Yet, none of that mattered.
Call him selfish, but right now his singular mission was easing the ache that had gripped him and wouldn’t let go. Whether she told him to piss off or found a way to forgive him, he had to at least try to make things right with her.
He went back to his station and locked his computer. Pulling in a deep breath, he started for her office, rapping his knuckles on the door twice when he arrived.
“Come in,” she called.
Daniel entered, but her attention remained focused on the papers strewn about her desk.
“Hey,” he softly called.
Her shoulders stiffened, but she didn’t look up. “Yes?”
He shifted his feet, shoving his hands into his pockets. He hadn’t felt this nervous since the time his old master sergeant caught him and a bunch of his fellow Marines at a strip club near Pendleton.
“I…umm…I’m sorry to disturb you, but can we talk?”
She finally lifted her gaze to his. Her face remained a mask of indifference. “What do you need?”
He closed the door behind him before moving toward her desk. Once there, he found himself at a loss for words. Should he just admit he’d fucked up, fall to his knees, and beg for forgiveness?
“I wanted to apologize,” he said. He waited for her to speak. She didn’t. The atmosphere in the office grew a thousand times more uncomfortable.
Daniel swallowed and tried again. “I’m trying to come up with the right words here, but I’m worse at this than I thought.”
Samiah brought her elbows up on the desk, clasped her fingers, and rested her chin on them.
“Let me give it a try,” she said. “Now, the last thing I want to do is speak for you, however, if I was the one apologizing, it would go something like this. ‘Dear Samiah, I am so sorry for acting like a jerk after spending the last three weeks openly flirting with you.’”
He started to speak, but she held up a hand and continued. “‘And, yes, I know that I’m the one who went in for that kiss, but things got a little too real, so I pulled away like a coward. It must suck to have someone treat you that way, and I feel like a complete dick.’ How was that? Does that apology work for you?”
Daniel shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and swallowed hard. “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
The last two minutes would have been easier to endure if her declamation had held even a hint of humor. It hadn’t. She was pissed.
This was hard. And awkward. And exactly what he deserved.
“Did that apology work for you?” he asked, turning the question back on her.
She dropped her hands and pushed away from her desk. “You don’t owe me any apologies, Daniel.”
“Yes, I do.” He walked up to her desk. “And you’re right, I do feel like a dick.”
“So what happened?” She threw her hands up in the air. “Why did you all of a sudden decide I wasn’t good enough to have lunch with?”
Shit. He shut his eyes and pitched his head back.
“That’s not what I think, Samiah.” He hated that he had to continue this lie, but what choice did he have? He couldn’t tell her about the reprimand he would face if his real boss discovered what he was doing.
He settled for a partial truth.
“Look, I know this is no excuse, but I’m still a bit gun-shy after everything that happened with my ex.” He held his hands out in a plea. “Yours is the only real friendship I’ve made since moving to Austin and it would kill me if I’ve ruined it.” Regret lodged in his throat, but he swallowed past it, desperate to make this right. “Is there any way possible that we can still be friends after this?”
She continued to stare at him with that blank, impassive air about her. After several excruciatingly painful moments passed, she leaned back in her chair, folded her hands over her stomach, and said, “You have all the nerve in the world, do you know that?” She huffed out a breath and shook her head, but then shocked the hell out of him when she said, “I guess we can try.”
Daniel was afraid to trust what he thought he’d just heard.
“Is that everything?” she asked.
“Umm…yeah.” He nodded, the tension in his body slowly ebbing as the strain in the room began to recede. “Thank you.”
Her smile was pleasant enough, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She shut down her desktop and retrieved her purse from the bottom desk drawer.
“Are you calling it a night?” Daniel asked.
“Yes.” She stood, pulling the purse strap over her shoulder. “I have a standing date on Friday evenings.”
The lump of unpleasantness that lodged in his throat nearly cut off his air supply, but he swallowed it down like nasty medicine. If there was one thing he didn’t have the right to feel, it was jealousy.
“Have a good time,” Daniel said. At least he didn’t choke on the words.
“Thank you.” She looked at her reflection in the now blank monitor and smoothed a hand over her flawless hair. “I always do.”
The effort it took to stand there and watch her ready herself for a date with someone else nearly killed him. He accepted it as his penance for being an asshole toward her.
She walked past him, leading the way out of her office, but instead of following, he called, “Samiah, wait!”
She turned. Daniel’s heart thumped against the walls of his chest as he approached her. He expelled a deep breath, then admitted, “What I said a few minutes ago? That was a load of bullshit. I don’t want to be just a friend to you. That’s not even close to what I want.
“This.” He gestured between them. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I came to Austin to start fresh. I was supposed to lose myself in my work and not allow anything to get in the way of that.” He huffed out a laugh. “But then I saw you making coffee, and everything I thought I wanted went out the window.”
He swallowed hard and decided to go for broke.
“I want more than friendship. I shouldn’t. It goes against all the ground rules I set for myself when I moved here. But I can’t help but want more of you.”
She was silent for so long he wasn’t sure if she was ever going to answer. Pregnant, nerve-racking moments ticked by, the air covered in a thick layer of unease.
“You’re not the only one who wasn’t looking for this to happen,” she finally said, both her tone and gaze tinged with accusation. “You know the shit I’ve been through recently. Everybody knows the shit I’ve been through.” She shook her head. “I didn’t want this either. This was supposed to be me time. I made a promise that I would focus on myself and not bother with society’s bullshit expectations about having a man in my life.”
His throat tightened with the realization of just how badly he’d messed things up. These past couple of days had apparently given her the chance to put things into perspective and recognize that she didn’t need him distracting her. If that wasn’t the most ironic bite in the ass.
“But, dammit, I like you.”
Daniel’s head popped up at her declaration. “What?”
“I like you too damn much for my own good,” Samiah said. “I would love to tell you to go to hell, but instead all I want to talk about is how I couldn’t help but think about you when I heard someone in my building playing the Beastie Boys yesterday.”
His lungs expanded to the point of pain as gratitude overwhelmed him. Daniel had to stop himself from leaning forward and tasting her lips.
“I don’t want to like you this much,” Samiah said.
“I promise not to make you regret it,” he replied.
This time, her smile reached her eyes. “Maybe we can take things a bit slower? You have to admit that sucking face while at work was pretty unprofessional.”
Laughing, he reached for her hand, his heart swelling with unexpected emotion when she allowed him to take it.
“I want whatever you want,” he said. “You set the pace and I’ll follow.”
“I think I can handle that
,” she said, her eyes softening. “But I still need to go.” She released his hand. “Taylor and London will be waiting for me. We have a standing date on Fridays. I don’t want to be late.”
Taylor and London?
He had no right to the bone-melting relief that rushed through him, but damn if it didn’t nearly bring him to his knees.
“See you back here on Monday? I’ll be at the coffee bar,” she said.
“Unless you want to meet sooner,” he countered before he could stop himself.
Fuck! Didn’t she just say she wanted to go slow?
“What did you have in mind?” she asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.
He lifted his shoulders. “I’d planned to come in tomorrow and do some work on the Leyland Group project.”
“I’m working on it this weekend too,” she said. “But I was going to work from home.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “You can come by. Just to work,” she quickly added.
Breaking out into the MC Hammer dance would be the corniest thing ever. But, then again, she seemed to find his fascination with old-school-rap cute.
“I’ll bring lunch,” Daniel said instead.
“Deal,” she replied with a firm nod. “Oh, there’s an Asian fusion place up near the Triangle that makes the best Korean short ribs. I’ve been craving them for ages.”
“You’re joking, right?” Daniel said with a frown. “The only way we eat Korean is if I cook it.”
“You cook?”
Daniel nodded. “Just tell me when and where.”
“I’ll text you my address.” Her subtle grin left him breathless as he watched her walk away.
Once back at his desk, Daniel sat for a long moment, running all the different ways this could go wrong through his head. Getting even more involved with Samiah was the last thing he should be doing. He knew this.
But he’d be damned if he cared.
* * *
Samiah spotted Taylor sitting alone at their favorite high table and gave herself a mental high five for not being the last one to arrive for once. She would never be first. She’d learned that Taylor was one of those you’re on time if you’re five minutes early, you’re late if you’re on time kind of people. It had to be that military upbringing. That’s probably why Daniel always made it to the office before she did, even on the mornings when she did clock in on time.
The corners of her mouth drew up, and she realized just the thought of him brought a smile to her face.
Oh, God. She so hated herself right now. When had she become this girl?
For one thing, she shouldn’t have forgiven him so quickly. He deserved to sweat a while longer. At the very least she should have let him go on thinking that she had a real date tonight.
She’d caught his reaction when she mentioned that she had plans. That beautiful, well-pronounced jawline betrayed him, stiffening in response to her announcement. As if he had any right whatsoever to be jealous when he was the one who’d gone all “we should just be friends” on her.
Her nails bit into her palms as the anger of the last few days crept back in, yet, in an instant, her heart grew all melty at his charmingly awkward apology.
Samiah rolled her eyes. She’d totally become that girl.
But she kinda liked it.
“Over here!” Taylor waved her over. “London had to take a phone call,” she said, pointing toward the door that led to the bar’s outside patio.
Well, damn. Guess she’d have to take away that mental high five.
“Have you all ordered yet?”
“Ceviche, a cheese plate, and those fried Brussels sprouts that are to freaking die for. Oh, and margaritas, of course. Watermelon’s okay, right?”
“It’s my jam,” Samiah said.
“Are you ready for this?” Taylor asked. She flattened her palms on the table and released a deep breath. “I decided to take the homeschooling job.”
“Wow. Really?” Samiah’s eyes widened. “Tay, are you sure—”
“Hey! About time you made it,” London said, cutting her off. She rounded the table, giving Samiah a hug before climbing onto her chair just as the waiter arrived with their tapas and margaritas. “So, did she tell you about her new job as a schoolteacher?” London asked, popping a crispy Brussels sprout in her mouth.
“Not a schoolteacher,” Taylor argued. “It’s basically what I’m doing now, just with clients all under four feet. And they’re paying me two hundred bucks a class! That’s six hundred a week! Twenty-four hundred a month.”
“Yeah, not to brag, but I got all As in math,” London said.
Taylor stuck her tongue out at her. “Well, I didn’t, so let me flex my quick addition skills for a minute.” She took a sip of her margarita before continuing. “Seriously, guys, do you know what I can do with an extra twenty-four hundred dollars a month? And for only three hours of work per week? I couldn’t pass that up.”
“But it’s not only three hours. You have to take time to plan out the classes, then do the evaluations on the back end,” Samiah said. “And drive all the way out to Bee Cave.”
“Yeah, I know. I can handle it.”
“So what does this mean for your plans to grow your fitness consulting business?” London asked.
“That’s my question,” Samiah said. “You’re the one who came up with this idea to dedicate six months to working toward our goals. As I recall, teaching phys ed to a bunch of kids wasn’t on that list.”
Taylor glanced down at the table. When she looked back up, Samiah detected a hint of disappointment in her eyes. She wasn’t sold on this homeschooling thing either.
Samiah reached over and covered her hand. “You know, hon, money isn’t everything.”
Taylor pulled her hand away. “Says the one with the fancy-ass downtown condo and high-paying tech job.”
Point made.
“Okay, yes, money is nice. It’s great. But so is enjoying your work. How long will you continue to push your dreams to the side, Taylor? How happy do you think you’ll be if you put your consulting business on the back burner for months—maybe even years?”
Taylor picked up her glass and drained it before setting it on the table with a thump.
“If it means I can make my rent, then it really doesn’t matter.” She lifted her shoulders in a defeated shrug. “Dreams are good and all, but a sistah got bills to pay.”
“Amen,” London said, holding her hand up for a high five.
Taylor reached over to slap her palm, but then pulled back. “Wait! You’re a rich doctor, what do you know about bills?”
“Want me to show you what I pay in malpractice insurance and student loans?”
“Ah, okay.” They high-fived each other across the table.
Samiah considered pointing out that she hadn’t always lived in her fancy-ass condo. She knew what it was like to dodge phone calls from bill collectors. At one time, her parents had a script next to the telephone with the various excuses they were to give if anyone called asking about a late payment.
But that wasn’t her life anymore, and she would not apologize for no longer having to fret over how she would keep the lights on.
Still, Taylor’s struggle was a stark reminder of just how lucky she was. Now that she’d completed the prototype and moved into the design phase of her app, it was costing more time, money, and brainpower than she’d anticipated, but Samiah couldn’t imagine how much harder it would be to do this work while also worrying about how her mortgage would get paid.
She had zero excuses when it came to realizing her dream. She’d better not squander it.
After getting refills on their margaritas, the conversation turned to the phone call London had been on when Samiah arrived.
“You should have seen the transformation,” Taylor said. “She went from my homegirl London to Dr. Kelley in two seconds flat. And from what I can tell, Dr. Kelley does not play.”
“No, she does not,” London said. “I’m ready to start kicking a
sses and taking names all over that hospital. They’re driving me crazy.” She took a healthy sip of her drink, before continuing. “Although, I do have something I need to confess, ladies.”
“What?” they both asked.
“I almost gave my goodies to this cute locum tenens anesthesiologist who worked at the hospital this week.”
“What?” Samiah screeched.
“Details,” Taylor said.
“First, tell us what a locum whatever is?” Samiah asked. “Is that some kind of special pediatric anesthesiologist or something?”
“No, it just means he came to the hospital through a staffing service, and thank God his was a short-term contract. If I had to endure another week of staring at those scrubs stretching across his perfect little ass I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself from tackling him. Last thing I need is to get written up by HR for harassing a cute doctor who’s five years my junior,” she said. “I have enough problems with hospital management as it is.”
“I can relate,” Samiah muttered.
London and Taylor both stared expectantly at her.
“You can?” London set her elbow on the table and cradled her chin in her palm. “How so?”
Great. This should teach her to keep her side comments to herself.
“Okay, I guess it’s my turn to step into the confessional,” Samiah said. “I’ve kinda been seeing someone at work.” She put her hands up before either could speak. “Okay, let me clarify. We haven’t actually gone on an official date or anything. We’ve grabbed lunch a few times, and I took him hiking out at McKinney Falls State Park.” Samiah sucked in a deep breath and then confessed in a rush, “And we kissed while working late at the office. And, oh my God, it was so good. And I’m so sorry!”
“Sorry?” London asked. “Sorry about what?”
“Yeah, what are you sorry for? You better get it where you can, girl! Gimme some!” Taylor held her hand up for a high five.
“Wait, wait, wait. What’s going on here? What about the boyfriend project?” She pointed to Taylor. “You laid the ground rules. No dating for six months while we all work on ourselves so that when we are ready to find a man, we really are ready. I feel like I’m breaking the sisterhood pact or something.”
The Boyfriend Project Page 16