by Dave Hazel
“That would not be good for us,” Towbar said and nodded in agreement. “However, Lanorear said the army will not do much fighting at night due to the fact they control the lands. There are strange creatures that lurk during the dark. Thus, they would make their own army vulnerable to the strange creatures of the night.”
“Well, we should get with Diaz and Finley and see if they wanna continue moving while it gets dark or see if they wanna try to find a place to set up camp. What about you Towbar? Do you wanna keep going or do you think we should set up a camp before it gets too dark.”
“My friend, I am with you and I will agree with whatever you desire,” the giant said and eyed the opposite side of the river. “When I say that, I want you to understand my trust is in the ability of your men. They are great warriors and I know your men will not be slack in their duties when they are on watch through the hours of darkness when normal men would struggle to remain awake and alert.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that.”
“I have learned much since we have been together my friend. You and your men have taught me much about warfare and battles. I have been highly fascinated with the ability of your soldiers to stay awake during the struggle of darkness when one’s eyelids seemed to be weighed down with boulders. As you know, where we live there is not much threat from our enemy to attack during the hours of darkness thus the need to train for such tasks would be minimal. A night time attack would be rare to say the least.”
“My men are professionals,” Mykal said and felt a twinge of guilt. Mykal never displayed the same type of professionalism during his days as an Air Force Security Policeman. Sure he could stay awake and keep guard all night, but he never once showed the dedication and determination to be a true military soldier back in his world. He was ever so grateful his Marines and Army personnel were true professional soldiers who lived for their job in the military where as his time in the military he was just looking for the easy pay check.
“Yes, they are,” Towbar said with a broad smile.
“Hey Mathis,” he called to his radio man who had almost finished his meal. Mathis sat with the Dosch brothers and the reporter team of Vick Daring and Ben Milnar. “As soon as you’re done with your meal, call Diaz and tell him I’m gonna come up to his location to talk about what we’re gonna do for the night.”
“Will do Myk,” Mathis replied after taking his last bite. “I’m finished right now anyway.”
“Mykal, do you want us to come with you?” Roy Jr. asked.
“It’s up to you. I’m just going to find out what he wants to do for the night. I don’t like the idea of camping out on the beach and I don’t know how much longer we’re gonna be in this gorge before we can get topside.”
All the men in Mykal’s area seemed to get called into action. “Are we leaving?” Private First Class Flesch asked and moved to pick up his M-60 machine gun which caused a chain reaction among the Dwarves and Towbar’s men who were there to assist in carrying the many cans of ammunition.
“No, no,” Mykal said and couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of how everyone jumped at his every word and action. “You guys can sit tight and relax till I know what we’re doing. Just keep your eyes open,” he added while he and Towbar walked away followed by Roy Jr. and Randy. “They act like I’m a big shot or something,” Mykal whispered quietly to Towbar and laughed again with self-deprecating humor.
“You are, my friend,” Towbar said and gave a confirming smile since he understood ‘Mykal’s’ definition of that term.
“Yeah Myk,” Randy agreed with him. “You’re what our granddaddy would call the bees knees.”
“Bees knees? What the hell is that?”
“I’m not sure of the meaning,” Roy Jr. answered first. “But our grandpaw would always say that about something that he thought was good or what we thought was cool. So I know it’s something positive cuz our old granddaddy never said anything bad about anybody. If he didn’t like ya, he just didn’t say anything.”
“I wish some people would be like that today,” Randy said and nodded in agreement with his brother.
Mykal and those with him walked past the men spread out who were seated on the ground finishing their meal as part of the break they took. Mykal saw Captain Diaz and Lieutenant Finley standing away from the men speaking with Starling, Leeno and Blair.
“So how you doin’?” Mykal asked Diaz. “Are you still okay?” He asked and looked at Diaz’s bandaged wrist in reference to the venomous snake bite he received.
“I’m fine Myk. Honest,” Diaz said with a happy laugh. “I’m telling you, Almighty God has protected me from that poison. My arm hurts a little where the puncture wounds are, but I’ll heal up pretty good,” he added and unconsciously rubbed the bandage over the wound. “I serve a faithful God. I’m His servant and he protects me.”
Mykal wanted to ask Diaz, ‘if your God protects you, why did God allow you to get bit in the first place?’ Mykal realized the questioned would have sounded negative and he didn’t mean the question to come across that way so he kept it to himself. He was truly curious to know why and decided he would ask Diaz privately so it wouldn’t sound like an attack.
“Is there something wrong?” Captain Diaz asked when Mykal seemed to make a strange expression.
“No. No, no, we’ll talk later. But, what are we going to do about night approaching? Should we risk camping here knowing they are just on the other side of the river? Or should we risk continuing to travel in the dark to try to get away from them?”
“We are waiting for the return of Lanorear and his clan,” Blair answered.
“Lanorear told us of a cave not far from here,” Leeno said.
“A cave? Would it be big enough for us to stay in it?”
“Lanorear spoke of many caves along these gorge walls,” Starling replied. “There are some caves we would be able to spend the night in.”
“And there are caves that continue through the ground that would lead us from this area,” Blair said as if they had choreographed the discussion ahead of time.
Mykal wanted to laugh and turned to Leeno to see if he would continue the conversation. It seemed that the Elves always knew what the other was about to say and many times they finished each other’s thoughts or ideas. It reminded him of what he had been taught about twins. “Are there dangers in using these caves?”
“I can’t believe you asked that Myk,” Roy Jr. laughed. “When hasn’t there been danger around here?” They all laughed except for the Elves.
“Yeah I know. What the hell was I thinking?” Mykal laughed at himself and the Elves didn’t understand their humor. “Let’s me and you walk away from everyone,” Mykal said so they would know he wanted to talk to Captain Diaz alone.
“Sure Myk. Lieutenant Finley, please get the men moving. We’re going to continue until we meet up with Lanorear and his clan. So what’s on your mind?” He asked when they pulled away from the group so as not to be heard.
Towbar walked with them, and it was clear the giant didn’t know what Mykal wanted.
“It’s not a big deal, but I just didn’t want it to look like I was trying to argue with you in front of the others. When you said that God protected you from that poison why didn’t He just keep you from being bitten by the snake to begin with? And why hasn’t God protected the men from being killed since we have been on this journey all together?”
“Great questions Myk,” Diaz answered and actually looked like he came to life. “I’m so glad you asked me and didn’t hold them inside and then just wondered about it. But as far as me being bitten by that deadly snake, sure God could have easily prevented me from being attacked by that two-step viper or whatever they called it. But then I wouldn’t have known anymore about God than what I already know. It was a time of testing of my faith, and putting my faith and trust into actions. I know God can protect me and keep me safe from the deadly poison and if I would have been saying that, that’s all it would have b
een is just talk. Once I was bitten I could have panicked and freaked out and accused God of not protecting me and whatever else our flesh likes to do when we lose control and things don’t go our way. If I would have responded that way that would have shown my faith isn’t all I claim it to be. But since I did get attacked I was able to put my faith into action and trust that He would protect me like I always believed, and He did!” Diaz exclaimed with joyful excitement. “God did protect me. And the truth of the matter is Myk, since I know I belong to Almighty God, if He would have chosen for me to pass away at that time, I’m okay with that because then I would be going home to be with Him for eternity which honestly is where I want to be. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wanna die just to speed up that process and God definitely doesn’t want us to commit suicide to get home faster because that is a grave sin.”
“Suicide is a sin?” Mykal asked and slightly gulped. He knew some people from his past who took their own lives to escape the torment of their so called ‘miserable existence’. Mykal was also aware that he had been having suicidal thoughts enter his mind since he trapped himself with the use of his magic ring.
“Let me back up what I said with Scripture, because I want to base what I say on God’s Word and not just my opinion. Paul said in Philippians chapter one starting in verse 20, he said, ‘I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.’ In verse 21 he says, ‘For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! 23 I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24 but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.’ That’s from the NIV, a new translation of the Bible that came out I think in 1979. I’ve had that memorized for about a year now. I just love that passage.
“Oh, cool,” Mykal said, but he didn’t really understand what Diaz meant by that. He turned to Towbar who had the same look of uncertainty that Mykal wore.
“See Myk, what the apostle Paul is saying here and this is exactly how I feel as a committed Christian, he’s saying that he hopes he will in no way be ashamed but will always have Christ exalted in his body either in life or death. He says to live is to live in Christ, but to die is even better because then he is with our LORD Jesus in heaven. And if he continues to live in the body it’s fruitful labor for him, because then he can help those who God has put into his life to help them grow. Paul is torn between the two because he desires to depart so he can go to heaven and be with Christ, but it’s more necessary that he stays here in the body, in his flesh on earth, so he can help those around him. That’s exactly how I feel. I would rather go home and be with the LORD, but God has me on a mission while I’m here and I can’t give up on that because of all those around me including you, Towbar, all the men with us and those I will come in contact with down the road.
“Now to answer your question about the snake,” Diaz continued with excitement in his tone. “Since I have never been bitten by a deadly snake before and I know that God can protect me from such poison, God actually showed me more about my relationship with Him than I have ever experienced prior to this. See, I was able to put that faith and trust into action. So though He could have prevented me from coming in contact with that snake, it has actually benefitted me in my faith that I did get bit and He proved Himself to me by the way He miraculously protected me. He proved He is bigger and more powerful than that deadly snake. Does that make sense? Because the way I see it, as I just explained, if I wouldn’t have gotten bitten, I wouldn’t know any more about God than I already know. Because of this and me putting my faith in God I got to grow through this in Him.”
“Yeah, I guess it does when you explain it like that. But you said suicide is a sin?”
“Yes it is. It’s murder. You’re murdering your own body when you commit suicide. How can one ask for forgiveness when one is dead?”
“Oh wow,” Mykal gasped not only because of some thoughts he struggled with over the past few weeks, but he personally knew some people who ended their own lives. “Does that mean they go straight to hell?”
“Stop,” Diaz said with a commanding voice. “I can see by the look on your face you are fearful, maybe of people in your past or people who have been close to you that may have committed suicide.”
“Right, yes.” Mykal nodded vigorously.
“I’m not the Judge. Only God is the Judge. Only God knows the hearts of man. I’m not trying to give an easy out to make someone feel better about those who have committed suicide, but the truth is, I can’t judge and say, ‘well this one went to heaven and this one went to hell,’ because only God knows the heart. I can only lay out the facts of what the Bible says and I can guess what may have happened and the key word there is ‘guess’, because only God knows for sure. Only God knows if someone was mentally unstable and that is His place and He will be the Judge. There is definitely a difference from someone in combat who throws himself on a grenade to save his buddies than someone who kills himself to keep from getting caught in a bad crime. There are so many what ifs, and only God knows. But suicide is murder of self and murder is a sin. Let’s leave that alone for right now because we could spend all day saying, what if this or what if that, and still it comes down to what God Himself judges.”
“You’re right. But Captain Diaz, what about all the guys we’ve lost already. The guys who have died trying to help us on this mission. Why didn’t God protect them?”
“Myk, you know you can call me Ryan, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” Mykal snickered shyly and turned away. “But I really respect you and you’re an officer and I want the men to see that I address you as an officer out of respect.”
“I really appreciate that since you are in fact the leader of our operation.”
“Yeah, but there is no way I could do it without you and Finley and Towbar, and the leaders you have under you like Ratner and Lemon.”
“I think you’re too hard on yourself Myk,” Diaz argued.
“I agree my friend,” Towbar finally spoke. “You are a good leader.”
“I appreciate you guys saying that stuff, but honestly,” Mykal paused and sighed. “The loss of the men is getting to me and it makes me feel like I have no business being in a leadership position.”
“You have to take control of your thoughts and not allow those lying suggestions to get to you,” Captain Diaz said adamantly. “You have to look at all those situations from the proper perspective Myk. You did not tell the enemy to attack us. It was the enemy who killed our people. I could easily do the same thing and blame myself, but then I would make myself ineffective for the men who are depending on us. I will not allow such lying thoughts into my head and you shouldn’t either.”
“Captain Diaz is correct Mykal,” Towbar said.
Mykal looked down at the magic ring on his finger and knew the power of the magic was taking a toll on his mental and emotional make-up. “I know you’re right,” he said with another sigh. “It’s just hard. I asked these men to come along as volunteers and now they will never return. We can’t even take their bodies back for a proper and decent and deserved burial.”
“Mykal, all the men knew the dangers when they signed up. There is not one man here who would blame you, or I, for all that has happened.”
Mykal began to laugh. He was going to say ‘Can you imagine if Captain William Roberts was here?’ William seemed to complain every time Mykal took a breath. But he didn’t want to bring up William’s name. The possibility existed that Captain William Roberts could still be alive. He regretted not killing William when he allowed the Goblins to capture him last month.<
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Diaz and Towbar both looked at Mykal as if he said something they didn’t hear when he started to laugh. “Did I miss something?” Diaz asked.
“No, no no. I was just thinking you’re right. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to my thoughts,” he lied to keep from bringing up William’s name. How he regretted not killing William when he had the chance. Something deep inside told him that would turn out to be a costly mistake. “I allow myself to beat myself up more than the enemy beats me up. I gotta stop,” he said while fingering the ring on his middle finger.
“Captain Diaz, if you don’t mind, I’d like to interrupt,” Finley said as he approached them. Beside him were Ratner and Lemon.
“Sure, sure,” Mykal replied. “I’ll just bring up some of that other stuff later,” he added in reference to his questions concerning the death of the men and why Diaz’s God didn’t prevent their deaths.
“What’s up Gunney?”
“Sir, about two hundred yards out, there is a place that I think would be great to set up camp for the night. The Elf who knows more about this place, Uminair, said it would be great with night approaching. He said the caves are farther away than what he originally thought.”
“I thought the word was to try to camp out in one of the caves?” Diaz asked.
“No Sir, that was one suggestion, but Uminair said that wouldn’t really be a great idea if there really is the threat of being attacked because then we would be trapped. The cave he was talking about when that was first brought up was the caves that would take us under the ground and away from here. Lanorear was in agreement with him. They suggested using the caves to get away from here. From what they explained to me, going through caves to get to the other side would actually be a short cut from us going all along the river to get to where we are headed.”
“I see,” Diaz said and rubbed his chin. “And now they seem to think camping out along the beach is going to be okay?”