Zero Regret

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by Autumn Jones Lake


  “What if I keep ‘em close to the house?” Sparky asks. He waves his hand in the air. “Like by the basement exit?”

  Hope raises her hand. “Uh, have I ever mentioned my deathly fear of bees?”

  Sparky gives her sad puppy eyes. “Oh no.” His face brightens and I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say. “The best cure for apiphobia would be probably be flooding. Lots and lots of exposure to bees, First Lady.”

  She turns to Rock, who shakes his head.

  Besides the wild things that fly out of his mouth, I have the feeling Sparky comes up with and discards a lot of ideas. But the brothers are kind and humor his eccentricities. Okay, kind is probably stretching it.

  “Thank fuck some of the others went for a ride,” Teller mutters. He squeezes Charlotte’s hip. “I’m regretting not joining them.”

  “No honey for you when I get my bees, you fuckwad,” Sparky says.

  “Everything okay at Crystal Ball?” Z asks Dex.

  Dex leans forward. “I miss you, bro. Christ, some of them are a pain in the ass. I caught Annie charging an extra twenty for hand jobs in the back and had to fire her.”

  “I knew she wouldn’t last long,” Z says.

  “Wait, you actively discourage that?” I ask.

  They both stare at me. “We’re not running a whorehouse,” Dex says. “They get caught hustling for anything more than a lap dance, they’re out. We haven’t had an issue in a while now.”

  I shrug. “When I danced, the owners didn’t care. Made it unsafe for all of us because customers didn’t know what to expect. Which girls to proposition and which ones would kick them in the nuts if they tried.”

  Stash leans forward, suddenly interested in our conversation again. “I’m guessing you were the second one?”

  “Watch yourself,” Z warns.

  “Yes. Officially they said it wasn’t allowed and like an idiot, I believed it.”

  “That’s why Salvatore’s went out of business,” Z winks at me.

  “These fuckers know what to expect in our place,” Dex growls.

  “I meant, maybe the girls don’t know you’re serious. If she danced someplace before that told her one thing when they hired her but looked the other way…maybe she didn’t know.”

  Dex tilts his head and studies me. “I had no idea you danced.”

  “Long, long time ago.” I glance at Z, hoping he’s not annoyed I brought it up.

  Dex runs his hand over his chin and flicks his gaze to Z then faces me. “We’ve kicked around the idea of a manager for the girls for a while now.”

  Z slips a possessive arm around my shoulders. “Yeah, what’s your point?”

  “You have experience, plus you’re a success story. Went to school and landed a job way outside the life. Be a good role model for them.”

  My stomach churns. “I hardly think I’m a role model for anyone.”

  “My old lady has plenty to keep her busy, bro.” Z’s statement comes out more like a threat.

  A threat Dex seems to sense because he backs off and holds up his hands. “No offense. Just a suggestion.”

  I narrow my eyes and glare at Z, not sure I like him speaking for me. What does he expect? That I’ll never work again? I’m not sure I could do that.

  Z

  Fucking Dex. I love that motherfucker, but I could throat-punch him right now.

  The conversation goes on around us but eventually Lilly gets up and goes inside. I follow her to our room and shut the door behind us.

  “You all right?”

  She spins, long hair flying around her. “What do you expect from me, Z?”

  She’s pissed. About what, I’m not sure. “What do you mean?”

  “The way you shut Dex down when he suggested I work at Crystal Ball. Don’t you think that’s my decision? Or do you not want me working on your turf?”

  Huh? My head’s throbbing trying to figure out what’s happening here. “No. I thought you…I don’t know, I thought you’d be insulted.”

  She places her hands on her hips. “Why would I be insulted?”

  Where did I go wrong? “Uh, because you left that behind to do something more important?” Not that I want to bring up bad stuff for her, but I’m not sure how else to explain my reasoning. “I thought now that the sick fucker was gone and…I don’t know…I assumed eventually you’d want to go back to working in government.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders drop and the anger melts off her face. “Really? You’d be okay with that?”

  “If that’s what you want to do, yeah. Why?”

  She shakes her head. “You don’t want me home catering to your every need?” It’s almost said in a teasing way, but I sense she genuinely wants to know.

  My mouth twitches. “Yeah, if that’s what sets your heart on fire, I’m down for it. But I can’t see you being happy doing that for the rest of your life.”

  “I don’t know if I could, I mean he was an extreme example, but certainly not the only one. Government is full of sexist jerks. Even if the culture is shifting and changing a bit right now…it’s so ingrained in everything.”

  “Then, they need more people like you, don’t you think? Help keep that change going.”

  “Wow.” She sighs. “You surprise me all the time, you know that?”

  “Why?”

  She shakes off the question. “Even though it’s trendy to talk about it, that’s all it is—talk. Men don’t give up power easily. Eventually there will be a backlash and I don’t know if I want to be there for it when it happens.”

  “Babe, those kind of men gotta die eventually.”

  She bursts out laughing. “I really love you.”

  “I want you to be happy.”

  “I am happy.” She glances down. “Let me get used to being your old lady and all that entails.”

  “You’re already good there.”

  “Let’s worry about our wedding. Then, I’ll figure out what kind of career I want to have next.”

  A streak of possession thunders through my veins. A desire to do anything and everything to make sure she’s always safe and happy. And I really like hearing her say our wedding’s on her mind. “Anything you want.”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Z

  As family day winds down and darkness creeps over the sky, Lilly yawns. Rock and Hope left hours ago. Wrath and Trinity disappeared to their room. Murphy’s still here, helping me keep the guys in check. I’m not sure where Teller disappeared to.

  “You ready to head home?” I ask Lilly.

  The party will turn rowdier. Hell, it already is. The guys built a huge bonfire. Soon, girls will start arriving by the carload to party with the brothers. Seen this and done it so many times over my life. All I want to do is go home with Lilly and Chance.

  With Chance asleep in my arms, I walk them out to the parking lot. “I’m going to finish up here. Talk to Rooster, and then I’ll be home,” I promise Lilly.

  “Ooo, stop,” she says.

  “What, why?”

  She lifts her chin toward the mountains where they sky’s slowly fading from purple to pink to orange. “I want to take a picture of you holding Chance asleep like that with the sunset behind you. So adorably perfect.”

  “It’ll probably come out too dark.”

  “Shush. Stand there and flex those dad muscles.” She laughs as she holds her phone out, framing the photo the way she wants. “Damn, you’re one fine looking man,” she mutters.

  I never get tired of her saying that.

  “Turn toward me a little,” she calls out.

  I press my forehead against Chance’s hair. “You had to pick now to be all cute, didn’t you?” He drools on my shirt in answer.

  “Perfect!” Lilly says. “One more.”

  She uses the flash this time, nearly blinding me in the process.

  Gravel crunches and engines roar into the parking lot. Again, I’m blinded, but this time by headlights.

  Shielding my ey
es and turning Chance away from the glare, I scowl at the intruders. “Who the fuck is that?” I growl.

  Lilly’s relaxed, happy smile fades as she studies the cars. “Z?” Her feet move faster over the gravel. “What’s going on?”

  I recognize the officer who steps out of the first car. One of the two who stopped by to hassle us after Malone’s burned down. “What can I do for you?” I call out, hoping this is nothing more than another annoying social call.

  Something about their demeanor and the fact that two cars showed up sends dread spiraling into my gut.

  “Angus Frazier?”

  Fuck me.

  “What’s going on?” Murphy calls from the front door. As soon as he realizes it’s the cops, he joins me. “What the fuck are they doing here?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Sir, this doesn’t concern you, go back inside,” the first officer orders.

  Not likely. Murphy crosses his arms over his chest and widens his stance, making it clear he’s not leaving.

  Three other officers step out. All of them with their hands too close to their weapons for my taste. I curl my body around Chance and shift him away from the officers.

  “Miss are you the child’s mother?” the officer asks.

  Lilly glares at him defiantly. “What’s going on?” She doesn’t bother answering the question.

  “Miss, I need you to take the child and step away.”

  Lilly’s visibly trembling when she turns back to me, her scared eyes asking what she should do.

  I have to get them out of here.

  “Here, take him.” I hand Chance over. “I’ll handle this.”

  As soon as Lilly steps away, three of the officers swarm on me. “Get down! Get on the fucking ground!”

  When I don’t go down fast enough, one of them kicks the back of my right knee, sending me to the ground.

  “What the fuck?” My jeans don’t do much to stop the gravel from digging into my knees.

  “Down! Down on the ground!”

  The commotion wakes Chance and it only takes him a few seconds to start screaming. “Daddy! No!”

  Fuck, this isn’t what I ever wanted for my son.

  Or Lilly.

  Still kicking and screaming, Chance reaches for me as Lilly opens the car door. “Z, what do I—”

  “Go home. Tell Rock what happened. He’ll know who to call,” I answer as calmly as possible. The last thing I want to do is scare her or Chance any more than they already are.

  “Shut up!” one of the cops shouts. “Head down. Arms over your head!”

  I watch Lilly wrestle Chance into his car seat, powerless to do a damn thing. Four fucking cops standing around and no one bothers to help her.

  Fucking assholes.

  “Back off,” Murphy snarls.

  The cop who’d kicked me slugs Murphy in the gut. “Since you’re so worried about your brother, why don’t you join us, Mr. O'Callaghan.”

  Great, they know Murphy too. This can’t be good. Are they here for me specifically or the whole damn club?

  Murphy takes harder hits for fun. From skilled fighters. He’s not intimidated by the rogue cop’s punch. He sneers in the cop’s face. “For what?”

  “Interfering with an officer.”

  “Easy, Allan,” one of the other officers warns.

  This is a fucking nightmare. My son’s hysterical. Lilly’s shaking and unable to move. This whole clusterfuck is blocking her car, so she can’t leave.

  Fuck, I promised her everything would be okay. How’d they even know about the bombing? A mess like this might send Lilly running right back to California.

  I look up and catch Lilly’s eye. “It’s okay,” I mouth to her. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She pulls her shoulders back and lightly touches the mermaid around her neck.

  Some sort of signal?

  “Stronger together,” she says just loud enough for me to hear with all the noise around us.

  Her way of telling me she’s not going anywhere.

  Behind us, more brothers come out of the clubhouse.

  “Prez?” Rooster calls out.

  “Go back inside,” I order over my shoulder. “I’ve got this.” Fuck knows I don’t need these asshole cops getting trigger happy with my family in the crossfire.

  “You heard your prez,” one of the cops sneers. “Walk away, bro.”

  “Fuck you, pig!” Sparky yells. “Get the fuck off our property.”

  God bless you, Sparky, but shut the fuck up.

  “Is someone planning to tell me what this is about?” I ask.

  The first cop shoves a piece of paper in my face. “We have a warrant for your arrest, Mr. Frazier.”

  Z and Lilly’s story continues in

  Zero Apologies (Lost Kings MC #14)

  Available, here.

  Universal link, here.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Zero Apologies

  Zero and Lilly, Part 3 (Lost Kings MC #14)

  One by one, the lies have been unraveled.

  I’ve shed blood to protect Lilly. To protect our family.

  I’d do it again and again as long as it means she’s safe.

  It’s time to marry her, cherish her, and spend the rest of our lives together.

  We were so close to our happy ending.

  Then chaos swept it away.

  The road ahead remains unknown.

  Loyalty, honor, brotherhood.

  Kings forever, forever Kings.

  I’ll never betray my club.

  Even if it means losing everything.

  Dying for something to read between now and Zero Apologies? Sign up here for my newsletter to get new episodes of Kickstart My Heart delivered to your inbox a couple times a month!

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  Love

  Life with a biker is an adventure full of twists and turns. When love is involved, MC men never back down from what they want—they fight for it.

  Loyalty

  Loyalty is the foundation in any motorcycle club. Break it, they break you. There isn't a line they won't cross to protect who or what they claim as their own.

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  These men live a life made by their own set of rules. Chaos tends to always find them. You cross them, the consequences are swift.

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  Autumn Jones Lake

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  Laramie Briscoe - Romance Author

  Laura Kaye

  Author M.Robinson

  MariaLisa deMora

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  Sapphire Knight

  Terri Anne Browning-Author

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  Author Notes

  I probably wouldn’t have to get my roots tou
ched up as often if I planned these things out ahead of time. Honestly, it’s my goal one day to have everything all neatly planned out and organized months and months in advance. One day.

  Maybe halfway to my editing deadline (okay right up to and after my deadline) I kept saying, “This doesn’t feel right. I think it needs to be three books.”

  Anyone who knows me, knows I adore my readers. I’m still humbled and amazed I even have readers. And I agonize over giving them the best story possible. Every. Single. Time.

  I kept lying to myself that Zero Regret would be the end of Z and Lilly’s story. There was a big surprise at the end. A lot of awesome, touching, and funny stuff happened. But…the end also felt really rushed. There were a lot of key events that happened all in the last 18,000 words. It was good, great really. I liked it. But it didn’t feel complete. Worse, one particular main storyline wasn’t wrapped up. Mr. Lake kept saying, “well, wrap it up in a later book.”

  That didn’t feel right though, as it would leave Zero Regret feeling incomplete or like it had an unsatisfying ending. (I’m sure you’re thinking, but now it’s really incomplete, bitch!)

  Then I went to this conference, which was good and bad. Good, because I needed to get away from the book for a while. Bad, because it was super-close to release time (why do I do that to myself!?) So, I’m sitting there in a class on how to improve your story and bam! I had this epiphany of how Zero Regret should end and that there definitely needed to be a third book. I furiously scribbled it all down and decorated it with a bunch of little question marks around it. Could I actually do that?

  Then a couple hours later, I was like, “Nope, I can’t do that. I already said it’s only a duet.”

  I called Mr. Lake that night and we talked forever and I think he was excited about the new idea, but he usually waits to see where I’m at before giving his opinion. So he asked me, “A year from now are you going to regret that you didn’t follow this storyline?”

  I’ll stop here and say I get LOTS of fantastic ideas all the time. I’ve also learned that not every great idea is meant to be a book. I’ve had tons of ideas I haven’t followed but none stand out enough to bother me.

 

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