Dance Like No One's Watching

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Dance Like No One's Watching Page 26

by Vanessa Jones


  21:30

  Kiki:

  Stage One activated ;)

  Alec:

  Stage Two complete ;))

  Presumably Leon’s about to go onstage at the gala. I hope he’s OK with all of this – it’s a lot to lump on him on a day like today. I’m so lucky to have such good friends.

  We pull up outside Lewisham Hospital, and I jump out of the car and head straight to reception, but there’s an enormous queue. Visiting hours will be over soon, and there’s no way they’ll let a random girl in a ballgown in after kicking-out time. There’s nothing else for it – I’m just going to have to find him myself.

  The hospital layout is a little confusing. There’s a board telling visitors where all the different wards are, but where will Fletch be? Steph said he was having an operation today. Orthopaedics? I run through A&E to the yellow zone and call out to a passing nurse.

  ‘Excuse me, I’m looking for my . . . brother. He had surgery on his wrist today.’

  Without stopping, she calls back over her shoulder, ‘Straight ahead, through two sets of doors, then left. Ask at Ward Ten.’

  ‘Thank you!’ I shout.

  As I run, my ankle half goes underneath me and I cry out in pain but manage to keep running. At this rate, I’ll be needing a bed in orthopaedics.

  I push through the first set of doors and head down a long corridor, through another set of doors at the end, turn left and—

  Sam’s there, pointing her handheld at me.

  ‘Smile,’ she says. ‘You’re live.’

  CHAPTER 26

  I stare at her.

  ‘Tell us how you’re feeling right now,’ she says, pointing to the little red light on her camera to indicate that whatever I say will be heard immediately by three million people. She knows I can’t do anything; she’s relying on that little red dot to keep me under control. She thinks she’s trapped me.

  Which is why this is going to be so brilliant.

  ‘How did you know I was here?’ I say calmly.

  ‘Magic of telly,’ she says. ‘But exciting events tonight. Maybe you can fill us in on what happened. Why did you make the decision to sing a different song at the gala? Was it your love for—’

  Just then, Kiki and Anand burst through the double doors and run towards us.

  ‘Nettie!’ Kiki shouts.

  ‘You made it!’ I’m so relieved, I almost forget that Sam’s still pointing her camera at us.

  Sam stares at us. I can tell she’s trying to work out what’s going on.

  ‘We broke into your laptop, Sam,’ says Anand. ‘We found out what you’ve been doing.’

  Sam turns her camera off immediately. ‘OK, cut back to Duke’s,’ she says into a wire attached to her earpiece. ‘I don’t care who – just cut back!’

  ‘We know you’ve been recording us in the changing rooms, Sam,’ says Kiki breathlessly. ‘That’s how you’ve known what’s been going on. Listening to us through hidden microphones.’

  ‘Yes,’ says Anand. ‘Backstage at Chicago, too.’

  ‘This is ridiculous,’ splutters Sam.

  ‘You’ve been doing it all year,’ Anand pushes on. ‘I thought I was paranoid at first. But then I began to notice a pattern. So I looked on your computer and found hundreds of audio files.’

  ‘You had no right to go through my files,’ says Sam. ‘They’re private!’

  ‘I feel sick to my stomach that I ever trusted you,’ says Kiki. She turns to me. ‘That’s not all we found. It’s as we suspected – there was also a string of aggressive emails to See Me Now, threatening them if they didn’t terminate my contract.’

  Sam smiles dangerously at her. ‘Can you blame me? I had to give you some sort of story. Otherwise you were just . . . hardworking. Bland. It’s a shame, Kiki. So much potential. Wasted on this pointless tattling. I’d have thought you’d be grateful after that lovely little story I gave you. People went wild for it last week. Everyone loves a cryer.’

  Kiki looks like she’s about to punch Sam in the face. ‘You’re revolting,’ she says.

  ‘You know what else we just found on the laptop, Nettie?’ Anand says, watching Sam with utter disgust. ‘The video of your mum falling off the stage.’

  ‘Wait,’ I say, rounding on Sam. ‘You sent me that?’ I’m shaken to my core. It was her all along? The fury inside me is at bursting point now.

  ‘Just a little teaser,’ says Sam with a pleased smile. ‘Things needed spicing up before we started filming. But I didn’t need the dead-mother storyline in the end. You created enough drama without that.’

  Even after everything she’s done, I’m still shocked at this new level of depravity. Sam was controlling me even before I met her? How could she do that? I almost feel bad for ever suspecting Millicent Moore. Almost.

  ‘We’ve got evidence, Sam,’ says Anand. ‘Three Ring’s going to be very interested to know how one of their biggest documentary makers gets her stories. You’ll be investigated and likely prosecuted.’

  ‘They won’t do that,’ says Sam. ‘Who broke into my laptop unauthorized? You’ve made it easy, Anand. What was the last thing I got before I turned off the camera just now? Your admission of guilt. I’ll tell the bosses that you planted the files. Who’s going to take your word over mine?’

  ‘Of course you’re relying on your power to keep it all secret,’ says Kiki. ‘Because Anand and Nettie and me, we’re young and at the bottom of the pile – no one ever believes us. People like you – the ones in control – forget that you’re only in control because the rest of us allow you to be. I mean, I thought hard about whether to come here, because exposing you is pretty fucking dangerous for me. I’ll probably get expelled and never work again.’

  Kiki reaches for my hand, like it’ll give her courage. ‘When you’re training for something you want so badly, you’re completely at the mercy of the people in charge. One wrong move could destroy your whole life.’ She takes a breath. ‘So you do everything that’s asked of you, you take all the shit that comes with the training – the comments about how you look, the criticism – because that’s the industry, right? Isn’t that what you were always telling me? The camera adds ten pounds, Kiki. You’re looking great, Kiki. Keep working on those designs, Kiki. But I’m not talking about the industry, or the fact that the whole time you were criticizing it but telling me to “play the game”, you were propping up its bullshit by feeding the world lies about us all. I’m not talking about your attempts to keep me down, those little digs to make me insecure so that I wouldn’t question you. And I’m not here to talk about our so-called “friendship”. I’m here to talk about the fact that you came into Duke’s and spied on us. That’s exploitation.’

  ‘Wait till Miss Duke hears about this,’ I say. Although – honestly? – I’ve been worrying about this part of the plan. What if Miss Duke had any knowledge about what Sam was doing and either turned her back to it or enabled her? That would be beyond disgusting. Would she go that far?

  ‘Wait no longer.’ Miss Duke steps around the corner, followed closely by Leon, who bravely volunteered for the task of bringing her in on the plan. She’s completely unruffled, as if it’s the most naturally occurring thing for her to be at Lewisham Hospital on a Saturday night.

  ‘Cecile,’ says Sam smoothly, her face a mask of calm. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I came to see how my students were,’ she replies, taking off her gloves and handing them to Anand, who takes them without a word. ‘But I see you’re looking after them.’

  I catch Leon’s eye. ‘You told her, right?’

  ‘Oh, he told me,’ answers Miss Duke, her eyes flashing. ‘In fact, we’ve been watching it unfold on our way over. Leon introduced me to the Three Ring app,’ she says, holding up her phone. ‘Wonderful invention.’

  ‘What do you mean, “watching”?’ says Sam.

  ‘You’ve been live since they interrupted you, my dear,’ says Miss Duke calmly, like Miss Marple revealing to the ki
ller how they were found out. ‘They cleverly arranged for the live footage to be transferred to that marvellous little device on Anand’s shirt.’ She points to Anand’s chest, where there’s clearly a tiny camera attached that no one’s noticed in all the drama. ‘So at least – how many people was it again, Leon?’

  ‘Three million,’ says Leon, smiling.

  Miss Duke turns back to Sam. ‘After a brief word with Leon and the crew, it was the obvious thing to do. It seems your employees all resent you, Sam, because each and every one of them happily agreed to the plan.’

  ‘You’re bluffing,’ says Sam. She holds her wire up to her mouth. ‘Dave? Have you heard this bullshit they’re spouting?’ Her eyes widen in shock as she hears his answer. ‘I don’t believe it. I don’t fucking believe this.’ She rips out the earpiece and rounds on me, her face contorted with anger. ‘Your hypocrisy astounds me, Nettie. This show has elevated you to beyond anything you could have hoped for in this industry – even a famous dead mother can only carry you so far. You were willing to play along when it suited you just fine. You owe me your career.’

  ‘I don’t owe you anything,’ I say in disgust. ‘All you did was spread lies about me and Luca. You shattered Kiki’s dream and threatened another of my best friends. You destroyed my relationship with the boy I love. You manipulated people with the promise of successful careers and abused your power. This show has never been anything but bullshit! The only thing that was ever real about it was the talent of these wonderful people. And you even tried to manipulate that. If there’s one thing I hope people watching Triple Threat take away from it, it’s that nothing’s as it seems. There’s always been a story, an angle – and the truth was hidden, trapped behind your smoke and mirrors. You’re disgusting.’

  Anand circles his fingers and whispers the word ‘Credits’ into a hidden earpiece.

  This is bizarre.

  Miss Duke takes the baton. ‘I know what the industry is, Sam. I understand what makes it go round, those little transactions and compromises everyone has to make. And believe me, I – more than anyone – have seen what it can do to people, how it chews them up and spits them out.’ She glances at me, and I realize she’s talking about Mum. ‘My job is to prepare my students for that industry. Sometimes that involves being harsh with them – especially the girls. Showbusiness is hard, and I have to make sure they are tough enough to handle it. But equally, I expect the industry to respect my girls, and all women. You have betrayed us. You have cheapened our industry. Now be gone.’

  Sam flings her earpiece on the ground and storms off towards the exit. She’s disappeared through the double doors before you can say ‘Razzle Dazzle’.

  Anand fiddles with his camera and looks at us awkwardly. ‘Erm . . . cut?’ he says.

  Miss Duke takes her gloves back from him. ‘We’ll discuss tonight’s events in the morning, I think. Kiki and Leon, whilst I can’t “officially” approve of your actions, I do appreciate the fact that you saved the college. Thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few phone calls to make.’ She turns and walks calmly down the corridor.

  We stare after her.

  ‘Oh my God,’ I say. ‘Did that all just go out live on TV? Seriously?’

  ‘Basically,’ says Kiki.

  ‘Stage three complete,’ says Leon with a wink.

  Just stage four to go, the part I’ve been hoping will go to plan most of all. Right on cue, Alec steps out of a room at the far end of the corridor, waiting like the top turn until last to make his entrance. The levels of drama in this corridor tonight are almost farcical.

  ‘Alec!’ I run up to him, not sure if my heart’s still hammering from what’s just happened, or for what’s about to happen.

  ‘Nettie,’ he says. ‘He’s in here.’ He’s holding the door open for me.

  This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, but now that it’s here, I’m not sure my nerves can take it. Silently, I hug Alec and enter the room.

  Fletch is sitting up in bed. His face is swollen, and one eye is only just able to open, although his bruises have the purple-yellow hues of having had a few days to heal. His right arm is in a cast, and so is his leg.

  I gasp. ‘Oh my God, Fletch!’

  ‘I know – this hospital gown does nothing for me,’ he says.

  His eye that isn’t hurt twinkles at me. I want that twinkle to mean that everything’s OK between us, that he still loves me. I want to run over to him and stroke his hair and put my face close to his. I want to kiss him so badly. But I just stand there, rooted to the spot, trying not to cry, unsure what to say. Neither of us speaks for a moment.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ we both say eventually at the same time, and then laugh.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I ask.

  He exhales. ‘I knew you had a hard week coming up and I didn’t want to stress you out even more. You had Chicago going on, Triple Threat and apparently a gala performance to worry about. And also . . . I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me. I behaved pretty terribly.’ His voice breaks. ‘Nettie, I’m ashamed of what I said to you. To you both. I’m truly so sorry.’ He’s shaking.

  I go over and kneel next to the bed; gingerly I take his hand. His fingers feel strangely soft as he threads them through mine, and looking at his other hand, bruised and in a cast, I remember with a pang that he won’t be able to play for a while. I press his fingertips to my lips, and he closes his eyes.

  I almost don’t have the courage to ask him. ‘Did you see . . . ?’

  ‘I saw you. Nettie, you sang our song so beautifully.’ He adjusts his weight in the bed; the action makes his face cloud over for a second. ‘It’s more than I deserve. I know I was an arsehole about you and Luca. I never really thought there was anything going on between you. But by then, I’d already started being a jerk and it was too late to back out. So I stomped off into the night like a complete knob, when what I should have done was explain how I was feeling and not let you think I was blaming you. I’d already been feeling like a shitbag boyfriend and had started worrying that you’d realize how rubbish I was and leave me. It’s like Sam could see my darkest fears and exploited them with that stuff about you and Luca.’

  ‘You’re not alone in that,’ I say.

  ‘I know. Alec and I have been riveted tonight,’ he says. ‘Are you OK? Everything she put you through – I wasn’t there for you, Nettie. I’m sorry.’

  ‘I’m sorry, too. I should have told you how I was feeling and looped you into everything. But I was trying to hang on to what little was left of our perfect bubble from this summer. And I’m too stubborn.’

  ‘I was stubborn,’ he says with a grin.

  ‘Maybe a little,’ I say, smiling.

  ‘I’d put my arms up, but . . .’ He nods at his cast.

  I stand up, lean over him as slowly and as carefully as I can and brush his lips softly with mine.

  ‘I love you so much,’ he whispers.

  ‘I love you, too.’

  He puts his hand up to stroke my cheek. The effort makes him wince and I pull back, alarmed, but he smiles and kisses me again – warm and tender and slightly tickly because of the way I’m hovering, trying not to hurt his face.

  And in that one kiss, both of us manage to say everything we need to say to each other. It’s everything a make-up kiss should be.

  Something occurs to me. ‘Where did you go that night?’ I ask Fletch. ‘Was that when the accident happened?’

  ‘I went to your grandmother’s,’ he says.

  ‘What? Why?’

  ‘When I asked you if you were finishing with me, I was sure you’d say yes.’ He shifts his legs slightly in the bed. ‘But when you didn’t, when you just said you were really fucking angry with me, it gave me a tiny chink of hope – a chance that I could make things right. It was like a light switched on. I thought if I could prove I cared about you and everything you’ve been going through this year, you’d forgive me for being such an arse. So I rode down to Sydenha
m and knocked on her door to ask her about your mum.’

  So Fletch wasn’t walking out on me – he was trying to help. I wish I’d known that. I’d still have been furious with him, but it would have saved a lot of heartache this week for both of us.

  ‘You went to Auntie’s?’ I say incredulously. ‘I can’t imagine it was a warm welcome.’

  ‘No, she wasn’t happy about it, but I think it had been on her mind since you’d last seen her, and she agreed to talk. Nettie, I should have been there for you. I wanted to ride home and say that to you. I wanted to apologize for treating you with kid gloves when I should have been honest. I wanted to say sorry for being such an arse on the night of the Christmas Ball, and for lying to you at the Duke’s Awards. I wanted to show you that I cared.’ He swallows, as if his throat’s aching. It could be the anaesthetic, only mine’s aching, too. ‘And then on my way back to you, a van derailed my plan . . .’ He smiles, but I know he’s wrestling with some stuff around the accident. It’s exactly how his brother died. ‘But I did find out one thing.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It was your grandmother who ended your mum’s career, Nettie. She phoned the papers.’

  ‘What did you say?’ I turn to see Miss Duke, standing in the doorway like Beatrice Stockwell in The Drowsy Chaperone, making her subtle entrance after everyone’s accounted for. Jeez, how long has she been standing there?

  Fletch repeats his last sentence. ‘Nettie’s mum collapsed onstage at the height of her fame. There was a big takedown piece in a couple of the papers, organized by her own mother. It finished her.’

  I don’t know who is more shocked, Miss Duke or me. We just stare at each other, waiting for the other one to speak.

  ‘But you need to see her, Nettie,’ says Fletch. ‘She’s ready to give you the answers you’ve been waiting for.’

  ‘I also have questions, Antoinette. My car will pick you up first thing,’ says Miss Duke wryly and decisively.

  Miss Duke leaves, again, leaving Fletch and me to process everything. Today, I performed in two live shows in front of millions of people, took down a corrupt TV producer and got back together with my boyfriend in hospital, but somehow the thought of being in a car with Miss Duke trumps them all in weirding me out . . .

 

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