“You didn’t need to call,” my dad said, his voice gruff.
I swallowed hard, aware that Ronin and Julia were leaving me alone so I could do this in private. They knew I had problems with my family, that my parents blamed me for my sister’s death. But hell, I blamed myself just as much as they did. Still, my parents were venomous about it.
And there was nothing I could do, except keep trying. And yet, hadn’t I been the one to help Julia stop trying with her parents? I didn’t like those parallels, so I pushed them from my mind. They weren’t exactly the same. And not enough time had passed.
“I just wanted to wish Mom a happy birthday.”
“You almost missed it, so it’s clearly not a big deal.”
“Either I missed it, and you care. Or I missed it, and you were glad that I didn’t call,” I blurted out, and then could’ve rightly kicked myself.
“Don’t take that tone with me. Your mother doesn’t want to talk to you. And you know why. She should be here,” my father said, and I knew he wasn’t talking about my mom.
“I know,” I whispered, my voice low.
“Stop calling. She doesn’t want to talk to you. And frankly, neither do I.” He hung up then, leaving me staring at the phone, wondering why I even tried.
My throat burned, and I knew I didn’t want a drink, but I needed to talk to somebody. I looked up at Ronin and clenched my teeth. “I thought you were going to give me space.”
“I tried, but your voice carries.”
“I’m sorry,” Julia whispered from behind him.
I let out a snort. “It’s not important. But I’ve got to go.”
“Kincaid, we can talk about this.”
I shook my head. “No, I made a mi
stake. I’m not ready for this.”
Julia looked as if I had slapped her, but Ronin just raised his chin. “You mean this conversation? Or this relationship?”
I let out a laugh that held no humor. “Everything. I wasn’t ready. And if I stay, I’ll just hurt you guys. I’ll ruin you like I ruin everything else. I need to go to a meeting. Do you understand that? I’m an alcoholic. And I don’t need a drink, but I do need to talk to someone.”
“Okay,” Julia put in, raising her hand and extending it as if to touch me. “You can do that. We’ll drive you.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” Ronin bit out. “You can talk to us, too, you know?”
“I can’t. Just let me go.”
Julia moved forward. “Call us when you get out of your meeting.”
I looked at her and shook my head. “I shouldn’t. I can’t. This was nice, but if I stay, I’ll only break things more. And I don’t want you two to end up getting hurt because I can’t handle shit. Thank you for everything, but I need to go.”
“Kincaid,” she whispered.
“No,” Ronin put in, his voice brittle. “Let him go. He needs to go to a meeting. And he can.”
“But, Ronin…” she began.
“No, just let him go. I get that he needs to get some help and I’d never, ever keep him from that, but he’s running, too. Holding Kincaid back is futile. Isn’t it?” Ronin asked, that same pain I had seen years ago etched onto his features now.
I only nodded before I turned and walked away, knowing I was probably making the worst mistake of my life, but doing the only thing I could—saving the people I knew I loved, and facing the mortality I tried not to look directly in the face.
Chapter 13
Julia
“Did you sleep?” I asked, my voice hollow.
“No. I don’t think either of us did.”
I looked over at my husband, my heart breaking. “He left,” I whispered. Everything felt so empty and covered in shades of gray. “I didn’t think he’d actually leave.”
“He didn’t want to lean on us, didn’t want to show that. While I get it, he still left.”
Captured in Ink: A Montgomery Ink: Boulder Novella Page 11