by Dale Mayer
“No,” she said. “They came to me just before I was due to walk down the aisle.”
Her laughter held a note of bitterness that he could fully understand. “I’m very sorry you had to go through that.”
“For a long time, I wasn’t a very nice person, and I wished all kinds of ill on top of them,” she admitted. “I was angry. I was hurt. Now, I’d like to think I have let it go, and I’ve moved on a bit.”
“How long ago was this?”
“Six months,” she said in a thoughtful tone, “almost seven now. And the further away I get from that day, the more I realize I didn’t really love him. This little inkling had always been inside me that realized something was not quite right. He wasn’t the same man who I’d started going out with by the time we were due to walk down the aisle. I figured it was just stress at work, but he stopped sharing things with me and closed himself off a lot.”
“Well, obviously he was very conflicted, having gotten himself on two diverging paths that he wasn’t happy with.”
“Exactly,” she said. “And, of course, he hurt a lot of people in the process.”
“Yes, indeed.”
“And yet the wedding still had to be paid for,” she said as she gave another bitter laugh. “A lot of that was on my credit cards. He got to walk away without very much to pay off. His brother was doing the catering for the wedding reception, and I don’t know how they worked out that bill between them, but I didn’t pay for it. I paid for the church and the minister and the wedding dress, as well as the bridesmaid dresses, including the one my supposed girlfriend was wearing.”
He winced at that. “Ouch and double ouch.”
She smiled. “And I probably should have shared my tale of woe with more people over time,” she said, “because I really do feel better right now. So, thank you for that.”
He gave a startled laugh. “Hey, if it makes you feel better, great. I’m just sorry that I asked you and that you had to bring it up here and that you had to actually deal with it back then.”
“And, yeah, well, it’s better that it’s something in my past instead of something to still work on,” she said. “I can’t imagine it happening to anybody now. As I look back, I realized I should have called him out on all the changes in his personality and tried to figure it all out sooner. But I didn’t.”
“Hey, communication—true communication—is a two-way street. Why is the onus on you to figure out what your fiancé’s story is? Like you said yourself, they both failed to share this with you. Which is why I hate secrets and people who keep them. It’s always a selfish motive, serving some selfish purpose for them, that they don’t dare speak of or things would change. Your fiancé obviously wanted to keep both you and the other woman. How is that fair to anyone?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Plus I was caught up in being happy and getting married and heading toward starting the family I’d always wanted.” She gave her head a shake. “But love is blind. And it lets you avoid things that you know are red flags. Things that you should be worried about but aren’t yet.”
“You do seem to have dealt with it amazingly well at this point, considering that was not even a year ago.”
“Well, I didn’t think I had, but something is magical about this place,” she said with a smile.
“It’s healing, isn’t it?”
“In many ways. And in some other ways that I hadn’t really expected,” she said, as she waved her arm out at the pastures of green all around the pathways in the gardens. “It’s hard to be upset or angry when you can see what people here are really going through, like yourself. And my problems seem very small and insignificant.”
“I don’t think small and insignificant apply in this case,” he said in a serious tone, “because they’re still huge to you. The fact that you’re now capable of talking about it and appear to be ready to move on helps, shows how much you’ve worked through this. It was a hard blow, and it was a betrayal by somebody who was supposed to be your partner in life. And a second betrayal by a supposed friend.” Then he sighed. “It was also a lucky escape.”
“And I’ll gladly focus on that,” she said.
Her words reverberated in Jaden’s mind throughout the next few days. They saw each other a few times socially, other than as strictly business appointments of a nurse on his medical team. Jaden and Brianna stopped long enough in their busy lives to have coffee a few times and even managed a meal together here and there. But other than that, his focus had turned inward to healing.
And he understood what she must have gone through for the last six, seven months. He’d been through so much himself, although his accident was over eight months ago. Yet he’d stagnated at the last place. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he’d realized that this was only as far as he could go, so he had stuffed any hopes away all inside. He would make peace with it, if so. It was the hand he had been dealt, right?
But then he also felt like the previous medical staff had figured that’s as far as Jaden would go too. Whereas, like Iain had said, new eyes on Jaden’s medical file and his own body had made a huge difference. Shane was looking at this in a completely different manner than Jaden’s former PTs had. It wasn’t that it was right or wrong. It’s just Shane didn’t have the same history that Jaden’s last center had.
Shane started fresh with Jaden, with no preconceived notions, and Shane also had a different set of skills. And now, five days later, Jaden had slowly begun to retrain his body to sit properly and to listen to his good leg to know when to take a break when needed. And, with Shane’s not-easy massages but definitely workable ones, Jaden had found some of his body parts shifting in a much easier flow when he sat, when he stood.
“Have you ever done yoga?” Shane asked Jaden on the Monday after he’d been here for now almost two weeks.
“Yes,” he said. “And I quit immediately because men were just not meant to bend into those pretzel shapes.”
“Says you,” Shane said with a laugh. “Stop thinking about the size of the muscles and start thinking about what the muscles are meant to do.”
Jaden just rolled his eyes. “So, what now? You want me to do yoga?”
“It would be a very good idea, but you’re not quite there yet. I figure in another six weeks, we’ll start you on yoga.”
“And the purpose being?”
“Balance, flow, and posture. How’s that for a start?”
“I felt sure you’d put flexibility in there.”
“Absolutely,” Shane said, chuckling. “I forgot that one, didn’t I?”
“Yeah,” Jaden said. He was surprised to realize he could sit back and relax a little bit more every day.
“At least you’re not quite so tense,” Shane noted.
“No,” he said. “I am starting to relax and to realize that Hathaway House will not gobble me up and eat me whole.”
“Is it such a scary place?” Shane asked in surprise.
“Not so much scary but different. And, when you’re not whole, change is scary.”
Shane stopped, thought about that, and then nodded. “It’s one thing for me to face traveling around the world when I’m physically whole,” he said. “But I imagine, for you, it’s worrying about whether all your needs can be met at every step of the way.”
“And how difficult and how challenging and whether I’ll physically have the capability or the mentality or have the physical strength or the emotional stability,” Jaden added. “I used to travel a lot, and, since my accident, I don’t even think I want to travel anywhere now.”
“Fear?”
“Potentially,” Jaden said, rotating his neck ever-so-slightly to ease up the tension there. Just having this conversation tightened up his neck. And, of course, Shane noticed.
Shane smiled and said, “Let me show you a few different breathing exercises to help release some of that stress you’re holding in your neck.” By the time they finished those, their session was almost over.
“I meant to as
k,” Jaden said, “when can I get into that pool?”
“Next week,” Shane said.
“Well, that was fast,” he said. “I figured I would have to fight you for it.”
“No, not at all. But, at one point in time,” he said, “everybody gets into the pool, as long as it’s something they want or are willing to do. Some people don’t like water, but most of the guys I get through here are water bugs.”
“Well, that would be me,” Jaden said. “Not to mention the euphoric feeling of being weightless and the ease of movement, free from the joint pain.”
“Exactly,” he said. “It’s one of the hardest things to adapt to, finding your body cumbersome and awkward and not moving the way you want it to. Yet you can go into the water, and you’re weightless, and everything moves and shifts the way it was meant to. Or at least a little better than otherwise. And then you come back up on land again, and it’s a harsh adjustment.”
“True enough. If swimming’s something I can do though,” Jaden said quietly, “I’d like to get into that pool as fast as possible.”
Shane studied him for a long moment. “How serious are you? Do you want to start today, or are you willing to wait until next week?”
“Today,” he said immediately.
Shane gave a slow and steady nod. “In that case,” he said, “I suggest we go see just what your abilities are.”
“I was a Navy SEAL,” Jaden said with a quirk of his lips. “Water is my home.”
“And I’ve heard that before too,” Shane said. “What you used to do and what you can do now are currently two different things.”
“Ouch,” Jaden said. “Leave me some fantasies, won’t you?”
“No,” Shane said. “It’s all about reality here. And building a whole new future but one that you can achieve.”
“Still, let’s try the pool now,” Jaden said forcefully.
Shane looked at his watch and said, “It’s almost lunchtime.”
“But my afternoon is all appointments,” Jaden said. “Doctors and things. So, we could do the pool now, and then I could have a late lunch and then do my appointments.” Shane hemmed and hawed, as if not sure, and Jaden pressed the point. “It’s the only way to know what I’ll be ready for.”
Shane laughed. “Fine, but only if you’re at the pool in fifteen minutes.”
“Got it,” he said. “I’ll be there in ten.”
And he took off.
Chapter 5
Brianna took her lunch and sat out on the deck. She’d opted for a big chunk of sandwich with as many vegetables as could possibly be packed between two slices of bread, plus a big salad. Dennis had approved and handed her the concoction with a big grin. It had required a skewer to hold it together. She looked at it, shook her head, and said, “I know you think I have a big mouth, Dennis, but …”
He burst out laughing. “No,” he said. “I bet you can squish that down and do real justice to it.”
She wasn’t so sure, but she now sat outside, well away from the crowd, where she could eat her sandwich and enjoy it in a perfect mess because no way could she eat something like this ladylike. She heard the splashing from the pool down below, but she wasn’t in a position to see who was there. She picked up her sandwich, and, by squeezing one corner, she managed to get her mouth around it and took her first bite.
It was absolutely delicious. So she was grateful she’d chosen to eat outside, where nobody could laugh at the dribbles coming down her chin. As it was, she had to secure her napkin around her neck to make sure she preserved her scrubs.
As she ate slowly, she could hear a couple voices calling out, and she cocked her head slightly and realized one of the voices was Jaden. He was talking to Shane. She didn’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation, and she was surprised he was still out there and not getting ready for lunch. She had deliberately come early, thinking he would be here too.
Realizing he would not join her now, she shifted slightly so that she could hear a little bit more and wondered what they were up to.
“I told you that I was meant for the water,” Jaden said with joy in his voice.
She smiled, loving to hear that. He had a long way to go but apparently had made some significant progress. Iain had left a couple days ago, or at least she thought he had. Then she’d seen him here just about an hour ago. Probably to visit Jaden. She didn’t know if Iain had found Jaden or not today. Just as she had wondered about that, she heard a third voice.
“Now, that’s what I like to see,” he cried out. “All SEALs need to be in the water.” There were greetings and cries aplenty at that.
She realized that the men had shifted so that they were closer to the stairs.
“Glad you came back, Iain,” Jaden said. “I missed saying goodbye to you.”
“Well, the trouble was, I couldn’t spend too much time with you when you were adapting,” he said, “because you hadn’t really sunk into the routines around here. And, once you did, it’s almost a personal journey that nobody can help you through.”
“And I didn’t understand that either before,” he said, “but I’m working on it now.”
“And that’s what you need to do,” Iain said. “Put your trust in Shane here, and he’ll get you to where you need to be.”
“Are you staying for lunch?”
“Yeah, I was thinking of eating with you, but you’re still in the pool.”
She quit eavesdropping and stared at her sandwich, wishing that she could have gone down there too. But obviously this was bro time. And just then, memories of when she’d had friends to do stuff with too resurfaced. Since she’d arrived, she’d more or less isolated herself into her work and just spent time with Jaden. That probably wasn’t a good idea. When she was finally done with her sandwich, she mopped up her chin and tackled her salad.
When she finished and pushed away her plate, a great big tomcat hopped up onto her table and stared at her. She looked at him in surprise. “So, who are you, my friend?” She thought his name was Thomas. But, whatever it was, he was friendly because, as soon as she reached out a hand, his huge guttural engine kicked in, and he wandered closer. She saw his stump, but it didn’t appear to bother him in the least.
He batted her softly in the forehead, as if to say, Hey, more scratching, please. She reached up to gather him in her arms, groaning slightly at his unexpected weight, and she brought him closer and just cuddled him. This was what she needed. Time with somebody who had no judgment, no opinion as to right or wrong, not asking her if she’d done the right thing or had done more of something else.
She hadn’t realized how much her life had been generated by other people’s opinions, other people’s comments, other people’s expectations, rather than her own expectations. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but she truly needed to focus on her own needs and wants now. She’d taken time to adjust to her new job and to her new apartment and to her new city. She needed some time to just be here, not stuck in her mind, not reliving her wedding fiasco and the months that followed.
Luckily she’d found one person to be friendly with here. Surely having Jaden as a friend was a good first step. At least this furry guy appeared to think so. Thomas reached up with a paw and batted her chin ever-so-slightly. She lowered it, and he almost bit her, but his nip was soft and gentle. She looked at him in surprise. “What do you want?” She reached up and chucked him under the chin several times, scratching gently. His eyes almost crossed with pleasure. She chuckled out loud.
And then an older man spoke to her.
She opened her eyes to see the Major, somebody she’d only seen once, where he had formally introduced himself.
He stared at her with a big grin on his face. “At least Thomas had the manners to wait until you finished eating,” he said. He reached out a hand and said, “I believe we met earlier. Forgive me for not remembering your name. You’re one of the new ones here.”
“About six weeks now,” she confirmed, nodding. “I’m Brian
na.”
He nodded. “I’m the Major, Dani’s father.”
She grinned. “And apparently the animal caretaker, from what I hear.”
“Well, I also play a mean game of chess, and I can cheat fairly well at checkers, and I’m pretty poor at the pool table, but I do enjoy a game every now and again.”
She smiled. “Is this guy yours?”
“Well, he belongs to Hathaway House,” the Major corrected. He motioned at a nearby chair. “May I?”
“Sure,” she said with a bright smile. “I was just thinking that I haven’t really had a chance to get to know too many people yet.”
“Except I noticed you’ve been spending some time with Jaden,” he said with a knowing smirk.
Heat flushed up her cheeks. “That obvious, huh?”
“A little bit,” he said, “but I’m a romantic at heart.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “It’s not like that.”
“It absolutely is like that,” he said. “At least, it’s the start of something like that.”
“Well, a start is one thing,” she said, “but we’re a long way away from anything other than just being two new people who bonded.”
“And sometimes it’s just as simple as that,” he said with a smile.
“Maybe,” she said. “And maybe not.”
Just then, the cat in her arms jumped up onto the table and headed toward the Major. He chuckled, then patted his chest, and the cat jumped down, expecting his human to catch him. And, indeed, the Major did.
“Obviously he’s used to you,” she said, laughing at the way the cat just totally spread out, looking for cuddles.
“Most of them understand affection. Most of them understand trust. It’s only after we have betrayed that trust that they get edgy. But they’re quite likely to trust the next person.”