‘Steady breaths, now. In for five seconds...out for five. Come on, look at me. Look into my eyes and breathe with me. One...two...three...’
She latched on to his steely blue eyes. Once upon a time she would have thought that staring into his eyes was the wrong thing to do, but it was totally right now, as she tried to follow his instructions, and slowly, after a few minutes, her breathing became easier.
Her body began to tremble with all the adrenaline that had surged into it. She felt relieved, and also a little embarrassed that she had freaked out so suddenly, but being with him was raking up all these feelings, and she still had no clear answers. She felt as if someone was going to come along at any moment and say, A baby? You can’t have a baby! You have no idea of what you’re doing!
What if she couldn’t do it?
She and Kristjan were going through all this and yet when it came along the baby might be too much for her. She might be like her birth mother and...
‘Look at me, Merry. Breathe...’
She removed the oxygen mask. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak out.’
‘It’s okay.’
‘You must think I’m being silly.’
‘I don’t.’
‘What if I can’t do this? Be a mum?’ she whispered.
Kristjan smiled at her, nothing but kindness and empathy in his eyes.
He sat on the bed, stroked the side of her face and whispered back, ‘Oh, Merry! But what if you can?’
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I WANT TO show you something. Are you up to going out?’
‘Sure. Where are we going?’
Kristjan smiled at Merry, wanting it to be a surprise. ‘Somewhere special.’
He helped her on with her coat, wrapped her scarf around her neck and pulled her woolly hat down over her head.
She smiled at him the entire time and he was glad that she was okay now, after her panic attack that afternoon.
He understood her freaking out. Sometimes he wished he could do the same thing, but she needed someone strong beside her whilst she worked through this. They both did. Luckily, they had each other. Although he didn’t think Merry understood just how much he needed her, too. It was a realisation that totally freaked him out.
But he was managing. Minute by minute. Hour by hour.
After today he’d figured she needed to see something amazing. And tonight was meant to be a good night, by all accounts.
‘Can you trust me?’ he asked.
‘It depends.’
‘I want you to wear this blindfold.’ He held up another scarf.
She laughed. ‘This isn’t Fifty Shades, Kristjan.’
He smiled. ‘I know. This is nothing like that, but I want where we’re going to be a surprise. I promise you’ll be safe and if at any time you feel you need to take it off, then I won’t stop you.’
She considered it for a moment. ‘All right.’
So he tied the scarf around her eyes and guided her out of the house and onto the snow sled. ‘Hold on tight—we’re off for a short ride to the other side of Wonderland.’
‘What’s there?’
‘Everything.’ He knew she’d like it once she saw it. He knew she needed to see it, too.
Starting the engine, he drove them to the special place just beyond Wonderland. Here was the real countryside of Iceland, and there was one spot that lots of people went to, to see something really special as there was no other light pollution to get in the way.
Parked, he slowly helped her off the snow sled and gently guided her to where she needed to stand. He looked up at the sky above them, knowing that this would be perfect, and then he slowly removed the scarf from her eyes, watching her face attentively as he did so. He wanted to see her reaction. Wanted her to see the beauty. Wanted her to see what he saw.
‘The Aurora Borealis!’ she gasped.
Above them, green and blue waves arced across the sky as if blown by a solar wind, slowly dancing to an unknown tune, glimmering and flickering from dark green to light, as if mixed by invisible fingers. There was a hint of yellow at the outermost edges, swirling like mist.
‘It’s like magic!’
He watched her face, her smile, her awe. The gleam in her eyes at seeing such a natural wonder.
‘Beautiful, indeed.’
He looked up, watching the lights as they rolled and flowed above them. They were caused by disturbances in the magnetosphere—charged particles emitting light and ionisation. He knew the science, he knew the facts, but it was still a wondrous display...almost mystical.
‘This is amazing, Kristjan! Thank you!’
‘You needed to see it. To see the wonder of the world. How beautiful it is. In our job we get to see a lot of pain. A lot of upset. It can be scary, and I don’t want you to be scared ever again.’
She turned to him. Looked up into his eyes. He could see the lights reflected in her pupils. She looked as if she had magic swirling inside her, and in a way she did. She was growing their baby.
He couldn’t help himself. He took a step towards her, cupped her face in his hands and brought her lips to his. They were soft. Warm. And she sank into him, against him, her tongue entwining with his as he deepened the kiss.
He didn’t need the light show above. There were fireworks going off inside him. He’d dreamt of this. Wanted this ever since she’d walked through the doors of the hospital, freezing cold and dripping wet, dragging that suitcase. It had been a sweet torture to see her each day. An ache in his soul, an agony that he had to keep his distance—and, boy, had he tried! He had tried so hard. And now, in the night-time air, with wind so cold and biting it felt as if it was slicing at his skin, he was blissfully ignorant as his body temperature soared at her touch.
He hadn’t kissed her like this since Hawaii. From that tropical beach to this heart of winter she made the rest of the world fall away, and all he could think of—all he knew as his lips joined with hers—was ecstasy.
‘Merry...’
He traced his lips along the length of her jaw, down her neck, but that damned scarf was in the way! He wanted to rip it off her, just as much as he wanted to rip away all their clothes, but they were out in the freezing cold and that wouldn’t do. He knew he needed to have her—he couldn’t wait any longer.
Her pupils had grown large and dark, her lips were swollen from his kisses, and she looked at him in a daze.
‘Take my hand.’
He guided her back to the snow sled, waited for her to get on it and wrap her arms around his waist, and then they were off—heading for home...where there was warmth and beds and a hot shower.
He reminded himself to be careful. Not to rush. He carried precious cargo with him and, although he was adept with a motorised sled, he’d seen plenty of ferocious injuries to kids who had come off them, or overturned them, or simply gone too fast and not read the lie of the land beneath the snow. There was a certain skill to it. A sixth sense, almost. You had to work with the snow, not against it.
The lights of the Borealis were left behind them as the lights and noise of Wonderland grew ever closer. He saw the happy families, heard the music. Normally he would have enjoyed it—slowed down and taken in the sight—but not tonight.
He felt her arms tighten around him and he pressed one gloved hand against hers, clutching it to his chest. He drove like that for quite a way, until he had to let go to steer them home. As they got closer and closer it was as if he could hear his heart thundering in his head. He felt hot. Ready to strip himself of his clothes and bury himself in her. To devour her. To be consumed by her.
He parked, helped her off and, still holding her hand, led her inside. Once the door was closed he helped unwind her scarf and unzip her coat. Then he pulled off her woolly hat and he gazed at her with a smile. ‘Are you sure?’
She nodded.
/>
It was all the permission he needed.
* * *
She hadn’t known what to expect when he’d blindfolded her. It had been a difficult day, what with her panic attack, but when he’d removed the scarf and she’d seen the Northern Lights... It had been as if a miracle had occurred in the sky. As if she was watching real magic. And, even though logically she knew there was a scientific reason for what had been happening, and that it could easily be explained, she’d preferred just to stand there and soak it in, wondering at the wonderful display it was, believing it would be the pinnacle of her evening.
She had been wrong.
Kristjan had kissed her. And it had been as if he had switched on fairy lights in her body. Because now she was burning hot and bright all over and she wanted him more than ever. The short ride back to the house had been wonderful—leaning into him, her arms wrapped around him—and he had taken her hand, and she had thought she could feel the thudding of his heart inside his chest.
And now they were inside, and he was kissing her again, and—oh, my God—it was everything. She felt dizzy and senseless and all of a quiver, with a sharp need that she knew could only be sated by him.
She needed his mouth upon her body. She needed him to touch her as she had never been touched before. And she reached down to lift up her jumper and toss it to one side.
Why am I wearing so many layers?
After the jumper there was a shirt, and beneath that a thermal top. There were jeans and her thick socks, and then there were all his clothes. They tried to shed them as fast as they could, but jeans got caught on ankles and needed a tug, which made them both laugh, and then he couldn’t get his shirt off without undoing the cuffs. And although Merry had never imagined herself as a woman who might actually want to physically rip the clothes off another person, she found herself wanting to do that so badly!
And then finally—finally!—they were down to their underwear, and suddenly everything slowed right down...which was perfect.
He traced the strap of her bra from her shoulder down to her breast, his thumb brushing over her peaked nipple through the lace before he stooped to kiss and suck it through the thin material.
Oh, my God!
She arched back, thrusting her breasts further towards him, the agony and the ecstasy of it all making her act on animal instinct. She felt his thumbs hook into the sides of her knickers and he slowly slid them down her legs, his lips tracing a trail of soft, featherlight kisses over her belly and her abdomen and her sex, where his tongue lingered, licking and teasing as she quivered above him.
Why had she denied herself this? Why had she fought this for so long?
It had been impossible to forget how good it had been between them in Hawaii, and it had given her some delicious dreams in the weeks afterwards. Before she knew about the baby she had often thought about how it might be if they were ever to run into each other again.
Yet they had both tried to not do this. Tried not to sleep with one another again. Because they hadn’t wanted to complicate matters. But here they were. He was lowering her down onto the rug in front of the fire that had been slowly kindling whilst they were out and she could feel its gentle warmth down one side of her body as Kristjan created a trail of pleasuring kisses.
His muscles gleamed and rippled in the firelight, his arms flexing with power as he held himself easily above her. The whiskers from his beard tickled her inner thighs and she felt him caress her lower abdomen, stroking tenderly with his fingertips where the baby was before he came up to kiss her again.
She could taste herself in his kiss and she responded fully, wanting more of him, wrapping her legs around his back and pulling him closer. ‘I need you, Kristjan. Now.’
He gazed into her eyes for a moment. ‘I don’t have any protection on me.’
She smiled. ‘You can’t get me pregnant. I already am.’
‘But what about—?’
‘I’m clean. I haven’t slept with anyone but you.’
She could see that he was deciding what to tell her. Whether to admit to the truth, or not. The truth won out. ‘Nor me—not since Hawaii.’
She smiled. ‘Really? There’s been no one since me?’
He smiled back. ‘No. But it would be irresponsible to assume...’
‘Please, Kristjan... I need you now.’
When he entered her she felt the full length of him filling her up and she groaned, arching upwards, clutching him to her, pulling his lips down onto her own, needing to consume him as he consumed her.
His movements were slow and languid at first, so that she felt pleasure in every single millisecond, every delicious inch, before his movements got quicker and quicker and he clutched at her bottom, pulling her against him as he powered into her again and again.
Merry allowed herself to sink into it, her arms outstretched above her head, breathing hard and heavy with every thrust.
This was what sex was meant to be like.
Feeling the way she did right now, she knew that what she’d had before had been nothing. Mark had been a bad amateur, not really knowing how to pleasure a woman and only considerate of how he felt.
Kristjan took her to the brink, and each time she thought she might come he slowed it down and withdrew, kissing her, nibbling, licking, leaving her gasping with delight and desire, before plunging in again so that when she finally came, in a explosion of ecstasy, he came himself.
They lay spent together afterwards, wrapped in each other’s arms on the rug in front of the gently crackling fire. Merry put her head on the rise and fall of his chest, her fingers tickling the chest hair there.
Everything ached in such a wonderful way. Her every nerve-ending was alive and shining bright like stars in a night sky. She fitted against him as if she had been made specifically just for him. She felt so happy. So content.
There was no need for talk. Their bodies had said everything they needed to say. And they fell asleep in front of the fire, wrapped together, legs entwined.
When she woke in the early hours of the morning, she found that Kristjan had got up already, but he had laid a lovely blanket of red and white over her and gently stoked the fire, laying it with fresh logs to keep her warm.
There was a note beside her.
Gone for a swim. Back soon. K
She smiled, pulling herself up into a seated position, clutching the blanket to her naked chest. She was hungry, and thirsty, and as if he had known what she would need there was a tray laid on the small coffee table. A pot of coffee. A pot of hot chocolate. Some pastries and a bowl of fresh fruit.
Thought you might need this. K
The note was stuck to one of the Christmas pudding mugs that she was now so familiar with seeing about the place.
She would eat and then grab a shower, she thought. Looking at the clock, she saw they had three hours before they both needed to be at work.
They had taken a huge step forward last night, and Kristjan had shown her that he wanted to be with her. That was massive. For both of them. It must have been so obvious that there was something simmering away between them. It had been palpable—even the people at work had noticed, she felt sure.
It was the beginning of something. A way forward. One step taken. All the pair of them could do was take it one day at a time.
* * *
Kristjan powered through the water in a front crawl, barely stopping, his arms slicing through the heated water of the geothermal pool as if they were blades. His chest was protesting and he was gasping for air, but it was as if he was punishing himself, seeing how far he could go, and for how long, without taking a breath, knowing he wouldn’t stop until his body forced him to.
He had slept with Merry. And when he’d woken this morning he hadn’t known how he felt about that.
The sex had been great. It had been before and he had no doubt th
at it always would be. But...
Relationships were never just about sex.
Relationships were...expectations.
When you were with someone, when you were committed, that other person expected certain things. By sleeping with Merry had he given her the impression that they were something bigger? Because last night, for him, it had been all about sating the lust that he’d felt since he’d laid eyes on her again and had started getting to know her a bit more. Since he’d had her in his house, in his guest bedroom, under his roof, knowing that she was carrying his baby...
His lungs burned and he stopped, gasping for air, steam rising from the warmth of his skin in the cold morning air. All around him snow lay on the surface at the poolside, on the benches where people could sit, on the rails where they draped their towels. It was freezing, and yet he felt none of it. His thoughts were enmeshed with what had happened and what it might mean.
Merry wouldn’t expect anything of him, would she? She’d told him before that she would never make the same mistake again and get into a relationship simply because of lust—and wasn’t lust the emotion that had driven them both last night?
He was in the clear, right? They’d both simply scratched an insatiable itch and now everything would be fine. They’d be clear-headed. Able to think straight.
But all his mind could focus on was a replay of last night. The way her skin had looked in the firelight. The smooth curves of her flesh. The softness. The roundness of her lower abdomen where their baby grew. The taste of her...
He felt his body stir in response and, feeling aggravated that it was doing that, he pulled himself from the water and lay down on the poolside, rolling himself in the snow. He’d hoped the shock of the cold would sort him out and cleave those thoughts from his brain as his body went into survival mode. Only it never happened.
He simply remembered her gasps. Her breathing. How she’d arched against him and how it had felt to hear her scream his name... Even now, his body reacted! He’d hoped that by being with her at last he would finally get some control back over his feelings, but it was as if she had fed them and they had grown and they wanted to be fed again.
The Icelandic Doc's Baby Surprise Page 12