“Um, Will was…my first, and when I realized it meant nothing to him, I was devastated. After that I thought maybe I’d wait until I was married, because then I’d know I wasn’t being used, and that the man I was with wanted me for more than my body.” She shrugged and added, “Or my chemistry skills.”
Andrew shot up to a sitting position. “Are you fucking kidding me?” His jaw went taut, and he swung his legs off the edge of the bed, his back to her. “I’m going to kill that son-of-a—”
“Andrew,” Lauren put a gentle hand on his back, where the muscles were bunched and tense. “Don’t worry about that; I was just trying to explain why I’m waiting now.”
“Don’t worry about it?” he bit out. He stood, flexing his fingers. “I’m so pissed I can’t see straight.”
Lauren scrambled to the edge of the bed and got up on her knees. She grabbed his hand and pulled him close to her, turning his body to face her. His face was like stone.
“Look at me,” she said, and he did. “Don’t let that bother you. I’m over it, okay? I learned something from it. And now I have you, and you’re better than anything I could have ever imagined.”
Andrew’s expression softened marginally, and he put one hand on her hip. “It bothers me. I can’t help it.”
She kissed him once and said, “I don’t want to think about Will anymore. It’s Valentine’s Day, and I’m with the man I love.”
Still on her knees, with him standing at the edge of the bed, their faces were almost level. She pressed herself against him, moving his arms to circle her waist. He looked down at her with heavy-lidded eyes, but the muscles in his cheek remained clenched.
Lauren dipped her head to kiss the hollow of his throat, then moved her lips to his earlobe. “Andrew,” she whispered, feeling a tremor run through him. “Aren’t I supposed to be your distraction?”
All at once, his body relaxed, and he nodded. He dropped his head to her shoulder, tightening his embrace. “Distract me.”
…
The next morning, Lauren searched for any plausible reason she might need to be in the infusion center around the same time as Andrew’s appointment. She searched her current patient roster and found one she’d needed to call and check in with, anyway.
She took the back stairwell and wove her way through several occupied infusion chairs. Before seeking out either of the patients she hoped to see, she turned down a short hallway just off the infusion suite for a cup of coffee.
When she came out of the empty break room she almost had a repeat of her first meeting with Andrew. She caught herself just short of colliding with a large male chest, but this one belonged to Gavin.
“Whoa. Hey, Lauren.” Gavin grabbed her by the upper arms. He flashed white teeth in a cocky grin.
Be nice. “Hey, Gavin.”
She backed out of his grip and moved to slide past him, but he put a hand on her elbow.
“Hey, can we talk for a second?”
Lauren glanced around the hallway. They were alone. She hadn’t forgotten about the last time he cornered her, making accusations about her and Andrew’s relationship, and she didn’t want anyone to overhear. “About what?”
“I wanted to say I’m sorry. About the last time we talked, and calling you unprofessional. You’re great with our patients and have made a big difference here at the cancer center.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I think it’s pretty obvious I like you. I have since the start, and I think I was jealous. I acted like an asshole, and I’m sorry.”
Something inside Lauren told her not to trust him, but when she met his ice blue gaze, it surprised her to find he looked sincere. “I appreciate that. Apology accepted.”
“I know I messed up, but I really would like the chance to take you out.” He angled his body, forcing her to take a step back, and her left shoulder hit the wall. “Please? Would you give me a chance to get to know you, and show you I really am a nice guy?”
Lauren felt a little like she was caged in, and she didn’t like it. She tried to step to the right, but he blocked her. He put a hand against the wall near her head, his thick, veiny forearm at eye level.
“There’s something between us,” he said in a low voice. He reached up with his other hand and rubbed a section of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. Nausea swirled in her stomach. “There’s no way I’m the only one who feels it.”
Lauren straightened her spine and batted his hand away. “I’m sorry, Gavin, but there’s nothing here. I’m not playing games with you, I’m just not interested.” Lauren tried to keep her voice firm, but her pitch kept rising, which happened when she was nervous or uncomfortable.
“But we’d be so good together,” Gavin continued, crowding even closer to her.
Lauren looked him right in the eye. “Gavin, you’re the one being unprofessional. Please move and don’t ask me out again.”
A new voice came from the end of the hallway. “You heard her. Back the fuck up before I put you on the ground.”
Chapter Eighteen
Gavin twisted around and Lauren’s head jerked to the end of the hallway, where Andrew stood with his legs planted, one slightly in front of the other, his arms at his sides. He took a deep breath and tried to stay calm, but one wrong move on that asshole’s part and Andrew would lose his shit.
He and Jeni had been headed to Mandi’s section for his treatment. Andrew had to stop in the restroom, and on his way back through the infusion center, he thought he heard Lauren’s voice. His heart had leapt because he’d missed her this morning, and he wanted to see her.
When he’d turned down the short hallway in the back corner of the infusion center, the scene in front of him had made him see red. The woman he loved stood with her back against the wall, her beautiful face pale and her posture tense. A man hovered over her, one arm appearing to block her exit, the other touching her hair, and his head bent close to hers.
Too damn close.
Images of Isla’s injuries flashed through his mind—photographs of bruises and lacerations, proof of the things a man could do to a woman when he wanted control and possession.
Andrew didn’t understand the desire to control this woman, but he sure as hell wanted to protect her. If anyone tried to hurt her, they’d have to get through him first.
Gavin wasn’t stupid and did as he was told. “Relax, buddy. We’re just talking.”
Andrew took three purposeful steps forward.
Gavin remained where he was, having given Lauren space but still within arm’s reach.
The adrenaline coursing through Andrew’s body clouded his vision, and he held his jaw so tight the muscles burned. “The hell it isn’t. If I ever hear about you bothering her again—”
“Andrew,” Lauren said, widening her eyes at him. He stopped short at her tone and turned his head in her direction. Don’t, she mouthed.
Gavin looked between them. “There is something going on between you two, isn’t there?”
Andrew crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Fuck off.”
Lauren closed her eyes and sighed.
Gavin smirked. “Got it. Well, good for you two.” He looked at Andrew. “Sorry I stepped on your toes, dude. I didn’t know.”
Andrew’s arms twitched with the need to grab the guy and shove him against the wall. He focused on taking measured breaths and rolled his shoulders. “It’s not my feet I’m worried about. It was pretty clear she was saying no before I happened to walk by. I suggest you move on, now and for good.”
Gavin raised his eyebrows and made a slight bow before he sauntered off. The slight grin on his face concerned Andrew, but he had something more important to focus on right now. He went to Lauren immediately. “Are you okay?”
“Why did you do that?” she snapped.
His head jerked back. “Seriously? He was basically forcing himself on y
ou.”
“There are fifty people right outside the hallway. He wouldn’t have done anything, and I was handling it.”
“You were handling it? Is that why he had his hand on you, touching your hair? That asshole doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as you.” Andrew moved closer to her, a fire consuming his entire being. Despite her angry tone, she swayed toward him, her green eyes locked on his. Her body language, the opposite of what he’d seen in response to Gavin standing near her, encouraged him to surge on. “That’s my hair he was stroking. My breath he was stealing. You’re not the only territorial one here, Lauren.”
Her face softened, but then she lifted a hand and rubbed her eyes. “He’s a petty man, Andrew. He’s the last person I wanted to find out about us. When I thought your chemo was done I kind of let my guard down, but now that you need more treatment…” She shook her head. “Just to be a jerk he could report me, and my job could be in jeopardy. You can’t go around making a scene like that here.”
Andrew gently cupped a hand around her elbow. “I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know we still needed to be so careful, but no one else was even around.” His eyes searched hers, back and forth. A thick strand of her vibrant hair fell across her shoulder, and he thought of Gavin’s fingers touching it. “Actually, no. I’m sorry for how I went about it, but I won’t apologize for stepping in to defend you. I’ll always do that, no matter what.”
“I don’t need you to protect me. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing things on my own my whole life.”
He slid his hand down her arm to take her hand. “But now you don’t have to. I’m here.”
She yanked her hand back. “I don’t need you, don’t you understand? I want you, Andrew. But I don’t need you.”
Wow.
Andrew felt that like a punch in the gut, and he swayed back a few inches. “You don’t need me,” he repeated.
“What I need is to keep my job here, so I don’t end up back in Oklahoma at a job I’ll hate. And you may have just ruined that.”
Indignation flared alongside his earlier anger, which hadn’t faded. “It takes two to do what we’ve been doing, you know,” he pointed out. “And if you’re so good at handling things on your own, why would you ever work for your dad? If you hate the idea so much, and know you won’t be happy, why would you allow yourself to be manipulated into going back? I’m clearly not the only man trying to be a part of your life. But I’m damn sure the only one who cares about your happiness.”
“If you cared about my happiness, you wouldn’t have potentially gotten me fired!”
Andrew scrubbed a hand down his face. “Lauren, I walked past and saw you against the wall, looking scared, with a man over you. Touching you. Not moving an inch when you asked him to back away. The only thought in my head was to get him away from you, and there was nothing in that moment that could have stopped me. Nothing. If you lose your job because of what I did, I’ll feel terrible, and I’ll do whatever I can to make it right. There’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults seeing each other, even if I am a patient here. I’d never intentionally do anything to hurt you, surely you know that.”
Lauren blinked, her expression unreadable. “Look, I have to go. I have a patient to see, and then I need to find Emma. See if she thinks I need to tell Dr. Hawthorne what happened.”
He let out a heavy breath. “Seriously? You’re walking away from me right now?”
“We’ll talk later.”
He opened his mouth to say more, but Lauren brushed past him, the familiar scent of her shampoo flooding his heightened senses. She didn’t look back and disappeared around the corner.
Alone in the dim hallway, Andrew pressed a palm against his temple. He made his way back through the infusion center, finding Jeni settled in for the several-hour treatment.
“You okay?” she asked. “You were gone a long time.”
No. “I’m fine.”
Andrew thought of nothing else during his treatment. By the time he got home late in the afternoon, he’d nearly worked himself into a state of panic. His body had never felt this on edge. He was so consumed with thoughts of Lauren that it was several hours before he realized what he was feeling was more than anxiety.
Fear took over. He called Lauren, but she didn’t answer. He tried his sister, and she answered on the third ring.
“Jeni? Something’s wrong.”
…
Andrew lay there, waiting. Taking in the white walls and sheets and the embarrassingly thin white hospital gown he was wearing.
His chest felt tight, like someone’s fist was squeezing his lungs. He alternated breathing through his mouth and nose, but one didn’t seem better than the other. His heart beat furiously in his chest, and he wasn’t sure if that was from nerves or because something was seriously wrong. Maybe both.
Jeni sat in the mauve chair to the right of the hospital bed, perched on the edge, her knees bouncing up and down. He’d begged her not to call their family until they knew what was wrong, and as far as he knew she’d complied. He had heard her call Lauren, though.
So he waited.
He didn’t have to for much longer. Only a few more minutes passed before the door opened and Lauren tentatively peeked her head in. Her eyes found Andrew, propped up in the bed, the sheet up to his waist. Her eyes swept his entire body, like she was looking for physical evidence of something, and then came back to his. She walked completely into the room and closed the door behind her.
She wore a hooded KU sweatshirt and her hair was piled on top of her head, and he wanted nothing more than to get up and go to her and tug her into his arms. She looked so familiar and comforting, and he willed her to come closer to him. He wasn’t sure if she was still upset with him, though, so he said nothing.
Maybe it would help that he was in the hospital. It would get him a pity kiss at least, surely.
Lauren addressed Jeni. “What do we know?”
“They said it could either be a blood clot, pneumonia, or a side effect from one of his chemo drugs.”
Lauren nodded. “Bleomycin. It can cause pulmonary toxicity.” She shot a glare in Andrew’s direction—what was that for?—and then returned her gaze back to Jeni. “Have they done a chest X-ray yet? A CT scan? Did they start any medications?”
“They did a lot of tests and took some blood. That’s it.”
At that moment the door opened, almost hitting Lauren in the back. She darted to the side, and the nurse taking care of Andrew walked in. The nurse took Andrew’s vitals for what felt like the thousandth time since he’d been here, and Lauren sat in a chair against the wall.
“The CT was clear, so no blood clot,” the nurse said. When Andrew didn’t reply, she added, “That’s a good thing.”
He nodded, forcing himself to tear his gaze away from Lauren and focus on the nurse. She was an older woman, with long gray hair pulled back, and a stern countenance. “Great.” He took a breath. He was so short of breath, he had difficulty saying more than a few words at a time. “What…now?”
“We’re still waiting on some other test results, which will probably be another hour.” She finished taking his blood pressure and pulse and made some notes on the laptop she’d brought in with her. “When we have more information the on-call physician will be in to talk to you. Until then, can I get you anything?”
Andrew shook his head and thanked her, and she left.
He looked at Lauren. “Come here.”
He was desperate for contact with her. He felt terrible that his actions may have put her job at risk, but he’d meant what he said—he’d do it again every time. There was no way he’d let that jackass talk to her like that or bully her into going out with him.
Andrew hadn’t bullied her. He’d tricked her.
Huge difference.
She stood and came to his bedside. Her moss colored ey
es were filled with tears, and her chin trembled. He lifted his hand and she took it immediately, a tear spilling over and sliding down her cheek.
“Jeni,” he began, able to get only a few words out between breaths. “Make…yourself scarce, will you?” He paused and winked at Lauren. “She doesn’t…need to see us…making out.”
“There won’t be any making out,” Lauren countered.
“That’s…debatable.”
“I’m definitely leaving.” Jeni stood with a huff. She eyed him sternly. “You have twenty minutes.”
When the door closed behind her, Andrew tugged on Lauren’s hand, and she sat on the bed, her hip curving into his side.
“You’re so…beautiful,” he began, every few words punctuated with an inhale, “you take…my breath away.”
“That’s the bleomycin.”
He shook his head. “It’s…you.”
Another tear fell, and he reached up with his opposite hand to wipe it away with his thumb. “Don’t cry. I’m…fine.”
She took a stuttered breath. “It’s the bleomycin. It has to be. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” Her eyes clamped shut with frustration, and she shook her head. “Yesterday, you were coughing at dinner, and when we were watching the documentary, I noticed you were breathing hard.” She opened her eyes and regarded him, her cheeks reddening. “Like a complete idiot, a self-absorbed idiot, I thought it was because of me. I can’t believe I didn’t even think about it…I…” She started to cry in earnest.
“Please…stop,” Andrew begged. He reached for her and pulled her against his chest. “Don’t cry.”
She wedged herself into the single bed with him, and he held her, kissing her hair, her forehead, her eyelids…wherever he could reach.
“Why didn’t you say anything? Tell me you were having symptoms?” She sniffled. “I told you this could happen and that it was important to catch it early!”
“You did?”
She glared at him. “You really did not listen to a word I said that day, did you?”
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