“I appreciate your concern Bob but…”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bob interrupted, cutting him off in mid-ships, “shooting my mouth off again so I’ll just put a sock in it. Now about this wedding day after tomorrow, what the dickens am I going to wear?”
Alex was relieved that there was a change of pace and harmony was restored.
“Let’s clear the crocks away, go out and do a bit of shopping. I’m in trouble in that department myself. I think we both need a makeover.”
“Oh and by the way Alex, Sid and Elsie are going to the wedding.”
Bob made a quick exit up the stairs before Alex could ask the other obvious question and that subject was closed as far as he was concerned.
That evening they returned more than happy with their new wardrobe acquisitions, which, while formal, were very adaptable suits of fine quality and could be worn at other festive gatherings. Both considered themselves in good shape for the celebrations.
Alex hurried to the church the next morning for the dress rehearsal with Dan and Rosalind, after which Dan took him to one side and told him that Amy would also be attending the ceremony.
“I knew it would be difficult for you Alex but we’ve all been friends for so long that she had to be included, particularly as she is working with Sid and Elsie at the moment and they are attending as well. It would have been shabby not to have issued the invitation.”
“Everything’s cool friend, I absolutely agree and I actually expected she’d be there.”
Alex spoke speciously, keeping his voice even, hoping he sounded calm and collected about the whole situation.
That afternoon he took a walk through the old haunts to try and get his mind off the thought of seeing Amy again. How would he handle it? He wondered. Well, handle it, he would. There would be no dramatics; he would be polite and approachable.
Wandering through Primrose Hill, he could see that it was now an upper class area, obviously very expensive. The Victorian properties, now back in favour, were in great demand and beautifully restored to their original grandeur with elaborate cornicing and extensively embellished exteriors, becoming a major influence on prices in the area.
****
The day of the wedding dawned and a major panic ensued for Alex and Bob who were late getting out of their beds as usual. The wedding couple were perfect for each other it seemed, both radiant with happiness, positively glowing as they went through their vows which they had authored themselves for this their special day.
At first he didn’t spot her, then in unison, their eyes met. Alex thought his heart would stop. He wondered if the palpitations in his neck were visible. The erratic throbbing had always been a problem plaguing him every time he was in a stressful situation. He reckoned it was a throwback to his childhood. Locked and bound together in their ephemeral world, both were oblivious to the soft droning of the ceremony in the background, then bodies were pushing him forward to complete his duties as best man.
The moment passed as all moments do. He was shaken. His feelings for her had not diminished over the years, if anything were stronger. The pain in his chest was unimaginable as he went through the motions, completing requirements for the ceremony.
She was nowhere to be seen in the reception room later. In desolation, he moved into the garden area to clear his mind and there she was before him, abounding with a beauty that was hers alone. Unaware of his presence being lost in her own world, his step on the gravel caught her off guard. Their attempt at conversation was unsuccessful being stilted and polite, although she did seem interested in his work and such but very obviously steered clear of any personal connotations.
Forfeiting his well-laid resolutions, Alex jumped head in.
“Amy, what are we doing? Is there any chance for us? I love you; I always have and always will.”
“Alex, there is no us, not anymore.”
The touch of asperity in her voice was unfamiliar to him, her finality sending chills through his body.
“We both have our own lives now and you are no longer a part of mine. That’s the way it has to be. We had our chance and lost it when we threw it to the wind so carelessly without a thought for the future or the consequences of our actions.”
“Amy please…” but she was walking away from him.
“Alex don’t, please don’t.”
Then she was gone, past the group of guests, out of the main exit and out of his life yet again.
****
Alex, hardly aware of Bob’s voice, grabbed the drink that was pushed in his trembling hand and knocked it back with a vengeance. He continued to drink throughout the rest of the reception until Bob urged him forward towards the exit, stopping briefly to extend their salutations and wish Dan and Rosalind a wonderful honeymoon in the West Country. Upon arrival at Bob’s, they both slurped their way through the rest of the night, Bob knowing that under the riotous frivolity, he had a friend whose heart was fragmenting into a thousand pieces.
The next morning brought Alex a hangover from hell while his friend fed him the foulest tasting concoctions he’d ever experienced and with each gulp prayed he never would again. The one saving grace was that Bob managed to keep his witticisms to himself.
****
Back on the west coast he threw himself into his work and as if that wasn’t enough for him, he volunteered for the lifeboat rescue services. He would be working in coordination with rescue operations in Padstow and St. Agnes to the east and Sennen Cove to the west. His life was now fully booked, leaving absolutely no time for dwelling on past matters and that was just the way he wanted it.
****
Jovial as always, Jack came to pick up his friend. They were going out on Jack’s fishing boat and had not been out long when the weather took a turn for the worst, a sudden squall coming up, a situation familiar to the area. Seeing the massive wall of water rolling ferociously towards them, they knew all too well they were done for. Capsized in seconds, they found themselves clinging to whatever boat contents were floating. They hung for what seemed hours; singing songs, cracking jokes, anything to stay in touch with each other and keep their thoughts away from how bitterly cold they were. Alex could see his friend was failing fast.
“Hang on Jack; for God’s sake hang on, just a bit longer. They’ll be coming for us soon.”
He closed his eyes and when he opened them Jack was gone, then he saw the lights.
“Too late, too bloody late,” he screamed wondering if he should just let go of the debris he clung to and stop fighting. Darkness was closing in. Waves engulfing him, freezing cold, he was slipping, slipping, then there were lights, more lights, suddenly warmth spreading throughout his body, then slipping again but now into a warm world; voices, was that the sound of angels? Jack are you there?
The nurse was leaning over him shaking him gently.
“Take a deep breath, just breath.”
He was in hospital. They told him he had been there for some days. Realisation hit him, how was he going to look Judy in the face? He was alive and her husband lost to her. Surely she would ask why he was saved and not her Jack, a question he was asking himself.
****
As soon as he was out of hospital, he made the visit he had been dreading. Looking into their faces, the children with a glimmer of hope but acceptance written on Judy’s, he averted his gaze.
“Alex, it’s okay, don’t fret yourself.”
She didn’t cry, like all the other wives whose daily torment had come to fruition. They were brave stalwart women who shed their tears in private, knowing they were never to see their men again.
Jack’s body was recovered a couple of days later. After the accepted period, his ashes cast from the Roseland Peninsula as was his wish. He had been born very close to the beautiful church, St. Just in Roseland where his roots were. Alex had listened many times when his friend had told him about the thirteenth century church and vowed he would visit in the next few days and honour Jack’s memory.
&nbs
p; It was all Jack had said it would be. The walk through the little church yard had been a cathartic experience, ridding his mind of torment, gently guiding him into another world of supreme serenity. The little stone church was surrounded by varying aspects of openness to the water and multiple paths bordered by rocks leading to the quietude and shelter of magnificent trees and shrubs. Pausing to look at the ancient headstones in the little cemetery, a soft breeze caressing his face, Alex was thinking of the evanescence of life, so precious, so brief, in direct contrast to death’s permanence with its promise of a life hereafter.
****
He made out the bank draft to Mrs. Sarah Rowlings, in Trust for Fionna Rowlings. Alex was making his final official contribution for his daughter`s needs and education; a contribution which he had made for the last twenty odd years regardless of where he was situated. He sat back in his chair, his coffee now cold on the desk. Rain beat steadily on the window pane as he looked out over a choppy sea. His daughter had qualified as a registered nurse and had plans for further education in order to specialise in one of the many medical areas which were of interest to her. He felt proud, and humble that he had been allowed to participate to some degree in her success. The daughter he had never known had obviously turned out well and was entering an honourable profession.
Amy was never far from his thoughts and when he closed his eyes in sleep, she invaded his dreams with her pure sweetness. He wondered if she ever thought of him, he doubted it. She had left him under no delusions the last time they had met. She had said he was no longer a part of her world; well she was his world and even though he was leaving their homeland for another country, he was resigned to the fact that she would be part of him in his new world and into infinity.
****
The following few days were to be spent in London and then Alex was catching a flight to Canada; a country which had always intrigued him, to begin yet another chapter in his life. May as well do it while he was still young enough, he thought and with enough gumption to take the plunge. He had accepted a position as Mate on a tug boat and once again would be involved in hauling and rescue operations but also salvage and ice breaking, new ventures again. He would be taking up this option in one week. The company ran tugs out of Halifax, Nova Scotia and with yet another dangerous coast to conquer, Alex was looking forward to the challenge of new pastures, although he still yearned for the unreachable.
Chapter 12
Canada
Alex stopped at Bob’s front door, fist bunched ready to cause his usual disturbance but the door was flung open beating him to the punch.
Bob appeared grinning broadly and practically pulled him across the threshold.
“Ha, got you that time, you’re pipped at the post.”
Bob had arranged a special evening for Alex and invited all their closest friends. The lounge was shrouded in darkness when Alex finally arrived. Hearing a muffled giggle in the back regions of the room, he snapped on the light and walked right into the surprise bash. Everyone descended upon him in one herd and shrieks of laughter reverberated off the walls.
“Late as usual,” Dan bellowed.
“What have you been doing?”
“I had a last look at the old hangouts and said goodbye to a couple of people. Not much really although must say I felt a bit nostalgic.”
“Well, you’ll be back again, you mark my words. You’ve got the old country in your bones, it’s imbedded in you. We’ll all be seeing you again pretty soon, I reckon. It’s one thing to go down to the West Country, it’s quite another to leave your homeland, your roots.”
Harry’s voice was tremulous. He had grown to love Alex just as Bob did. Whenever the pair of them looked at him, each had a vision of a freckle-faced youth staring back at them. A determined youth both had come to realise, with an unbreakable tenacity to succeed. He was very much respected and held in high regard by all those who were close to him and recognised his strength and forthrightness. Those people, hand-picked by Bob, were all present on that special evening.
As always, it was a grand party. Bob, a true raconteur, held the floor. A number of the attendees got up and either roasted Alex or enlightened their audience on his good points or failings but Bob was right in there, putting up a good show having all the party goers in stitches as he ribbed Alex unceasingly, although privately he was devastated at losing his protégé and having a hard time accepting Alex’s decision to leave his friends and loved ones.
Everybody else also felt at a loss because Alex was leaving the country for an indeterminate time but they all made merry, making the best of the situation and of course extended their best wishes. There were a few tears shed; however, when at the close of the festivities, each stepped forward to wish him a fond farewell with hopes to see him back again soon. All, without exception, were wondering when he was going to stop trying to outrun his past.
****
The flight to Canada was long and hard. All passengers were obliged to wear their seatbelts most of the way, an annoyance but necessary because of the foul weather and turbulent conditions. There was a short stopover in Moncton, New Brunswick and then on to Halifax, Nova Scotia. A little excitement for everybody ensued when, upon descent, a small plane flew into the flight path, forcing the pilot to circle the airport to attempt another approach.
Upon alighting from the plane, freezing cold ripped Alex’s breath right out of his body sending him into uncontrollable spasms of coughing.
“Why in God’s name did I pick this time of year?”
He was muttering and didn’t care if he was overheard by the other passengers filing along beside him.
“Talk about masochistic, must have been out of my mind.”
He had been so eager to make a complete break that he hadn’t taken the weather situation into consideration and had made his preparations as soon as his governmental entry papers to Canada had arrived.
Alex had taken a hotel room adjacent to the airport for convenience until he got his bearings. The accommodation was sparsely furnished but adequate for his needs. Being too exhausted to eat, he took a really hot shower, which helped, as he thought his bones had crystalised with the cold and that he would never warm up again. Crawling gratefully into bed, he fell into an unconscious stupor in seconds.
The next morning, he selected his warmest clothes and was greeted enthusiastically as he positioned himself comfortably in the little dining room.
“How you doing then, eh?”
Since stepping off the plane in the Maritimes, he had noticed everybody was very friendly and outgoing, most of them finishing their sentences with ‘eh’. The cook-cum-waiter was no exception.
His breakfast was plain but wholesome and plenty of it, cereal and toast with actual marmalade which delighted him as marmalade was not, it seemed, readily available in many eateries and a pot of good strong tea was also included.
Reclining back in his chair later letting his food settle, he was hailed once again from the back regions.
“So how was it then, eh?”
He smiled in spite of himself.
“It was terrific, thanks very much. Any chance of getting a taxi to the docks in about half an hour, I have to meet somebody?”
Alex wanted to leave himself plenty of time; he was meeting the tug company owner and wanted to make sure there were no hitches.
That settled, he made his way back to his room, brushed his teeth, packed the rest of his bag and moved briskly downstairs to settle up his bill.
“Was it a good stay, then, eh?”
This time from the desk clerk.
Well, it looks like they’re all at it, Alex thought.
The taxi dropped him in front of the company offices and John Maclaren, Alex’s new boss, held out his hand in greeting.
“Welcome to Canada and Halifax. How was your flight? I was wondering how you’d be coping with the weather, we’ve been getting it pretty bad this last week.”
Alex immediately noticed the ‘eh�
� was missing.
’It could have been worse, I suppose, it’s just the cold, it’ll take a bit of getting used to."
You haven’t seen anything yet, believe me."
“Well, I don’t know anything about that, all I know is that it’s what we in England call brass monkey weather, cold enough to freeze the…”
Laughing a deep full-bellied laugh, John finished the quote for Alex.
“We speak the same language here, you know, for the most part. Most of the European extractions here were originally Brits and the rest Irish, Scottish, all from the Islands. We have our own First Nations people, the Mi’kmaq who were here long before any of us and our black community who first set foot on our shores in the early 1600s. So you can see, we’re just a mixed bunch of apostates that’s what we are, also known as Newfies in Newfoundland. You’ll be quite at home here.”
Alex was already warming to him and things were getting off to a good start.
He had researched and secured accommodation for rent in Halifax before he left England and was well pleased when he saw it following his meeting. It was a small self-contained annex off one of the big old traditional houses bordering the inlet in Halifax. The 1960s and on had seen the area in and around the harbour designated ‘historic’ and gradually restored. Alex favoured the old heritage architectural styles and saw some resemblance to areas in and around London and the west coast of England. Once again he was privy to a water view from his flat; this time of the harbour; which naturally was different to the little inlet of St. Ives but nonetheless beautiful and as he was to find out, exquisite at sunset and sunrise.
His work was going to be varied covering three areas, that of typical harbour tug boat work, some handling of commodities such as forest products and the major part of his duties, of most interest to Alex, the towing of offshore drilling platforms for the oil and gas industry, and marine salvage work. During winter months, he could be called upon to assist in ice breaking operations, another entirely new venture for him and he was eager to get started.
Full Circle Page 10