“I don’t want those kind of details,” came Andrew’s hard voice.
“I meant he found excuses to touch me in class…but okay. The other touching came late—”
“Stop.”
“Okay, jeez. Anyway, after a few weeks he asked me out, and we started dating. Once, I asked why we weren’t going to any of the big football parties I’d heard so much about, and he said I was too nice a girl to be exposed to the stuff that went on there. He said I was different, and he didn’t want to treat me like his previous girlfriends.
“Like an idiot, I believed him, and I fell hard. That is, until the last week of the semester. The night after our lab final, I went to his house to surprise him with a bottle of wine to celebrate the semester being over and found him hooking up with another girl. Apparently, he’d been running around with her the entire time he was seeing me. He’d been close to failing the class and paid my old lab partner to drop so he could team up with me, as the one with the highest grade. He used me to pass the class, so he wouldn’t lose his football scholarship. He broke it off with me right then and there.”
The other end of the line was silent.
“Andrew?”
Andrew made a choking sound. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
The line went dead.
Lauren lowered the phone and looked at the screen, dumbfounded. What had just happened?
She sat up and crossed her legs. When he didn’t call back after a few minutes, she texted him.
Lauren: Is everything okay?
He didn’t reply, so she waited. Maybe she shouldn’t have told him about Will. It had happened a long time ago. But because Will was in the public eye, she was constantly inundated with images on social media of the first man she’d given her heart to—with beautiful actresses or models on his arm. Reminding her that he’d used her.
She opened Instagram and swiped through several photos, barely seeing what was passing across the screen.
What was Andrew doing?
Finally, he called her back.
“Andrew?”
“Sorry about that.” His words were clipped, his breathing heavy.
“Where did you go?”
“First, I got onto my Fantasy Football app and benched that fucker. Then I found my Gearhart jersey, went outside and threw it in the trash, and took to the punching bag my dad has in the garage to try to calm down.”
“Oh.” Lauren chewed on her bottom lip. A warm sensation settled in her belly. “Did it work?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I can’t believe he did that to you. How any man could treat you that way is just… It makes me so fucking mad. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry.”
“You don’t need to be,” Lauren said in as soothing a tone as she could muster. She’d never heard him talk that way and, though a small (okay, medium-sized) part of her was thrilled that he was so indignant on her behalf, she didn’t want him to be upset. “I’m sorry I told you. Even though it probably would have come up eventually, since Will’s the reason I hadn’t planned on giving you a chance in the first place—”
“Whoa, what?”
Lauren toyed with the edge of the comforter. “Ever since that happened with Will, I’ve only had bad experiences with men. I’ve kind of sworn off really attractive guys in particular. You know, the super-hot ones who have no business living among us mortals. I’d pretty much decided guys like that were all conceited tools that existed only to use and break the hearts of average-looking women like me.”
The other end of the line was dead silent. A few indecipherable sounds came through, and then finally, Andrew spoke, his voice low. “Average-looking?”
“You know what I mean. I know I’m not ugly, but I’m nothing special. I don’t typically attract the attention of men like you unless they want something from me.”
“I…” he said, then stopped.
The sigh that came through the speaker was so heavy, she felt the weight on her own chest.
“Lauren.” The rough, husky tone of his voice sent a tingle down her spine. “If you only knew what happens to me every time I look at you…”
He trailed off, and Lauren’s pulse picked up speed. She closed her eyes and placed her hand across her chest, feeling the pound of her heart underneath her palm. No one had ever made her feel this way, of that she was certain.
“If I could act on my thoughts, you’d never doubt the attraction I have to you,” he said. “But I have to be honest. I do want something from you.”
Lauren waited in silence, not confident in her ability to speak.
“I want your words, your breath, and your touch. Your thoughts and ideas, and your ridiculous puns. I want to know every dream and desire you have so I can give them to you. Every single one.”
Silence.
Or, what she thought was silence.
“Are you crying?” he asked.
“N-no.”
“Damn, I wish you weren’t six hours away. Why are you crying?”
“T-that is so s-sweet.” She swept a finger under her eye to catch a tear. “I don’t know what to do when you say things like that. No one’s ever said things like that to me.”
“Then everyone else is an idiot. I mean every word. And I think you’re incredibly beautiful, do you hear me?”
“I hear you,” she whispered. Her feelings for this man overwhelmed her, and it was both wonderful and frustrating. She let out an irritated groan. “Alex Trebek,” she muttered.
“Did you just cuss at me? After I said nice things?” An air of humor was back in his tone.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because this sucks, Andrew!” She jumped off the bed and paced around the small room. “Why couldn’t I have met you before? Or some other way? Why did you have to be a patient?”
“Believe me, I’d prefer if I hadn’t met you the way I did, either.”
Lauren froze mid-step. Had she seriously just complained to him about the fact that he had cancer? “Oh my gosh…I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”
“Lauren, I’m messing with you. Finish what you were saying.”
She resumed pacing but chose her words with care. “I like you, Andrew. I liked you from the beginning, and those feelings grow stronger every day. But I shouldn’t like you. Not like that, and not right now. And it’s hard.”
“I know exactly how hard it is,” he said dryly.
Lauren slapped her hand over her mouth. “Andrew Bishop!”
He chuckled, and she was relieved to hear the sound. “You set me up for that one.”
She supposed she had.
“I’ve liked you from the beginning, too. From before you were my pharmacist.” He paused, and they seemed to inhale simultaneous breaths. “You had me at William Shatner.”
Chapter Twelve
Andrew didn’t see Lauren again until his next chemo appointment. If it weren’t for her, he’d probably dread the way he spent the afternoon every other Friday. But as it was, he looked forward to them the same way he had Saturday morning cartoons as a kid.
He was coming back from the restroom, pulling his IV pole behind him, when he found her at his chair talking to Jeni. He paused at the edge of a pull-around curtain, just out of view, wanting to just look at her for a minute.
She wore dress slacks and a fitted black sweater, and her hair was down, which drove him crazy with the desire to bury his hands in it. Damn, she was beautiful.
“This morning was crazy,” Lauren was saying. “Clinic was super busy. I’m headed down for lunch and wanted to check in on my way. What about you? Andrew said you had a nice Christmas in Nebraska?”
From her chair, Jeni extended her legs straight and crossed her ankles, then folded her arms across her chest. She regarded Lauren with on
e eyebrow raised. “It was good…until the family got into a huge argument. Because of you.”
“What?” Lauren asked, her voice shrill. “What do you mean, because of me?”
Shit. Andrew hadn’t planned on Lauren knowing anything about that, but before he could reach them and stop her, Jeni kept going.
“You should know the Bishops have been die-hard Denver Broncos fans for decades. We drive out for a game at least once a year. But suddenly after Christmas Andrew went on a rampage through the house and took out anything Broncos-related he could find and demanded we choose a different team. ‘At least as long as Gearhart is on it,’ he said.
“He wouldn’t say why, just that the guy had done something pretty shitty in college involving you. Most of us were on board without a second thought. But a few were resistant. You’ve gotta understand, that’s been our team forever. Since way before Gearhart came along. That kind of loyalty isn’t something you can just turn off, you know? No matter how much we like you.”
“Of course, I would never ask you to—”
Andrew came up behind Lauren, but she still hadn’t noticed him.
Jeni held up a hand. “I know you wouldn’t. I’m with Andrew on this. I don’t know what happened, but I haven’t seen Andrew that angry in a long time. So, it must have been bad. Either that, or he cares a lot about you.”
“It’s both.” His voice behind Lauren made her jump. He smiled and brushed his hand across her arm as he walked past, maneuvering his IV pole back into place next to the chair. He bent over to plug it into the wall, and when he stood back up and turned to sit down, Lauren’s cheeks were flushed.
“You…” she swallowed. “Um, you look very nice today.”
He grinned, pleased that she seemed flustered. He’d dressed up in a full suit today, the jacket resting on the arm of his chair. The white dress shirt he wore was partially unbuttoned for access to his port.
“I’ve got a mock trial in class this afternoon, and I wasn’t sure if I’d have time to change.” His eyes moved across her face, lingering on her hair. His voice was low when he said, “You look…very nice, too.” He paused and lowered his chin a notch. “Very.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Jeni cut in. “This is painful to watch.”
Lauren scrunched her nose, the color on her cheeks deepening. He loved when she blushed.
Andrew regarded his sister. “I don’t recall asking you to be here.”
“You can’t come to chemo alone.”
“Sure I can.”
“No, you can’t. Lauren said so.”
Andrew’s gaze flicked to hers. “You did?”
“I said it’s best to have someone with you, but the only time it was required was that first time, in case you had a reaction to any of the drugs.” She cocked an eyebrow and put a hand on her hip. “Were you not paying attention when I taught you about chemo?”
He opted for honesty. “Not to your words.”
Jeni smacked him on the shoulder. “You’re such a jerk,” she muttered.
Andrew’s eyes didn’t leave Lauren’s.
She ran a hand down her hair with a small smile. “I’d better get going. I just wanted to stop by and make sure everything was going okay.” Her expression transformed to a frown. “I didn’t even ask that. How are you feeling? Any nausea? Diarrhea? Headaches?”
Andrew blinked. “No, none of your business, and no.”
“I’m a medical professional. Everything is my business.”
“Not that.”
It looked like she was going to argue, but she just squared her shoulders. “Fine. Good luck on your trial. I hope you win.” She turned to Jeni. “See you Saturday?”
Andrew spoke before Jeni could respond. “I can’t believe you two are hanging out without me.”
Jeni imparted her perfected eye roll. “You see her all the time.”
“I do not.”
“Okay, but you talk to her all the time.”
Andrew shrugged and smiled at Lauren.
She smiled back. “We’re going shopping,” Lauren said. “You’d hate it.”
“I wouldn’t hate anything, so long as I was with you.”
Apparently today he was just going to put it all out there.
“Stop it,” Jeni whined. “You’d better get going, Lauren. I think he’s about to recite the poem he wrote about you.”
With a wide smile, Lauren left and Andrew’s eyes followed her as she walked away. Just as she was about to turn the corner, that stocky blond nurse came up behind her. He seemed to whisper something in Lauren’s ear, and Andrew’s hands gripped the arms of his chair.
Lauren turned and took a step backward. She glanced in Andrew’s direction for a split second, then back at the guy. She gestured to the exit and moved to walk away, but he must have said something else, because Lauren slowly twisted toward him once more.
Her cheeks were flushed, but in a completely different way than they had been just moments before with Andrew. She looked pissed. They spoke back and forth, and the guy gave her a slow, theatrical nod, bringing to mind a villain in an action film, contemplating his next move.
Andrew didn’t like what he was seeing, but he felt helpless to do anything about it. They were in a room full of people, and Lauren and the nurse were just talking. If the dude put a hand on her, Andrew would be out of his chair and across the room in two seconds flat.
Surely the guy wasn’t that stupid.
After a few more words—heated ones, by the looks of it—Lauren finally made her escape, glancing once more at Andrew before she disappeared.
Andrew stared at the male nurse, who suddenly turned his head and made eye contact with him. A smug grin spread across the guy’s face before he walked off.
Andrew frowned.
What the fuck was that?
…
Two weeks later, Andrew dropped his dumbbells onto the weight rack.
“I’m out, man,” he called out.
“Already?” Logan looked up from his crouched position near the bench press.
“I’m spent.” He hated that, and hated saying it out loud even more. Especially at the gym, when his regular workout buddies were around. They’d noticed the change in his physique and energy level, not to mention his lack of hair, and Andrew had eventually told them what was going on. They were good guys and were supportive, but he still hated appearing sick and weak. The fatigue worsened with each cycle, and it wasn’t just for a few days anymore. He was tired all the time.
Logan stood. “Need anything?”
“Nah. I’m heading home. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay. See ya.”
Andrew drove home and crashed on his couch for a few hours, a textbook open in his lap. Right when he thought he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, his phone dinged.
Lauren: Hi.
Andrew perked up immediately. She’d never texted him first. Plus, she’d been distant in the two weeks since his last chemo treatment, and he’d been miserable. He’d been concerned after seeing her talking to that nurse but had decided not to ask her about it. What if there was something going on between them? If there was, was it even Andrew’s business? She wasn’t his girlfriend, and he had no right to question her.
He also worried he had been too forward that day, too honest about the way he felt…and with Jeni there to hear it all. Though he’d kind of thought it would make Lauren feel better that there was a witness. To ensure he kept to his word and didn’t act on his constant desire to pull her into his arms and kiss her.
Andrew: Hey you.
Lauren: Chemo tomorrow?
Andrew: Yep. Second to last one. *fist pump*
Lauren: That’s great. I’m going to Children’s on Saturday, but in the afternoon. Did you want to come?
Andrew hadn’t been b
ack as a volunteer since that first day with Lauren. It had gotten to him more than he thought it would, and he’d made excuses to avoid going. But he’d thought about Jasmine a lot and wanted to try again.
Andrew: Yes. What time?
Lauren: I’ll pick you up at 1:45.
Andrew: Sounds good. You doing okay? Haven’t talked to you much.
Lauren: I know, sorry. I’m good. I’ll see you Saturday, okay?
Did that mean he wouldn’t be seeing her tomorrow at the cancer center? He hoped not, but he didn’t want to push it. He’d be with her Saturday, and he’d take what he could get.
Andrew: Yeah, see you Saturday.
It started to snow as he stood outside waiting for her, and she picked him up at exactly a quarter till two. When the first few minutes were strained with an air of awkwardness, Andrew said, “Do we need to talk about my bowel movements? Will that loosen things up between us?”
Lauren laughed so hard, Andrew had to reach over and take the steering wheel to keep them on the road.
“Don’t do that,” she chastised, still giggling. “Not while I’m driving, and it’s snowing.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said with a smile. “I didn’t think you’d find it so funny. You have asked about that before, you know.” In a more serious tone, he asked, “Is everything okay? You’ve seemed…different these last two weeks.”
Her laughter slowed, and she looked…guilty? Ashamed? He wasn’t certain. “You noticed, huh?”
He lifted an eyebrow to say, Hell yes, I noticed.
“I’m sorry. I just…” she trailed off.
“Did I say something to upset you? Scare you off? If I did, I’m sorry. I just figured we both know what’s going on here and how we feel. Even though we can’t do anything about it, we might as well be honest—”
“I disagree.”
He frowned. “With which part?”
“Verbalizing how we feel about each other makes it that much harder to keep things under control.” She halted and swallowed, like she was hesitant to continue.
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