His brow furrowed. “Then why did you cancel our date?”
“Because I’m ill.”
He looked confused. “I knew you weren’t feeling well last week, but you seem fine today.”
“I usually do look fine. It’s only when I feel awful that I look sick. That’s part of the problem with mei disease. I can look gut on the outside, but on the inside I feel terrible.” She took a deep breath. “I have rheumatoid arthritis.”
Dan looked shocked. “Aren’t you too yung for that?”
She shook her head. “It can strike in yer twenties, or any age, really. I was finally diagnosed last year, but they think I’ve had symptoms since sixth grade. Mei joints are swollen, and I’ve been in a lot of pain lately, which is why you noticed I didn’t seem well. Mei symptoms are usually worse in the winter.” She held out her hands. The knuckles in the middle of her fingers were red. “I probably shouldn’t have gone sledding with you the other day.”
“Then why didn’t you say so? We could have done something else. I wouldn’t have minded.”
“Because I wanted to be normal for a change.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I wanted to have fun like I used to when I was a kinn. I loved to sled and skate and play outside in the snow, and I can’t do that the way I want to anymore.”
Compassion entered his eyes. Or was that pity? “I’m sorry,” he said.
She held up her hand. “Don’t. I can’t stand for someone to feel sorry for me.” The tears were threatening to fall, and she couldn’t bear to have him see her like this. “Danki for coming by,” she said, then stood from the couch ready to hurry upstairs.
But he touched her arm, stilling her. “You don’t have to run from me, Fern.”
“It’s better for both of us if I do.”
“How? You just said you liked me. And I definitely like you. Very much.” His smile was soft and understanding. “Not just recently either. I’ve always thought you were sweet, even in grade school.”
Stunned, she said, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
He shrugged. “I also thought you were a little out of mei league. You’re smart, I’m not. You were a gut student, I was a troublemaker. And when we finished school, Miriam started hanging around. I wasn’t attracted to her at first, but she wore me down. I truly did like her at one time. But not as much as I like you.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “I never knew any of that.”
“I guess we’ve both been keeping secrets.” He took her hand. “Fern, I’ve got to admit I’m a little floored about yer illness, but it also explains some things. I don’t think it should stand in the way of us having a relationship, though.”
“But I haven’t told you everything.” Her voice grew thick. “I can have a flare at any time, and when I do, I can’t do much. I hurt and I’m tired, and sometimes it’s all I can do to get out of bed.”
“We can work through that. I can bring you tea and read you a bedtime story.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle. “You’re saying that now, but it will be different when we make plans to geh somewhere and I can’t make it.”
“Then we’ll have to be flexible.” He squeezed her hand. “I’m willing to at least try, but I need you to meet me halfway. Are you willing to do that?”
Was she? Could she set aside her fear and worry to make a relationship between them work?
She met his eyes, and warmth flooded her soul. She had cared about this man for years. How could she let anything come between them? “Ya,” she said, meaning her words. “I am.”
“Does that mean we can geh on that sleigh ride next Saturday?” He winked. “I’ll make sure you stay nice and warm.”
Laughing, she nodded and said, “I hope you do.”
Epilogue
Eight months later
The season’s first snow fell as Fern looked out the window of her new house, the one she shared with Dan, now her husband. Their second date had turned into a third, then a fourth, and then they lost count and were soon engaged. She gazed at the snow outside, feeling a little bit like Johnnie and Leroy when they had cabin fever. She still tutored Johnnie once a week, along with two other students, and she found that she enjoyed working with children on a one-on-one basis. Teaching an entire schoolroom of children would be too much for her, but she was more than satisfied helping students who needed extra attention.
She also kept herself busy with other activities, although she’d overdone it the other day while working at an auction to raise money for a missionary group. She’d spent the last two days in bed. Dan hadn’t minded, as he’d had plenty to keep himself occupied in his shop. But now she felt better and wanted to go outside.
As if he’d read her thoughts, Dan came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She leaned back against him as he pressed a kiss to her temple. “Feeling better today?”
“Much.”
“Gut. Then I have something to show you in the shop.” He helped her into her coat, and she put on her boots and wrapped a scarf around her neck before following him outside. Once inside the shop, she saw a sled on the table.
“Where did you get that?”
“Do you recognize it?”
Moving closer, she realized it was her father’s sled. “You put it back together,” she said, grinning.
“Yep. Do you like it?”
“Of course I do.” She turned and kissed him. “It looks like it did when I was a kinn, although much better.”
“How about we test it today? If you feel up to it, obviously. I made it a little longer so we can both use it.”
A short while later they were at the top of that same hill by the school where they had their first date. She sat down on the sled, and he nestled behind her, his arms around her waist.
“Ready?” he asked.
“More than ready.”
Then, together, they flew down the hill.
Chapter 1
Middlefield, Ohio
Jemima Kurtz peered through a raindrop-stained window as her bus pulled into the Ashtabula bus station. Away from home for nearly a year, she’d been taking care of a younger sister’s family after Julia had become seriously ill with the chicken pox. It was a miracle she survived, and the illness and its aftereffects had been tough on her. Jemima had been glad to help, but now that she was sure Julia would be all right and had regained enough strength to care for her husband and children, she was glad to be home.
She stepped off the bus and grabbed her suitcase from the porter, then walked to the pickup area and looked around. Her father had said he would have a taxi waiting for her, but she didn’t see one. The driver must be running late. She hoped nothing was wrong with him.
She heard a large hiss behind her, then the groan of her bus as it pulled away. After a few minutes of pacing, she sat down on the single bench beneath an awning and waited. This was one of the few times she wished she had a watch. She’d wait a little while longer, then go inside the station and call a taxi herself. I hope Daed didn’t forget about me.
Behind her another bus pulled in, but she didn’t pay it any mind. Instead, she closed her eyes and focused on the faint sound of birds twittering. She’d missed that during the long winter months she’d spent in Maine with Julia and her family.
During most of the bus ride, she’d thought about her future, and those thoughts were still with her now that she was almost home. I’m going to find a job. She couldn’t even say the words out loud yet, but inside she was ready to pursue that goal. After spending most of her thirty-four years helping to care for her ten younger siblings, who were all married now, she was ready to live her own life.
“Jemima?”
She opened her eyes and looked up at the man standing in front of her, shielding her eyes from the setting sun that obscured his face. “Yes?”
“I thought that might be you.”
When he stepped aside, Jemima could see him more clearly, and her breath caught. She couldn’t believe the last person sh
e ever expected to see again was standing in front of her. Her throat tightened, but somehow she managed to be polite. “Hello, Everett.”
He had the nerve to grin at her, and she noticed that although ten years had passed since they’d last seen each other, he was still as handsome as ever. Even more so, because instead of a wiry twenty-five-year-old, the man in front of her was broad shouldered and well built.
Ugh. How could she pay any attention to his physique after what happened between them?
“Mind if I sit here?” He pointed to the empty spot on the bench next to her.
She shrugged but didn’t reply.
The grin slid off his face, but he sat down. As he set his suitcase beside hers, she had a quick moment to take him in. Not only was his bag plain black with no distinctive markings, similar to hers, but with a typical Amish straw hat set firmly on his head and his suspenders, broadfall pants, and boots, no one would mistake him for anything but the Amish person he’d always been. His bright-blond hair was now a darker, sandy-blond color, brushing the top of his collarless, yellow, short-sleeved shirt.
She looked away just before he turned to speak. “Where are you headed?” he asked, his tone as friendly as the first day they met.
“Home.”
“Me too. Well, it used to be home.”
She could feel his gaze on her, but she stared straight ahead even though she desperately wanted to know why he was back after all these years. This was one aspect of her personality she didn’t like—the tendency to hold a grudge. It wasn’t Amish or Christian, yet she couldn’t help it. And if anyone deserved to have a grudge held against him, it was Everett Wengerd.
* * *
Everett gave up. He shouldn’t have even bothered trying to start a conversation with Jemima, who was practically pretending she didn’t know him. Not that he could blame her after what happened. But when he saw her sitting there on the bench, her eyes closed, thick brown eyelashes resting on her cheeks, he knew he had to try.
But first he had to gather himself, and he took that time to gaze at her face. Although she looked older, as expected after a decade, she was still the prettiest woman he’d ever seen.
Immediately, the memories he’d tried to forget over the years washed over him. Apparently, she hadn’t forgotten her memories either.
He sat back on the bench, lost in thought. He didn’t want to be back in Middlefield, but after living in Shipshewana for ten years and working himself up to manager at an RV factory, the factory had closed. He was out of work. And that happened at precisely the same time his mother wrote asking him to come home. He’d thought long and hard about it—and had prayed just as much. Returning home meant more than just facing his father.
But his mother said Daed was eager to see him, something new. Her words also seemed to have an underlying urgency, and he decided he couldn’t refuse her request. If his father’s heart had softened, the least Everett could do was meet him halfway.
Yet while he was prepared to see his father, he hadn’t expected to run into Jemima Kurtz so soon. Lord, you have an interesting sense of humor.
A silver four-door sedan pulled up in front of them. He’d arranged for a taxi to pick him up before he left Shipshe, and he wondered if this was the car. He grabbed his suitcase and glanced at Jemima again. Maybe the taxi was for her.
The driver stepped out. “Hi, Jemima,” he said as he strode over to her.
She stood, ignoring Everett and lifting her suitcase. “Hi, Max.”
“Sorry I’m late. Your dad called about an hour ago and asked me to come get you.”
Jemima looked relieved as she smiled. “Thank you.”
Surely she hadn’t thought her father would forget she was here. Then again, Jemima had always been an afterthought when it came to her family. That had been part of the problem between her and Everett.
The driver switched his gaze to him. “You must be Everett.”
Surprised, Everett nodded. “That’s me.”
“Louis, the guy you called this morning, had to cancel because of an emergency. He asked if I could pick you up. Since I was coming out here anyway, it wasn’t a problem . . . until I had a flat tire.”
“Oh nee,” Jemima said.
Everett wasn’t sure if she was upset about Max having a flat tire or the possibility of sharing a cab. Max had already popped the trunk and was reaching for Jemima’s suitcase. She handed it to him, then she glanced back at Everett.
He wasn’t about to call another taxi and wait an hour or more. If she was out of sorts because of him, she would have to deal with that on her own. He hefted his suitcase to the trunk and dropped it in. Max shut the lid, then shook Everett’s hand. “Nice to meet you. Are you new to Middlefield?”
“Not exactly,” he said, glancing at Jemima as she climbed into the back seat. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here, though.”
“Well, welcome back. I’m sure you’ll find some things have changed, but most have stayed the same.” He grinned and then stepped to the driver’s side and climbed into the car.
As Everett passed Jemima’s window, he glanced at her. She was staring straight ahead. When he got into the car and looked at her over his shoulder, she didn’t meet his eyes, as if she were looking right through him. Fine. He turned and faced the front. She’s as stubborn as ever.
Chapter 2
He’s as friendly as ever. Jemima kept her eyes focused on the back of the front passenger seat, barely listening to the chatter between Everett and Max. Max had been providing rides for the Amish for years, and she knew him quite well. He was friendly, and she often chatted with him whenever he shuttled her around.
Everett’s friendliness had appealed to her at one time. Now she found it annoying.
“How was Maine?” Max asked, glancing at her in his rearview mirror.
His question jerked her out of her thoughts. “Good,” she said.
“You had a cold winter, I heard. Record low temps.” He paused. “I’m glad Julia recovered.”
“Me too.”
“What happened to Julia?” Everett asked.
Jemima hesitated. Of course, he would be concerned about Julia, but the last thing she wanted was to engage in conversation with him.
“Chicken pox,” Max said. “A real bad case too. Everyone was praying for her, including my church.”
That touched Jemima. Max attended a nondenominational church. Learning that people she didn’t know took time to pray for her family softened her heart a little. “Thank you, Max.”
She could see him smiling in his mirror. “You’re welcome. God is good, all the time.”
A lump developed in her throat as Jemima glanced out the window. God was good, and she needed to remember that more often. She could be pessimistic at times, and after Julia recovered, she made a vow to be more grateful. She and her sister had grown closer as Jemima had cared for Julia and her family. They’d had some long talks, and through them Jemima had gained some perspective about her life. Now she hoped she could get her family to understand that she’d changed. She wasn’t the same Jemima who left months ago.
“I’m glad she’s okay too,” Everett said. He was talking to Max, but Jemima heard him. “I remember she was a nice kid.”
She looked out the window, her heart hardening upon hearing Everett talk about her family as if they were all still close. Her gratitude was already being tested, and she couldn’t wait to get out of the car.
But at the same time, hearing the concern in Everett’s voice had sparked an ember of warmth in her heart, based on her memories of better times they’d had together. Everett had always been a thoughtful man, even when they were teenagers. Which had made what he’d done to her even more awful. She clenched her teeth, pain shooting through her jaw.
Fortunately, Max took her home first. She scrambled out of his vehicle as fast as she could, then waited impatiently while he took her suitcase out of the trunk. She paid him and grabbed the case. “Thanks,” she said, then
hurried to the house. As she opened the front door, she heard the car pull out of the driveway.
She blew out a breath, her heart hammering. Everett shouldn’t be affecting her like this after ten years.
Her mother rushed out of the kitchen to greet her. “Jemima! I’m so glad you’re home,” she said, giving her a big hug. “We’re having the familye over tomorrow for supper. They’re all eager to see you after all this time.” She clucked her tongue. “I just wish Julia and Gabe weren’t so far away. If only they would move back here, our family would be complete again.”
“They like it in Maine.”
“It is beautiful there. But I miss mei dochder.” She looked at Jemima. “Are you all right? You look pale.”
“I’m fine.” She gave her mother another quick hug and said, “I’m going to take mei bag upstairs and unpack.”
“All right. But supper is ready and nearly on the table. Yer vatter will be inside any minute. He’s finishing up a few things in the garden. He finally got that summer squash planted this year.”
“That’s gut.” Her mother returned to the kitchen, and Jemima climbed the stairs to her room. She put her suitcase on her bed and glanced around. Everything was exactly the way she’d left it, not that she’d expected it to change. She’d lived in this room all her life and had shared it with her sisters until they each married. Now she, the oldest, was the only one left after Jessica married last year. Thirty-four years old and still living with her parents. That has to change.
But first she had to get organized. She unzipped the top of her suitcase and opened it. She was stunned when she saw men’s shirts, a black toiletry bag, and a pair of church shoes tucked against one of the sides. “What is this?”
Then her stomach sank for the second time. This wasn’t her suitcase. It was Everett’s.
* * *
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