by Dave Hazel
“Is there any trouble my friend?” Towbar asked.
“No. I’m just watching the point men who just returned and they’re talking with Diaz. Ooops, Diaz just waved us to him,” Mykal pointed. “Let’s go see what’s going on.”
“We’ll come with you Mykal,” Roy Jr. said for him and his brother.
As they walked past the men Mykal greeted them cordially and asked how they were doing. All the men seemed to be in great spirits though all seemed to be somewhat fatigued. Only the Elves and the Dwarves seemed to have unlimited strength and energy to continue the journey without resting.
“Hey Azarski, how are you doing man?” Mykal asked when they came close to the injured Marine. He looked sickly. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot with darkened half circles under his eyes.
“I’m okay Myk,” Azarski answered while fingering his Rosary beads. He had been quietly praying. He quickly made the sign of the cross and he kissed the small crucifix attached to his chain of beads. “I’m okay,” he said as if he was trying to convince himself.
“Are you sure? If you need help you be sure to let the medics or Diaz know, cuz honestly, you look like you’re not feeling too well. And I know you’re one tough Marine, but I don’t want you to torture yourself just to tough it out.”
“No, I’m okay,” he snapped as if he didn’t want to be a burden. “Really Myk, I’m doing fine,” he added and his tone softened. “I’m just starting to get a little bit of a fever, but I’m fine. I’ll be okay. I’m not really burning up, but I can tell my temperature is going up just a little bit.”
Mykal quickly gave it thought and wouldn’t have a problem taking him back to the Pass, but he didn’t want to use the green fog in an enclosed area if they didn’t have to. He was more concerned about returning to this area than departing. This area was much more open than the last time they were trapped under a mountain and he didn’t want to go back if Azarski felt up to continuing. “Are you sure? Cuz if you need medical help I don’t want you to deny yourself.”
“No Myk, I’m fine,” Azarski said and sniffed at his runny nose. “Let me just wait and see how I feel after we take our next rest break. I have the faith to believe this will pass,” he added and held up his Rosary to show the crucifix dangling under his fist.
“Alright, but do me a favor, okay? If you feel you’re not getting any better, I want you to let me know personally okay?”
“Sure Myk. I will.”
“No, I mean it cuz you were with us when we were trapped under the mountain and you volunteered to come help us find Doninka, so if you’re not feeling too hot I’ll personally take you back to where medical is at in the Pass. Alright?”
“Sure Myk. I just don’t want to be a burden to anyone.”
“You’re not and don’t think like that. You put your tail on the line more than once and I’ll do all we have to do to help you. Just be open and honest with me, alright? Promise me man to man,” Mykal persisted and noticed the bandage on Azarski’s neck seemed darken where the blood seeped through.
“Sure Myk. I give you my word,” Azarski promised and looked downward, as if somewhat embarrassed. “After we rest if I don’t feel like I’m getting any better I’ll come let you know,” he added with a friendly, thankful, smile.
“Cool,” Mykal chuckled and lightly slapped Azarski on the arm. “It’s not like you got a little cut on your finger. One of those strange friggin AFA’s bit you on the neck and we don’t know if those damn things drink toilet water or not,” he joked.
“Okay, I agree,” Azarski said and forced a laugh.
“I think we’re gonna find a spot to rest for a few hours,” Mykal said and looked over to Diaz and the others. “If we do, you get some good sleep and do not, and I repeat do not pull any guard duty. I wanna see if getting some rest will do you some good, okay?”
“Sure, sure. I’ll do that,” he said with a nod and sniffed at his runny nose again.
“I’ll see if the medics have some meds they can give you that will help you get some rest and then we’ll see what happens.”
“I will, and I remember the last time we did the green fog thing under a mountain. It wasn’t good.”
“Yeah, but don’t you worry about that. We want you to get better quick. We’ll be back in a little bit,” Mykal said and turned to those around the sickly looking Azarski. “You guys keep an eye on him and don’t let him play Mister Macho tough-ass Marine, alright?”
“Yes Sir,” three of them said together and laughed.
“Mykal, we’re going to set up camp here unless you have any objections,” Captain Diaz said when Mykal and Towbar joined him. “Freeman and Winfield, and the others said this would be the best location where we can all be closer together and have some room.”
“I don’t have any problem with it at all, but let’s make sure we double up on guard duty. I don’t wanna have another surprise attack from the AFAs.”
“I agree,” Diaz said while he watched Lieutenant Finley direct the men to set up a small camp for the next eight hours or so.
“I told Azarski to let us know in the morning how he feels. He doesn’t look too good. If it comes down to it we will have to take him back to the Pass to get him medical help.”
“I’m fine with that Mykal. Sergeant Overman has been doing really well,” Diaz explained and pointed to the Green Beret who had been the other one bitten by the AFA. “He said his arm aches but he’s doing fine.”
CHAPTER TWELVE 01/17/1984
1. Tuesday, January 17th 1984
0251 hours, Inside of Mountain, Other Side of Towbar’s World (10th Day)
“Hey Mykal. Mykal, you gotta get up,” someone whispered while gently shaking his shoulder.
“Huh? What’s up?” Mykal whispered when he saw Green Beret Sergeant Nikopolous with his finger to his lips.
“Diaz and Finley need you and I’m trying not to wake all these guys around you.”
“I’ll be right there,” he said and forced a stretch. He Looked at the forced illuminated numbers on his watch and believed something to be wrong since it was just before three o’clock in the morning. He hesitated for a moment not from fatigue but for fear of what he would find out. He sat in silence trying to determine what Diaz was going to tell him. He noticed his mouth tasted like he had been gargling with sewer water. He distracted his thoughts by reminding himself he needed to brush his teeth as soon as the opportunity presented itself.
Mykal wasn’t sure where he was supposed to go but he joined the men grouped together away from most of the sleeping men. “What’s going on?” Mykal whispered. Towbar stood with Diaz, Finley and a hand full of men who had been doing guard duty. The men parted which enabled him to look at the lifeless form of Marine Sergeant Azarski on the cold dark floor.
“Oh man, Ay-zee, we’re gonna miss you bro,” Sergeant Kalhoun said and patted Azarski’s shoulder. Kalhoun as well as Private First Class Chandler and Private First Class Jourard looked mournful over the loss of their close friend and fellow Marine.
The three looked at Mykal. “His nickname was Ay-zee,” Jourard said and wiped a tear from his eye.
“He’s in a better place now,” Chandler said to comfort Jourard and put his arm around Jourard’s shoulder. “Ay-zee and Jory were super close Mykal.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Mykal whispered to the three of them. He understood the emotions of such loss. He had suffered the same sentiments several times. He suddenly wondered if he should have taken Azarski back to the Pass. He could sense the guilt of self-blame creeping up. ‘Why didn’t I take him back?’ He mentally interrogated himself. ‘Was it just laziness on my part? Was it just the inconvenience of interrupting my current plan?’ Mykal looked at the still form. “Do we know what happened?”
Azarski’s hands were clutched to his Rosary beads on his chest. His face looked as if there was no color other than darkened circles around his eyes. His black hair made his pale face look even whiter and the lack o
f color in his cheeks gave more of a sunken look to his face. He seemed to have died with a snarl in his lips.
“He passed a short time ago Mykal,” Sergeant First Class Lemon said. “We think he passed in his sleep because his hands are still clutched onto his religious symbols and they are still placed on his chest. Meaning, he didn’t thrash around or try to get any attention or help.”
Mykal wanted to blow up at Lemon, but it wasn’t Lemon he was angry with. He was angry with himself for not taking Azarski back to the Pass to get proper medical help. “What happened?” Mykal asked again but felt as if he had to bite his tongue to keep from exploding. He blamed himself for Azarski’s death and couldn’t allow himself to take it out on anyone else.
“During the last ten minutes or so, Mykal,” Private First Class Ferria said. “He was unconscious, you know sleeping, but he was grunting and moaning and his head slightly rolled from side to side. You could tell he was in pain, but I didn’t want to wake him up. His breathing kept getting rapid and then his body just stiffened up and he stopped. I waited a moment to see if he would move and then I checked his pulse and he was gone. So I went and got Captain Diaz.”
“Awh damnit, I shoulda taken him back,” Mykal mumbled.
“Don’t do that Mykal,” Captain Diaz said. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I’m not just saying it to have people pat me on the shoulder and tell me it wasn’t my fault. I really should have taken him back. But I was afraid to use the green fog inside the mountain.”
“Mykal, I’m not trying to tell you want you want to hear and I’m not trying to take the weight from your shoulders,” Lieutenant Finley said softly. “But you don’t even know if taking him back to the Pass would have helped him. We don’t know what he died from. I just don’t want you to second guess yourself and worry about everything we’re going to do.”
“He’s right Mykal,” Diaz said and nodded enthusiastically. “I hate to lose men and it breaks my heart personally when our men get hurt or pass away. But we are on a mission and we need to stay focused. Not to make light of Sergeant Azarski’s death, but we, and by we, I mean you, but we need to keep our head in the game.”
Mykal looked like he was going to say something but stopped and remained silent.
“Mykal, if we’re not going to get our head in the game and stay focused on the mission at hand,” Diaz said and paused to carefully get his point across. “Then we might as well head back to the Pass and wait for the deadline to try to rescue Doninka at the last minute.”
“No, we don’t wanna do that,” Mykal said and suddenly his attitude changed. He understood the point Diaz was trying to get through to him. “You’re right. We’re on a mission and I, and I’m saying I, have to get my head in the game. Thank you Sir.”
“My friend, you must understand that you can not prevent all the bad things that may happen,” Towbar said. “Just as you can not make all the good things happen as well. The men understand the difficulties we face and will face. They have made the choice to come here to assist you to accomplish the mission you were sent on. Do not allow your emotions to let them down.”
Mykal glanced down at the magic ring on his middle finger and realized again that the magic ring had a strong pull on his feelings. “You’re right Towbar. You’re right, I just hate…” he stopped and remained silent. He knew that just explaining his feelings wouldn’t change anything and it wouldn’t change the wonderful support he had in those who followed. “No, you’re right. What about Sergeant Overman? Since he was bit by the similar type of creature, the friggin AFA,” he said with disdain.
“They’re also called UBAH,” one of the men said which started some of the men to snicker.
“He is absolutely fine,” Lieutenant Finley said self-assuredly. “I have been keeping an eye on him personally and checking on him regularly.” Since Finley and Overman were fellow Green Berets they all understood Finley’s concern for Overman, but Finley was careful not to say that it was because Overman was a Green Beret for fear of how it would come across to those who were not Green Berets.
“Well let’s get the men up and get going,” Mykal said. “I wanna get outta this mountain as quick as we can.” The truth was he wanted to get away from Azarski’s body as soon as possible to keep the men from doubting or second guessing the entire situation while they sat around the body of a fallen Marine who had just passed away.
“Alright then, let’s get the men moving,” Captain Diaz said to Ratner and Lemon.
“Yes Sir,” they replied together and turned to gather the men and to wake those still sleeping.
Some of the men didn’t understand why they had to rush onward even before some of the men had an opportunity to eat a meal they would call breakfast. However, being professional soldiers, they would not question those handing down the orders. They quickly got into line and followed the commands despite their feelings. Those really hungry would take turns to eat while they walked so only a small number would not be focused on being alert at any given time.
Mykal joined Towbar and his friends near the rear of the formation to allow Captain Diaz and Lieutenant Finley to lead the way with Lanorear scouting the area ahead by flight when able. The pace felt casual, but to Mykal it seemed slow. He wanted to get out from under the mountain as soon as possible. He felt like the mountain walls were starting to close in on him though they had more space than he would have imagined. Without looking down to his middle finger he knew the ‘feelings’ came from, or rather were because of, the magic ring. He wanted desperately to turn himself invisible…so he could kill something, i.e. AFA or UBAH, a soldier of Zizmon-Tarl, or even a Soso, though they were on the other side of the world.
‘Why the hell does this damn ring make me wanna be so friggin violent or so damn wimpy?’ He wondered and wished he had better control over his thoughts and emotions. ‘This would be the perfect magic item if I didn’t have to battle my thoughts so much.’
“Is something troubling you my friend?”
“Huh?” Mykal answered and realized Towbar was watching him so he couldn’t just blow his question off. “No, not really. I think I’m just a little tired. I didn’t get much sleep when they woke me, but I’ll be alright. I just hate it when we lose someone. These men are so damned good. They put their lives on the line to help a people they really don’t know and it just, just, it just makes me wanna protect them like they’re my kids. But I know they’re grown men, and hell, a number of them are older than me,” he added and had to laugh.
“I agree with you whole heartedly my friend. I am truly indebted to you and your people,” the giant said with an endearing smile. “Are you sure that is all that troubles you my friend?”
“Well,” he started and paused. Mykal didn’t want to reveal to Towbar that the magic ring was becoming a heavier burden to him than previously. He knew the giant would advise that he part with the magic ring since he had done so just a month before. Deep inside he knew he couldn’t separate from the ring because of his need to protect himself back in his world from those who would probably pounce on him if they found out he had gotten rid of it, his ‘secret strength’.
“Well it is bothering me that Azarski died and I know that I can’t blame myself, but I could have taken him back to the Pass. And I don’t even know if that would have helped him. It bothers me cuz he fought with us during the battles at the Pass and he helped us when we snuck into the Soso camp to rescue the people who had been prisoners. Then when we got transported here the first time he went through all that stuff with us and still he volunteered to come here to help find Doninka. I just feel terrible like I let the guy down when he needed me and he had been there every time I needed him.”
“My friend, do not allow--”
“I know Towbar,” Mykal cut his friend off. He wasn’t irritated and frustrated with Towbar, but he was irritated and frustrated with himself since the same complaints and grumblings kept being repeated over and over in his mind. He wondered i
f his friends were thinking he was starting to lose his mind over the same – ‘Damn, I’m doing it again,’ he mentally scolded himself.
“I know, I’m just frustrated,” he admitted to the giant. “I’m trying hard not to allow myself to be drowned in guilt and self-pity,” Mykal repeated. “But Azarski deserved better than what he got. I’m just glad Overman is doing alright cuz I’d wanna get him outta here before things got bad for him and that’s another thing I’m worried about. Who the hell knows what’s gonna happen if we have to use the green fog to get outta here while being enclosed inside the mountain.”
“Please remind yourself that Azarski did not blame you,” Towbar said softly to help ease Mykal’s mind. “He did not wish to depart. I heard his words myself.”
“Yeah, I know,” Mykal groaned slightly.
“Try to remember the positive things about the man,” the giant added.
Mykal looked at Towbar and realized the giant never seemed to have any troubles with his emotions when it came to death or the suffering of others. He didn’t know how Towbar did it. He knew Towbar wasn’t cold and heartless from their conversations after battles and the loss of people near him, but he was able to mask it well and compartmentalize it to put it away until another time.
“That is what I do with those I lost who are near and dear to me,” Towbar explained. “I dwell on the positive aspects of their personalities and I think of the good things they would want me to focus on. Just as if I were to pass away I would want you and others not to mourn me as a loss but to celebrate the great things we accomplished and did together.”
“I hear what you’re saying Towbar. I do think of certain things, good things, with all the people we have lost. With Azarski he was deeply committed to his faith in God, though I don’t understand the difference between what he believed and what Diaz and Ski believes. Azarski said several times that he was a diehard Catholic. I can’t really think of a time when he wasn’t playing with his Rosary beads and kissing the cross on the end of his beads. I’ll have to ask Diaz what the difference is cuz he and Ski say they’re diehard Christians but they don’t pray with the beads like Azarski did.”