by Wood, Vivian
“You may think that the young girl could not forgive the driver who had killed her family—” Father Duncan pauses, probably noting my tearful departure. He clears his throat and continues. “After all, the young girl was orphaned by someone looking at a text message. How does anyone begin to forgive that?”
Launching myself out of my pew like a shot, I barrel down the aisle, heading for the back of the cathedral. I’m still clinging to my hymnal as I run through the wide double doors, looking for somewhere private.
I turn right, stumbling into a coat closet. My heart squeezes painfully. My grief is still very much at the forefront of my mind. It’s messy and raw and not for public consumption.
Luca is right behind me as I push back into the coats, sobbing. “Cate…”
He sounds like he doesn’t quite know what to do with me. I push my face into my hands, blocking his face out from my view.
“Can you please leave?” I ask, strangled. God, let him just go, not witness my total loss of control. I squeeze my eyes shut.
There is a second of hesitation. Then he just says, “No. I can’t.”
I feel his big hand on my back, rubbing gently in circles. I struggle to control my tears, but the more I struggle, the more forcefully they come. I feel naked right now, crying while I’m pressed among the coats, unable to help myself.
Luca is the last person that I want to see me like this, so weak and unprotected. Without my armor up, I don’t even know how I’m supposed to exist.
“It’s okay,” I hear him murmur. His hand keeps rubbing my back reassuringly. “It’ll be okay.”
Eventually my bawling quiets to a sniffle. I am able to pull myself upright, wiping at my eyes. Turning to face Luca seems dreadful.
Is he going to laugh at me? I swear, if he so much as smirks in my direction, I’m going to lose it.
But when I wipe my face and move away from the coats, Luca surprises me. He looks at me, entirely somber, and clears his throat.
“I’m sorry.” He lifts a shoulder.
My brows rise. “For what? You didn’t do anything.”
His mouth pulls down. “I’m just sorry.” He hesitates, then shrugs again. “I wish I could’ve made you feel better, that’s all I mean.”
I look up at him, my heart starting to pound. He stands there, brooding and dark, thinking thoughts of me that are nicer than I could have imagined.
For some reason, my only response is to hug him. I burrow my face against his warm chest for just a moment, catching a whiff of his scent again. But then I pull away, my cheeks already beginning to heat. From the look on his face, we are both embarrassed by a moment I could only describe as very human.
“We should go,” I say, straightening my skirt.
“Yup.” His answer is quick and precise.
“Lead the way.” As I watch him turn and push out of the coat closet though, I start to wonder.
How many more human moments could Luca possibly have in him?
And what if it is far more than I thought?
Chapter Fourteen
Luca
I’ve figured out that Cate has a certain system for avoiding spending time at my house. Maybe it was learned at her grandmother’s, I don’t know. But it generally involves dashing out of the house as soon as she wakes up and returning when she’s ready to go to sleep.
Time to shake her up a little. After she broke down crying at the cathedral, she’s sort of avoided me except for at work. She even snapped at me a couple of times when she was waitressing.
All of which made me curious about seeing her somewhere new, someplace that I’m the only person she knows.
Will that make her less prickly?
I hear her footsteps now. Before Cate even gets downstairs, I’m waiting for her at the bottom of the staircase, a motorcycle helmet behind my back. To my surprise, she’s not wearing her nun outfit. Instead she’s wearing her black work dress with a pair of pink leggings.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
She brushes her dark hair out of her face, looking at me suspiciously. “To the grocery store. I’m hungry. Why?”
I show her the helmet. “If you can wait a few minutes, I think I can take you somewhere to eat that you’ll like.”
Cate’s eyes narrow. “Oh, Luca. I don’t know…”
“Hey, I went to mass. Fair is fair.” Holding the helmet out to her, I smirk. “Come on. I can almost guarantee that you won’t hate it.”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s not much of a guarantee.”
She does take the helmet from me though, adjusting her shoulder bag. I wink at her, which makes her cheeks flush.
“Right this way, princess.”
I stride toward the front door. She follows me, grumbling about her nickname. I open the front door and then usher her down the stairs to my bike. In a flash, I am climbing on it, patting the seat behind me.
As I pull on my helmet, she clambers onto the seat behind me. She gives me almost half a foot of clearance, sitting on the very back of my bike. I can’t speak, so I just yank her forward, until she’s snug against my back.
I can feel her tension as I start the motorcycle. She’s mad that I picked an activity that not only seems dangerous to her, but means that she has to have physical contact with me the whole time.
Yup. She’s just going to have to figure out how to deal with it. Smiling just a bit, I gun the engine. Then I reach behind me and pull both of her hands to my waist. She’s probably muttering a lot more now.
I take off, in no hurry as I test her reserve on the side streets. At first her posture is stiff against me as we get on the interstate and cruise by a lot of slow-moving cars.
But then, bit by bit, I can feel her begin to soften against me. Not relax, exactly. Just quit being so resistant to me and the G-forces pressing against us both.
It’s a pretty drive out to the little place that I want to eat. We get off the interstate for a little two-lane highway, driving out along the northernmost coast, running into the Pacific Ocean.
Out here, it looks a little marshy, alternating with beachy areas. It’s a little cold as we motor along the coast; I didn’t think of bringing anything heavier than my leather jacket, but I’m pretty sure that Cate starts trembling against me pretty quickly. It is winter, after all.
Damn, I should have brought extra layers to keep her warm.
Luckily we only have a few more minutes to go before I pull off the highway, slowing as I maneuver the bike down a little commercial strip. The ocean is to our right, the view somewhat blocked by a few two story buildings. To our left are a row of two and three story buildings, most looking a little worse for the wear.
When I pull the motorcycle into a spot at the last building on the right, Cate jumps off the bike before I’ve even turned the engine off. Pulling her helmet off, she immediately complains.
“It is so cold!” she declares as I pull my helmet off. She hugs herself, shivering. She frowns at me. “You should’ve warned me that it would be freezing!”
I roll my eyes a little bit. “Sorry. Come on.” I nod to the restaurant we parked next to. “Let’s go warm up. I think the restaurant has a fireplace.”
Cate needs to hear no more. She’s off like a bullet, heading for the front door of the restaurant. I have to pick up the pace or be left behind.
Making it to the doorway several seconds after Cate, I follow her inside. She looks around with wide eyes. It looks like a cabin, but it has one giant plate glass window facing the water. There is in fact a fire crackling on our left, leaving the rest of the restaurant space for little red and white checkered cloth tables. It’s not really prime eating time, so there is only one table occupied at the moment.
“Whoa. It’s huge,” Cate says. “Oh, look at the view!”
She shivers. A blonde woman approaches us with a smile. “Welcome to Antonio’s. Two?”
“Please.” I give the waitress a smile. Watching Cate shiver, I nod at a table near the fireplace. “Do you mind
if we sit there?”
The waitress gestures and Cate looks at me gratefully. We are seated, the waitress dropping two menus and disappearing to get water. The chairs we’re put in are uncomfortable for someone as big as I am, but I don’t complain.
After all, I chose this place. And Cate agreed to come…
“Do you eat anchovies?” I ask as Cate opens her menu.
She eyes me over the top. “Yes… I mean, there is almost nothing that I won’t eat.”
“How about prosciutto?”
She closes her menu. “Yep.”
“You should let me order.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “You’ll have to trust me on that one, though.”
I watch her study me for several long moments before she finally shrugs. “All right.”
It’s hard not to tease her. “Are you sure?”
She pulls a face. “No, not remotely.”
I laugh. “All we can do is see how it turns out, I guess.”
The waitress comes back with a couple glasses of water. “Do you know what you would like?”
“Yeah. A big Caesar salad and a large pizza with prosciutto, funghi, and ricotta.” I look at Cate, then smile. “And a glass of your house red for my friend here. She needs to relax.”
Cate shoots me a look but she doesn’t argue. She just thanks the waitress and hands over her menu. When the wine is put in front of her, she takes a sip. She’s still shaking a little as she puts the glass back down.
“Are you really still cold?” I ask.
“You are a jerk, you know that?” Cate glares at me. “And yes, I’m still cold.”
I unzip my jacket, shrugging out of it. “Here. And you should move your chair closer to this side. The fire is so warm I’m about to start sweating.”
She looks a little offended. “No.”
“Take the jacket,” I say sternly. “And move. Don’t be stupid.”
“No,” she says, pouting.
I start to stand up, which makes her jump a little. “Take it.”
“Fine!” she whispers, giving me her best death glare. She’s still shivering, which reinforces to me that I am right.
Retaking my seat, I watch her put on my jacket. There is something primal in that, watching her wearing something that is mine. I smirk. “Now move. Don’t make me get up again.”
“You are so bossy!” Cate complains. She does move her chair around our little table though. When she sits back down, she purses her lips. “Where do you get that from?”
My grin fades. “I don’t know,” I lie. But Cate seems to see through that.
“You forget, I’m best friends with your sister.” Her lips lift at the corners. “And from her description, your dad is pretty domineering as well.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well. He and I are nothing alike, okay?”
“Touchy, touchy.” She seems pleased to have found something that bothers me. After the waitress drops the Caesar salad and two side plates, she digs in. “Just because I’m starving and ready to eat does not mean the subject of your father has been forgotten.”
Scowling at her, I help myself to a little salad. She makes a sound as she takes the first bite. She looks up at me, her eyes wide as she chews and swallows. I nibble on a piece of romaine, savoring the umami bomb that goes off in my mouth. Anchovy, egg, and cream, cut with a heavy dose of lemon.
It’s so good that it makes my mouth water.
“Oh my gosh,” she says. “This dressing is just amazing.” She takes another forkful, mmming at the flavor.
“Just wait till you try the pizza,” I advise. “This place does very few things, but it does them perfectly.”
As if summoned, our pizza shows up seconds later, carried by the waitress. She sets it down and I dish a slice up for Cate before digging in to my own piece. The crust is thin, stretched out to hold the ingredients. Eyeing my slice, I take a bite.
I taste the earthy sweetness of the mushrooms, the salty fat from the prosciutto, the sweet creaminess of the ricotta, and the tang of perfectly balanced tomato sauce. On that first taste, I nod, bouncing my head up and down like an idiot.
Cate tries her pizza with the same results. “Oh man! What is this made of? It tastes way better than any pizza I’ve ever tried before…”
I take another bite, then have a bit more salad. “My grandfather used to bring us here sometimes. Just me and Luna, that is.”
She chews, looking thoughtful. “Was your grandfather a bully like your dad?”
A bully.
Cate doesn’t know it, but she’s just nailed exactly what my father is. I shake my head.
“Nah. Grandad was a busy guy — he owned most of the shipping companies here in the pacific northwest. But he wasn’t a bully. Not to us, anyway. He was just…” I picture my grandfather’s face, his mouth downturned, the little frown he perpetually wore. “Serious, I guess. Serious, but generous. When my parents decided to take what would turn into their endless European vacation, Grandad took Luna and I in without a fuss.”
Her lips curve upward. “That sounds like me with my grandmother. Obviously the circumstances were a bit different, but my grandma is a stand up lady.”
“Well, at least now we have something in common,” I joke.
She rolls her eyes but laughs as she bites into her pizza again. The conversation goes on, stretching comfortably between us while we finish lunch. On the whole, I have what I would call a pleasant lunch.
After a cup of coffee to wash it all down, we head outside. “Hey, I think that there is a place across the street that sells leather goods. Maybe we can get you a coat and some gloves.”
Cate smirks at me, nodding her head to the rocky beach behind her. “In a minute. We came all this way. Might as well enjoy looking at the water while we’re here.”
She starts walking down to the shore beside the restaurant. And I follow, faintly amused at how she just does what she wants and expects me to fall in step.
She stops a few feet from the water, poised on a rocky outcrop. Looking out over the Pacific Ocean, she covers her eyes against the glare from the late afternoon sun. A gentle breeze stirs her hair and the cold brings up the color in her cheeks. She looks small and fragile just now; my fingers itch to touch her.
She turns and pins me with her gaze. “It feels like we have some things to hash out.”
That gives me pause. “Oh yeah?”
She looks out to the ocean again, her expression unreadable. “I know that things between us are changing. But how did they get so bad in the first place?”
My brows rise. “You’re asking me?”
A tiny wrinkle forms just above her eyes. “Yes. You were always so… well… you were just a jerk the very first time I met you! I never understood that.”
I move closer, my mouth turning down. The ocean lulls me, lapping and receding in a rhythmic pattern nearby. I take a deep breath.
“I was a jerk,” I admit. “I was like that to a lot of people. Anybody new, anybody different. And you were both. If it helps at all, I thought I was looking out for Luna’s best interests.”
She pulls a face. “By making fun of me for dressing like I didn’t come from money? You were so vicious! And you only got meaner the longer I knew you, it felt like.”
I blow out a breath, looking at the horizon. My heart beats a little faster. “Well… you had something that Luna and I didn’t have, and I did not want Luna to spend a lot of time obsessing over it.”
Her eyebrows lift. “What would that be?”
My cheeks color. “Your family, Cate. The first time I saw your mom, it was because she followed you out of your house. And you were pissed off at her. I could tell from your body language. You just… you had someone who cared enough about you to chase you outside, and yet… you just ignored her and got in the car with us.”
Cate’s eyes widen. “That was it? That’s why you were so mean to me for so long?”
Shrugging, I shake my head. “That’s what I consider to be the root
of our issues, yeah. You have to understand, at the beginning I was just trying to protect Luna. And then it just… it became a comfortable habit.”
She’s quiet for several beats, long enough to draw my gaze back to her face. “I remember that argument.” Her lips lift at the corners. “Luna invited me to go skiing. My mom didn’t want me to go because there wasn’t a chaperone and there were going to be boys on the trip. My dad said that I was old enough to decide right from wrong. So I went.”
“When you got in the car with us, you complained about your mom for half the ride. And when I looked at Luna, she looked sad.” I look down at the ground, nudging a rock with my boot. “I’m supposed to protect her.”
She exhales. “Well, if by protecting Luna you mean being a terrible bully, then you got something right.”
Squinting, I glance back at the building. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
Her lips quirk. “I can forgive that, Luca. The past is the past.”
A few beats slip past us. Acting on pure instinct, I reach out and grab her waist, drawing her close. I bend down, bringing my mouth close to hers, letting her close the gap. Her eyes meet mine, pausing for a second before she pushes up onto her tiptoes.
Her lips brush mine, timid. Sweet and warm. I cup the back of her head, relishing the softness of her hair, and press my lips to hers.
She sighs ever so softly as I kiss her. That emboldens me to pull her flush against my body and explore her mouth, tasting her sweetness and stroking her tongue with my own.
Only now do I realize how badly I’ve wanted this exact thing to happen. I’m flooded with images of what could come next: stripping her down, tasting her everywhere, being inside her as she clutches my shoulders and calls out my name.
My fingers tighten in her hair and at her waist. Cate is my wife, after all; even she can’t have any objections to me while she carries my name.
But too soon, she pulls back, her breathing grown a bit wild. “Luca…”
I ignore her, kissing my way down her jawline to her neck. I suck at the sweet spot there, making her breathing stop altogether for a moment.
But only for a moment. When I move my mouth further, she shoves me away with both hands. “Luca, stop!”