by Amanda Tru
Forgive me, Father. You are more than enough for me.
Help me, she repeated on a loop in time with the music. Make me whole again. Help me see where You have been all this time and how You see me.
Pastor Bennett dismissed everyone, but Ada wasn’t ready for this moment to be over. Kent offered to let the kids know where she was and left her with a comforting squeeze and gentle kiss to her temple.
Ada’s eyes remained closed, saturated by a fresh wave of peace. God was enough, and He lived in her. The love of Christ, His grace, it was enough.
She didn’t have to be.
There have to be eyedrops in this desk somewhere. Kent opened drawer after drawer at his desk, but they weren’t anywhere.
Sometimes you have to dig to find something, son. Recalling his mother’s frequent admonition made him smile. He pulled the middle drawer out again and moved a few things around. He really should organize all the odds and ends. Later. For now, he needed to soothe the tired burn from staring at the computer screen too long.
Mercifully he hadn’t had any appointments today, the last day before break, and was able to catch up on transferring his hastily jotted notes into the electronic records for each student. Admittedly, he’d been procrastinating the last half hour searching for holiday date ideas.
Ha! There you are! He lifted the small plastic bottle in a victory fist. The drops stung going in, but after a moment with his eyes shut, he could blink without feeling like he’d walked through a sandstorm.
A few more hard blinks and Kent was ready to get back to work. More accurately, planning a family-friendly outing with the Danvers gang.
Now there was a thought—the River of Lights at the botanic gardens. Mom and Pop had taken him and his sisters a couple times growing up. Good memories. Nothing quite like meandering through intricate light displays, especially ones that moved or appeared to. He remembered it being magical. Would Ada’s crew feel the same?
The early winter weather had been mild thus far, but living in the desert didn’t exempt residents from heavy snowstorms. Checking the weather before making plans would be wise. A few clicks later and two different weather sites showed clear skies for the next ten days.
It would’ve been nice to have a white Christmas, but at least this way, he could make a few plans without fear of snowmageddon. Kent picked up the receiver on his desk phone and dialed Ada’s extension. She might not be on campus this late in the day, but it was worth a try.
“Library, Ms. Danvers speaking.” A warm feeling bloomed at the sound of her voice.
“Hello, Ms. Danvers, this is Mr. Clark.”
Her laugh caused the warm feeling to spread. “Kent! Am I late? I’ve been trying to clean up the shelves. You wouldn’t believe how many books get put back in the completely wrong places.”
“You aren’t late. Wasn’t even sure we had definite plans, though I’d love to make some.”
“Yeah? Well, it just so happens that Karalee was invited to sleep over at Taylor’s tonight, and I just got a text that the other two are going to meet some friends from youth group to do one of those escape room things.”
“That sounds fun.”
“I know! I’m a little jealous. I’ve never done one before.”
Kent made a mental note to book an excursion after the holidays. “Me either. Want to hit Dino’s and catch a dollar movie?”
“Sounds fancy,” Ada teased with a silly inflection.
“Teacher life.” Kent shrugged, even though no one could see the action. “It’s how we roll.”
“Too true. We have a rating scale in our house. Opening show, full price, matinee, dollar theater, wait for streaming. You can imagine how often the first two options happen.”
He sat up straight at the defeated exhale that came through his earpiece. “What’s wrong, Ada?”
“I’m still kicking myself about those movie tickets. The kids have been dying to see it.”
“I know, babe.” Wait. Babe? Why did he say that? “It’ll work out in the end. Seeing it a few days or weeks later won’t matter a whole lot.” Her scoff burst loudly in his ear. “Okay, you’re right. Spoilers.”
“Exactly,” she blew out on a sigh. “Even over break, the internet will be full of them.”
“Breathe. Let’s see what we can work out. In the meantime, Dino’s and,” he pulled up the bargain theater’s showtimes on his computer. “There’s a chick flick or a thriller we could see.”
“Will you think less of me if I want the chick flick?”
Kent let out a dramatic sigh and grinned, wishing they were face to face instead of over the phone. “I suppose I could suffer through. For you.”
“I suppose I could make it worth your while.”
“Yeah?” He grinned.
“Yeah. I’ll bring my secret stash of Junior Mints. I know how you love those.”
“Not exactly what I had in mind, but…”
“Hmm.”
He heard the smile in her voice. Fun as this was, he’d rather see it in person. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand? Make like a tree and leaf? Hit the road, Jack?”
“You’re such a dork.” Her words were punctuated by little chuckles as she spoke.
“I do try, m’lady.”
The sound of her tickled laughter put an enormous grin on his face. He’d do just about anything to get her to laugh like that more often.
“I’ll meet you outside your office in five.”
“Can’t wait.”
Kent hurried to shut down the computer and grabbed his keys, whistling Hit the Road, Jack all the way out the door.
Her happy sigh curled visibly in the cold night air. Kent had been right. This place was magical.
“I’m so glad you suggested this. It’s perfect.”
“So are you.”
Ada rolled her eyes at Kent’s cheesy delivery, complete with waggled eyebrows. Her lips couldn’t hold back the grin, though. He always seemed to know just how to coax the smiles and laughter out of her.
“Yeah, not so much. But thank you.” She lifted on her toes to reward him with a quick kiss.
“Ew, gross!” Karalee protested with a grimace that made them all laugh.
Heat flooded Ada’s cheeks, the only warm spot on her half-frozen face. Three days until Christmas and the temperature had finally deferred to the calendar.
The five of them were bundled up and strolling through the Biopark’s River of Lights tour. Well, she and the girls were bundled up. Kent and Xander wore coats and beanies with their hands shoved into their pockets against the cold while she, Jane, and Karalee were wrapped in sweaters, thick coats, beanies, gloves, and scarves. Adaline wished for something warmer on her legs than just jeans, though.
She was a wimp and unashamed to admit it. Her eyes grazed over Kent’s profile as they walked side by side behind the kids. So handsome with his dark olive skin and light eyes with those unfairly long lashes. The slightly wider nose and full lips that could drive her crazy with their soft kisses. Not that she should be thinking about kisses after being caught by Karalee.
“What’s been your favorite so far?” The rumble of his voice sent her heart pumping, its warmth spreading through her whole chest.
“I think the cluster of butterflies that looked like their wings were fluttering was the best. I mean, it’s all beautiful, but….” Her voice trailed off as she took it all in.
“You said it’s been a while?”
She nodded. “When the kids were really little and I stayed home with them, we had a membership. I’d bring them to the zoo, aquarium, or botanic gardens every week or two. We usually came to the River of Lights as a family once a year, sometimes with Jeff’s parents or mine if they came to town. Last time, I think Kare was…,” she did some mental calculations. “She was maybe three?”
Just before they’d gotten pregnant again.
“So, she might not even remember it.”
Ada brushed away a sudden onset of guilt and made a
conscious effort to smile. “But she won’t likely forget this visit. I guess that’s good, right?”
“Uh-huh. Like a new version of an old tradition.”
He reached for her hand, and she let him slide their fingers together. His hand would probably get cold, but maybe her gloved one would provide some insulation.
“You know,” Kent paused, squeezing her fingers. She halted her steps to meet his eyes. “I’m hoping we’ll make a lot of new traditions down the road.”
The darkness couldn’t mask the flicker of insecurity she noticed in the depths of his eyes with that admission. After her previous reluctance to announce their relationship, she didn’t want him to doubt for another minute that she felt exactly the same. “Me, too.”
His eyes crinkled as his lips curved into that off-kilter grin that turned her insides to complete mush.
With a quick peck to her temple, he tugged her hand and started walking again. They strolled through more intricate light displays, marveling at the details and sheer size of many of them. Most were biology related—plants, animals, insects, and so forth. The Biopark Society hosted the event as a fundraiser, so the homage made sense.
By the time they circled back to the beginning, Karalee’s complaining had turned whiny. “My feeeeeeeet hurt. I’m cold. Are we done yet?”
Ada met Kent’s raised eyebrow with one of her own. “So much for her making happy new memories, huh?”
He shrugged. “Kids.”
“So true.”
Xander and Jane had been surprisingly engaged for the past two hours and had hardly checked their phones at all. She stepped between them and wrapped them into a double hug. “That was pretty fun, right?”
“Yeah,” Xander shrugged.
Ada smiled at his typical nonchalance and looked to her oldest daughter.
Jane stared across the expanse with a far-off look. “I forgot how pretty it was. It brought back so many memories. The sculpture thingies look familiar, but not, you know?”
Ada agreed. “I wonder if they mostly use the same ones every year and just put them in new spots, or if they come up with all new ones to match a theme or something.”
“It’s a little of both.”
All five of them turned at the unfamiliar voice. The man was hard to see from where they stood, huddled to the side of one of the sculptures. Dressed in dark clothes, he carried a white five-gallon bucket that carried what appeared to be tools.
“Hey, man,” Kent interjected, extending a hand. “I didn’t know you worked here.”
“Uh, hi. Yeah. Been doing some of the electrical work. Sorry to interrupt your night, I was just making a quick repair when I overheard.”
“Oh, it’s fine. Thanks for answering my question.” Ada piped up, looking from the man to Kent.
The guy didn’t even bother to say goodbye before disappearing into the crowd.
“That was weird. You know that guy?” Leave it to Xander to say what she was thinking.
Kent shrugged. “Not really, he’s a neighbor.” A frown crinkled his forehead. “That really was weird.”
“Can we get cocoa now?” Ada sighed at Karalee’s continued complaining.
Patience, Ada. Be better, remember?
“Sure, honey. Everybody ready?” Heads bobbed.
They started off toward the front gates, Ada running a constant headcount while gripping Karalee’s hand as they pushed through the throng. It looked like half the city was squeezed into the place.
Out of nowhere, a body slammed right into Ada, ripping her daughter’s hand from hers and nearly knocking them to the ground. Once she recovered, she whirled to see a woman dusting herself off, an apologetic look on her face that diffused the reproach on Ada’s tongue. A man nearby extended a hand to Kent, wearing a similar expression.
Xander muttered something with a fierce glare aimed at the couple. The woman apologized profusely.
“It’s okay. We’ll live.” Ada assured, giving Xander a pointed look and motioning with her hand to let it go.
“I guess we lost him,” the guy who’d run into Kent said after searching the crowd one last time and tugging a hand through his hair.
“You were chasing that guy?” Kent nodded toward the gate.
Which guy? There were like ten thousand guys.
Ada couldn’t hear what the man was saying to Kent, but he turned and smiled at Xander. “Cool beanie,” the man’s tone was light and friendly.
Ada looked to her son. He’d worn his favorite red and yellow wool hat with a lightning bolt logo in the center. His too-long curls stuck out beneath it, flooding her with memories of him at five or six years old.
She smiled when the group got lost in conversation about their favorite superhero characters and their excitement over the upcoming release of Shadows of Night Part Two. Ada’s gut twisted at the reminder of how she’d failed to follow through on her promise to get tickets.
No, Ada. You didn’t fail. At least, not irreparably. It’ll be okay.
Her ears perked back to the conversation as she registered that the woman said something about a little girl with cancer and trying to find her dad. The lurch in Ada’s heart stole her breath away.
“…he took off before we could even explain who we were. Now we have no idea where to find him, and we need to leave tomorrow.” The woman’s voice was filled with sorrow and pain.
Karalee whimpered, “Oh, no!” and looked to Ada. How she wished she could shield her baby girl from this knowledge, but that was impossible. Kara’s sweet face twisted with such sadness, Ada pulled her in with one arm and wrapped another around Jane. She couldn’t even imagine.
“I know where he is.”
Kent went on to tell them that he’d recognized the man they’d been chasing as the very same one who’d answered her question about the lights not even a half-hour ago. His neighbor. Crazy.
Hope illuminated the couple’s faces.
“You’ll give us his address?” The man’s gaze fixed on Kent, who dictated the information as the woman typed it into her phone.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” the woman gushed, holding her phone like a precious gift.
“We’ll be praying it works out,” Ada assured her.
Karalee squeezed her hand, looking from the woman to Ada and back. “Can you tell us if the little girl gets to see her daddy?”
The woman assured she would after collecting their information and saying their goodbyes.
“Godspeed. We’ll be praying for you guys. Have a Merry Christmas!” Kent lifted his hand toward the retreating couple.
Somberness permeated the air around them as people milled about laughing and smiling, completely unaware that across the country, a dying girl just wanted to see her daddy. Jarred by the sound of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer now blaring through the nearby speakers, Ada felt the sorrow dissipate some.
Karalee giggled at the lyrics. If only adults could move past painful moments as easily as children did.
She looked to Kent, who was examining her face intently. There was nothing they could do for the couple or the little girl now but pray. And maybe hold her kids a little closer, grateful for healthy, happy children.
Kent filled the empty space next to her now that Karalee had bounded away, waving invisible jingle bells. Ada lifted to her toes and kissed his cheek. “That was a crazy scene, wasn’t it? But you helped. You really are Superman.”
“Nah,” he started to say. “Though I wouldn’t say no to another reward.” His eyebrows wiggled as he puckered his lips, waiting.
“You look like one of the fish over in the aquarium,” she laughed before touching her lips to his with a loud, silly smack.
“Seriously! Yuck!” gagged Karalee.
“You won’t always think that,” Jane said knowingly.
Xander tried to hide his grin. Teenagers.
“Yuck? Yuck, you say?” Ada scooped Karalee into a wild hug and smattered kisses all over her face. “I’ll show you yuck!” Ka
ralee thrashed while giggling as Ada dotted her with several more.
She set her silly monkey back on the ground and laughed when Kare dragged her sleeve across her face.
“Let’s go get cocoa!”
Karalee’s feet dangled an inch above the floor of the ice cream shop she’d conned them into upon leaving River of Lights. She dug her spoon into a double-scoop cup of bubble gum and cotton candy. Kent suppressed the urge to shudder. He’d never understand kids’ tastebuds.
One table over, Jane sucked on a milkshake while hotly debating fandoms with Xander. Kent tried to follow along until they started in on obscure characters he’d never heard of.
Ada sipped the coffee she’d insisted on stopping for first. Rocky road melted in his bowl as they reminisced about the lights and listened to Karalee prattle on about her favorites.
“Mom, I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Okay, well go. It’s right there,” Ada pointed.
“But I don’t want to go in there by myself,” she whined. It’s creepy.”
Ada raised a brow. “Creepy?”
“Yeah. When we washed hands earlier, there was only one light on, and it was blinky.”
Ada’s brow twitched. Kent looked from one to the other, engrossed in the strange battle of wills playing out. He’d offer to stand guard outside the door, but that might defeat whatever had Ada standing her ground.
“Come on, Squirt. Women always go to the bathroom in pairs.” Saved by the big sister.
Jane shut the door behind them, and the click of the lock sounded through the quiet shop. Ada frowned. Why?
Now he was frowning. “What was that about?”
“I’m trying to give her safe opportunities to be independent. But Kare doesn’t like independence all that much. She still finds a way to con everybody into doing things with her and for her.”
“Must be a youngest thing. My little sister was like that,” he grinned.
Ada slumped in her chair. “I know I’m supposed to pick my battles, and I need to remember she’s only nine. She has years to learn independence. But I’m sitting, what, ten feet from the door? Is that normal?”