by Ellie Hall
A fresh headache threatened to put my head in a vice. “I’m not sure what to say to that.”
“Say you missed me, too.”
“That’s complicated. You should know that.”
Brittney sighed again. “I know. And I accept full responsibility for what I did. Maybe it was preemptive cold feet, but what life was throwing at us scared me and I needed to take a step back.”
“It was what life was throwing at me that scared you.”
“No. Us, honey. Could you imagine starting married life without a job? Not that it’s a problem now. I hear you’ve been offered one that’s even better than your last.”
I was stunned into silence. I hadn’t told anyone aside from Clint that I’d been offered another job with an accounting firm after weeks of sending out resumes and going to interviews. It had been a shining opportunity, but instead of gushing an immediate acceptance, I’d hesitated. At first, I couldn’t understand why, but then it hit me—I was enjoying life over the summer too much to give it up. Living downtown again would mean in part giving up Maren and that was the last thing I wanted.
“How’d you find out?” I asked.
“Having mutual friends has helped me keep up with how you’re doing.”
“Clint.” I clenched my teeth and wanted to kick something. Focusing on a small rock, I swung my foot hard enough that it ricocheted off the fence and hit me in the shin. I kept my moan locked behind my teeth.
“Can you blame him? We’re all excited for you.”
“I haven’t accepted.”
“What are you waiting for? When you do, we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.”
I stopped pacing. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I already told you I’ve missed you.”
I would have set Brittney straight right then and there if I hadn’t heard the crunch of tires at the end of the drive. I didn’t have time to stand around, humoring Brittney.
“Brittney, I’ve got to go.” I hung up to her whine of complaint.
It was satisfying to cut her off. Maybe even the same level of satisfaction as Maren got from using her sledgehammer.
Grabbing the painting supplies, I ran for the barn and tossed everything in the garbage outside and dove for the hedge of wild plums before her headlights landed on me.
I could barely see between the tangle of branches, but I could make out Granny and Maren getting out of the truck. Two doors slammed shut and while Maren got to work unloading, Granny stood at the edge of the drive with her fists planted on her hips. “Did you see that?”
“No.” Maren’s voice was weary after a day at the farmer’s market. “What was I supposed to be looking at?”
“I’m not sure what kind of creature it was.”
“Granny, if you say Bigfoot, I swear I’m going to go inside this instant to soak in a bath and leave you to unload everything.”
“I’ll have you know, I have seen Bigfoot before. Practically ran over the thing, so I got a good look at it.”
I smothered a burst of laughter with my arm.
“Granny,” Maren said, “I’ve heard your very detailed recounting many times before, but right now, I don’t want to debate whether or not you saw Bigfoot running across our driveway just now.”
“Fine. Maybe it’s not Bigfoot, but it might be the deer that’ve been helping themselves to the sweet corn. It was running that direction.”
I cursed myself for being spotted at all and looked desperately for a way to escape. I needed to shower off the evidence of my good deeds and if I didn’t move fast, Maren was sure to find me.
Maren started toward me and I panicked. Darting from my hiding spot, I sprinted for a small outbuilding, my eyes trailing behind me to try and dodge Maren. I should have been watching where I was going instead. My toe caught on a rock, and in an effort to steady myself, I swung my arms wildly. Ricocheting my shoulder off the tool shed, I bumped into a large roll of old barbed wire that was sharp enough to do some serious damage to my jeans. When I lifted my face out of the dirt, Maren’s shadow settled over me.
“Granny! You were right!” she called over her shoulder. “Bigfoot was on our property!”
I rolled to my back and sat up with what I was sure was a ridiculous grin. “I don’t think I’m nearly as hairy as him.”
“No, but Granny tells me he’s a lumbering oaf.”
“Guess I fit the description, don’t I?” I climbed to my feet and bent over to grab my ball cap, dusting it off against my leg. I stopped midway before putting it back on my head. There was something off about Maren. Her eyes sparkled deviously, but looked everywhere except at me.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Her eyes darted and her mouth drew into a thin line. “Nothing.”
Granny had followed and though she had the same glint as Maren, she didn’t hesitate to look straight at me. “Boxer briefs, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“I see you wear boxer briefs,” she enunciated.
My gaze cut over to Maren, who was rocking on her heels while staring up at the clear, twilight sky. It was getting dark, but I could tell her whole face was the color of ripe strawberries.
“So, if I’m hearing you right, my underwear’s hanging out, huh?”
“Yeah, it is,” Granny said with a cackle. “It looks like you squatted with your jeans on. Didn’t you feel a breeze?”
Since she mentioned it, yes, there was some air movement back there that wasn’t normal. I covered my rear end with my hands, trying to assess the damage. It was catastrophic. “I must have torn it on that barbed wire.”
Any embarrassment I was feeling was dismissed by Granny. “You’re not the first one to rip your clothes on barbed wire. Come on. I’ll fix you up.”
I took a step backward. “Actually, I was going to run home and shower so I could change anyway.”
“I wouldn’t change yet. Maren still needs your help unloading the truck,” Granny said.
Maren shot Granny a look. “Nick doesn’t have to do anything. We’ve unloaded the truck after the farmer's market every Saturday for years without his help.”
“When I have access to a strong body, I’m going to put it to work.” Granny turned her gaze squarely to me. “Surely, Nick isn’t going to make an old lady aggravate her sciatic nerve any more than it already is.”
She winced and sucked in a breath as she rubbed her back. Granny was laying it on thick, and there was no way I could refuse.
“Granny,” Maren said, “his…unmentionables are exposed. You wouldn’t feel comfortable working around other people with your underwear hanging out.”
“Says you.” Granny laughed. “You think I care who sees my granny panties? It’s not like I wear those strappy thongs like you young people are so fond of.”
Maren hid her face with her hands. “Oh, my gosh. I don’t wear thongs just because I’m younger than you. You know what? I’m going to start unloading. Nick, nice to see you. Granny? Please, don’t bring up anyone else’s underwear preferences.”
With that, Maren spun on her heels and marched back to her truck.
“She really is going to unload that entire truck by herself, isn’t she?” I asked.
Granny bumped her hip into me. “You’re not going to let a little ripped denim keep you from helping, are you?”
“I want to help, but Maren’s right. I’m a bit exposed at the moment.”
“I have safety pins inside that could hold together elephant skin if it’ll make you feel more modest. That girl’s so stubborn she’ll work herself to the bone.”
Maren slid two cinder blocks out of the truck bed and though she was probably the strongest woman I knew, I could see her shoulders stooping. I tried to imagine Brittney ever carrying something as heavy and it made me laugh. If it was shoes, she might make a decent effort. Otherwise, she was definitely the type to stand around and wait for someone else to do the heavy lifting, making her the polar opposite of Maren.
I no
dded. “Granny, bring me the safety pins.”
7
The day had been a scorcher, but as I sat on the front porch rocker and let my eyelids drift shut, I was refreshed by a cool breeze that was bringing in a thunderstorm to the south. Between the tops of the trees, I could see the lumpy clouds, colored by the sunset. Highlights of rippling lightning were lazily followed by distant growls of thunder.
Nick pushed his way out my front door holding two lemonades. He served one to me, plopping into the other rocker next to mine. My heart sputtered and forgot how to work and not only because he offered me lemonade.
Though I hadn’t asked, he helped me unload my truck in record time, after Granny patched his jeans together. He’d then run home to shower, promising to bring back dinner so I wouldn’t have to cook. When Nick showed up with a take ‘n’ bake pizza and a wildflower bouquet tied together with a stray piece of twine, I couldn’t have been more flattered. He’d done all of it for me, without being asked. It made me feel incredibly lucky to have his friendship, though I greedily wanted more. Having Nick as a permanent and steady figure in my life would be a blessing.
“Thanks for the lemonade,” I said, lifting my glass slightly. “And dinner and painting my fence. And the flowers. No one’s brought me a bouquet in I don’t know how long.”
“I felt like a four-year-old boy out in the ditch pulling weeds to give to his mother.”
I rested my head against the back of the chair. “It was very sweet, even the dandelions and bugs in the mix.”
“There were bugs on the flowers? Whoops.”
I reached over and laid my hand on his arm, letting the warmth of his skin seep into my fingertips. Maybe it was too forward, but I couldn’t seem to get enough of his touch. I was addicted and didn’t see any need to break my habit.
“I’m teasing. Seriously, wildflower bouquets are my favorite. I prefer sturdy flowers that can bloom into something beautiful, especially when they haven’t had a pampered life in a greenhouse. They seem more genuine.”
“Genuine, huh?”
I playfully swatted at him but he dodged it. “Quit making fun of me. So I’m not good with words.”
His eyes danced as they caught the porchlight. I wanted so badly to reach over and run a hand down his unshaven cheek, so I sat on my hands to check myself. “You’re right. I shouldn’t tease. I think genuine is the perfect way to describe wildflowers.”
“Glad you see my point.” I leaned around Nick to peer inside the windows. “Where’s Granny anyway?”
“She said she was going to bed. Something about her sciatic nerve trying to kill her again.”
I rolled my eyes. “Her back only bothers her when it’s convenient.”
A faint smile fluttered across Nick’s face. “Are you complaining about having to be alone with me?”
He’d caught me and he knew it. There was no one else I would have rather been spending my evening with, but if he was going to tease, then so could I. My eyes flicked over to his. “I suppose you’re alright.”
“Wow. Just alright?”
“Yeah. I mean, flowers, lemonade, chores, dinner aside, you forgot to bring chocolate.”
How I kept a straight face, I didn’t know.
“Chocolate?”
“Ice cream would have also been a suitable substitute. Honestly, I thought you had experience wooing women.”
I was pushing the boundaries of friendly joking, but Nick was up for the game. “I do, but there was something I didn’t anticipate.”
“Oh, really? What’s that?”
Nick leaned closer and rested his hand over mine. “There’s no other woman quite like you.”
That moment felt like an eternity, and one that I would have gladly stayed in if I didn’t need to blink or breathe. When our trance was broken, I pushed my rocker into motion with the balls of my feet and Nick copied. Our chairs squeaked out of sync, but it created its own melody that added to the nightime symphony.
Though I had turned away from him, I was sure what I had seen in his eyes was a reflection of what I was feeling for him. Everything seemed so right. There wasn’t another way to explain it and it didn’t feel like something I needed to complicate with words.
I stared out into the yard, watching the fireflies as they took turns dazzling in the darkness. I could have kept the playful banter going, but I was enjoying the sound of silence too much. Nick had given me plenty to think about, especially when it came to us…if there even was an us.
Nick was the first to speak. “Can I ask you something?”
“I’ve never been one for keeping secrets.”
Okay, not totally true.
My tongue turned dry as I thought of the very big secret of how I truly felt about Nick. It had been carefully tucked away and I knew I was being a coward for not being honest with him. All I wanted was some divine sign that we were meant to be. Was a choir of angels confirming that we were soulmates too much to ask?
Nick cleared his throat. “Why are you still living out here?”
I kept my face forward, but stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye. It was either a loaded question or completely benign, so I treaded carefully until I knew his motivations. “What do you mean? I live out here because this is where my job and home are.”
“I know, but I mean why did you choose to stay out here when it would have been easier to move back to town and have a regular nine to five job? You could have had a social life and not run yourself ragged every day. No one would have faulted you for it.”
“Why would I be concerned with what other people think of me?”
“I’m not saying you should.”
I scoffed. “You implied other people’s opinions might have swayed my decisions.”
“What’s wrong with that, though? Wanting to be around others who make you happy? And having a second to relax and go out with friends? Your whole life is consumed with your farm.”
I pinched my lips to keep my simmering frustration shut inside and cursed my emotions. Ever since Nick arrived, they’d been anything but steady and right then, I was borderline flustered. “Okay, aside from caring what other people might think of me, what else does the city have to offer that I can’t get out here?”
Nick had stopped rocking and sat up, turning toward me. “Don’t you get lonely?”
“I have Granny.”
“And she’s awesome, but she’s not going to be around forever. It seems everyone out here is a little rusty with age.”
“Rusty isn’t the most flattering description of aging, you know.”
Nick chuckled, but it was strained and did little to cut through the tension.
He wasn’t wrong, but it was an uncomfortable truth I’d been dealing with for a long time. Most of the rural kids I’d known had escaped the molasses-slow pace of life by moving to one metropolis or another where they could pretend they’d never lived anywhere else. Of the few that had chosen to stay, they’d managed to pair off so efficiently that I was the lone casualty of not finding my one-and-only fast enough.
Feeling like Nick was listing all the missed opportunities life should have owed me lit an angry fire from deep within. I knew it wasn’t Nick’s fault, but he sure made himself an easy target by bringing it up.
“So, you think I should uproot everything I’ve built here to move to the city because I have a better chance of not ending up a spinster?”
“The chances of finding someone who might interest you are greater there. It’s a percentages game.”
Forked lightning plummeted from the stormcloud and was close enough that I could feel the rumble of the thunder vibrate through me. “I go into town for the farmer’s markets often enough to know that the preppy, fashionable twenty-somethings our age want to buy my goat’s milk soap, but raise their eyebrows at my farmer’s tan. If a bunch of judgemental fakes is what giving up life out here would get me, then a big, huge, no, thank you.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a littl
e harsh? Not everyone’s a jerk just because they don’t live like you.”
Another scornful laugh stumbled out. “Admit it. If you and I hadn’t reconnected out here, if we would have passed on the streets, you would have strolled right by me without giving me a second glance.”
“Maybe.”
“Probably.”
Nick’s forehead furrowed and he frowned. “That’s an unfair assumption. I was living a different life there.”
“One that doesn’t sound like it made you very happy.”
Nick raked a hand through his hair and stood up. “Look. I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t think you’d get all wound up by trying to have a mature conversation.”
There was no way I was going to let Nick get the final word, so I shot out of my seat and held my head high as I headed for my front door. I wanted to curse my own pride for making me angry in the first place. Doubly for making it impossible for me to apologize.
“I guess this is where the evening ends. Thanks so much for all your help, but don’t feel like you need to do anything else for me ever again.” My tone was sharp as shattered glass, but Nick didn’t flinch. “Goodnight.”
As I stormed for the door, Nick grabbed my wrist and stopped me short. “Maren, I think you’ve misunderstood what I was asking and I’m sorry.”
I resisted the urge to yank away. Shame kept me from looking into his eyes, but his simple apology came at me with the force of a wrecking ball that obliterated the walls I’d thrown up.
With a deep breath, my shoulders slumped. “You want to know something?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I’m scared of ending up alone.”
“Wait.” Nick grinned in a way that made him look like a mischievous boy who’d found the last piece of chocolate in the house. “Are we talking scared as a spider being within six inches of your person?”
I shook my head. “Worse than if a hairy-legged, green-eyed, venom-dripping spider the size of my face dropped from the sky and landed in my hair.”
“Whoa. That’s quite the mental image.”
“Of course I’ve thought of dumping this all and living in the suburbs, but is it too much to ask to have it all? To stay in the home I love with the people I love?”