“That will not hold,” Asanley said.
Based on what I had seen when I had been here before, I knew it wouldn’t. If I could find a way to connect to Affellah, then perhaps it wouldn’t matter, but it proved difficult. I could feel the warmth of Affellah, but I couldn’t reach for it. Maybe my proximity to the dragon made it difficult, or perhaps there was some other reason.
Asanley motioned toward what I had just done. “If the murtar has taken hold here, it will overpower everything besides Affellah. You must use Affellah.”
“I don’t know that I can,” I said. “I’m trying. I’m doing what your Servant wanted me to do, and attempting to open myself to it, but . . .”
“There are other ways of accepting Affellah,” Asanley said. “The Servants serve it directly. It flows within them, much like Affellah flows within all of us, but what you see from the Servants is something greater, more powerful, and is a way for others who cannot open themselves to it to feel the effect of Affellah.”
I turned so I could look at her again and found her staring down at the ground, at the remains of the forest area the dragon had burned. “I thought you said you could feel Affellah in the way the fire touched your cheeks and in the power around you.”
She turned to me. There was a moment where the typical irritation flashed in her eyes, but then it faded. “You were listening.”
“Of course I was listening,” I said. “I’m trying to understand so I can help my people.”
“Affellah can be felt by others, but most are unwilling to listen. It’s why there are Servants. We didn’t always have them. Back when our lands were different, there was no need.”
“You mean before the murtar spread.”
She nodded. “There were stories that spoke of it,” she said. The dragon was circling steadily, slowly enough that the wind didn’t carry our voices. Asanley stayed close, closer than she needed to. “There are those with memories of it. It was not so long ago. Memories of what our land used to look like. Memories of the cities, the grasslands, the water.”
I couldn’t imagine how much her people had changed under the influence of murtar. I couldn’t imagine the way they had suffered, what that might have been like.
“But we came to a different realization about the key to holding the murtar at bay: We needed to have a greater connection to Affellah. It was Affellah that saved us, and it would be Affellah that would continue to protect us.”
“If your lands are safe, why do you still need Affellah to protect you?”
“Are these lands safe?” Asanley asked.
I looked down, and the sizzling energy I had layered over the ground had already started to fail. I could feel it failing, could feel the way the presence of murtar buried within the ground was continuing to push.
Would that be the fate of our kingdom? Would we end up like the Vard?
“There’s no way of saving us, is there?”
“Affellah,” she said.
“But what if we don’t want to end up like your land?”
I didn’t know how we could do anything else. I didn’t know if there was any way of changing what had already started to happen or if there would be enough power to do so.
But I did know there would not be enough willingness to do what the Vard had done. My people did not have that same determination. We wouldn’t have the strength to sacrifice what the Vard had sacrificed. We would be overwhelmed by murtar.
“How did your people learn to fight back?”
“We learned because we saw,” she said. “Those touched by murtar were changed. Corrupted. Turned toward something darker. They welcomed it.” She turned to me, and for a moment, there was a flash of worry in her eyes, but then it faded again. It was difficult for me to read Asanley. “The first to fall were those who had power.”
“What kind of power?”
Did she mean dragons? I had learned there had been dragons in her land, but no one had made any comment about connecting to them before. “Did your people actually connect to the dragons before the murtar attack?”
She held my gaze and didn’t look away.
“And here I thought you didn’t care about them,” I said, shaking my head.
“They were the first to fall,” Asanley said, her voice soft.
“Which is why you worry about me.”
“You have tried to understand Affellah,” she said.
As she did, though I detected some uncertainty within her voice. She wasn’t entirely sure she could trust what I had done or my motivations for doing so.
And I understood it. I didn’t even know if I could be trusted.
I believed I had gone to the Vard to understand Affellah so I could stop the murtar, but it was to help the kingdom. Or was it for myself?
“Trying to understand and opening myself to it are different things.”
“You start to see the truth,” she said.
I frowned at her, but I noticed a hint of a smile.
“Do you resent coming with me?” I asked.
“This was my journey.”
It wasn’t really an answer, but I wasn’t sure if she was going to provide me with much more of one. It was her journey, much like this was my journey, but I had been given the choice, whereas she had been told what her journey needed to be. I suspect, despite her protestations, she did resent the need to come.
I wondered why the Servant had asked her to come along with me.
I assumed it was tied to the murtar, to trying to understand what we would be dealing with and perhaps see the full extent of it. If that was the case, though, couldn’t he have come along with her?
But he wouldn’t be able to blend in.
Not like Asanley.
Not that she did fit in within the kingdom—certainly not the way we were dressed—but she didn’t have the scarred appearance of the Servant. She would’ve had an easier time in the kingdom.
“I’m sorry he asked you to come with me.”
“It was not him but Affellah that asked. It is my journey.”
I could see the irritation in her eyes, even if she didn’t want to say anything more. She might have believed in Affellah, that she was here for a specific purpose, but that didn’t make it easy for her. I felt she didn’t want to be here.
“Can we do anything about the murtar?”
“Open to Affellah,” she said.
“It’s going to continue to spread.”
Asanley looked at me, and again there was the conflicted expression in her eyes, the burning that left me questioning what she might know—what she might do.
“I was not alive when my people overthrew the influence of the murtar. I could not be. But I understand what is involved. I have trained for it, welcoming and understanding the truth.”
The truth to the Vard meant everything had to be destroyed by Affellah.
Did that have to happen here?
These were the Djarn lands, or they had been. I couldn’t imagine what Natalie would think if I suggested we destroy the forest in order to prevent the spread of murtar. The Djarn preferred to avoid abandoning their lands, but that was a mistake as well.
We circled above the forest and became aware of other distant places with murtar—at least half a dozen, probably many more than that, all of them influenced in the same way. Then there were the other places: the Djarn cities, the kingdom’s cities—places the murtar had already destroyed.
Memories only now. What had happened in those places?
“How do my people open themselves to Affellah?”
“There is no way for your people to do so. You turn away from it. You welcome a different kind of power.” She looked down at the dragon, and I could practically feel her irritation with him. He seemed to recognize it as well, and a burst of heat radiated from him, surging through him, and it flowed within me.
“But your people once believed in that as well.”
“Once.”
There had to be another way.
&nbs
p; We continued circling, heading across the ground, but I wasn’t exactly sure what else we were going to need to do. I had this feeling of urgency that stayed with me, that struck me, telling me there had to be some other answer here, but I could not know what it was.
We had passed over another section, when I noticed a speck in the distance—a dragon. I looked up and found it wasn’t only me who noticed. The green dragon had noticed it as well. I focused on the other dragon and tried to connect to the heat within him, opening myself to that heat, and felt a different surge of power within me, as if doing so allowed me to feel something more, as if I was truly opening myself to a greater power.
Affellah?
It would be remarkable if going to the Vard lands had helped me connect to the dragons in a better way, but that didn’t seem to be the case. When I opened myself to the heat and energy, when I could feel that distant dragon, I didn’t feel anything more.
I should be able to feel the dragon. There should be heat coming off the dragon, even if he didn’t permit me to use that energy.
“What is that?” Asanley asked.
“That is a dragon,” I said, still opening myself to the heat and energy, trying to find a way of latching on to that power.
“Why do I get the sense you are disturbed by its presence? I thought you worshipped the dragons.”
I glanced over to her, separating from my connection to the dragon. “We don’t worship them, but we can use their power—at least, some of us can.”
I turned back and the dragon had gone. I had no idea where. I wasn’t even sure which direction he was going.
It could be one of the Djarn dragons. That might be why I had not been able to connect to it, and why the heat and energy within that dragon had been severed from me. It wouldn’t be surprising if that were the case, especially as when I had been with Natalie, I hadn’t been able to feel her connection to the dragons the same way as I had before. She had separated from me, as if the Djarn dragons were kept from me, that power restricted in a way that prevented me from drawing upon it in any manner.
“I want to see how many other places are like this,” I said.
“Is that the only reason you came here?”
I looked back at her. She was holding on to me, not the dragon, and she had remained stiff the entire time we had been flying.
I could tell she was irritated again, but there was also something else.
“I came because I knew the murtar had already started to influence my land, and I thought there might be some way for me to use my connection to Affellah to remove it. I want to do all I can to help my people, but I’m not exactly sure what that’s going to entail. I was hoping you might be able to help.” And I suspect the Servant had thought she might be able to as well. Perhaps not though. “Otherwise, what will happen if this murtar begins to build in my land, then spreads back to yours?”
“Affellah would not permit it to return.”
I wasn’t as convinced as she was. And after having seen the attack on the Servant, the way the memory of the murtar had influenced him, I couldn’t help but feel as if he wasn’t convinced either.
“I just want to know . . .”
I trailed off as I noticed another dragon in the distance.
This one was closer, near enough that I should be able to feel the heat within him, but as I opened myself, trying to find heat within myself and use that to connect to this gray dragon, I could feel nothing.
Not another Djarn dragon.
There wouldn’t be so many here.
It struck me as surprising. Natalie had made it sound like the Djarn had left this land. There would be no reason for them to have remained here.
But why couldn’t I feel the heat of the dragon? Why couldn’t I tap into that energy? I continued to call upon that power, trying to send that energy through me, focusing and letting the cycle build. Then I borrowed from the green dragon.
Heat stretched between us and I pushed outward.
The gray dragon turned toward me, roaring.
There was a rage within him, as well as resistance.
I was already too late. The dragons had already succumbed to the influence of the murtar. Maybe I couldn’t do anything for them.
I immediately withdrew.
I could feel the heat of the green dragon and the way he was reacting, trying to burn that resistance away from us, the energy we had detected, yet even as he did, I worried that the murtar we had detected would overwhelm us.
I felt Asanley suddenly flare with heat, and as she touched me, there was a flow of something warm, almost painful, that crept through me and into the dragon, who settled beneath us. When he did, I looked over, but the other dragon was gone.
“The dragons have been influenced by the murtar,” I said, mostly to myself. I was trying to figure out what we needed to do next. The first dragon might have been influenced as well. Maybe it wasn’t Djarn at all.
Did that mean the dragon that Natalie traveled on had been influenced?
No. She would’ve known.
And the Djarn cycle would have to protect it.
But what of the dragons within the kingdom? What of the other dragons in my cycle whom I had been separated from? They were isolated.
I looked down at the ground, seeing the forest sweeping beneath us.
I knew where we needed to go, and I hoped we wouldn’t get there too late.
Chapter Twenty-One
Wind gusted as we flew low, barely skimming above the treetops. I could feel the wind shifting, containing some heat along with a touch of the cool northern breeze, leaving me with memories of my time within the kingdom. There was a familiarity here, but also something that felt wrong. The air still smelled of the trees and flowers, and even that of the oncoming city, but all of it felt different to me now.
Had my brief time in the Vard lands changed so much for me?
I looked over to Asanley, and could practically see her mind working. This was the heart of the enemy. This was where she had lost people she cared about. And now she was here because of her connection to Affellah and the possibility of what we would have to deal with. Had I made a mistake?
I looked over to see a deep frown on her face. “We’re getting close. We won’t be long now. I want to make sure you aren’t going to do anything dangerous. I can see the way you’re looking at everything around you.”
“I haven’t seen anything but these . . . trees.” Asanley spat the last word.
“Do the trees displease you?”
“There are just so many of them,” she muttered.
“I found your land to be empty.”
“My land is hard, but hardness is necessary to be strong. That is what Affellah teaches.”
A soft howl echoed from below, reminding me of animals from the forest near my home, but there was something off about it.
Mesahn.
I hadn’t given a whole lot of thought to the mesahn since heading to the Vard lands. All I had thought about were the dragons, my cycle, and trying to connect to that power. Perhaps that had been a mistake too.
It was possible I needed to better understand the mesahn. They were powerful creatures, and I had seen them hunting dragons. I had even seen the dragons reacting in kind, attacking one of the mesahn.
“What was that?” Asanley asked.
“I think that’s a creature known as mesahn,” I said. “They’re like wolves, but larger. The king uses them with his Hunters to hunt.”
“What do they hunt?”
Manuel had never given me a satisfactory answer to that question, and I had never pushed him about it. Could they have some role in harming dragons? I had seen the mesahn attacking a dragon once before, which left me wondering. If I could find a mesahn, maybe I could test whether it was influenced by the murtar. Maybe that was why the dragon had fought against the mesahn. Perhaps the murtar had been spreading for far longer than I had realized.
In the distance, I caught sight of the capital, t
hough it felt strange to approach it from this vantage. I could see the city spreading out within the clearing inside of the forest. Everywhere else, the forest was a dense blanket that covered the land, but it opened here as if parting for the city itself.
We started to descend. The green dragon knew where to go. I could see the dragon pens in the distance, and could even feel a hint of dragon magic from them, but I was not connected to them.
I started to push through the dragon and felt resistance.
He didn’t want me to bond with the rest of these dragons. They were not to be a part of our cycle.
We circled briefly, coming to land just outside of the dragon pen. Bars of metal separated the dragons from us, but there were several within the pen. A green dragon, a deep-blue-scaled dragon, massive in size, and even a black dragon. I sat atop my dragon, staring through the bars of the pen and focusing on them. Lessons I had learned from my time in the Academy came back to me—ones that had taught me how to reach for the power of the dragons, to harness that energy, and to concentrate. I could do so, but as I attempted to reach for the blue dragon, I could feel some pressure pushing against me. Partly that came from the green dragon, but partly it came from something within the blue dragon himself, as if it wanted to prevent me from reaching that power.
I climbed down from the dragon’s back. When I reached the ground, Asanley had not moved. “If you want to help, you’re going to need to come with me.”
“This is where Affellah brings you?”
“I’m not sure. I can feel something here.” At least, I had thought I could. Perhaps it was simply the strange separation from the dragons—or perhaps there was something more. “I think this is my journey.”
Even though it felt odd to say it, I realized it was true. This was my journey.
Asanley held my gaze. “You must complete your journey, then.”
I looked over to the dragon, who had stayed in the trees. “You might have to remain here,” I said to him, and he roared softly. “If anything comes for you, take to the air and go.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what they might do to you if they reach you.”
The Summoned Dragon (Cycle of Dragons Book 4) Page 19