A slight frown formed between his eyebrows. “What is a pharmacy residency, exactly?”
“After I finished pharmacy school, I could have gotten a job at a retail pharmacy, like the chain drugstores, right away. Or gone back home to work for my dad—he owns an independent drugstore in Oklahoma.” A wave of guilt rose up at the thought of her dad, but she forced it down. “But during my second year of pharmacy school I got a job at Children’s Hospital for some extra money.
“There’s a clinical oncology pharmacist who helps manage their medications, and before that I’d never seen that side of pharmacy. Kind of like physicians, we have to do extra training if we want to specialize. After I got my degree, I applied for residencies in oncology. There aren’t many of them, but they’re becoming more common. It’s two years for oncology, and I’ll finish next spring.”
“That’s cool,” Andrew said. “I didn’t know pharmacists did that sort of thing. My sisters couldn’t stop talking about how great you were, telling us about the chemo.”
Lauren smiled at the compliment. “I really want to stay. I love it here.” Kansas City had become home to her, and the girls from the cancer center were like her family. It had been a long time since she’d felt like she belonged somewhere.
She wasn’t eager to go back to being nothing but an afterthought (by her mother) or simply a solution to a business crisis (by her father). But if this job didn’t pan out, she wasn’t sure she’d have another option.
“You’re from Oklahoma, you said?”
She nodded. “Cedar Creek. It’s a suburb of Oklahoma City. What about you?”
“A tiny town in Nebraska. I moved here for law school.”
“Your whole family moved with you?” The involvement Andrew’s family had in his care warmed Lauren’s heart. His family seemed nothing like hers, and though she found it overwhelming, she was envious of the obvious love between them.
“Hell, no. Thank God,” Andrew said with a laugh. “Just my twin sister, Jeni, lives here. She moved here for a job a few months ago. The others still live up north. They all came down for the first oncologist visit and chemo treatment. We have a farm, so my dad had to stay behind to keep an eye on things, and I guarantee he enjoyed having peace and quiet for once. Those women are suffocating.”
“They seem wonderful.”
“Wonderfully annoying.”
“They obviously adore you.”
“Who wouldn’t? I’m adorable.” He grinned at her, his white teeth flashing.
Returning his smile, because she couldn’t possibly respond in any other way, Lauren searched for something witty to say.
Her buzzing phone saved her, but as she retrieved it her elbow pushed several papers off the table.
“Peter Parker,” she said under her breath, as the pages fluttered to the floor like snowflakes.
Andrew immediately joined her on the floor to gather them together. Papers in hand, Lauren straightened and slammed her head on the underside of the table. The grunt that came out of her mouth was exceedingly unladylike, and her cheeks flushed scarlet.
“You okay?” Andrew’s hand brushed the top of her head as they both stood up. Her breath caught at the contact.
She stepped back and sat down. “I’m fine.”
“Peter Parker?” He resumed his seat. “What is it with you and superheroes?”
Lauren recalled what she’d said the day she spilled coffee on him. “I wouldn’t consider Captain Kirk a superhero.”
Andrew raised an eyebrow. “I respectfully disagree.”
Lauren waited a moment. “That’s all you’ve got? You really will be a mediocre lawyer.”
He laughed. “Seriously, what’s with the names?”
“For two years I worked at Children’s Hospital, and for two more I’ve volunteered there, spending time with the kids.” She straightened the papers in front of her. “We have to be careful what we say around them. And just like the regular cuss words, the silly ones become a habit, and they just sort of come out. The nurses and I made a game of it…to see who could come up with the most creative ways to curse without actually cursing.”
“I hope you won.”
“The competition is ongoing.”
They continued talking for a few minutes, and Lauren picked up her coffee mug to find it empty.
Andrew rose and held his hand out for it. “Here, let me. I need to order something, and I don’t trust you with a hot beverage.”
Lauren scowled, and he winked at her before he walked to the front counter.
He returned with two cups full to the brim, and the aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted across the table.
“What was going on this morning? With that guy?” Andrew asked.
Confusion clouded Lauren’s thoughts for a moment before she realized he must be asking about Zeke. She scrunched her nose in apology. “I can’t talk about it. Patient privacy rules are pretty strict.”
“Oh.” Andrew took a drink of his steaming coffee. “I guess that’s good to know. That you haven’t been going around telling everyone how my mom asked about sex.”
Lauren grinned at him even as her stomach flipped at the word coming out of his mouth. Goodness, what was she, twelve? “Never.”
His eyes dropped to the tabletop, and the sudden silence seemed intensified despite the low hum of nearby conversation surrounding them.
“Are you doing okay? Really?” she asked. “Like I said before…I have a hard time believing men if they have no complaints.”
He met her gaze. “Honestly? I’m tired. My appetite is weird, and certain smells bother me.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Can I be honest and say I’m dreading going bald? I know I’m a guy and I shouldn’t care, but I don’t think it’s gonna be a good look for me.”
He lowered his hand and looked away, and in that second he seemed so vulnerable and unsure, Lauren would have done just about anything to make it better. “I don’t think you need to worry,” she said quietly.
“What?” His eyes were back on her.
“I said I don’t think you need to worry.”
“What do you mean?” He lifted an eyebrow, teasing her.
She narrowed her eyes. “You know exactly what I’m saying.”
“You think I’m hot?”
“I think you know how attractive you are.”
Andrew’s face turned serious. “Do you know how attractive you are?”
She felt her face warm. “I…”
“Because you are,” he interrupted. “You’re beautiful.”
Her limbs suddenly felt weak, and she wrapped her fingers around the edge of her seat for balance.
He continued, either not noticing or not concerned that he’d unnerved her. “I’ve thought about you a lot since we first met. And I don’t mean at the cancer center.” They both glanced in the direction of the self-serve coffee area.
“Me, too,” she admitted against her better judgment. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one who had replayed that morning in her head.
“Would you go out with me? For coffee, or a drink? Dinner, even?”
“We’re having coffee right now.”
“We’re studying. This doesn’t count.”
“I haven’t looked at my books once since you showed up.”
“It wasn’t agreed upon that this was a date prior to the event,” he argued. “Therefore, it doesn’t count.”
“Not mediocre anymore,” she said under her breath.
He draped one arm across the chair to his left and grinned, a triumphant glint in his eyes. “Is that a yes?”
“No.”
He frowned. “You’re saying no?”
“No.”
His head cocked sideways. “What, then?”
Lauren wrapped her fingers around her coffee mug
and looked down at her hands for a moment. What did he want from her? What could his end goal possibly be? She raised her eyes back to his incredibly handsome face.
“Why?”
Chapter Six
“Why what?” Andrew stared at her. “Why do I want to go out with you?”
She nodded.
What kind of question was that? Who wouldn’t want to go out with her? “I’m attracted to you. You make me laugh, even if it’s because your jokes are terrible. You’re smart, and you’ve devoted your life to helping people. Those are the things I know about you so far, and it’s not enough. I want to know more.”
She wanted to say yes. He could see it in her eyes. The way her lips tipped up into a smile, and her shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit.
She sighed. “I want to. But I don’t think I should.”
Now it was his turn to ask, “Why?”
“Because I work at the cancer center. It feels…I don’t know…unethical, I guess. I don’t want anyone to think you’re getting special treatment, or get Dr. Patel in trouble.”
Andrew hadn’t considered any of that. “But you’re not in Dr. Patel’s clinic anymore, right?”
“No. But I was part of your care team at the beginning, and my name is documented in your chart. I really want to get a job there when I’m done, and I don’t want to risk doing something that might be perceived as unprofessional.”
He didn’t want to seem pushy, but she’d said she wanted to. He wanted her to. “Is there a formal policy against it?”
“There is against physicians having relationships with patients. I don’t know about the rest of us, or when it’s a patient from a different clinic.”
He wasn’t willing to give up without hard evidence. “If we don’t know for certain, can we assume there isn’t?” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table. “Please, let me spend more time with you.”
She looked at his hands, and he focused to keep them steady. He felt a little out of his element…he wasn’t normally this nervous. Women rarely made him work this hard when he asked them out. That wasn’t the only reason he grew uneasy, though. He didn’t think he’d ever been so invested in the outcome before.
He wanted her to say yes so badly he ached with it.
He supposed the pain could’ve been related to the lymphoma, or the chemo…but he didn’t think so.
“I don’t know.” She ran a hand along the back of her hair and circled her fingers around her ponytail, a gesture he noticed she did often. Was she nervous, too?
“What if I’d had my appointment a day later, and you’d never seen me at the cancer center? If you hadn’t run out so fast and I asked you out when you spilled coffee on me, what would you have said?”
Lauren countered with a question of her own. “Didn’t you just get out of a relationship? Someone named Caroline?”
Andrew was surprised she remembered Caroline’s name. Caroline had been mentioned in front of her what, once? Nearly a month ago? “It’s been almost two months. I’m not looking for a rebound, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Was your sister right? Did she end it because of your diagnosis?” Anger flashed in her eyes, and he bit back a grin. His sisters’ overprotective natures got tiresome, but Lauren feeling defensive on his behalf was strangely satisfying.
“Not exactly,” he hedged.
Lauren lowered her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I asked that. It’s none of my business.”
He didn’t want to talk about Caroline, so he said nothing more. He watched her for a moment, unsure what else he could say to convince her. Or if he even should try to convince her. He wasn’t into forcing a woman to do something.
Then again, she said she wanted to…she was just worried about her job.
Suddenly, another thought struck him. “Are you dating someone?”
Her reply was immediate. “No.”
But he knew she had agreed to a date with Logan tomorrow night. She didn’t know Logan and Andrew knew each other, or that Andrew had been the one to end up with her phone number. His immediate goal that night at McNellie’s had been to prevent Logan from pursuing her, but later that evening he’d considered the possibilities. For himself.
After starting and deleting several texts over the course of the past two weeks, the events of this morning had finally prompted him to action. When he’d seen Lauren standing just a few feet from what appeared to be an unstable, inebriated patient, the instinct to protect her had overwhelmed him.
And then during his chemo treatment in the afternoon, he’d watched the door for her, hoping she’d pass by. When she didn’t, the disappointment that had washed through him had been considerable. He realized how deeply interested he was in her, and as a cancer patient, time wasn’t a guarantee he had the luxury of having.
So, he’d done what any level-headed man would do. He’d used the phone number she’d given to his best friend, pretended to be that friend, and charmed her into agreeing to go out with him. When she’d told “Logan” she was studying tonight, Andrew had a thought she might have come here. He had been studying on his couch at home and decided he could use a change of scenery.
Until this moment, though, he hadn’t considered that she might be excited about the prospect of seeing Logan again. She had given Logan her number, after all. And had been less than thrilled that two weeks had passed before he contacted her… Had she waited in anticipation and been disappointed when he hadn’t called her the next day? According to his sisters, Logan was good-looking, and Andrew knew he never had trouble with women. Could it be that Lauren’s hesitation to go out with Andrew stemmed from her desire to see how it went with Logan first?
Problem was…they were one and the same.
Shit. I’ve really dug myself into a hole now.
Her quiet voice brought him out of his reverie. “I’m sorry.” She gathered her belongings into a pile on the table, and she stood. The black shirt she wore brought out the brightness of her eyes, and the color was a lovely contrast against her pale skin.
Don’t go, he wanted to say.
She took a deep breath and exhaled, her eyes on his. “I just can’t.” She picked up her things and turned to face the door. “I’m sorry.”
Then she was gone.
This is a mistake.
Andrew closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest. Scrubbing one hand down his face, he pounded the steering wheel with the other.
He sat in the Republic parking lot. It was two minutes past seven, and because pharmacists had to be some of the most detail-oriented people on the planet, he’d bet his left arm that Lauren was already inside.
Waiting for Logan.
What the fuck had he been thinking?
An hour ago, it had been: I have cancer. Yes, the chances of complete cure are greater than 80 percent for the type and stage I have…but 20 percent don’t get there. What if I’m that 20 percent? This is not a time for fear. It’s a time to take risks. To live life and go after what I want with both hands.
Now, it was: I’m a complete moron.
He wouldn’t stand her up, though, even if the only person it made look bad was Logan. Andrew couldn’t do that to her.
Man up and get in there.
He slid both hands through his hair, straightened the collar of his button-down shirt, and got out of the car. His stomach was in knots.
Once inside, he stopped at the hostess stand.
“Reservation for two for Andr—I mean, Logan Davis.”
The young woman at the podium referenced her book and smiled at him. “Follow me.”
She led him through the maze of tables, and Andrew’s palms began to sweat. He focused on breathing as his eyes darted from table to table until he saw her. In a stroke of luck she was facing away from the door and hadn’t c
aught sight of him yet.
“I see her. Thank you,” he said to the hostess, hoping that would suffice as a dismissal. He wasn’t sure what kind of reception he was about to get and didn’t particularly want an audience.
His eyes never strayed from Lauren’s beautiful auburn hair, which she wore down in long waves. He took a deep breath and fisted his hands at his side. Approaching on her left, he stopped at the edge of the table.
She was reading a menu but looked up when she sensed his presence. Surprise registered on her face.
“Andrew?” She looked past him, then her eyes returned to his face.
He offered her a cautious smile. “So, funny story…”
Her eyes narrowed.
Andrew wiped his hands across his jeans.
“Logan’s my best friend. I was with him the night you gave him your number.” His pulse raced, but he forged ahead. “I told him who you were, that I knew you, and that it would be weird for me if he called you. I took your number, and for two weeks talked myself out of using it. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m the one who texted you yesterday.”
Lauren didn’t respond right away. Her jaw was tight, but otherwise her face was devoid of obvious emotion.
Andrew had grown up around four women, and knew silence was deceptive. Any time he’d done something stupid, a calm demeanor from his mother had told him things were about to get very bad.
And if Valerie appeared cool and collected? Lord have mercy.
It was awkward just standing there, so he sat down across from her. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I know it was wrong.”
Lauren simply stared at him, her eyes moving back and forth between his, like she was searching for something. Still, she said nothing.
“Are you mad?” he asked.
She pursed her lips and took in a long, deep breath, the process seeming to take an entire minute. “Would you be?”
“Probably,” he admitted.
“Then there’s your answer,” she said stiffly.
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