Living in Sin

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Living in Sin Page 37

by Ginger S Frost


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  living in sin

  these terms, at least in the 1830s. Most couples were already married when

  they arrived there, so the numbers were few, but the possibility remained.

  Other communities were more radical. The most notorious Owenite

  community was Manea Fen, led by William Hodson. Hodson lived with his

  deceased wife’s sister and so had little respect for the marriage laws, though

  he insisted to the national association that he followed Owenite principles.

  All the same, he wrote to a friend in 1839 that he wanted to abolish ‘the

  buying and selling of each other’ in his community. Whatever the actual

  practices, the Manea Fen community boasted to the local press that they

  did not follow the regular English customs.54 In addition, the Lawrence

  Street chapel, a Southcottian church, offered a place where ‘couples simply

  married themselves.’ Owenites may have taken advantage of this option,

  though after 1840, Owen urged his followers to marry civil y.55

  Self-divorce, as opposed to self-marriage, was a more difficult

  proposition. Southwell insisted that Owen supported divorce only when it

  was mutual, rather than the repudiation by one party of the other. Southwell

  admitted that the distinction could be hard to make, since when only one

  partner wanted to leave there would be ‘some difficulty’.56 Southwell himself

  left his wife because she was unfaithful, and later cohabited with his wife’s

  aunt. He complained about the lack of provision for divorce: ‘The woman

  with whom I lived was faithful; the woman I married was false … which of

  these two women best deserved all the kindness and consideration in my

  power to bestow?’ Nevertheless, when his wife became ill and begged him

  to return, he did so; he did not practice repudiation himself.57

  Owenite self-divorces indeed were usual y mutual. In a much

  publicised case in 1842, the Cheltenham Owenites drew up a divorce

  contract between Amelia and James Vaughan. The Vaughans agreed to

  separate, and William Stanbury contracted to take over the care of Amelia.

  If either man reneged on the contract, he had to pay a fine of £10, while

  James got custody of their son once he turned two years old. As Taylor has

  pointed out, despite their disdain for wife sales, the Owenites had drawn

  up a contract similar to those already used in plebeian circles, transferring

  responsibility for Amelia from one man to another. In addition, this ‘divorce’

  led to a long, scandalised story in the newspaper, in part because Stanbury

  had left his wife and children, though the paper grudgingly admitted he

  gave them ‘a weekly allowance.’ The ire of the local population showed the

  difficulty of allowing divorces; the newspaper insisted that Socialism ‘has

  become a mere byeword [sic] for immorality and licentiousness.’58

  Of course, those who were married only by agreement could be

  Copyright © 2008. Manchester University Press. All rights reserved.

  divorced even more easily, and this situation was risky for women. For

  instance, Southwel ’s cohabitee wanted him to marry her bigamously (and

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  Frost, Ginger S.. Living in Sin : Cohabiting as Husband and Wife in Nineteenth-Century England,

  Manchester University Press, 2008. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/nscc-ebooks/detail.action?docID=1069613.

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  radical couples, 1790–1850

  illegal y, because of the affinal tie). She hoped this would protect her from

  desertion, but he refused. Her concern was justified, since he later returned

  to his wife. In 1839, a servant named Mary Bennett accused John Joyes of

  marrying her in the ‘socialist’ manner, and then abandoning her after the

  birth of their child. The local Owenites disputed this story, but it pointed up

  the difficulties for women, particularly after several Owenite communities

  failed in the early 1840s.59 After al , the only reason women could take part

  in free unions was the promise of communal support. Without that, they

  had only the dubious mercy of the Poor Law if their relationships failed.

  Some Owenite leaders did take that risk. As mentioned earlier in this

  chapter, Frances Cooper and James Morrison cohabited for five years (1822–

  27), though they later married. Emma Martin, a crusader against religion,

  lived with Joshua Hopkins, a labourer, in a free union for six years until her

  early death in 1851. When young, Emma had married Isaac Martin and had

  three daughters with him, but she was miserable in the marriage. In 1839,

  she left him, and became a lecturer for Socialism, particularly debating

  with others on ‘Marriage and Divorce’. In 1845, after a struggle to support

  herself and fierce criticism from religious groups, she formed a free union

  with Joshua and retired from lecturing, giving birth to a daughter in 1847.

  Her union with Hopkins succeeded, probably because Joshua believed in

  both workers’ and women’s emancipation.60 At her funeral, G. J. Holyoake

  described their relationship in idealised terms: ‘no affection was ever purer,

  no union ever more honourable to both parties’. Emma suffered from much

  criticism, even within Socialist groups, and she was often short on funds,

  but at least her home life was happy. Her union was an example both of the

  disadvantages and the rewards for working women in ‘true’, but irregular,

  bonds.61

  Owenites challenged the biblical basis of marriage and highlighted

  the problems with England’s marriage laws. Especial y, they combined

  women’s and class issues in ways that few others had done. They shared a

  belief in reason and perfectability with those who came before them, but

  went further in their solutions. Stil , even at the height of the movement,

  Owenite couples in free unions were the minority. Most couples who

  joined Owenism were already married; others joined after 1840, when

  Owen encouraged civil marriage. And many of those who did take part in

  free unions eventual y married; those who did not often could not do so.

  Furthermore, much of the Owenite practices were in tune with the

  working class around them rather than a break with tradition. Unhappy

  poor couples practiced self-marriage and divorce; they just did not make a

  Copyright © 2008. Manchester University Press. All rights reserved.

  public stand about it. And despite many Owenites’ emphasis on feminism,

  their communities still expected the women to do the domestic tasks. As it

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  Frost, Ginger S.. Living in Sin : Cohabiting as Husband and Wife in Nineteenth-Century England,

  Manchester University Press, 2008. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/nscc-ebooks/detail.action?docID=1069613.

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  living in sin

  turned out, Owenite communities were hardly paradises for women, who

  were burdened with both domestic and non-domestic work and had little

  say in governing the societies. Taylor argues that the Owenite movement

  became increasingly conservative about marital
issues after 1840, especial y

  among women. Morrison, for instance, insisted that socialists must

  continue to marry, ‘“in order to insure that fidelity which the vehemence of

  temporary passion could never guarantee.”’ In short, women socialists had

  less enthusiasm for sexual experimentation as time went on.62

  The Owenite movement’s col apse in the 1840s was due to economic

  failure more than these marital dilemmas. Owen became convinced that

  the success of the movement depended on upper-class sponsors and lost

  interest in experiments. After the movement petered out, couples who had

  lived in free unions may or may not have stayed in that situation. Without

  the community support, women cohabitees were in a difficult situation,

  so they may have insisted on legalising their relationships (if possible).

  After the 1840s, the working-class movement focused on Chartism and

  trade unions and supported domesticity and male suffrage, thus excluding

  women from leadership and limiting their opportunities for marital dissent.

  According to Anna Clark, this outcome was the result of ‘bitter political

  and trade union struggles’ and was contrary to much working-class history.

  Nevertheless, the leadership in critiquing marriage and pushing for gender

  equality shifted to the middle class.63

  Radical Unitarians, 1820–50

  As Kathryn Gleadle has shown, the largely middle-class members of

  Radical Unitarianism pushed for women’s equality and marriage reform.

  The nucleus of this group was in W. J. Fox’s South Place Chapel in London,

  and the vessel for their ideas was the journal The Monthly Repository. The

  Radical Unitarians’ core philosophy, based on John Locke, argued for

  individual reason and education. Though most Unitarians were liberal

  rather than socialist, many supported Owenism, and Owen reprinted

  selections from the Repository in his publications. Eventual y, the South

  Place Chapel attracted a wide range of liberals and radicals, including J. S.

  Mil , George Henry Lewes, W. J. Linton, and Eliza Cook.64

  According to Gleadle, what separated ‘radical’ Unitarians from the

  mainstream was their devotion to women’s rights. Like many of the previous

  writers, they argued that women’s education stressed submission to men

  and thus warped women’s development; further, they insisted that women

  Copyright © 2008. Manchester University Press. All rights reserved.

  should have wider political and economic opportunities. On the issue of

  marriage, these writers agreed with Owen’s criticisms of the institution,

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  Frost, Ginger S.. Living in Sin : Cohabiting as Husband and Wife in Nineteenth-Century England,

  Manchester University Press, 2008. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/nscc-ebooks/detail.action?docID=1069613.

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  radical couples, 1790–1850

  especial y its gender inequality and indissolubility. Mary Leman Grimstone,

  for example, related women’s oppression directly to marriage, since women

  had no say in the terms of the contract and only men could sue for divorce:

  ‘there can be no contract without two parties’. She was especial y critical of

  the sexual double standard, since a woman ‘binds herself a slave to one to

  avoid becoming the victim of many.’65

  A particular goal for the radical Unitarians was to promote the idea

  of marriage as a civil contract. They argued that the religious part of the

  service was hypocritical and that the insistence on seeing the ceremony as

  a sacrament made divorce reform impossible. Like their predecessors, they

  also insisted that a true marriage was one of hearts and minds, whatever

  its legal state. In addition, they detailed many reasons to avoid the sanction

  of the church even when love was true. W. J. Linton, for example, disliked

  the ‘public exhibition’ of weddings. Thus, though most of these reformers

  married, they tried to do so in ways that rejected wifely subordination,

  such as eliminating the word ‘obey’ in the wife’s vows.66

  A minority of Radical Unitarians did not marry legal y, and their

  stories are instructive. The main actors were W. J. Linton and Emily Wade,

  W. J. Fox and Eliza Flower, Thomas Southwood Smith and Margaret Gillies,

  Richard Hengist Horne and Mary Gillies (Margaret’s sister), and, to a lesser

  extent, Thomas Wade and Lucy Bridgman. (A discussion of J. S. Mill and

  Harriet Taylor appears in Chapter 9.) In four out of five of these examples,

  the couples were unable to marry legal y. Emily Wade was Linton’s deceased

  wife’s sister; in the three other cases, one of the partners was married. In

  short, these couples grappled with the difficulties of marriage laws because

  of their circumstances and not just from theoretical beliefs. However,

  their radicalism usual y predated their unions; thus, their cohabitation

  deepened their dissent rather than causing it. Because so many of them

  were middle class and publicly active, their unconventional home lives

  had to be explained away or carried out discreetly. Ironical y, reforming

  ‘hypocritical’ marriage laws required some hypocrisy.

  The leader of the Radical Unitarians, W. J. Fox, had married in 1820,

  but the marriage was largely over by the late 1820s; he and his wife separated

  in 1832. Despite his own unhappiness, Fox argued for women’s suffrage,

  for women’s equality within marriage, and against the sexual double

  standard.67 His ideas were confirmed when he met Eliza Flower through

  her father Benjamin, a Unitarian publisher. Fox was Eliza’s guardian after

  Benjamin’s death in 1829, and they fell in love. The two were intellectual y

  and emotional y compatible, since Flower was well-educated and an

  Copyright © 2008. Manchester University Press. All rights reserved.

  excellent musician. Though Fox and Flower did not have a sexual affair,

  his wife was jealous, and her complaints led to Fox’s resignation from his

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  Frost, Ginger S.. Living in Sin : Cohabiting as Husband and Wife in Nineteenth-Century England,

  Manchester University Press, 2008. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/nscc-ebooks/detail.action?docID=1069613.

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  living in sin

  congregation in 1834. They eventual y asked him to return, but he decided

  to leave again in 1835, because he wanted to live openly with Flower.68

  Fox respected Flower’s abilities a great deal; her contributions to

  his work deepened his belief in women’s equality. For her part, Eliza was

  devoted to him and his family, gaining the confidence of his mother and

  sister. All the same, Flower sacrificed more than Fox in their irregular

  household. She lost many of her friends and had less time for her own

  work. His needs were always paramount; for example, in 1839, the family

  moved to Westminster, which was not a good place for the consumptive

  Flower but was better for Fox’s career. In addition, Fox and Flower

  apparently did not unite physical y, though Fox insisted such a union was

  not immoral. According to
Crabb Robinson, Fox asserted that ‘though

  no illicit intercourse had in fact taken place … it was merely accidental,

  there being nothing in their principles against their so acting’. Somewhat

  contradictorily, Fox drew a distinction between divorce and remarriage,

  so he did not feel free to start a new union, despite denying its immorality.

  As he put it, ‘“I hold myself to be moral y divorced – remarriage is quite

  another question.”’69

  Fox’s scruples did not lessen the scandal. The Association of Unitarian

  Ministers expelled him in 1835 when he set up his home with Flower.70

  The assumption of immorality infuriated Fox, but he should have expected

  it. Opponents had branded all marriage reformers as free lovers since the

  1790s; they were hardly likely to draw a different conclusion about a man

  who worked for divorce reform while living with a woman not his wife.

  Nonetheless, the help that Flower gave to Fox during their eleven years

  together allowed him to work more steadily. Flower, too, gained from

  their association, since Fox printed her songs in The Monthly Repository.

  Little indication of trouble or unhappiness between them survives; indeed,

  their affectionate letters indicate otherwise. Eliza’s horizons were more

  circumscribed than William’s, but she remained loyal until her death from

  consumption in 1846. One can also easily overstate their social isolation,

  too, since the couple had the support of the other Radical Unitarians.71

  Stil , one cannot help comparing the situation of Fox and Flower

  to the more private unions of the Gillies sisters. Margaret Gillies’s union

  with Thomas Southwood Smith has already been discussed in Chapter 5.

  Southwood Smith’s unhappy marriage prevented them from marrying,

  but they lived together for many years and worked for various causes.72

  Southwood Smith and Gillies had a mutual y supportive relationship

  and both had fulfilling careers. They did not publicly acknowledge their

  Copyright © 2008. Manchester University Press. All rights reserved.

  relationship, however, and Southwood Smith’s wife did not object to it (she

  even lived with them when she was unwell). They observed the proprieties,

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  Frost, Ginger S.. Living in Sin : Cohabiting as Husband and Wife in Nineteenth-Century England

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