by Dave Hazel
“Mykal, maybe we should go back to the Pass right now,” Roy Jr. said while he watched the commotion that took place where several men had to be subdued. “We could go out and kill some of the scum sucking Sosos.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Hell yeah!” Mykal agreed enthusiastically. “But no. I can’t. I gotta go rescue Doninka. Towbar, what if that Zee bastard hurt her? I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to her.”
“Can I interrupt for a moment?” Private First Class Anka asked and he joined them but Mykal continued to ramble on about Doninka’s possible situation. “We need to move on by order of Captain Diaz. Many of the men seemed to have been stung by those white things. It seems if they got stung once, it’s like they were injected with a potent form of drug,” he added and nodded to Mykal. “Those who have been stung more than once are acting out violently. That’s why you’re seeing some of the scuffles. It seems as if one person has been hurt. An Army Ranger Sergeant McPherson pulled a knife and slashed Corporal Brock on the arm because he’s in the 82nd Airborne and not a Ranger. He’s bleeding pretty good, but he’s alright.”
“Did I cause that?” Mykal whimpered when he heard one of the men had become injured. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Mykal said and sniffled as if trying to keep from crying. “All these men are like my boys Towbar,” he whined. “I don’t want these men to get hurt. I can’t deal with it any more. I’m a damned lousy leader. I’m not a friggin leader,” he snapped. “I’m a low life Air Force cop who never cared about my job. I only cared about myself. I was just a janitor with a gun,” he said and forced a laugh. “But I’m not a leader. Major Chick is a leader and so are Major Innes and Captain Taylor. Captain Diaz and Lieutenant Finley are great leaders. Lieutenant Kim was a great leader and I got him killed.”
“No you didn’t Myk,” Roy Jr. answered calmly. They were unsure where his emotions were going to take him. “Everyone said he died by a giant spider bite, right? Isn’t that how he died?”
“Yeah. Yeah, yeah you’re right,” Mykal said excitedly as if he had just been cleared of a crime. “I didn’t kill him. I didn’t kill Lieutenant Kim. It was those friggin giant spiders the last time we were on this side of the world.” Suddenly Mykal shuddered violently. “You shoulda seen the giant snow spider under the mountain where the Dwarves live. Oh my goodness,” he gasped. “That ugly assed monster wanted to kill me after it killed Al Capone. That damn thing actually hit me on the head with its leg.”
“Al Capone?” Anka whispered and looked at Mykal as if he had lost his mind.
“That was a name Mykal gave to one of my soldiers because his name was a difficult name to speak,” Towbar said. “I think it is what you call a pet name.”
“Oh you mean a nick name,” Randy said and nodded enthusiastically. “I remember Mykal talking about that giant snow spider.”
“I called him Al Capone cuz the guy’s face was covered in scars,” Mykal said while grabbing his tongue with his fingers to ensure his tongue wasn’t burning. “I didn’t wanna call him Scarface cuz he was a big scary dude, but that was Al Capone’s nick name,” Mykal said and suddenly started to laugh. “That was very clever on my part,” he said with a proud smile while he pointed to his head. “I called that big ass ugly dude Scarface without ever calling him Scarface,” he added and rocked his head up and down in exaggerated motions to coincide with his exaggerated laugh.
“That was very clever Mykal,” Sergeant Mathis agreed. It appeared he was responding to someone speaking to him through the radio. He held the handset to his ear. When he saw they were looking at him, Mathis pointed to the handset and nodded as if to say he was receiving orders. “We don’t want to make him angry,” he insisted while tapping the radio handset.
Suddenly Mykal looked at Mathis suspiciously as if Mathis was talking bad about Mykal.
Mathis quickly recovered and prevented Mykal’s suspicions being turned into violent actions. “I meant Mykal, you didn’t want to make that big man angry, so that was very clever on your part. Very clever Mykal,” he added to appease the chemical induced madness.
“I don’t know if he would have really hurt me,” Mykal added in a softer tone. “Cuz I’m Towbar’s friend, but dammmmmn, that boy was ugly,” Mykal shouted and started to laugh wildly. “Wasn’t he Towbar? I mean c’mon man, he had scars on top of his friggin scars. Somebody done whipped that boy with an ugly stick,” he said as if he was trying to get the others to laugh and burst out with a round of his own exaggerated laughs. “He fell out of an ugly tree and he hit every friggin branch on the way down,” Mykal said and burst out with new laughter at his own joke.
They seemed to catch on and played along with Mykal and laughed at his attempt to humor everyone in an attempt to humor him.
“Mykal, I think I know how ugly he was,” Mathis said in hopes of keeping Mykal laughing.
“Who, Al Capone?”
“Yeah. He’s so ugly that when he walks into a bank, the bank turns the cameras off.”
Mykal gave it a moment and suddenly burst out with new laughter. He doubled over and slapped his thigh and was humored even more by the fact that Towbar didn’t understand the joke Mathis just said.
“He was so ugly that when he was born they put tinted windows on his incubator,” Mathis said and laughed with him.
“Yeah,” Roy Jr. laughed and offered one of his own. “He was so ugly that when he was born the doctor slapped his parents.”
“I got one,” Mathis started to laugh before saying it and pointed to the sand near the water. “He was so ugly that when he would sit in the sand, cats would try to bury him.”
They all laughed at the joke and Mykal’s laughter was over the top. “That was great Mathis. You’re a funny dude. You don’t get it Towbar? Cats think he’s a piece of cat shit so they try to bury him.”
“He’s so ugly that if he sticks his face out a car window he gets arrested for mooning people,” Mathis said and the others continued laughing.
“Towbar, that was funny,” Mykal laughed and was doubled over again. “That meant his face looks like an ass.”
“I am laughing my friend,” Towbar said to play along though he didn’t understand the humor.
“He’s so damn ugly,” Mathis said and paused to make sure everyone was listening. “He makes onions cry.”
The men laughed with Mykal, but Towbar truly didn’t understand what they thought was funny.
“Don’t you get it big guy?” Mykal laughed excitedly and looked at Towbar. “I don’t know if you’ve ever chopped or sliced onions, but they make you cry. Here, Mathis is saying Al Capone is so friggin ugly that the onions cry when--,” Mykal said while he was still laughing and suddenly he stopped and his eyes blinked uncontrollably. He raised his hands as if blocking out the sun. “What the friggin hell?” He yelled and gasped in disbelief. “All these friggin colors and lights,” he yelled as if someone had shined a spotlight in his eyes. “Look at all these colors. Turn the friggin shit down man. You’re blinding me here,” he yelled as if someone could control the bright colors of the plant life around them.”
“What the hell is going on?” Roy Jr. asked. “This is like a damn rollercoaster.”
“We just don’t know how long the effects of those stings are going to last,” Anka said. “And we don’t know if there is any long term damage to the brain because we don’t know what the hell we’re dealing with.”
“Is this all my fault?” Mykal asked and looked up from averting his eyes. He appeared like he was ready to take the blame for something. “Is this all my fault?” He asked again. “I accept full responsibility,” he said and paused when they all looked at him.
“No Mykal, this isn’t your fault buddy,” Roy Jr. said to appease him in an attempt to keep his emotions on an even keel.
“Thank you Roy. I woulda taken responsibility. I woulda owned up to it,” he said in a broken and contrite manner. Suddenly his mood changed again. “But I’m too friggin awesome,” he shouted an
d started to laugh. “Yeah! Hot damn baby! You know what I’m talking about Towbar. I am too freaking awesome man. Remember when we were on the road, doing the tour around the country to tell our story? Remember all the chicks who kept throwing themselves at me? Damn, I coulda had a different chick every hour in every different town we were in, but no! I’m too friggin happily married. I coulda had Doninka, but no! I’m too friggin happily married,” he scoffed and then paused. Suddenly he burst out with another loud laugh. “But I am happily married. But man, can you imagine if I wasn’t happily married Towbar? All that tail I coulda had,” he laughed and they all looked at him as if he was a completely different person. “All them sleazy bitches just wanted to hook up with us cuz we were famous.”
“But you love your wife, right Mykal?” Mathis asked in an attempt to calm his mood. “We’ve talked many times about your family and--”
Mykal cut him off. “Yeah, you’re right, but we did have people throw themselves at us. Towbar, do you remember that one scum bag? Listen guys, we had all kinds of offers thrown our way. Everything from doing commercials for people and their businesses to doing endorsements for sports teams and everything in between. But I had this one pervert who actually came up to me in Atlanta. He said he was from California and said he made porno movies and asked if I would get Towbar to do a porno,” he laughed. “The man said he would love it cuz he believed Towbar would rip the women apart. Can you imagine it? Towbar doing a porno?” He laughed wildly and looked at his giant friend. “Towbar didn’t know what I was talking about until I explained it to him,” he continued to laugh wildly. “But honestly, that’s not the big guy’s style. And that pervert begged me to convince Towbar into doing a porno. He promised to pay tons of money. He said people woulda paid big bucks to watch Towbar the giant from another world gettin’ it on. I finally told the pervert to get lost and almost had to threaten him.”
They all looked at Mykal like they weren’t sure what to make of all that just happened.
He could see they didn’t know what to make of it. “It’s the truth, and obviously we never took that jerk up on his offer. Towbar is not into that stuff and I sure as hell didn’t wanna get mixed up with some strange guy in the porno business. If I wanted to make money we coulda done tons of different commercials or endorsements. We had so many different kinds of offers thrown at us for money or anything we wanted. But we didn’t do anything,” he boasted. “I love my family too much to screw around with stupid stuff.”
“My friend is telling you the truth,” Towbar declared. “We have never brought up those deplorable offers until now. Mykal told me to keep those illicit requests our secret. He did not want to hurt his wife with such ugly thoughts. We did keep them secret until the little white floating things opened Mykal’s lips. The little white floaters are like a very strong drink.”
Suddenly Mykal’s mood changed again. “I don’t feel right man. I feel like something’s wrong, but all I wanna do is rescue Doninka and go home to my wife and kids,” he said and sounded like he was on the verge of tears again. “What the hell is wrong with me man? Am I losing my damn mind? I just wanna go back to the missile field and be a boring ol’ missile cop out in the field of Minot Air Force Base. Wait! I’m not even in the Air Force anymore. What the hell am I thinking? Am I a moron, or what? Towbar,” he turned to the giant and looked like he was on the verge of a break down again. “Is there something wrong with me?”
“I do not know my friend,” the giant answered and looked genuinely concerned. “What are you feeling my friend?”
“I don’t know,” Mykal gasped as if trying to stop the tears that flooded his eyes. “But I know you are the most important person in my life next to my wife and kids. Pam is the love of my life and, and, and my two little boys are the greatest thing that ever happened to me cuz me and Pam created those two little human beings who are gonna grow up to be real life people just like us. I gotta be there to protect them. And when they go to school if anyone picks on them I’ll kill the bastards,” he snarled and reached for the .357 magnum at his side.
“My friend, is that not normal for them to grow up and experience challenges?” Towbar said to defuse the sudden rage that flared up. “If you step in and kill the children who would pick on your children are you not denying them the opportunity to grow up?”
Mykal let go of the handle of his .357 magnum and put his fingers to his lips as if to dwell on Towbar’s question. “You’re right, Towbar,” he gasped. “If I step in every time something doesn’t go right, then I am denying them the right to grow up on their own. See that’s why I love you Towbar. You make so much sense. Just like Ski and Captain Diaz when they talk all their religious stuff about Jesus and God. I need to sit down and talk to them and listen to what they have to say some time.”
All those standing with Mykal looked stunned. His conversation seemed to go all over the place, but then they realized it had to be due to the injection of the strange chemical that had affected his brain.
“Oh damn, my tongue is burning. My tongue is burning but it feels like it’s numb like I been eating popsicles all day and I think it’s making me talk kinda slow. Does that make any sense to anyone or am I the only one who knows what the friggin hell I’m talking about?” He asked with clenched teeth.
“Are you alright buddy?” Roy Jr. asked when he looked at the confused distorted expressions Mykal gave.
“Damn, where’s that friggin buzzing coming from?” Mykal yelled and looked around him as if an annoying fly was circling his head. “It’s so damn loud. Where the hell is it so I can kill the little sonovabitch,” he snarled and looked all around as if chasing the flight of a fly desperate to get away from his glare. “Help me damn it,” he yelled and put his hands over his ears to stop the loud buzzing. “It’s like I’m studying for a test and there’s this damn annoying, loud, fly buzzing around my head. Can’t you guys friggin hear it?” He snarled angrily and looked at their stunned faces.
Suddenly a gun shot rang out followed by a loud scream. Some of the men dove to the ground.
“What the hell?” Roy Jr. yelled and looked all around them. Farther ahead they could see a group of men descend on one area.
“Oh no,” Mykal moaned. His anger was gone, replaced with fear and trepidation. “Did I do that? Did I cause more death and destruction?”
“Captain Diaz said for us all to keep our eyes on those who have been stung,” Mathis shouted after he spoke on the radio.
“Do we know what happened?” Vick Daring asked.
“Captain Diaz said that Staff Sergeant Valante, one of the squad leaders had been stung several times and it sounds like he was having bad hallucinations,” Mathis said and paused. “It appeared there was something on his hand, a smudge of dirt or something, but whatever it was it bothered him. He took out his 9 millimeter pistol and shot his own hand. He’s hurt bad. Towbar, Captain Diaz wants to know if you would be willing to use the green fog to take us back to the Pass,” Mathis whispered after he spoke into his radio handset.
“Yes, I will do whatever he suggests,” Towbar replied quietly. “I am fearful for my friend’s safety. I can only imagine what is taking place with the other men who had been stung by the strange things that stung my friend.”
Mykal reached down and picked up a smooth rock off the beach. “Can you imagine what this would do if it was slammed into your head? It would friggin hurt man. Or don’t you think so?” Mykal asked when they all just stood there looking at him. “Man, I could go for a friggin steak right now,” he said when he realized he was hungry and didn’t want to eat another MRE.
“Would you really like to have a steak, my friend?” Towbar asked.
“Oh man, you can’t imagine Towbar. A nice thick juicy steak with some french fries and a nice salad,” he said and kissed his fingertips and blew them into the air.
“I am taking the men back to the Pass to have a nice meal,” Towbar said. “Would you like to go back and have that juicy steak and
fries you just spoke of?”
“Yes, yes, yes. I wanna go now. Let’s get the hell outta here, but wait, I gotta rescue Doninka.”
“We will rescue Doninka after we have a nice meal and give the men an opportunity to rest for a short spell,” Towbar said.
“You’re right buddy. After a good meal we can come back and pick up where we left off,” Mykal agreed enthusiastically. “Let’s go. Come on. I can almost taste that thick juicy steak as we speak,” he said and started to run to meet up with Diaz and the rest of the men.
“Alright, let’s get all the men up to where Captain Diaz is and we’ll go have that steak,” Roy Jr. suggested while he and Randy ran beside Mykal.
“Man, can’t you just picture the big juicy steak that we could be eating in just a little bit?” Mykal asked when they stopped running. He looked like he no longer had any concern for the men who may possibly be injured. “I wish I could go back in time a little bit to meet the cow that died to give us the big juicy steak we’re going to eat. I would love to tell the cow, ‘hey man, I know you’re gonna die to feed me, but I want you to know ahead of time that I really appreciate your sacrifice to give me a great meal.’ And then I would try to make it up to the cow, maybe give it some fresh grass,” Mykal said and he was as serious as anything he had spoken before.
Roy Jr. started to laugh and Randy couldn’t hold back and laughed with him.
“What? I really mean it,” Mykal said and looked at the brothers. “Why do you find that funny? I’m sure the cow would wanna know that we appreciate that it is gonna give up its life so we could have a…great…meal,” he said slowly and realized how strange that must have sounded.
Towbar stopped behind them and they all looked at Mykal to see how he would respond.