Onyx: Truth

by J. S. Lee

  “I don’t think we should split up,” Youngbin muttered. He looked uncomfortable at the decision.

  “If we miss this flight, it will be easier to find seats for two than for seven,” I pointed out. “And cheaper.”

  “Come on, hyung,” JongB said. “Trust Kate.”

  With the clock ticking away, I didn’t even stay to argue. Our gate was in the middle of the terminal. The closest bathroom, and therefore the route MinMin and Jiwon would have gone was to the right, so I headed left. I hoisted my backpack onto both shoulders, my camera and laptop’s weight settled in the center of my back, and I set off at a light jog, moving quickly to get through the terminal, but slow enough that I could scan the crowds. Thankfully, CX had been wearing a bright green sweater, and I was focusing on seeking that out while scanning faces.

  By the time I got to the far end of the terminal, the last call for Ren Yongsik and Kate West was being announced. I pulled out my phone and called JongB. “We’re not getting this flight, I haven’t…” I trailed off as I spotted the green I had been looking for. “Hold that thought.” I hung up on him and charged over. “Yongsik!”

  CX looked up at me, but his stare was vacant, as though he wasn’t really seeing me. I quickly scanned the area. It was busy, but there was no one paying him any attention. That was good.

  I swear, spending time with idols made you super paranoid.

  Ignoring the phone which was buzzing away in my hand, I took the seat next to CX. “At least go somewhere warm.”

  Dazed, CX turned and looked at me. “Huh?”

  I pointed up at the screen behind the desk. The immediate waiting area was moderately full of people waiting for a flight to Helsinki. “It’s cold enough here. You’ll probably get frozen inside the plane and need deicing before you can get out, and that sweater doesn’t look nearly warm enough for that level of ice.”

  CX raised a hand, examining the sweater. It was like he had no idea what was going on. Then he dropped his arm back into his lap. “OK.”

  The phone in my hand buzzed again. “Kate, we can only hold this plane for so long,” JongB said, urgently.

  “Just go,” I said, softly. “Yongsik and I will get the next flight.”

  “Is everything OK?” he demanded.

  “Yes,” I promised him. “We just need a bit of time.”

  There was a pause. “Look after him, Kate.”

  “I’ve got him.” I hung up and slid the phone into my pocket. I pulled the backpack from my back and set it by my feet, relaxing into the chair.

  I sat next to him in silence for quite some time. After a while, when the plane we should have taken was long gone, I reached into my bag and pulled out the bottle of Coke I’d purchased earlier, unscrewing the lid and passing it over to CX. Slowly he took it from me, sipping it at first, then gulping half of it down.

  I looked over my shoulder at the stores behind me. Most were closed because of how late it was, apart from one noodle bar. If I was hungry, I was willing to bet CX was, even if he didn’t realize it.

  I stood, hoisting my bag back onto my shoulder, and then looked down at CX. “Come with me.”

  “Where?” he asked, a touch of panic in his voice. When I pointed behind him at the noodle bar, he seemed to relax. “I don’t have money.”

  “I do,” I said, simply. Trusting that he would follow, I started walking to the bar. An elderly lady greeted me with a smile, gesturing for me to come in. She led me to the back and a view of the terminal below. I took the seat facing the restaurant. CX, right behind me, sat opposite.

  Menus were pushed in front of us. “Do you speak any Chinese?” I asked CX. He shook his head. “Not much.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh, and he gave me a quizzical look. “I’m asking the Korean guy if he speaks Chinese, while having the conversation in Japanese.” He gave me a small smile back. “See, that’s funny.” I frowned at the menu. There were English and Chinese translations. Either they didn’t have any other versions, or they thought CX was Chinese. Thankfully, there were pictures too. “Udon noodles for me,” I said, happily.

  “Ramyun,” CX countered. “Ramyun is always the right choice.”

  We were, however, choosing the same dish, just different noodles. Or I thought we were until the lady came back. Using a very crude method of pointing, CX gave her his order, then I gave her mine. At which point she started shaking her head at me. “No! No!” she said, making me wonder if I’d somehow picked a sacred dish and mortally offended her. “Hot! Hot!” she added, blowing and waving her hand.

  CX laughed at me. “She thinks you’re one of these foreigners who can’t handle spicy food.”

  I could feel my cheeks heating up as I pushed the menu at her. “Which?” I asked. She pointed at another udon dish, and I nodded. When I looked back to CX, he seemed amused. “I am one of those foreigners who can’t handle spicy food,” I confirmed, sadly.

  So suddenly it made me jump, CX started laughing loudly at me.

  “Go ahead and laugh,” I pouted. It just made him laugh harder.

  “That’s so funny,” he managed, between the laughter. “Just like how I thought being in Onyx would be a good idea.”

  “To be honest, I wouldn’t say either were particularly humorous,” I disagreed.

  The old lady was back with our Cokes, giving CX an amused smile as he continued to laugh.

  Seeing him laugh should have been good. He had a beautiful smile which completely lit up his oval face. But this wasn’t happy laughter. I waited until the laughing died away, before reaching over to brush his hair to the side. “So, that’s what this is about? You don’t think joining Onyx is a good idea?”

  CX’s expression grew grim as he shook his head, moving out of my reach. “The previous group I was in disbanded because of a scandal, and I brought my bad luck with me. Now Onyx is suffering and it’s all my fault. I’m not even getting the songs right.”

  “Actually, you were,” I corrected him. “If anything, Youngbin and JongB were struggling to learn the rearranged choreography.”

  “You’re lying,” CX said, scowling.

  Rolling my eyes, my phone was back out of my pocket. I quickly did a search for any video the fans had taken and uploaded already. I selected a video at random and played it without the sound. “You tell me if I’m lying.”

  CX watched in silence, then looked at me, perplexed. “Then why were they booing at me?”

  “I don’t think they were booing at you,” I told him. At his look of disbelief, I shook my head. “I don’t. I think they were booing because of a misunderstanding. It wasn’t that they didn’t want you there, but that they wanted Xiao there. I just don’t think they understood. And it was only a small number of thousands in that stadium. I absolutely don’t agree with what they did at all, but I don’t think it was you, so much as Xiao’s absence.”

  “They still booed, Kate.”

  “Yes,” I agreed. “And for every one of them, there was probably a thousand cheering.” I leaned forward. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to know what it feels like to be in your shoes, but I’m going to quote someone who knows their shit: ‘Haters gonna hate, hate, hate’. You were really unlucky to have that many of them right in front of you, but I guarantee they won’t be the last. I’m a nobody, but I still get trolls commenting on my Instagram.”

  CX blinked slowly. “Did you just quote Taylor Swift at me?”

  “That woman has seen shit,” I told him, deadpan. I took a breath, then, before I could give it a second thought, reached out for his hand. “Sure, there may be ten people who don’t want you in Onyx. There may be ten more who are bitter you’ve replaced the other guy – Bohyun?” I shrugged. “The important thing is that Onyx want you to be there, and that you want to be there. Let me assure you on both counts, that the answer is yes.”

  “Youngbin hates me,” he said, miserably. “All he has done is yell at me.”

  “Look, I’m not an idol,” I sighed. “So, yes, it
did seem that he was yelling at you a lot. But he was yelling at himself more: he wants to get this right. But Yongsik, Onyx want you there.”

  “What makes you so sure?” he asked.

  “What makes you so sure?” I countered. He looked taken aback at this, pulling his hand free from mine. “All of them were worried when you weren’t at that gate. They were trying to hold the plane up for you. I can guarantee in just over an hour, when they land in Hong Kong, the first thing they’re going to do is ring you and then ring me.” I pointed in the rough direction of his pocket. “Check your phone.”

  The look CX gave me was one of suspicion, but he did as I said. I couldn’t see properly, but there were definitely a lot of missed calls and messages. “That doesn’t mean they want me. They don’t like me: they don’t want me.”

  “Oh, bullshit,” I declared, rolling my eyes.

  “Excuse me,” CX said, startled. He glanced around, seeing that my outburst had caught the attention of a neighboring table and he pulled his cap down. Then he looked back at me with a glare. “That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?”

  “Is it?” I asked. I folded my arms, leaning forward. “If you wanted chocolates and tissues, you probably should have gotten on that plane, because the only thing you’re going to get is plain speaking from me. I’ve been as nice as I can, but here’s the truth: you are part of Onyx now and they want you as part of them.”

  “They don’t even know me.”

  “Dude, you may be smart, but you’re also an idiot, though I’m going to let you chalk this one up to stress. How long have you been in Onyx?”

  CX was glowering at me, probably because I’d just called him an idiot. “A month.”

  “Then of course you’re not going to be BFFs just yet. Those guys were together for ages and they’ve created their bonds. You’ve got to put in the time to get to know them too, and that doesn’t happen overnight. You’ve been there maybe two weeks longer than me. The longest conversation I’ve had with MinMin was about you disappearing tonight. Does that mean he hates me? No,” I answered my own question. “The only encounters I’ve had with Youngbin have been him getting stressy with me. Does that mean he hates me?”

  “Youngbin is just intense,” CX answered. “He wants things right. He wants us to be the best we can be for the fans. I’m sure he’s just focused on that. I don’t think he hates you.”

  I may have had my own doubts, but CX didn’t need to know that. “Exactly,” I agreed. “So far, I’ve spent a little bit of time with Xiao and JongB, and that wasn’t exactly quality conversation time.”

  CX arched an eyebrow. Lord, I hoped my cheeks weren’t going as red as they felt like they were going.

  “You’re probably the one person I’ve spoken to properly since I joined you guys,” I continued before he could say anything. “And I still don’t think we know that much about each other. Friendships take time, Yongsik – and that’s when you haven’t spent more time dancing than talking.”

  “That doesn’t mean I want to be here.”

  I tilted my head. “I’m not going to pretend I can read your mind, but I’m not sure you believe that any more than I do.”

  Before he could respond, the lady had come back with our bowls of noodles. Aside from the slurp of us eating noodles, silence settled over us. I was so hungry, I ate the bowl at double my normal speed. They were delicious. Toying with the idea of ordering a second bowl, but deciding against it, I settled back in my seat and closed my eyes. Now that I had eaten, I wanted to sleep. It was some ridiculous hour in the morning.

  That was a point.

  We needed to get a ticket for the next flight to Hong Kong. I grabbed my phone and bank card. “Passport,” I requested, while I scanned the flights. There was one in an hour.

  “What for?” CX asked, suspiciously.

  “You know, I’m going to rethink that genius title,” I informed him. “To buy us a plane ticket.”

  “To where?”

  “Hong Kong, because you are not a quitter, and your group are worried about you. And if we can get on it now, we can get there before Manager Sungmin learns we never made the first plane…” I frowned, glancing at the clock on my phone. “Which is going to require some luck, because the one he is going to be on leaves forty-five minutes after ours, so we need to initiate stealth mode and ninja it to our gate.”

  CX pulled his passport out and handed it over. I said nothing other than thank you. He wanted to be an idol. He’d just had a really bad day, was stressed, and the idea of running away had seemed more appealing. I could relate: I’d been there before.

  I secured our tickets then we paid and left. CX pulled his hat and mask down and we hurried through the airport. I kept my fingers crossed we wouldn’t run into Sungmin.

  Once we were safely at the gate, I pulled out my phone and sent a message to JongB. It’s just after 3am. Me and CX will be on a plane to HK by the time you read this. Get to the hotel safely, we’ll see you there, and don’t tell Sungmin! X

  The gate, thankfully, was in a corner and the area was quiet. We settled into a seat where we would be able to see Sungmin and the others if they happened to come down our way. Hopefully, with everything being closed, our luck would hold.

  “You were right,” CX suddenly announced.

  I turned my head to him. “About?”

  “Onyx. I want to be in Onyx. It’s just…” he let out a deep sigh.

  “I know,” I said, reaching over to pat his knee. “Don’t worry.”

  He gave me a small smile. “Thank you for staying with me.”

  “I just wanted noodles,” I gave him a wink.

  제 15 장

  Let Me

  CX and I slept the whole way to Hong Kong. Thankfully, the only luggage we had was my backpack, and because Onyx had already arrived, and Sungmin was still to land and collect all the luggage, we made a clean get away from the airport.

  Hong Kong, I also discovered, had a lot of English speaking citizens. That made hailing a taxi and taking the extortionately priced ride over the series of islands to the hotel a lot easier. When we arrived, Youngbin and MinMin were waiting for us with Ina and the key to my room. As soon as MinMin saw CX he leaped at him, wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tightly.

  “We didn’t tell Sungmin,” Youngbin told me, shortly.

  “Go easy on him,” I told him, quietly. I glanced at my clock with a sigh. It was after six and despite sleeping on the plane, I was exhausted. Sungmin had said the plan was to go to the venue for lunch time and that wasn’t much sleep. When I looked up, I found Youngbin still in front of me. “Yes?”

  “Thank you.” With that, he turned around and ushered CX and MinMin towards the elevator.

  OK, then…

  Ina started babbling at me, and it took me a moment to understand she was telling me that tonight – or this morning – we were sharing a room. I didn’t care. I just wanted a bed. I followed her, joining the others in the elevator. I was last off, but CX turned back to me. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you for staying with me.”

  I gave him a tired smile, nodding. “I’d say ‘anytime’, but I hope we don’t have to repeat this. You’ve got this.”

  MinMin turned back, grabbing CX’s hand and dragging him towards the room they were sharing. I followed behind them, then went into the room I was sharing with Ina. I didn’t even bother to take off my clothes, crashing on the bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

  Crisis averted.

  Banging woke me up.

  I rolled over, dazed, dehydrated, and full of headache. Muttering curses under my breath, I opened the door and found Sungmin standing behind it, his face as black as thunder.

  “In my room, now.”

  Confusion, followed by dirty thoughts, followed by more confusion ran through my mind. Judging from his expression, dirty thoughts were currently not appropriate. He looked like he wanted to spank me… And not in a good way.

  I entertained that idea fo
r five seconds before I tried to speak. My mouth was dry, and I had to clear my throat. “What’s wrong, Sungmin?”

  “My room,” he repeated, turning on his heel and stormed off.

  Still in a bit of a daze, I followed him.

  The whole of Onyx and Ina were in his room, and I suddenly knew exactly why we were in there. Judging from their expressions, so did they. JongB gave me the subtlest shake of his head as I walked past. That gave me hope.

  The room was crowded, full of cases and people. On the table at the foot of the bed, Sungmin’s iPad was on and open at a webpage. “Would anyone care to explain why CX is not in this photo?” Sungmin asked.

  “I wasn’t there, hyungnim,” CX told him, hanging his head.

  “I can tell that,” Sungmin agreed. He looked like he wanted to throttle someone.

  “I went-”

  “That’s my fault,” I cut the maknae off. He’d had a hard-enough time already. “I had gone for a drink and he had gone to get me, only we ended up missing the flight. We got the next available one.”

  “He should have just let you miss it,” Sungmin snapped at me.

  “Yes sir,” CX agreed.

  “Again, my fault,” I said, holding up a hand. “I didn’t realize how far I’d wandered trying to find somewhere open. I never intended on missing that flight.”

  Sungmin turned to me. “The issue isn’t missing the flight. The issue is the fact that I had to learn about it in the news this morning. Right now, social media is alive with speculation that things aren’t right in the group. First Bohyun, then Xiao, now CX?” He snatched up his iPad, scrolled down the page, jammed his thumb on something and then showed me a picture. “On top of that, there are now rumors that CX and you are having an affair.”

  I stared at the picture, cringing for several reasons. I won’t lie: one was because I looked like shit. But the main reason was because somehow, someone had decided something was happening between the two of us, just because we had left an airport together? Did people really have nothing better to do? “You know that’s not true, right?” I asked him.