by Ellie Hall
“It happens so often you don’t even notice anymore?” She should pull her hand away to safety, but it felt too good.
Breck’s dark eyes sparkled. “The jealous look is a good one on you, but then everything looks good on you.”
Rissa sputtered for a response, but she couldn’t come up with one.
“You’re the epitome of successful, classy, and beautiful—the long, shiny, dark hair, the absolutely gorgeous face and toned body that looks fabulous in those pencil skirts. The British accent that makes me insane, simply aching to hear your voice and what you’ll say.” His voice dropped deep and husky and she quivered. “But it’s your goodness and beauty inside that is the reason I’m devoted to you for life, Riss.”
“Nobody calls me Riss but you.” It was just a single letter that he dropped from her name. It shouldn’t matter at all, but the way he said her nickname made her stomach dance. Devoted for life? Why couldn’t he have said those words in his usual teasing tone? With all the seemingly-sincere compliments he was showering on her she was free-falling into his romantic gorge of death. How to catch herself before she splatted as if she’d thrown herself off the Tower of London?
“Their loss. It fits you.”
“And you’re never going to commit yourself to one woman, so let’s just forget you even suggested it.” She pulled her hand back and hoped the sharp comment would give her a safety rope to hold on to and push him back to his side of the cliff.
“So sassy,” he teased, but his eyes reflected a deep sadness. The waitress was approaching with a loaded tray. “So you were bothered by some woman checking me out, eh?”
“I wasn’t … bothered.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s just … cheesy that you know every woman checks you out, and you love it.”
“I don’t love it, and it doesn’t matter to me if every woman in the world is looking.” He thanked the waitress as she set their drinks down, then he focused back on Rissa. “There’s only one woman I want checking me out.”
Rissa couldn’t hold his gaze and she called herself all kinds of names for being so wimpy. Then she started calling him worse names, grateful her mum wasn’t privy to her thoughts. Why was Breck doing this to her? Three years since he’d ripped her heart out and she’d stayed strong. She’d built a brilliant life for herself without him, without any man. Sure, she dated, but she never allowed it to get serious. How could Breck yank her back in with his tender looks, his irresistible touch, his sweet words, and create an insatiable desire to spend every minute with him?
She toyed with another bite of salad but couldn’t force herself to eat anymore. Glancing away from the too-handsome man who was still gazing at her as if waiting for her to confirm that she was the woman for him, she studied the rest of the wedding party. Besides Summer’s friends and their husbands, she could easily pick out some guests as family members of either the groom or the bride. A smashing-looking group overall, and everyone seemed to be enjoying the bash.
Her eyes caught on a gorgeous brunette who was laughing with the man seated next to her. The recognition was instantaneous for Rissa, and it felt like someone had just shoved a hot poker into her abdomen.
The girl glanced over and noticed Rissa staring at her. She didn’t seem to recognize Rissa. Not that she should. Why would the woman who’d destroyed her life know her? Her eyes flickered to Breck, of course. She gave a coy smile and a little wave, then turned away. Rissa’s entire body was rigid. It couldn’t be the same girl. Please, please let it be the woman’s twin. Why would she be here? Did Breck invite her? Why was he sitting next to Rissa when the woman he cheated on Rissa with was less than fifty feet away?
“Riss?” Breck touched her hand. “You’re freezing, love. Are you all right?”
Rissa closed her eyes. The pain washed over her anew. Breck lifting that beautiful girl off her feet then holding her close as they went to snog. She’d known in that instant that every rumor about him was true. Rissa wasn’t the love of his life; she was just another skirt for him. Her dad’s voice had been there for her, and she’d sprinted away from the scene in Breck’s office that day. She could almost imagine he was telling her now, Run, my girl, run.
Escaping was the only option for her right now.
She thought she mumbled, “Pardon me,” but wasn’t sure as she pushed back from the table and walked swiftly away from the wedding party.
She ripped off her heels and broke into a run as she passed the trucks they’d rode up in. “Riss,” she heard Breck calling to her and upped her speed.
She dodged mud puddles and sprinted down the mountain road. It didn’t matter that she was barefoot and had no clue how far away her hotel was. She might get lost in these mountains. As long as she was away from that girl, and Breck, she could survive.
“Riss!” Breck caught her much too quickly. He reached for her arm, but she pulled free and ran off the left side of the road, into the thick trees. It was foolish behavior, especially for a city girl, but being mauled by a bear or mountain lion sounded preferable to explaining to Breck why she’d completely lost the plot.
Branches scratched at her face and arms. Her blouse sleeve snagged and tried to slow her down. She tore it free, realizing she probably looked like the worst kind of git. Rocks and twigs pummeled the soles of her feet. She didn’t care. She kept running. Her toe caught on a root and she went down hard. Slamming into the uneven ground, her shoes went flying from her grasp. Her hands took the brunt of the beating, but she scratched up her knees also.
“Humiliation complete, Lord,” she muttered. Was her dad up their helping her or not? “Wasn’t denying myself a kiss from Breck and seeing the woman he cheated with punishment enough?”
She lived right, went to church, donated to charities, visited the elderly, was kind to her employees, worked hard. Didn’t she deserve a break? Yet maybe this all was heavenly intervention. Her dad’s way of protecting her from more hurt as he’d done three years ago.
“Rissa!” Breck was there before she even attempted to pull herself out of her misery. He dropped to his knees beside her. Rissa rolled over with a groan and sat up. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until the tears dropped from her chin down to her chest.
“Are you okay?” Breck whispered.
She stared at him. No, she wasn’t ruddy okay. She’d never be okay without him, but she couldn’t tell him that. She shook her head and tried to push to her feet. Breck wrapped his arms around her, tugging her to him before she could stand. He sat back against a tree, pulled her onto his lap like a little ankle biter, and simply held her.
It was too much. Rissa didn’t fight the tears anymore. Three years of missing him, denying that she wanted him, and now here he was, holding her. With her dad’s voice in her head saying to run and that woman who had torn them apart half a mile away, eating salad and wondering where her boyfriend had gone. Rissa barked a harsh laugh. That woman probably had no more hold on Breck than Rissa did. He’d most likely forgotten all about that brunette once she wasn’t a challenge to conquer.
Breck pulled back and stared at her. “You’re scaring me, love. What’s going on?”
Rissa shook her head and blew out a breath. “Please stop calling me love. We both know it’s not true.”
Breck blinked at her. “Riss. If you would only believe me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to call love.”
“Ha!” She tried to break free from his grasp, but he was too strong. “Let me go.”
“If you want me to, I will, but, please, please don’t want me to, Riss.” He relaxed his hold and brushed a hand through her hair, dislodging some twigs. He picked them out and smiled gently at her. “Three years. Three long, lonely, desperate years I’ve wanted to see you, hold you, talk about why you ran from me, but you would never let me. Please don’t run away now. I can’t wait another three years to see you again.”
His words were so tender, so heartfelt, and such a beautifully-crafted lie. The only response she had was dissol
ving into sobs again. The tears came in a rush, and they clogged her throat and made it impossible to respond to him. She buried her face in his suitcoat and sobbed. Part of her knew she needed to get it together. Breck probably thought she was mad, and she looked the opposite of the professional, formal, British CEO she’d worked so many hours to become.
Yet she needed this cry almost as much as she needed him. She was ruining his suitcoat and he wouldn’t want to see her for at least three years after this display of emotion, but his hands rubbing against her silky shirt, sitting on his lap like this, it was a dream come true and nightmarish anguish at the same time. She’d missed him like she could never describe and as soon as he let her go, she’d never see him again. She couldn’t handle ever seeing him again. Would she live alone her entire life like her mum had? Mourning her only true love lost?
Finally, she decided she had to crack on and pulled back from his beautiful arms. He was watching her with too much concern in his eyes. “Is all this for me? Have I hurt you, Riss?”
She blinked at him. Had he hurt her? Yes, he had hurt her. Gutted her. Devastated her. Every single, miserable day.
“I would never want to hurt you.”
Rissa pulled free and pushed to her feet. Breck stood quickly, and without her heels on, he had her by half a foot. She’d always thought they were a brilliant height for each other.
“You have no blinding idea what you’re talking about, and I don’t appreciate you claiming you care,” she muttered. “Every woman is only a toy piece to you.” She wanted to run, but she held her ground and looked into his eyes so he would know she was serious and wouldn’t chase her. She’d faced down entire board rooms and stood strong in her convictions. She could win against Breck’s beseeching eyes. Those dark eyes that usually sparkled with humor and mischief were now serious as they studied her.
“You’ve never been a game to me. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted. The one I care for as much as my own family.”
She wanted to believe him, everything in her begged her to believe him, but the proof was in the pudding. Every photo on the internet with a different girl. Every old chum of hers from college who still lived in Charlotte, informing her about all the women he went through over the years. The past seven months or so, people had mercifully stopped informing her about him and all his women and she’d finally gotten strong enough not to search the pictures out.
“Aargh!” she screamed, hating herself for being weak for him, hating this entire situation. Why had she come? She’d thought she could be strong with him, but apparently she was a jellyfish or the mouse who wanted to be caught by the tiger. Breck could never be labeled a simple cat. “You’re making me bonkers! I can’t do this with you.”
She turned away, but Breck caught her arm and turned her back. “Do what, love? Why can’t you give us a chance? Why did you run away from me three years ago and refuse to see me since?”
The years melted away. After her dad passed, her mum had begged her to make something of herself. Her life had been focused on working hard, getting the full-ride scholarship, making her parents proud on both sides of heaven. She’d moved to America for the opportunity to complete her MBA at UNC’s business school, Kenan-Flagler’s. She’d been nearing the end of her program when a chum introduced her to Breck. The connection had been instantaneous, and she was certain she’d found the love of her life. They only dated a couple of months, but Breck was fun, romantic, smart, successful—brilliantly everything she’d wanted. She’d never experienced life like she did with Breck. He made every moment sparkle and shine and might be the only person since she’d lost her dad who could make her laugh and simply enjoy herself.
When she’d seen him snogging that girl, it had all crashed down and she’d listened to what she thought was her dad’s voice telling her to run. She’d never told Breck why. Could she explain it all now? She loved him more than she could ever admit, but she’d been smart to break it off. Breck could never settle down.
“I didn’t run. I needed space.” That was a lie. She’d felt that voice from her dad telling her to run, and she’d listened.
His dark eyes penetrated through her. “I’ve given you lots of space.”
“I’m sure it was difficult for you, dating a different woman every week.”
Breck’s eyebrows rose. “Keeping tabs on me, love?”
“That’s what mates do,” she insisted, folding her arms across her chest, forcing him to release his grip on her forearm. She couldn’t handle any more physical touch from him. The emotional touch was bad enough.
“You’ve been a good mate to me,” he said, his voice low and soothing, “But I need more. A true mate, an American mate, if you know what I mean.”
Rissa’s heart rate sped up. She knew what the Americans thought “mate” meant. Marriage, a soul mate. Her body filled with joy that she quickly pushed away. How dare Breck go there? “Need or want?”
His grin appeared then, and she knew she wasn’t going to survive this conversation emotionally intact. “Both, love.” He took a step closer and although she kept her arms folded, his chest brushed against them, sending off alarms in her head. “I need you close and I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone.”
Rissa had to back up. She unclenched her arms and grabbed hold of a tree branch next to her for support. “I’m not one of your flings, Breck.”
“I know that.” He nodded. “Believe me, I know that. I’ve learned that lesson well the past three years. The last thing I want from you is a fling.”
“What do you want from me?”
He smiled again, but this time it was gentle. “I want all of you, Riss. I want you by my side morning, noon, and especially night. I want you today and every day until I die, then I pray a merciful Lord will let me have you by my side in heaven.”
Rissa stared at him, her mouth sliding open and then closing. She probably looked like a helpless git; she sure felt like one. Could she believe his speech, any of it? “Breck,” she finally whispered. “I fell so hard for you, but you couldn’t even be committed to me for a couple of months. How can you claim to want me for life? Because I swear I am not barmy enough to share you with any other woman.” The last few words were said so vehemently that she expected him to back up a step. He came closer instead, gently touching her cheek and causing her to tremble all over.
“I wouldn’t even notice another woman if I had you.”
“Ha!” She barked out. “You want to know why I ran today? Why I ran three years ago?” Besides her dad’s warning, but that felt too personal to share and he might think she was crazy if she did share. Someone who hadn’t lost a parent might not understand.
“I’d give away my company to know.”
Rissa was certain he was exaggerating now. He’d worked harder to build Mumford’s Sons with his brother than even she had worked to make PJ’s Fun Zone skyrocket. Yet the seriousness in his voice couldn’t be denied.
“Don’t exaggerate, please.”
“I’m not,” he insisted. “Please, Riss.” His deep brown eyes seemed to peel away her defenses. “Please tell me.”
“If I tell you, will you stop pursuing me?” As soon as the words were out, she regretted them. Despite how wanky it was, she didn’t know that she wanted him to stop pursuing her.
He took a long breath and pushed a hand at his hair. “If you tell me and we can’t work out whatever the issue is … I’ll stop pursuing you.”
Silence stretched between them. It was all such a stew of mess, the depth of her feelings for him, the way he’d gutted her. Suddenly she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
She swallowed and finally admitted, “That perfect little brunette.”
Breck’s hand dropped and his forehead wrinkled. “What brunette?”
Rissa drew a long breath. “Three years ago, I came to your office to see you. It was the day before graduation.”
He nodded. “You didn’t walk at graduation. I had no clue where you’d g
one.”
“You claimed you didn’t have time for a sub that day, so I brought it to you. I saw you snogging that brunette. The one who’s here today.”
“I have no idea …” His eyes widened and a second later he connected it. “Lucy?”
Rissa’s voice was fire. “I don’t know her name.” In fact, she wished the girl didn’t have a name. It made it all too real and horrible.
“Long, dark hair, small, right? Like five feet nothing?”
Rissa gave a jerky nod.
Breck shook his head and laughed. Why on earth did he laugh? Couldn’t he see her pain? He sobered quickly, crossed the distance between them, and cupped her face with his palms. She wanted to pull away, but simply couldn’t do it.
“Oh, love. Lucy is my cousin. That day you saw us at the office, I hadn’t seen her in over a year because she’d been doing volunteer work in South America and then went to California for school. I remember picking her up and hugging her because I was so excited to see her, and she probably kissed me. She always does. Chance and I always joke about how we have to turn our heads quick, or she gets us on the lips.” He gave a half-laugh again. “She’s here for Chance’s wedding. What you saw was completely innocent. I swear I never cheated on you, and I never would.”
Rissa’s mind was spinning. His cousin. Oh, my, no! She’d ruined the past three years because she saw him picking up, spinning, and kissing his cousin! She blinked quickly, forcing herself not to cry again. She’d cried enough today, but honestly this was a wanky nightmare.
“Breck, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you?” He gazed at her incredulously. “Riss, I didn’t have a clue why you left. I chased after you and couldn’t find you in Ohio or Sheffield. You kept sending me these messages that you just needed space and that you just wanted to be friends. I’ve done everything I could these past three years to break through your walls, and I’ve been rebuffed for everything but a ‘mate.’ What else did you expect me to do?”