Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC Book 4)

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Secret Desires (Roughshod Rollers MC Book 4) Page 19

by Mia Ford


  “It didn’t feel right to have a movie day without you,” I admit.

  She smiles again, pleased.

  “We might need to run out for popcorn, though,” I add. “Lily and I ate the rest of it yesterday.”

  “We can go down to the store later,” Georgia says, stretching. She laughs. “I think you still have your weekly shopping to do, anyway. Do you want me to help with that?”

  “Sounds great,” I say.

  We’ve always been this domestic. We really have been in a relationship for years. No wonder all my friends tease me.

  “Well, I’m going to have a shower,” Georgia says, pulling herself to her feet. “Then we can go down to the store after you’ve had one.”

  “Do we need to stop by your place for fresh clothes?” I ask.

  “No,” she says with a laugh. “I’ve always got some clean clothes here.”

  I laugh too. Georgia pretty much lives here most of the time. I watch as she walks away, her hips swaying as she winks at me over her shoulder. I listen as she grabs some clothes out of the spare room and, when the bathroom door closes behind her, I sigh and slump back against the couch.

  I’m still worried about what will happen next. I don’t think I’ll stop worrying about that for a long time. Too much happened with Polly for me to not wonder about the worst-case scenarios, where Georgia and I could break up and fall apart for good, or where this can’t work out because of how much has already happened between us.

  But, that’s okay. I can do this. I’ve decided that I can. I don’t know if everything will work out the way we want it to…but, if I do this with Georgia, everything is definitely going to be okay.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ethan

  When Georgia is gone, I get up and stretch. My muscles are still aching pleasantly, and I quickly slip back into my sleep pants. I search around for my shirt before remembering that it’s still in the kitchen. I wander in there, laughing softly at the sight of both my shirt and the robe Georgia was wearing in heaps on the ground, our full cups of coffee still on the table, untouched. I nudge one of the mugs, feeling how it’s already lukewarm.

  I don’t feel like coffee anymore, so I head to the fridge and fish out a can of cola, needing to feel the burn of the fizzy drink in my dry throat. I take a few gulps of it before putting it down on the table and scooping up my shirt so I can shrug it back on. Then I pick up the robe.

  As I do, something chimes from the pocket. Curious, I stick my hand into the pocket and pull out Georgia’s phone. She must have slipped it into the robe when she left my room this morning. The screen is lit up and I can see it’s a message from her boss.

  “I need an answer about that job soon.”

  I raise an eyebrow. It’s not like Georgia to put off answering an assignment. What sort of story could she have been asked to do that she’s hesitating in accepting it? I’m about to put her phone down, deciding to ask her about it when she gets out of the shower, when the phone chimes again with another message.

  “I know moving is a big thing, but…”

  The message cuts off there, only giving me a preview. I freeze, staring at those words for a long moment, until the screen goes dark, not sure what they mean. Moving? As in, leaving her house?

  What sort of job, exactly, is her boss asking her about?

  I turn the phone on again. But I hesitate before I unlock it; this is an invasion of privacy. Yes, Georgia and I use each other’s phones all the time, and I know her password as well as she knows mine. But this is something she hasn’t spoken to me about. How would I feel if she snooped and found out my current problems with Polly, which I haven’t told her about yet?

  But…

  My heart is beating fast. I need to know. Why is her boss talking about moving?

  What sort of job does he need an answer about?

  I unlock the phone and find her messages before I can second guess myself. There aren’t many there; Georgia told me once that her boss didn’t really like texting too much. But there are a few messages since last week, the first with Georgia asking if she can have just a little more time to consider the job because of a family emergency.

  That would be me, right? She sent that message on the Sunday after she found me drunk with Polly’s letter. She put some sort of decision off because of my problems, yet again. Her boss told her it was fine.

  Then, three days later, he sends her an attachment.

  The message underneath says, “These are the job details. And here’s the link to the application they want you to fill out, just in case.”

  There’s a link underneath, already purple to indicate that Georgia has clicked on it and read through it.

  I stare at it. If I open it, I’ll know what it’s all about. But I don’t know if I really want to know. It somehow feels like knowing will change everything.

  But Georgia has put this off for me. She’s put her life on hold, again, because she felt that she needed to look after me. Hesitantly, I press on the attachment. It opens immediately, and I scan it quickly. It’s full of a lot of jargon that I don’t understand.

  But I understand the location, which is New Jersey. I understand the talk about a maternity leave position. And I understand the words “Looking for an experienced employee to transfer to the main office – please recommend someone.”

  Georgia has been put forward for a promotion at her work. The main branch of her newspaper wants her to go and work in the much larger office, where she will get bigger stories and meet more important people.

  And she’s put this off? The message Georgia’s boss just sent spoke about moving. If Georgia took this job, she would definitely have to move; it would be too far to commute each day.

  I feel sick. Has Georgia put off making a decision about this because of Lily and me?

  This is Georgia’s life. She’s worked so hard at her job, and I love reading her articles; she’s good at what she does. Receiving a promotion like this is amazing. It would really make her career take off, which is exactly what she deserves.

  Yet…I already know, as I stare at it, that all hope that she might take this job has disappeared with what has happened between us. There’s no way Georgia will consider taking this promotion now she’s finally gotten me right where she’s always wanted me; with her.

  Yet she never said no. That means there’s a part of her that does want this job. Why wouldn’t she? This is huge!

  This is hers.

  I swallow the lump in my throat. I suddenly remember that Saturday night when I was drunk. Georgia had come in, calling that she wanted to talk to me about something. Was she going to tell me about the job? Maybe she had even decided to take it, right until the point that she found me moping about Polly.

  Shit… What do I do?

  I shouldn’t do anything, I know. This isn’t my business. But I also can’t ask Georgia to keep putting her life on hold for me. What’s between Georgia and I, right now, is very new, despite how long we’ve been best friends. We don’t know for certain that this new dynamic is going to work between us. What if we don’t work out? Then Georgia might end up regretting not taking the job.

  Maybe we could try long distance? I snort. Georgia refused to leave me even when she thought I’d never love her back. There’s no way she’d move now that she knows that I do.

  I don’t want to try and make decisions for her. But I don’t want to hold her back. I want her to live her life, get the promotions she deserves. She shouldn’t have to be tied so tightly to a little girl that isn’t hers and a father that’s still traumatized from a past relationship. That isn’t right.

  I just wish I knew what to do now.

  I look up. Georgia is still in the shower. I turn her phone off; she’s going to notice that those messages have been looked at when she finds them, and she’s going to know it was me. Maybe I should just confront her about it?

  Then another message comes through, again from her boss.

  I don’
t look at it this time. That message will cover up what I’ve done. I slip the phone back in to the pocket of the robe and sit back in my chair, running a rough hand through my hair.

  I can’t make any decisions about this right now. I’ll finish today off; Georgia and I will go shopping, and then she’ll come around for movie night with Lily and I. She’ll probably go home after, since she needs to go to work tomorrow.

  And then?

  I don’t know. I groan and close my eyes. Why does everything have to be so damn complicated? It really isn’t fair.

  Then, from the kitchen counter where I left it on charge earlier, before I took Lily to school, my phone rings.

  “What now?” I grumble; so much for an amazing day.

  And, of course, it’s Polly, exactly what I needed to make all this even worse than it already is. I’m half tempted to ignore the phone call. But then she’ll just try to call again, and next time Georgia will be with me.

  I sigh and answer it.

  “Hello?” I say reluctantly.

  “Ethan, it’s Polly,” Polly says. “I was hoping to organize something on the weekend?”

  I stamp down on the flare of anger that rises in me. She has a real nerve to call me and request to see my daughter while she’s planning on stabbing me in the back. I grit my teeth.

  “We have plans on Saturday,” I say. “We’re going to the carnival that’s come into town.”

  “Oh,” Polly says, sounding unimpressed. “Who is going?”

  “Lily, Georgia and I,” I say.

  Maybe, anyway. Depending on how things go between Georgia and I, the carnival might not happen, after all.

  “Georgia?” Polly says, disapproving. “I see. What about Sunday?”

  No, I don’t want Polly around here. I’m still trying to work out what to do about Georgia so that she doesn’t try and put her life on hold for me, and I have no clue what to do about Polly and the legal problems she’s about to bring to my door.

  “Lily has a friend’s party,” I lie.

  “I see.” Polly hums in thought. “Why don’t I come to the carnival with you?”

  “That’s probably not a good idea,” I say through gritted teeth. “Georgia is coming. The last time the two of you were in the same room wasn’t pretty.”

  “Then uninvite Georgia,” Polly says simply.

  I gape, incredulous at her audacity.

  “Georgia was the one that invited Lily and I to the carnival,” I say coldly. “So, no, that’s not possible. Lily is very excited about it, so we’re not canceling.”

  “The weekend is the only time I get to see Lily,” Polly protests.

  “So we’ll have to try for next weekend, then,” I snap. “Though, if you keep trying to manipulate me, you’ll be lucky if I let you come around again!”

  Damn, I said too much. Polly goes quiet.

  “What does that mean?” She asks slowly.

  I sigh. I should have confronted her on the weekend, but Lily was there and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind.

  “I came to see where you were, while you were on the phone,” I say. “I overheard part of your conversation with your husband.”

  “What part?” Polly asks, sounding outraged.

  What right does she have to be angry? At least it was an accident that I overheard her. She, on the other hand, is actively sneaking around my back to take my daughter from me!

  “The part where you’re planning on removing custody from me, using the lie you told your fucking parents when you left me,” I snap.

  “I can’t believe you were listening in on a private conversation!” Polly shouts.

  “Don’t give me that!” I say. “When were you going to tell me that the only reason you’ve decided to come back into my life is to remove Lily from me? Where the hell do you get the right after you’re the one who abandoned us for ten fucking years?”

  “First, I didn’t plan on removing Lily from you at first, I just wanted to see my daughter,” Polly says coldly. “But then I saw that damn jacket, and I knew I needed to take her.”

  “What jacket?” I demanded.

  “Your gang jacket,” Polly hisses.

  For a moment, I don’t know what she’s talking about. But then I remember the Roughshod Rollers jacket that hangs up by the front door.

  “I’m not part of a gang!” I say, shocked.

  “Just like you weren’t part of a gang before I left you,” Polly snorts. “I remember that friend of yours that went to jail for murder. And those two that committed robbery? Yeah, definitely not a gang, Ethan. You wanted to know why I left you? The whole thing about the post-natal depression was true. But I didn’t trust you anymore! You hung around with those sorts of people, and, apparently, you didn’t learn your lesson!”

  “I had no idea what those guys were going to do,” I snap. “And the Roughshod Rollers is just a group of guys that own motorbikes. We meet up at the bar sometimes, and we’re renovating a fucking house for the authorities. We’re not a gang.”

  “I don’t believe you,” Polly snarls. “Lily doesn’t deserve to be in that kind of environment, and you don’t deserve to have her if you’re going to put her in that sort of danger. I’m taking my daughter, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

  She hangs up. Frozen, I listen to the dial tone, my shoulders tense. Fuck, now what?

  But…

  I take in a deep breath and slowly put my phone down. I walk over to the table and pick up my cola, draining it in several deep gulps. Distantly, I hear the shower switch off, Georgia humming as she finishes her shower.

  Something doesn’t feel right.

  If Polly was that scared of me being in a “gang” ten years ago, then why didn’t she just tell everyone that instead of feeding them a stupid story about abuse? And why didn’t she take Lily with her at the time if she was that worried about my character?

  No. Something is very wrong here. I narrow my eyes. Polly is lying.

  I pick up my phone again. I hadn’t wanted to involve him, just in case we ended up catching the attention of a powerful councilor, but it’s too late. There’s nothing more I can do on my own, and that councilor has already set his eyes on both me and my daughter. I need help.

  The phone rings twice before it picks up.

  “Howard Detective Agency,” the man at the other end answers.

  “Alex,” I greet. “It’s Ethan Martin. Do you have a moment?”

  “Of course,” Alex says primly. Then he coughs. “How likely is this to get me in trouble? Grant still hasn’t completely forgiven me for what happened with Jessica.”

  “Er…” I wince. “We’re going up against my ex-wife, who is now married to a councilor in Newark.”

  “Great,” Alex mutters. “You guys always bring me the most wonderful cases.”

  “I’ll pay you,” I promise. “I’m sorry, Alex, but this is really important.” I swallow. “She’s trying to take Lily from me.”

  I hear a sharp intake of breath.

  “What can I do?” he asks immediately.

  “I don’t really know,” I admit. “I just spoke to her; she claims she left me because I was apparently part of a gang, and now believes that I’m part of another one because of the Roughshod Rollers. She’s using that as her excuse, but it doesn’t feel right. She also told everyone, ten years ago, that she left me because I was abusing her.”

  “Are you serious?” Alex asks, incredulous.

  “Yeah,” I say with a grimace. “I just need something to make her back off, I think. She and her husband, who knows the truth about her lies, from what I heard, are putting together a case, and I need to stop her before it gets to court because…because I’m pretty sure I’ll lose, even if I can prove she abandoned us.”

  “Shit,” Alex says. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. Is there anyone else who knows the truth?”

  “Her psychologist,” I say. “But there’s confidentiality issues there, isn’t there?”

&nb
sp; “There’s more than one way to fix things, ways that don’t involve courts,” Alex says grimly. “You can’t use any information you get from the psychologist against her, not without damaging that psychologist’s reputation, but…” He clears his throat. “Leave it with me, I have an idea. Do you know the psychologist’s name?”

  “Sorry,” I wince.

  “That makes it harder, but not impossible,” Alex says darkly. “We’ll stop her, don’t worry.”

  The tight ball of stress in my chest diminishes. I should have called Alex as soon as I overheard Polly, after all.

  “Thanks,” I say roughly.

  “I’ll call you in the next few days,” Alex says. “Now that she knows that you know, she might try to speed things up, but they’ll still be busy collecting information for a while. I’ll do what I can as quickly as possible.”

  “Thank you,” I reply. “This means a lot.”

  “I’m not going to let her take Lily from you, Ethan,” Alex says seriously. “You’re an amazing father, and you’ve been through enough hardships.”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat.

  “I’ll call soon,” Alex adds before I can say anything. “Stay strong.”

  He hangs up. I close my eyes briefly and, for the first time since yesterday, I feel some hope that I can fight Polly on this, that I’ll get to keep custody of my daughter.

  “Who was that?”

  I swing around. Georgia, her hair wet and in fresh clothes, is leaning against the door, staring at me.

  “Alex,” I say casually. “Just wanted to talk about the renovations.”

  “Ah,” Georgia says, nodding. She grins at me. “Go have a shower and then we’ll go.”

  I manage to smile at her. She nudges me with her shoulder and winks at me as I walk past. Now that I have a possible solution for Polly, I need to turn my mind to Georgia.

  What do I do about her?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Georgia

  Three days later, after I left Ethan’s house following the movie night, feeling light and happy and hopeful, I haven’t heard a single word from Ethan.

 

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