by Exile
Formatting note:
In the electronic versions of this book
blank pages that appear in the paperback
have been removed.
PLAYGROUND OF LOST TOYS
Edited by Collen Anderson and Ursula Pflug
The Exile Book of Anthology Series
Number Eleven
“Usually at least once in a person’s childhood we lose an object that at the time is invaluable and irreplaceable to us, although it is worthless to others. Many people remember that lost article for the rest of their lives. Whether it was a lucky pocketknife, a transparent plastic bracelet given to you by your father, a toy you had longed for and never expected to receive, but there it was under the tree on Christmas… it makes no difference what it was. If we describe it to others and explain why it was so important, even those who love us smile indulgently because to them it sounds like a trivial thing to lose. Kid stuff. But it is not. Those who forget about this object have lost a valuable, perhaps even crucial memory. Because something central to our younger self resided in that thing. When we lost it, for whatever reason, a part of us shifted permanently.”
—JonaThan Carroll, winner of the World Fantasy award, the British Fantasy award, the Bram Stoker award and the French Grand Prix de l’Imaginaire.
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Playground of lost toys / edited by Colleen Anderson and Ursula Pflug.
(The Exile book of anthology series ; number eleven)
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN 978-1-55096-502-5 (paperback).--ISBN 978-1-55096-503-2 (epub).--
ISBN 978-1-55096-504-9 (mobi).--ISBN 978-1-55096-505-6 (pdf)
1. Short stories, Canadian (English). 2. Canadian fiction (English)-- 21st century. 3. Toys--Fiction. 4. Children--Fiction. I. Anderson, Colleen, editor II. Pflug, Ursula, 1958-, editor III. Series: Exile book of anthology series ; no. 11
PS8323.T68P53 2015 C813'.0108353 C2015-906498-8/ C2015-906499-6
Copyrights to the stories rest with the authors © 2015
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To all the children we used to be.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
WE ARE MADE OF MEMORIES
Colleen Anderson
INTRODUCTION
DREAM-EATING RABBITS MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL
Ursula Pflug
FUN THINGS FOR AGES 8 TO 10
Chris Kuriata
THE COMPASS
Joe Davies
HIDE AND SEEK
Catherine MacLeod
SHOW AND TELL
Kate Story
THE DIE
Meagan Whan
THE FOOD OF MY PEOPLE
Candas Jane Dorsey
CHAYA AND LOONY-BOY
Rati Mehrotra
THE GHOST RATTLE
Nathan Adler
THE GARDEN OF OUR DECEIT
Rhonda Eikamp
HACKER CHESS
Robert Runté
AND THEY ALL LIVED TOGETHER IN A CROOKED LITTLE HOUSE
Linda DeMeulemeester
BALERO
Kevin Cockle
LESS THAN KATHERINE
Claude Lalumière
GOODBYE IS A MOUTHFUL OF WATER
Dominik Parisien
TREASURE
dvsduncan
OF DANDELIONS AND MAGIC
Christine Daigle
WHAT NOT TO EXPECT IN THE TODDLER YEARS
Melissa Yuan-Innes
WHEN THE TRAINS RUN ON TIME
Shane Simmons
MAKOUR
Lisa Carreiro
WITH ONE SHOE
Karen Abrahamson
WHEATIESFIELDS IN FALL
Geof rey W. Cole
BETWEEN THE BRANCHES OF THE NINE
Alex C. Renwick
AFTERWORD
THE CASUAL MAGIC OF PLAY
Derek Newman-Stil es
AUTHORS’ BIOGRAPHIES
INTRODUCTION: WE ARE MADE OF MEMORIES
COLLEEN ANDERSON
The genesis of the theme for Playground of Lost Toys happened when Ursula and I attended World Fantasy Con in Toronto. Several people were reminiscing about Show and Tell and toys we had as children. I mentioned the Roman coin my mother had, that I took to school, but watching it sink through layers of snow was part of the fascination. I remembered a toy fridge I played with, which was replaced with a newer version replete with plastic vegetables, but it was never as cherished as the first one.
We love a particular toy or are fascinated with some innocuous item where an adult cannot fathom its worth. We wax nostalgic over these toys long into our adult lives. Chris Kuriata’s opening tale tags into the zany ads we once read in magazines and comics, while Joe Davies’ “The Compass” touches on the mysterious wonder of gifts, no matter how simple, and DVS Duncan shows us in “Treasure” that inescapable loss of enchantment when we grow into the responsibilities of adulthood.
We are made up of memories. The deeds and events of our past inform our present and design our future. We act and react based on perceiving a glass coloured by yesteryear. While the magical make-believes of our innocence can entertain us for hours as in Melissa Yuan-Innes’ story, there are the creatures under the bed, the scary dolls, the hideous ventriloquist dummies – toys that create a sinister mien in the shadowy hours.
Playground of Lost Toys embraces toys and games that bring redemption and condemnation such as Nathan Adler’s “The Ghost Rattle” or Claude Lalumière’s “Less than Katherine.” The future, the world of what-ifs, can be as equally disconcerting in Meagan Whan’s “The Die” or Shane Simmons’ “When the Trains Run on Time.”
Many of the stories in this anthology have a toy or game that is important to the character, but yet it is the lessons and the journeys they take these people on that give meaning. A hundred colourful toys sitting on a shelf do not come to life until they are claimed and given their own histories. Some pastimes are those of adults for we all seek escape from an ordered and mundane world, but the results can save us as in Lisa Carreiro’s “Makour,” while in Geoff Cole’s “Wheatiesfields in Fall,” the obsessive game dooms us. Even the gods have their own contests, deftly told in Alex C. Renwick’s “Between the Branches of the Nine.”
The most powerful form of playing is that which takes place in the playground of thoughts, where we create with our imaginations, before toys were ever created. Dominik Parisien’s “Goodbye is a Mouthful of Water” and Catherine MacLeod’s “Hide and See
k” look at the games of the mind, in very different situations.
Not every story can be mentioned here but like a Tickle Trunk, they are worthy for exploring the past and the future. And like Pandora’s Box, there are many emotions that will be revealed in their telling.
INTRODUCTION: DREAM-EATING RABBITS MAY OR MAY NOT BE REAL
URSULA PFLUG
As I write this we are almost finished, and it has been tough – Lost Toys is a mesmerizing theme not just for editors but for writers and we could easily have filled two books. In our early correspondence, Colleen and I agreed to stay away from the stereotype, and while the creepy doll was a lost toy we saw all too often, so was the worn rabbit stuffie with strange powers. In the end we chose just two doll stories and one rabbit stuffie story.
In Christine Daigle’s “Of Dandelions and Magic,” the reliability not just of the narrator but of memory itself is a linchpin. When we converse with parents and siblings and children, and their version of events is a little different from ours, do we alter our memories? When we (and I’ve discussed this one with so many writers!) fictionalize a story that actually happened to us, do we alter the memory? It’s impossible to know, but Daigle’s story isn’t the only one which investigates these questions, natural ones for a Lost Toys anthology which will, by necessity, include many stories about memory.
Protagonist Shauna’s mother suffers from dementia. “I was never sure your rabbit was real,” she says more than once, and we too wonder. Was the dream-eating rabbit real, or was it a companion the lonely child invented, because she needed Patches so much – so much indeed – that a worn stuffed rabbit could never be enough?
In the end we aren’t either – sure whether the rabbit was real – and I’m not sure it matters. I think these liminal stories are some of my favourites – the ones where dream-eating rabbits may or may not be real – or, as in Kate Story’s “Show and Tell,” a childhood doll reappears in a high school gymnasium on the night of a fundraiser. It isn’t really possible that the doll remained in the cubby for so many years – but it’s as good as if she did. Perhaps it’s even the most unreliable narrators, the very young, the traumatized and the elderly who best understand this important truth.
Sometimes healing requires a journey through time and memory to recover pieces of ourselves we had to let go of, because we weren’t yet strong enough to do the hard work of reintegration. But we’re older now, and we can go back. The doll and the rabbit become our guides, leading us on a journey of retrieval. The lost toy helps us to find the lost child, our inner child we left behind long ago at the locus of trauma.
It will be obvious to some readers that I’m a fan of Joseph Campbell and Clarissa Pinkola Estes – but we are on a journey in which we are the heroes of our own tale, a narrative that’s perilous, unbelievable, frightening, hilarious, touching and transcendent, either alternately or all at once. Much like the stories in Playground of Lost Toys.
I have mentioned a couple of our many wonderful tales by name because they illustrate a point I wanted to make about stories as psychological journeys. There are other comments I’d include if there was space: about beautiful prose, about technological agility, and about humour.
We hope you take as much pleasure in these stories as we did.
FUN THINGS FOR AGES 8 TO 10
Chris Kuriata
Hey Kids! Magazine Vol. 2, Issue 23
Hey, kids! Did you know you can use an old tape recorder to tell the future? It’s true. This fortune telling act is sure to entertain the whole family! It’s easy and fun!
You will need:
A tape recorder. Check the basement for Mom and Dad’s old ghetto blaster. Even an answering machine will work.
A recordable audio cassette tape. Your folks are sure to have a whole shoebox full of tapes they used to record songs off the radio back in the old days. If you can’t find any blank cassettes, use a pre-recorded one. If you cover the holes on the top with some masking tape, you can record over it.
8-10 dead bugs. Check the windowsill for flies, or ask Mom and Dad to unscrew the kitchen light fixture, where you are sure to find all kinds of dusty moths inside. (NOTE: You must not use worms or butterflies.)
MAKING YOUR TAPE:
First, just before bedtime, set up your ghetto blaster in a room that’s had lots of blood spilled in it. If your house is old, this could be any room. Lots of people lived here before your family, and the floorboards of the kitchen and living room are covered in thousands of invisible drops from arguments and jealous rages that took place long before even your parents were born. If your house is new, set up your ghetto blaster in the bathroom.
Next, cover your bugs with a piece of paper and roll them with a bottle. The older they are, the easier they will grind into dust. Sweep up the bug dust and sprinkle it into the tape slot. Be sure to wash your hands before rubbing your eyes!
With the bathroom light off, stare into the mirror. Let your mouth hang open. When your vision adjusts to the dark, you will faintly be able to see your face. Don’t move your eyes. When you stare at your face in a dark mirror, your reflection distorts until you look fake like a wax mannequin or a corpse. Whisper, “Tell me, tell me, tell me,” over and over until your words mix up like in a tongue twister!
Now, insert your tape and press the REC button (usually red). Depending on its age and condition, the ghetto blaster may make a loud grinding noise. Run back to your bedroom and get under the covers. Some tapes can record for a long time, almost as much as an hour, so you will have to be patient.
Try really hard to fall asleep. If you stay awake too long, you will feel a great weight pressing on your stomach or back when your visitor arrives. DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES. Your visitor may give you a good sniffing to make sure you are asleep or jam its fingers inside your mouth and tap its rings against your teeth. There may be a funny odour, like the smell of pennies. Continue pretending to be asleep until morning.
When the sun rises, you may retrieve your tape. If the touch of your night visitor was rubbery, like fat fingertips, proceed to step 7. If the touch of your night visitor was cold and scratchy, like hands made of sticks, you must destroy the tape and start over. Don’t just throw the tape into the garbage. If someone finds your tape and plays it you will be in BIG TROUBLE. Instead, take the tape to the park and pull out the insides. Be patient, there can be as much as 443 feet of tape (That’s almost the height of THREE Niagara Falls!) Pull all the tape out and loop it through the trees. It will sparkle in the sun like Christmas tinsel. Have fun. A grown-up may yell at you, saying the tape is bad for the environment – squirrels or birds will get tangled up in it and choke – but they’re just a goddamn liar. Unless you’ve chickened out like a little crybaby, repeat steps 1-5 to prepare a new tape.
Bring the tape to school and show it to your science teacher. She will have big magnets, ones strong enough to pick up heavy weights like a roll of quarters. If your science teacher refuses to help you, you’ll have to sneak into the science room during lunch hour. Don’t worry, none of the other teachers like your science teacher very much and she spends lunch sitting alone in her car, so the coast will be clear. Sandwich your tape between two big magnets. A cassette tape is covered in a magnetic dust that captures sound waves and allows you to play it back. Right now, your tape is full of the sound of the grinding mechanism of the ghetto blaster. Your science teacher’s big magnets will pull these annoying sounds right off your tape, leaving only the voice of your visitor and the many secrets it whispered during the night. Your visitor’s voice is too strong to be sucked out. (NOTE: If you are caught fooling around inside the science room, you will probably get in trouble and have to sit in the office but that is okay. The kids at school who see you sitting in the office will think you are pretty neat. Kids respect those with the balls to not always do what the grown-ups say.)
Your special tape is now ready for playing!
SHOWTIME:
After supper, gather the whole family in
the living room. To make yourself look like a showman/girl, cut yourself a top hat out of black construction paper and wrap tinfoil around the head of a hairbrush for a microphone. You might even want to paint a moustache under your nose with Mom’s eyeliner. (Make sure to ask permission).
Invite someone from the audience (get them to relax with a big round of applause) to press the PLAY button on the ghetto blaster. You’ll enjoy the funny look of surprise on their face when a voice on the tape tells them a prediction about their future. Especially when they hear a scary prediction.
TIPS:
The voice on the tape recorder may use big or ancient words, so it is a good idea to have a thick dictionary handy for looking up head scratchers like “puerperium,” “fistula” or “honorificabilitudinitatibus.”
Remember, it is your job as master of ceremonies to keep everyone having a good time. As exciting as it is to hear predictions, some people may be frightened by their glimpse into the future. Encourage the audience to focus on the good predictions instead of dwelling on the nasty ones. If they become angry or start crying, remind them there is no way of knowing when their prediction will come to pass. It could be tomorrow, it could be in fifty years! (Except for the prediction about Grandma. That one is coming true soon).
If anyone decides to call an early end to the show it will probably be your dad. He doesn’t like things that make Mom or your sister cry. He will accuse you of having recorded yourself saying all these horrible things about accidents and violations. He’ll try to pull the tape out of the ghetto blaster and smash it, but you must not let him do that. YOU MUST PLAY THE TAPE TO THE END! Because if you don’t, then brother, I wouldn’t want to be you.
As you get close to the end of the tape that funny penny odour will begin to fill the house and you’ll feel the visitor’s weight pressing on your back. (Be careful not to fall down.) The final prediction on the tape must be fulfilled immediately; otherwise BAD THINGS will happen to everyone in the room. Bad things that will be everlasting. If the tape says, “A handsome gentlemen will give Mom flowers,” have Dad rush out to the garden and snatch a few azaleas for her. Make sure he does it quickly. You don’t have a lot of time before the visitor appears. If the tape says, “Your sister will receive her first kiss,” there is no time to be bashful; either you or your brother better pucker up and plant one on her. Usually, the final prediction will be easy to fulfill, but sometimes it will prove to be a little harder. So be prepared to think fast. If the tape says, “Mom will lose a finger,” know that although the pinkie is the smallest, it is second only to the thumb in importance for maintaining hand function. Mom will be better off losing the first finger on her non-dominant hand, so make sure you chop off that one. If the final prediction says, “The family home burns to the ground,” don’t worry – the dollhouse in your sister’s room will suffice. But if the final prediction says, “Your neighbour’s home burns to the ground,” you’ll want to get the fire spreading into their walls quickly. If the fire department arrives before the structure collapses, things will get unpleasant before very long. The visitor is unmerciful, and once raising its ire, you can only hope there is no afterlife.