by Saga Berg
Sarah seated herself next to Megan and peered out over the room. “Where is the waitress?”
“They’re understaffed. You have to go up to the counter to order. It takes forever to get anything,” Megan said.
“I’ll do it.” Svala stood up so fast she knocked over the menu on the table.
They all gawked at her in surprise. She forced a smile and leaned in to readjust the menu, trying not to stare in Viggo’s direction.
She had to pass three rows of tables between the window seats and the counter. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and milled beans filled the room. A waitress came out from behind the counter to clean the abandoned tables and make room for more customers. She sighed and pushed past a group of girls with her black plastic tray lifted over her head. Like all the waitresses, she wore a short plaid skirt and a tight white t-shirt along with a pair of comfortable white sneakers. Svala stopped and waited for her to pass, fiddling impatient with her bracelet as the girl took forever to get out of the way.
Viggo stood by the end of the empty counter. Behind it, a girl was preparing the espresso machine for her next order. She pushed a button and the steamer made three short whizzing noises, like it was about to give up on her.
“Damn!” The waitress mumbled under her breath, then motioned with one hand toward Viggo without turning. “I’ll be with you in a moment.”
“Take your time,” Viggo said.
Svala leaned against the counter next to him. Their arms brushed up against each other and Svala’s lips unconsciously parted with a quiet gasp. Viggo angled his head slightly toward her, his voice above a whisper. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?”
He didn’t answer. Svala glanced back at her friends. Jayden observed Svala closely while Sarah waved her hands dramatically in the air as she talked. Noah stared down into his phone and sighed.
“Have you been following me?” she asked.
“Yes, but only today.” He smiled shyly.
When she didn’t say anything, he gently pushed against her. Her stomach fluttered and heart beat escalated.
“Why did you move here?” she whispered.
He exhaled, lowered his gaze and lingered for five seconds before he answered. “I found out where you lived...”
She swallowed hard. “Vig, you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I know, I...” He paused, then drew a sharp breath and gently touched the inside of her hand with the tip of his fingers.
She gasped as the touch trigged a jolt of electricity through her entire body. Some dirty dishes on the counter next to her rattled gently against the cold metallic surface as her heart raced.
The waitress turned to them, and Svala pulled back. The dishes stopped moving on the counter as the young girl wiped her hands on her apron and pulled out her notebook from her green apron, unaware of what had happened. Viggo nodded for her to attend to Svala first and they both stood silent while the girl jotted down their orders and went back to the machine.
“So, are you going to tell me about Amanda?” Svala asked.
His voice grew serious. “There’s nothing to tell.”
Her lips pursed into a thin line. “What, are you afraid I’ll blow up this place if I find out what’s going on?”
”No, it’s nothing like that.”
”Why are you dating her? What does that have to do with anything?”
“I can’t tell you.”
She snorted, annoyed with his secrecy. ”Sure sounds like you’re cheating on me.”
”Please, Svala. Let’s not do this. This is not why I looked you up.”
”Then why did you? We’re not supposed to do this. If they find out…”
”They won’t.” He cut her off. ”I’m being careful. I only wanted to see you.”
She wished he would remove those sunglasses so she could see his eyes.
He smiled, the warm adoring smile he always offered her when she caught him studying her. ”God, you’re so beautiful. I miss you so much,” he whispered.
His words made it difficult to control her need to touch him and it scared her how little self control she had when it came to him. ”This is dangerous, Vig.” She scanned their surroundings. ”We shouldn’t be seeing each other like this.”
”I know.” He nodded. ”I needed to ask you…” He lowered his head and sighed.
”What?” Her heart almost stopped.
”It’s stupid, I…” He paused and inhaled deeply. ”When we talked, I told you I loved you.”
She nodded, not sure what he was getting at.
”You didn’t say it back.”
She frowned.
”I know, I’m stupid, but it freaked me out. With everything I put you through in New York, not making you secure about us, and then that guy bringing up Freja, your worries about Amanda, I just…” He shook his head, smiling. ”I needed to hear you say it. With everything else going on, I just needed to hear it.”
”You could have called.” She pointed out.
He nodded. ”I guess.”
”This is dangerous.”
If the touch of his fingertips against her hand made her lose her control like that, she feared what would happen if she put words on how she felt about him when she wanted him this much.
Viggo bit down on his lip, waiting.
Before she had time to say anything at all, Jayden came up behind her, put his hands on her hips and leaned into rest his chin on her shoulder. He pressed his body tight against her.
“You need help?” he asked.
Viggo tensed, and even behind those sunglasses she could tell his gaze was fixed on Jayden’s hand on her hip.
“No, thanks. I got it.” She tried to ease away but Jayden had locked her between his body and the counter.
A vein in Viggo’s temples twitched, his jaws clenched. When Jayden pushed one hand down Svala’s front pocket Viggo’s face reddened.
“I thought we could talk,” Jayden whispered into her ear.
“Okay, sure.” She wanted to push him away but didn’t want to make a scene. “I’ll be back with you guys in a minute.”
Viggo’s hand curled into a fist at his side. His body shook with obvious restrain.
“Not here. What are you doing after?” Jayden brushed his lips against her ear.
She tilted her head away from him. “I... I... have plans.”
Jayden sighed and took half a step back. “Is it just me, or have you been avoiding me since we...”
“No.” She interrupted.
Viggo froze, then breathed audibly through his nose. A glass jar filled with almond biscotti slid straight off the counter and down on the tiled floor where it smashed into a thousand pieces. The waitress leapt back at the sudden crash then frowned as she measured the distance between her nearest customers and the location of the shattered jar.
Jayden shuffled back at the crash too and stared at the waitress with his lips parted in surprise. Svala closed her eyes and sighed inwardly. Jayden reached for her again but she moved out of his way, raising her hands to show him she didn’t want to be touched.
“Just go back to the table. I’ll be there in a moment.” She forced a smile, to make up for the obvious irritation in her voice.
Jayden eyed her oddly, then offered a resigned smile and went back to the others.
The waitress ordered one of the younger girls to clean up the mess and as soon as Jayden was out of range, Viggo spoke through clenched teeth. “Ever since you what?”
She turned away, ashamed.
“Ever since you what?” He leaned his arm on the counter and leaned closer, looking directly at her behind his sunglasses.
“Nothing,” she whispered. “It’s not what you think.”
“Did you sleep with that guy?” His voice was strained.
“No! God, no! It was nothing like that. I’d been drinking, he kissed me, I pushed him away. That’s all.”
That was all but it still wasn’t t
he truth. She hated lying to him, but she couldn’t send him to Amanda knowing she’d been flirting with some other guy, or that it had taken over one minute before she indeed pushed him away.
Viggo stepped back from the counter, his face flush. “He took advantage of you?” He glanced back at Jayden.
“No, honey, it doesn’t matter. Don’t do anything stupid and expose yourself. You should leave before anyone sees you.”
His breath slowed. He stepped back to the counter. “If I see him near you again, I will hurt him.”
She clamped her lips together, preventing a smile. They weren’t supposed to hurt people.
“Does that mean you’ll keep stalking me?” she asked.
His face softened. “I don’t like that guy,” he said.
“I don’t like Amanda,” she sneered.
He paused, and moved closer. “Let’s go some place we can talk in private. Where we can’t be found out.”
“Viggo, no.” She shook her head, knowing very well what that would lead to.
“Just for a minute. We could meet up in the restroom. No one would find out.”
She grew light-headed imagining his hands on her body, his lips against hers.
“It’s too risky.”
The waitress placed her order on the counter in front of Svala. “There you go. Two cortados.” She reached back and then placed another in front of Viggo. “And one coffee. Are you paying together or separately?”
Viggo reached for his wallet. “I got it.”
Svala fidgeted with a napkin on the counter and waited for the waitress to leave before she spoke again. “You should go. It’s only a matter of time before my friends will recognize you.”
“Come on, honey.” He leaned in closer. “Just a minute. One minute won’t matter.”
“I can’t. I can’t control these damn teenage hormones, and by the looks of it, neither can you.”
He reached out and stroke the end of her sweater between his thumb and index finger. His hand grazed against her stomach. She whimpered.
“Please,” he whispered.
She closed her eyes, believing for a moment they could handle one minute, one kiss, if they focused. They had before, and they knew what was at stake. They wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize their future together. One kiss didn’t matter.
Viggo shifted his hand to her hip and Svala’s eyes flung open at the touch. She gasped, now glad she couldn’t see his eyes behind those sunglasses.
“No.” She pulled away. “It’s too risky. Please just leave.” And with that, she walked back to her table.
Chapter 15
1972
New York
The previous owner of their Hampton beach house, Gerda Johansson, resided in an impressive penthouse apartment in New York.
“Viggo, Svala. I wish we could have met under better circumstances,” she said as she opened the door.
Viggo and Svala exchanged a look of surprise. They hadn’t introduced themselves yet. But then again, Gerda was no longer an old lady as Mrs. Wilson had claimed. The woman who opened the door was young, presumably in her early twenties. Her blue eyes, blonde hair, and perfect skin was a dead giveaway. She invited them in.
The large living room held an amazing view over Central Park. Gerda politely offered them coffee which they declined. Meeting other Liosálfar was usually warm and pleasant, but Gerda had trouble hiding her reluctance to their presence.
“I trust Trym and Alva already told you to leave it be.” Gerda’s slim body almost disappeared in the large purple arm chair. She wore a white Chanel suit contrasted by a black shirt underneath.
Viggo straightened beside Svala on the couch. “She’s our daughter,” he said.
Gerda studied him for a few seconds, her eyes flickering over his face and down over his body. A subtle smile passed her lips, then disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. Svala reached over and placed her hand on Viggo’s thigh, uncomfortable with an elder Liosálfar staring at her husband like that.
”How are Alrik and Trym these days?” Gerda sipped on her coffee. ”I haven’t seen them in ages.”
”They’re fine,” Svala answered cold.
”Tell me, was it Alrik who provided you with my contact information?” She placed her Royal Copenhagen cup on the round antique table and tilted her head to the side. ”I can’t imagine it was Trym.”
”It was neither.” Viggo kept his gaze calm.
”Oh?” She moved back slightly, increasing her personal space. It was obvious she didn’t believe them.
”We got your number from the current house owner in Hampton,” Svala explained. The last thing she wanted was for Alrik or Trym to get into trouble over their recklessness. ”We asked Alrik, but he refused to help us.”
Gerda tilted her head to the side with a smile that slowly built. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised her shoulders. ”Well, I suppose he feels he’s done enough damage to last him a life time.”
Svala offered a fake smile and maintained an even tone. ”I imagine that is a matter of perspective.”
Gerda studied them both, then leaned back in her chair. No one spoke. Svala and Viggo didn’t dare to say anything else that could compromise Alrik and Trym.
The older Liosálfar leaned forward again. “Out of respect to Trym, I won’t report your visit. But only if you promise to stop searching for her.”
“Why?” Viggo asked.
“Because that is what they decided.”
Viggo raised his voice slightly. “So you know what happened to her. Where is she? What have you done to her?”
Gerda paused while holding his gaze, then rose. “It’s better if you leave now.”
Svala stood too. Her shoulders curled and her voice wavered with desperation. “He didn’t mean to... We only want to know she’s okay. Can’t you at least tell us that?”
The wooden clock on the wall ticked through the silence that followed. Gerda walked out from the sitting area and gestured toward the hallway “As I said. I think it’s better if you leave.”
“Please,” Svala said. “We need to know she’s okay.”
Gerda’s eyes narrowed. “But you already know that, don’t you? It’s obvious that knowing more will not stifle your determination to find her. Now you have to decide if you care about Trym and what might happen to him if you continue to disobey his direct orders. Selfishness is not a Liosálfar trait.”
”Neither is refusing to help those in need when you are able to do so,” Viggo said.
They went home, resigned, and out of hope. No matter how much they wanted to find Freja, they had exhausted all their resources. Another three years passed before they located her.
***
1975
New Haven
With no more leads to follow and nowhere to start searching, Svala and Viggo went on with their lives. They bought a house in New Haven to stay close to Trym and Alrik and tried their best to move on.
One afternoon, Svala went through the mail in the kitchen when she spotted a large brown envelope. She put aside the bills and tore open the tattered package. A picture of Freja fell out; she was ten, dressed in a school uniform and waiting by a bus stop. A back pack hung precariously over one shoulder as she gazed out over the road. Svala grabbed the picture with both hands and gasped, glad she was already sitting down.
“Honey!” She shouted into the house, reached for the envelope and poured the rest of the contents all over the kitchen table.
It was all there, all they needed; a copy of Freja’s birth certificate, reports of her time in foster care, her new adoptive parents’ name and address, school records and grade cards covered the kitchen table. Svala clasped her mouth with one hand, stifling another gasp.
Viggo found her crying with panic short gasps. “What’s wrong, honey?” He kneeled beside her.
“Look.” She lifted five sheets towards him, not sure which one to start with. “It’s her, it’s all her.”
&n
bsp; Viggo grabbed the picture of Freja, and his gaze fixed on her face. “Who sent these?” He reached out into the pile and grabbed the thick padded envelope.
While Viggo flipped the envelope over in his hand, Svala searched for the latest school records.
Viggo pulled out a chair and sat, his eyes stirring over the empty back of the envelope. “There is no return address. Who could have sent this? And why now?”
Svala handed him a paper. “She’s in New York. She’s there right now. At that school.” She pointed at the logo at the top. “We have to go there, before someone finds out we have this.”
***
The longest drive of their life ensued. They hadn’t discussed what to do if they found her, their shared understanding needed no words.
School was still in session when they drove up and parked on the street right outside. They held their breathes as they stared up at the tall auburn building with its double arched windows. Neither one of them dared to believe Freja was actually inside.
Svala pulled down the sun blind to access the mirror. To herself she appeared exactly the same she’d done back then, the same she’d always looked, but she wouldn’t to Freja. She put on the same lipstick she used to wear in the late 60’s and dabbed some more perfume on her neck.
”I should have gotten a haircut. My hair is too long. She won’t remember me like this.” She pulled it back from her face, considering if she should wear it up.
Viggo placed a gentle hand on her lap and leaned in to kiss her temple. ”You look fine. She’ll be fine.”
Svala clasped her purse and stared out at the school building. ”What if we scare her?”
”Hey!” Viggo placed a hand on her chin and forced her to gaze into his calm blue eyes. Her eyes stirred so he placed both hands on each side of her face and smiled. ”Relax, honey. We’ll be fine. She’ll know it’s us. She has to.”
After the bell rang it took another five minutes before the first children left the school building. Svala and Viggo stepped out of the car and crossed the street. Viggo reached for her hand and squeezed it tight. Svala’s gaze was fixes on the school and when Freja finally walked through the heavy double doors of the main building, Svala squeezed Viggo’s hand back so tight she must have cut off his blood circulation.