For some reason, I actually missed the heat within the water.
It was similar to the water I’d tasted in some of the villages surrounding the volcano, and it left visions of those villages swimming through my mind. How injured was I? Badly enough that I had a hard time thinking and focusing.
“Drink, but not too much,” she muttered.
“I’m sorry you have to help me,” I said.
“As am I,” she said.
She pulled the waterskin away and slipped an arm under my head, pulling me up. I breathed out, trying to focus on the pain in my head, the agony I felt, but not wanting to give too much attention to it.
“Why did they want me to travel with you?” I asked.
She opened her mouth, looking as if she wanted to argue with me, before clamping it closed again. She looked off into the distance, staring into the darkness, then turned back to me for a moment. “I don’t know.”
“But you think they wanted us to travel together?”
“This is the journey of transformation,” she said softly. “It is to be a celebration. All must take their own journey, but not all are ready to search for Affellah on their journey.”
“But you were,” I said.
She nodded. “Today was my journey. Once I complete this, then—and perhaps only then—I might be able to understand what Affellah asks of me.”
I hadn’t known that. Perhaps this was to be my celebration and my journey, too. Perhaps she was to be a part of it. Maybe the Servant wanted me to travel with her. Could there be a reason for that?
“What if Affellah asks you to protect me?”
She looked away. “That is not what Affellah would ask.”
I tried to move, but the throbbing in my head made everything a bit blurry. I took a breath, steadying myself, reaching for the connection I shared with the green dragon, and feeling him there within my mind. “How do you know what Affellah wants? Is there a way of speaking to Affellah?”
“I speak to Affellah every day,” she whispered.
I licked my lips. “Does Affellah ever speak back?”
“Have you ever seen the sun?”
I looked over to her, frowning. “What kind of question is that?”
“Have you ever felt the heat of the day? Have you ever known the energy of the flame? Have you ever known—”
I raised my hand. “Affellah speaks to you through fire. That’s what you’re saying.”
“What is Affellah but fire?”
“What is fire but fire?”
She watched me silently and I shifted so I could look around and try to get a sense of where she had made camp. It was a small clearing with rock all around us and a single tree just across from me. I couldn’t make out anything but the trunk rising into the darkness. A glowing from the fire radiated around us, but it left everything else shadowed.
“All I want is to understand your people.” I shifted again, looking over to Asanley. “I was taught the Vard were my enemy, but in the time I have learned about the dragon magic, I haven’t seen them as my enemy.”
She watched me, the darkness still burning in her gaze, but she said nothing.
I had traveled with the Servant for a while, but had never known they had such a devotion to fire. I had known about the volcano, but had not realized there was something else beyond it.
When Thomas had captured the Servant, the Servant had been angry, and I had not fully understood it, but having now spent time with the people of this land, I thought I did.
Thomas had separated the Servant from Affellah. I knew now how that would have felt like torture.
But Asanley had a different connection to Affellah. She was not bound to Affellah the way the Servant seemed to be. Still, she had some control over fire, similar to what I would’ve expected from anyone connected to the dragons.
I needed to use this opportunity to understand more. Perhaps that was why the Servant had sent her with me.
“Can you tell me about your people?” I asked.
“No,” she said.
“Can you tell me about yourself?”
She looked over to me, again ready to argue, but decided against it. “What do you want to know?”
“I’m curious about your experiences living in this land. My homeland is quite a bit different from yours, even though we aren’t separated by that much distance.”
“Your land is soft. Your people are soft. And you come here to try to prove yourself against better people. I have seen it my entire life. I have known your precious dragons and have heard the call of their attack. I have seen the fire raining down on my villages, forcing my people to hide, praying to Affellah to save us.” When she looked up at me, there was a flash of darkness, a surge of anger, in her eyes. “Is that what you want to know about?”
“I didn’t know before I came to your lands.” Having seen the attacks, and what my people had done, I couldn’t help but feel a measure of guilt and responsibility for what had happened.
When I had been at the Academy, serving there, I had seen no sign of dragon attacks on the Vard lands, nor had I heard of any. Even Natalie’s father had claimed there had been no attacks on the Vard in quite some time, other than the cities I had now seen which were attacked long ago. What would have prompted the king into wanting to destroy all of the Vard lands?
“You are here because you want to use my people.”
“I’m here because I want our people to have peace,” I said, looking over to her.
The light surrounded her, giving off a bit of a glow around her, making her seem even lovelier than she had earlier in the day. I shook the thought away, and everything swam in my head as the pain surged.
“My home was in a place outside of the kingdom—at least, it might as well have been.” I sat up, looking over to her and holding her gaze, wondering if there was anything I could say to her to convince her I didn’t want to harm her people. I didn’t want to harm anyone. I only wanted understanding. That thought stayed with me more than anything else. “It wasn’t until recently that I learned I had a connection to the dragons.” I looked up. I couldn’t see the dragon, though I could feel him. The sense of him remained faint, distant, though near enough to me that I was aware of his presence. I was thankful for that. I still worried that my time spent with the Vard, and trying to search for this Affellah, would somehow separate me from that power. “When I learned, I wanted to do whatever it took to try to understand it.”
“So you decided to chase Affellah. You are an outsider. You do not deserve Affellah.”
“I didn’t know Affellah existed. My kingdom attacked one of your Servants, and I had him freed.” There was no point in denying what happened. “There were some within my kingdom who wanted it to appear that the Vard had attacked, and those same people, I think, wanted to make it look like the Djarn had attacked at a different time.”
She frowned. “Djarn?”
“They’re a people who live within the forest around the kingdom.”
“The forest?”
“The vast expanse of trees as far as the eye can see. There is an enormous forest in my kingdom. But that wasn’t my home. I could show you it, if you wanted.”
She glowered at me. “Why would I ever leave my land?”
“I wasn’t saying—”
“You think to coerce me into coming with you? I’m on my journey for Affellah. And if your people decide to come after me, then I will be a Servant to my people.”
I leaned back. I was tired and needed to rest. And I didn’t think there was anything I could tell her to convince her I wasn’t here to harm her people. But she had helped me after my fall, and that was a step in the right direction.
We were both after the same thing: understanding. She wanted to better connect to Affellah, while I simply wanted to know what Affellah was. Perhaps we could succeed together.
But from the way she watched me, the darkness in her eyes, I felt she might kill me first.
Chapter Se
venteen
I drifted, finally sleeping, and awoke to the bright sun shining down on me, baking my flesh and leaving it raw. I sat up in pain and irritation, flesh screaming.
The stone around me was already unpleasantly hot, and as I shifted, my hands felt like they were burning too.
Asanley was gone.
She had no reason to stay. She had made it clear she had no interest in making her journey with me, and she had made it clear she despised my people; from what I had seen, it was for good reason.
I had to keep moving.
I had no idea how long the Servant would encourage me to take this journey for, but I had a feeling I still had quite a ways to go before I uncovered what he wanted from me. Eventually, I had to hope I would find what I needed, that I would understand the power that existed in this land. Hopefully I could reach for Affellah then.
I made my way down the slope, moving carefully, slowly, and could feel the heat of the volcano behind me, which made it difficult to know where I was to go. It was times like that when I could almost believe Affellah was there, a power that could be reached, but I couldn’t find a way to touch it. Perhaps I could if I tapped into the energy of the dragon, but I couldn’t draw upon anything consequential.
I kept moving.
It was midday, or thereabouts, when I reached the bottom of the mountain. The ground opened up from here, still just as barren as it had been everywhere else, though the energy here was strange and unsettling.
I could feel something coming off the mountain, as if Affellah wanted me to be aware of it. I had felt the heat I attributed to Affellah, but I also felt the kind of power that I believed came from whatever source Asanley tapped into—maybe that was Affellah, too, or perhaps something else.
I stumbled forward, looking for signs of Asanley. She needed to be here somewhere, on her journey.
But I was not a part of her journey. I was to take my own. This was to be my transformation.
A haze covered everything, heat mixing with an unpleasant swirling power, but I kept moving. Eventually, I would either find what the Servant wanted me to find, or perhaps I would find Asanley. So far, our journey had taken us along the same path. Perhaps we would connect again. But I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to. I had been trying to understand her, but she had no interest in the same.
It was time to stop. I didn’t need to appease all of the Vard. I had no interest in staying here long term. I just needed to learn enough so I could eventually help the kingdom and perhaps prevent additional attacks.
With my connection to the dragons, once I returned and regained the cycle, I might even be able to work with the Vard to prevent their involvement in further attacks.
As I kept moving, the haze started to solidify and a figure began to emerge.
Asanley?
I stumbled forward, making my way toward her, and as the haze separated, I realized it wasn’t her. The black clothing of the Servant became visible.
I blinked, stopping, and I looked at him. “What are you doing here?” I looked behind me, Affellah looming back there, and I struggled to understand how he had managed to get down the mountainside as quickly as I did.
“You have struggled with your journey. I thought it would be best if I facilitated the remainder of it.”
I frowned at him. “You told me this was to be my journey. Not yours.”
“And you have said you intend to remove the presence of murtar from your kingdom.”
“I do.”
“Then you must find Affellah. You must open yourself to it. And I will help you.”
“I thought I did.”
The Servant watched me. “Not yet. But you will.”
He turned, and I had a feeling I was supposed to follow, but even if I did, I had no idea what I might find. I glanced behind me, back to Affellah, and shook my head.
As I followed the Servant, I wondered where he was guiding me. He was quiet, as if anything he might say to me would change the dynamic between us. Perhaps it would. We walked for the better part of the morning, looping around the side of Affellah, and I realized he was guiding me toward something.
“Are you taking me to the same place Asanley has gone?”
“She is on her own journey.”
Maybe that was for the best.
I didn’t need her scowls, or glowers, and I certainly didn’t need to have the ongoing debate about how I had only come here to use her people.
A nagging doubt stayed with me though. Maybe a part of me had come here so I could use her people—or, at least, use their god.
I tried to push those thoughts away, but it didn’t work.
Could she have been right?
I looked over to the Servant, who was expressionless. He continued to quietly guide me along the base of the mountain, weaving north around the mountainside, in a direction I had not taken before.
I soon saw another figure. Asanley.
He was leading me toward her.
I saw her leaning forward, as if she was watching something in front of her, but I couldn’t tell what it was. Not until we neared. Then the heat began to build, practically baking me. Fire burned in front of me.
It was a living thing, something unlike any other fire I’d ever seen before, almost enough for me to feel drawn by it, connected to the flames, but I tried to ignore it. I could feel the heat and the energy coming off the ground, a burbling of lava that flowed like a river.
“Affellah is impressive, is it not?”
I looked over to the Servant. Thomas had once told me there were a dozen different Servants, but in the time I had been in the Vard-controlled lands, I had only known this one Servant, the one who had been captured by Thomas and held in his prison. Were there more? Perhaps he was the only true Servant. I was tempted to ask, but I wasn’t sure if such a thing was permitted.
“The fire is impressive,” I said. “I still wonder if it’s similar to the fire the dragons have.” Not the same, but perhaps similar enough that it didn’t matter.
“Servants call upon the true power of Affellah. It’s different from your dragons.” In that moment, there was a surge of heat that radiated from him, as if he wanted to make a point.
Briefly, I thought I could feel a connection form between us through the surge of energy as if he were trying to bring me into his cycle. Then it was gone.
“What is it?” I asked.
“You speak of the dragons as if they should be celebrated,” he said.
I was tempted to argue with him about this. It wasn’t a matter of celebrating the dragons, not the way the Vard worshipped Affellah, but there was a reason to understand them. They offered a path to power that we couldn’t access otherwise.
“What should they be, then?” I regarded the Servant. He had blackened skin, almost cracked, and it seemed to glow from someplace deep within him. When I had first seen the Servant, I had thought him grotesque, but the longer I was around him, the more I recognized that his power came from that place deep within him. And given what I had encountered, I felt increasingly certain I needed to understand that power as well. I didn’t want to end up like him, but I did want to know what he might do.
He raised his hand and held it above the lava river, letting it press upward, as if he were feeling for the heat within it. “Like all things, they can be corrupted by murtar because they do not celebrate Affellah as well as they should. If they were to celebrate it the way we do, perhaps you would know the truth. Dragons once lived in these lands. Your creatures are ones of fire, and our lands would be well suited to them. But they were also among the first to fall to the corruption. We recognized the danger posed by having them here. Our land was safer without dragons.”
I wasn’t sure if that was true. The dragons might have actually enjoyed the Vard lands, but they also would have protected them.
“What if they celebrated Affellah? Could they be protected from the murtar?”
I found him frowning.
He strode along th
e lava river, staying far closer than I was comfortable, though he was one of the Servants of Affellah, and with his appearance, he was bound to the lave in a way I was not. I could withstand the heat a little bit, and I thought I might be able to use my connection to the dragons to push a barrier outward, but I could still feel something blocking us.
He kept watching me, as if waiting for me to reveal something to him.
In the distance, I watched as Asanley quietly made her way along. She was on her own journey, and this was her method to try to find that power. I was not to intervene, yet my presence alone was an intervention, despite my best intentions.
“How am I supposed to take my journey? You want me to find Affellah, to complete my transformation, but I’m not sure there’s any way for me to do that here.” Plus, I wouldn’t be able to do it with Asanley. She had no interest in having me along with her, nor any interest in my pursuit of Affellah or the understanding I felt I needed. And I couldn’t blame her. She was angry. How could she not be? She had suffered because of my people—or, at least, because of the kingdom—though I wasn’t entirely sure what we had done to her.
He clasped his hands in front of him. He had on black robes that flowed to the ground but somehow didn’t seem to move, even in the wind—that is, when there was a wind, which was typically hot, steamy, and unpleasant, anyway.
“Do you not think you have gained an understanding?”
“I gained some understanding, but I returned for a different purpose. I returned so I could know Affellah, so I could ask its help to defeat the murtar in the kingdom.”
“Affellah must decide for itself. We do not ask. It guides us.”
Was that his way of saying I wasn’t going to be able to reach Affellah? If not, then why had he brought me here at all?
“Then perhaps it’s time for me to go back,” I said.
“Have you found what you came for?”
I shrugged and turned my attention back to the river of lava, staring at it. “I thought you could help.”
The Summoned Dragon (Cycle of Dragons Book 4) Page 16