by Ellie Hall
I nod to the disgusting poop stain on his shirt and grin. “There’s poo on you.” I can’t even get the words out without cracking up.
Kai doesn’t look down. Instead, he continues to walk toward Henry, who’s happily kicking his feet in the air while I steady him.
“Nice try.” Kai shifts into more of a swagger, strutting confidently toward the baby until his arm brushes against the smelly glob.
Suddenly his face freezes in horror.
A stifled laugh sounds low in my throat.
Kai jerks to a stop midstride and peers cautiously down at his shirt. His eyes change, both going bottlecap big as he spots the gooey-looking smudge, a blend of mustard yellow and poop-emoji brown.
This time the laugh sneaks through my tightened lips as I watch the big strong guy who handled the diaper like a champ go pale with horror. Already, it looks like he might hurl, but then he notices the smudge on his inner arm.
Suddenly Kai lifts his chin and gasps in a breath to get control of himself, but I can tell it’s not going to work. This Daddy for a Day is going to gag!
He jerks forward in one sudden heave, a hand moving to cover his mouth.
“You’ve got this,” I encourage while another giggle sneaks up my throat.
Only Kai doesn’t have it at all. Another reflexive jerk thrusts him forward. This time it’s more than just a gag. This time, Kai throws up. All over the floor.
6
Day 4
Familiar music trickles from the speaker as I sit in the library with Kai.
Today’s date was uneventful compared to our parenting practice the day before. We spent the entire day chopping, prepping, baking, and cooking a five-course meal. And just when we thought we were going to sit down and eat it, we were told via intercom to serve it—in uniform, I might add—to none other than Colt Findley, who swirled his wine glass, swished his first sip, then spit it back in the glass and told us it sucked.
Luckily, the tables turned, and we were able to sit down and enjoy the meal ourselves, minus the regurgitated glass of wine. The soup, salad, bread, filet mignon with herbed potatoes, and chocolate cream torte had been outstanding and worth all of our effort.
We went through five whole counseling cards after that. My favorite, hands down, was the card prompting us to share favorite memories of our fathers. It was good to hear that Kai and his dad were in a better place, something he’d told me after sharing his favorite memory, which involved the time he taught him to catch a football.
I don’t have many memories of my dad, but the one that has always stood out to me is the time we’d gone to a ball game. My dad had taken me by surprise when he propped his fingertips partly into his mouth and piped out a long, loud whistle. He said he’d teach me one day, but he never stuck around long enough to do it.
Kai, after all those years, corrected that tonight with step-by-step instruction. “Make two peace signs, now close up your fingers, place them at your lips and curl your tongue back with them.”
“Thanks again for teaching me to whistle,” I say, still surprised that it worked.
Kai rests against the beanbag and sighs. “Any time,”
Nighttime is already closing in on our fourth day, and we’re leaving on day five, which means my time with Kai is almost through.
I have a vague idea of how this thing will end, but only because I’ve watched other Time Warp episodes where the couples are forced to make a decision. Will they continue to work on the relationship or go their separate ways? All I know is that I am not ready to say goodbye to Kai.
A deep dart rips through me at the thought. It makes me want to pull Kai close and hold tight to him forever. But it also makes me want to pull away, fast and thorough, and try to erase all the new memories we made. I’m not capable of nursing another broken heart.
“I can’t believe I barfed over baby poop yesterday,” Kai says with a groan.
“You’re still thinking about that?” I grin, enjoying the recollection more than I should. “At least you don’t make babies cry.”
Kai’s head tips far back so he faces the ceiling, but at my words, he straightens up and sets his gaze on me. “You make grown men cry too,” he accuses.
I half expected him to say something like that. What I didn’t expect was the wounded expression I see on his face. Stirs of warmth dance around my heart, threatening to uncover the part I buried long ago. The regret I carry for giving Kai the ultimatum in the first place.
Yes, it’s there. But I don’t want to admit it or indulge it or give it an ounce of merit.
“I guess I wasn’t exactly a grown man at the time,” Kai says, drifting his head back and letting his eyes close once more.
I remember when he used to do this. It takes me back to the times he’d been stressed over the pressure from his dad—a man whose intentions were better than his severe approach. He always expected a lot from Kai, and Kai hated to disappoint.
I glance at the counseling cards, wondering if I can sift through them to find one that tells me to kiss him again. But then a new idea comes to me. This time is ours after all. And if I want to scoot over and kiss Kai—the way I used to when he would tip his head back like this—I can.
I scoot closer, my mind flashing back to all the times I’d done this before. The first time was after Kai fumbled the final game-hinging toss during a football game junior year. He’d been sitting on the ground against the bottom bleacher after the place cleared out, head tipped up to the sky, eyes clenched shut.
Even in the shadow of the light post’s glow, I had seen the anguish on his face—the furrowed brow and clenched jaw. I imagined him pleading with the heavens for a do-over. I’d have done anything to take his pain away in that moment. So I did exactly what came to mind. I steadied myself on tall knees, hovered over him for a blink, and then pressed my lips to his.
Kai hadn’t been expecting it, but that hadn’t stopped him from returning my kiss. We ended up kissing forever that night, it seemed.
In the times that followed, I almost wondered if he was baiting me. Going into despair mode so that I’d be the one to move in, brush my lips against his, and distract him from the worries in that handsome head of his.
I wonder the same thing now. There he is, in that oh-so-familiar pose, all self-loathing and sighing.
I nudge in closer, steadying myself with one hand on his shoulder. With the other, I trace my fingertips lightly over his chiseled jaw. A stinging ache sinks deep into my heart. This is the face I love. Kai is the only guy I’ve ever loved. And heaven help me, but I’m in love with him even still.
Kai keeps his eyes closed and exhales a jagged breath, hot against my thumb as I trace his mouth.
Tingles of anticipation rush over my skin as I lick my lips, lower my head, and ever so lightly press my mouth against his. Timid at first, testing, but still so, so good.
Mmm.
As I move in a second time, I part my lips. Kai does too. His kiss is hot, inviting, and hungry. He raises his head to take more, sliding his hands around my hips and thrilling me with a firm squeeze.
A whimper gets caught in my throat. Kai echoes the sound with a raspy sigh of his own.
I sink into the bliss of his glorious mouth on mine as he kisses me again, a long, lingering motion that has me fisting his shirt with both hands.
I remind myself that this is real. Kai is here in the flesh, wanting me as much as I want him. Even more, he’s moving back to Arizona, where he plans to stay. There’s no reason we can’t make this work if we both want to. And at this moment, I want that more than anything.
That thought plays over my mind as Kai pulls away from the beanbag and moves to lie on the floor, encouraging me to join him.
I don’t hesitate.
I move onto the plush carpet and curl into his cologne-scented chest.
Kai’s legs weave through mine. He cradles my face, his gaze locked on me. The depths of those brown wonders melt me in a million ways.
�
�I want you back,” he breathes, and moves in to kiss me again. This time, there’s something new in his kiss—a spark of urgency. We only have one day left. Soon Kai will head back to California to finish school. Soon the reality TV show that brought us to this place will demand an answer—will we work on the relationship or decide we’re better off apart?
I let Kai’s whispered confession wash over me. Assure me. He wants me back. I only hope that means he’s willing to give me what I need.
7
Day 5
A bout of nausea thrashes through me as I zip up my shiny pink case. A sense of déjà vu floats in the air, giving the name of the show—Time Warp—a whole new meaning.
Here I am in the same dress I showed up in five days ago, ready to lug my pink case back to the town car. And here I am, still wondering just what’s going on in Kai’s mind.
Yes, we’ve made a lot of progress. And yes, he told me right out loud that he wants me back. But does that mean he’s willing to give me the one thing I need to put our past behind us? The one thing I told Colt Findley and all of America that I need?
I can’t back out now.
The school bell chimes over the speaker, and Colt Findley’s voice blasts out. “We hope you’ve enjoyed your stay here, Tucson High alumni. Please make your way to the magic bookcase, one at a time. You’ll be directed from there. Oh, and wheel your suitcases to the front door on your way. Kai, you go first. Nikki, stay put and wait for my cue.”
A round of fireworks goes off in my chest. This is torture.
“Hey, Nikki?” I hear someone say from the hallway. It’s Kai.
Colt comes from the intercom. “No communicating before our final exercise, please.”
“Her suitcase is broken,” Kai explains. “I’m going to get it to the front door for her.”
“Well, well. Kai, Kai, he’s a heck of a guy,” Colt sings. “Nikki, can you hobble your Pepto parcel over to the door for Kai?”
I tug the big case off the bed. Kai is one heck of a guy, and I can’t help but swoon over the thoughtful gesture. I drag the heavy thing to the door, fling it open, and see a very tentative-looking Kai in the doorway.
A spark of fear bolts through me, though I’m not even sure why.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, reaching in to secure the case from the side handle. He carries it down the hallway toward the front door. I step away from the doorway, not willing to be in his line of view if he walks back this way.
My heart is clanking like some loose vessel in the hollow of my chest. Kai didn’t even look at me. And his mannerisms were so…off.
I expected to see him leaning casually against the door, a hand in his pocket, and a smile on his face. I expected him to raise a flirtatious brow, say something playful, maybe even try to sneak in a kiss.
It’s fine, Nikki. Everything’s fine.
But it doesn’t feel fine. It feels like somehow, in a matter of minutes, my life is about to fall apart for the second time. I can see my heart now, frantically trying to rebuild the walls I tore down to let him in.
Colt is probably directing Kai in the final decision-making episode. I feel like it’s my turn to throw up now; no diaper disaster necessary. Just this sick, sick emotion. This tortured fear that I’m about to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
“Okay, Nikki,” Colt pipes from the intercom. “Kai is settled into place. Please head to the bookcase.”
My heart pounds impossibly faster as I step out and head down the hall. I fill my lungs with as much air as I can suck into them, then slowly release through pursed lips.
My limbs loosen. My heart calms. But the worry in my head is making up the difference. Working my poor body into a frenzy once more.
I feel bruised as I walk, pained from head to toe by the potential alone.
I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I say aloud this time, knowing Colt can hear me. I stop in my tracks once the library comes into view. “What happens if I back out now?”
“Ummm…your contract will be void,” Colt answers through the intercom, an edge of fear on his voice. That’s code for you won’t get paid.
Figures. But do I even care about that anymore? I picture Kai’s expression at the door. So guarded and cold. It’s exactly how he acted when he announced he was going to California despite the ultimatum I’d given him.
“And,” Colt came again, “You’ll miss out on your chance to see how this ends. You and Kai might have a future. Why would you walk out on that?”
Might. That’s just it. This could go either way.
Still, I can’t back out now. I set my eyes on the revolving bookcase and suck in a breath of courage. I can do this.
I push my way through.
The spacious area is dark save for a brightly lit platform with a freestanding wall. Along that wall are three numbered doors. Kai’s nowhere in sight. I glance around, waiting for Colt Findley to appear.
He doesn’t, but his voice does.
“What you see before you,” Colt says through the speaker, “is what Kai—who’s standing on the other side of this wall—sees before him. Notice the numbers on each door. Your job is to pick the door that represents your decision.
“Now,” Colt continues, “during your video diary, you gave me a make-or-break rule, saying that if Kai didn’t…blah blah blah, you would not take him back. If that rule still stands, you will walk up to door number one when I give the cue.”
I stare at the bright red number one on the door. Sweat coats my palms. A blast of heat fills my face.
“If you’re willing to abandon your previously stated condition to pursue this second chance with Kai, you’ll walk up to door number two.
There are no doormats before these doors, but if I choose that option—door number two—I’ll be the doormat. I roll my shoulders back.
“There’s a third option,” Colt continues. “If you’d like to get out of this thing entirely…if you’ve decided that you don’t want to pursue a relationship with Kai, then you’ll step up to door number three to make that known.”
He keeps addressing me, not Kai. I glance up to where a camera slides slowly across an industrial-looking bar, capturing a birds-eye view of the action.
“So has Kai already made his choice?” I ask.
“Yes,” comes Colt’s reply. “Kai has made his, and now it’s time for you to make yours. Which will it be, Nikki? Door number one, door number two, or door number three?”
A gulp works its way down my tightened throat. The overhead camera says it all—everyone will be watching this soon. Watching me go back on the one condition I set if I walk up to that second door. The door that’s calling louder to me than all the others. But I cannot walk up to that door.
It’s the weakness in me that wants it, and I can’t give in to that weakness. If Kai truly cares about me, he’ll be willing to give me what I need.
I clear my throat, step onto the platform, and walk directly to door number one. My head goes fuzzy and light as I look at the doorknob.
“Now that you have both made your decision,” Colt says over the speaker, “I’m going to play back your make-or-break conditions. This time, we’ll go ladies first. Listen up, Kai. This is Nikki answering the following prompt. I could never take Kai back if…” He stops there, and the sound of my voice fills the room.
“If he couldn’t take full responsibility for what he’s done. It’s important to me that Kai realizes that he is the reason it ended between us, not me.”
I cringe. I never have liked the sound of my own voice, but right now, it’s particularly grating. Howler monkeys sound more civilized.
Colt’s response comes next. “You’re saying that—if he refused to take sole responsibility, that you would not want to work at the relationship?”
“Yes,” comes my recorded reply. “That’s what I’m saying.”
I groan inwardly, half thinking it’s the exact right answer and half
worrying that I’ve been foolishly rigid.
“Now it’s time for Kai’s.”
My racing heartbeat echoes so loudly in my head that I worry I might miss Kai’s answer. But then I hear him.
“I could not get back with Nikki if she refused to admit that her ultimatum was unfair. Our separation would have been temporary. She’s the one who made it permanent.”
My mouth drops open. My heart skips at least five full beats. I replay his response in my head, hating every single word of it.
My fault? What is happening? What have I done in life to deserve this? Kai couldn’t have said a worse thing.
“Now is the moment of truth,” Colt says. “First, let me put your minds at ease and say that neither of you has chosen door number three.”
A rush of relief sweeps in at this news. Before this morning, I wouldn’t have imagined Kai making that choice. But who knows where his head is at now?
“If you had both chosen that option, you’d have opened your doors, said your goodbyes, and driven off into the hot Arizona sunset alone. But neither of you wants to walk out. That says something.
“Now, when I give you the signal, you’ll each attempt to open your door. This could go one of three ways. If you’re both standing at door number two, you’ll twist the knob, and the door will open, signifying open minds, new beginnings, and a second chance at romance. In this scenario, you’ll spend the rest of day five enjoying a luxury date before saying your goodbyes.
“Alternately, if you’ve both opted for number one, your doors will be locked. Yes,” he added, “we can control the mechanisms from here because we’re just that powerful.” Colt cleared his throat. “A locked door represents a lack of resolution because there will be no resolve. It will be as if you’d both chosen door number three. The only difference is there will be no last hug. No final words. Not even a last, longing glance. You’ll each make your exit, one at a time, and refrain from communicating until our follow-up show next week.”