by Amanda Tru
Geneva turned to Carter. “Dr. Solomon, how long does Allie have if we do nothing?”
Carter shook his head. “Not long. She’s not doing well. Based on my experience with other patients, she has a month to six weeks, maybe less.”
Kara gasped. “No!”
Though he spoke with compassion, Carter gave the facts firmly, not trying to sugarcoat the truth. “Based on Allie’s test results last summer, I would have given the patient six months to live. Nothing we have tried has slowed the progress of the cancer. We are almost to the six-month mark.”
“I can’t accept that!” Kara’s features strained with desperation, and Geneva saw how much older her friend looked.
Light wrinkles extended from her eyes and mouth, her once bright hazel eyes were now dull, and her dark hair streaked lightly with gray. Allie’s disease was taking a toll on more than just the little girl.
“This is not okay!” Kara protested painfully. “It was never supposed to be like this! When Allie was first diagnosed, they told me that childhood leukemia is very treatable. They cited crazy percentages—like eighty-five percent of cases are cured! It wasn’t as easy a fix as they thought, but she eventually did go into remission. Now it’s back, and you’re telling me that my daughter is going to die from ‘very treatable childhood leukemia,’ and there is nothing you can do about it?”
Carter and Geneva held steady under Kara’s anger. Kara had every right to be angry. She should be angry. Cancer was wrong, especially in a child.
“Kara, you absolutely should be angry,” Carter said genuinely. “Everything about cancer is unfair, and I don’t have the ‘why’ answers for you. While we have great success results with childhood leukemia, those numbers still aren’t at one hundred percent. That means that some children aren’t cured, and some die. Allie’s cancer this second time around is different and more aggressive. I don’t know why nothing has worked. It frustrates me that I haven’t found a way to be her Superman and get her well.”
Geneva hurt. Oh, how she hurt. She hurt for Allie. She hurt for Kara. But she also hurt for Carter. Being the doctor of a terminal child was a terrible position. The guilt and sense of responsibility took an enormous toll. Though Carter handled the pressure well, a man with his heart wasn’t immune, and she knew Allie’s case took a lot out of him.
“Carter, how long does Allie have if we pull out all the stops and treat her with everything we have to prolong her life?” Geneva realized that she’d just dropped the formal “Dr. Solomon,” but she just couldn’t manage to keep up the professional pretense right now. They were discussing the life of a child who meant so much to each of them. In this reality, he was just “Carter.”
Carter pursed his lips. “In my opinion? Even if we do everything humanly possible, Allie won’t live past four to six weeks.”
“Four to six weeks!” Kara gasped. “That’s exactly what you said for if we do nothing!”
“Yes,” Carter answered steadily.
The same. Whether they did anything or not, Allie had the same number of days to live.
“I don’t understand,” Kara choked out.
“Like I said, nothing has worked or slowed the progress of the cancer,” Carter explained. “It is unlikely that anything will start working in the next few weeks. Maybe we can prolong her life, but the greater chance is that we can’t. What will those efforts cost us in Allie’s final days? Medically speaking, Allie is dying and has a very short amount of time left with us. I think we should do whatever we can to make her comfortable and enjoy a special goodbye.”
“She wants Christmas,” Geneva said gravely. “Specifically, she wants a white Christmas.”
Carter nodded. “Christmas is a good goal. We are about two weeks away. Let’s aim for that.”
Kara’s sobs diminished to a soft, heartbroken cry. “Okay,” she finally said. “Tell me what I need to do to give my girl a good send-off to heaven.”
Over the next few minutes, they made arrangements for hospice care, discussed end of life arrangements and options, and detailed what Kara could expect in the coming days. Before they finished, Carter bowed his head and prayed for strength, comfort, and wisdom, especially for Kara.
Kara finally left to go back to Allie’s room, and Geneva promised to call her later for some information she’d need. She followed on Kara’s heels, leaving Carter’s office before he had a chance to call her back.
Unfortunately, Geneva was by no means done for the night.
“I thought you’d be home long before now.”
Carter’s voice startled Geneva, and she looked up, blinking from her computer.
“No, I had a bunch of work still to do,” she explained briefly, turning immediately back to her screen.
Geneva had been working at the same hospital as Carter for months now, and this was the first time he had darkened the door of her office. She had accepted Dr. Neely’s offer and was now putting in hours in Brighton Falls as well as maintaining her clinic in Crossroads. Dr. Neely’s offer was a good one, and the thought of being closer to Allie outweighed the trepidation of working in proximity to Carter.
So far, it was a good decision. Her work for the hospital proved very fulfilling and paid well. She also didn’t encounter Carter too much except for the occasional consult phone call and taking care of Allie.
“You’re working too hard,” Carter said, lounging back in the chair beside hers.
“You should look in the mirror,” Geneva said dryly. “It’s midnight, and I’m pretty sure you’re not on call tonight.”
Carter leaned forward, his brown eyes intense and concerned. “Yes, it’s midnight, and you aren’t researching something for your day job.”
Geneva sighed, knowing that her computer screen had given her away. “You’re right. I was researching some alternative options for a child with terminal leukemia.”
“Find anything?”
“Not yet. But I will.”
“So, all that talk in front of Kara was a farce? You’re still determined to save her?”
“No, it wasn’t a farce. It was the right thing to do and to say, so I did it and said it. That doesn’t mean that I’m okay with leaning back and doing nothing.”
Carter stood. “I will leave you to whatever ‘something’ it is that will make you feel better.” Before he reached the door, he turned back around. “Gen, sometimes you need to realize you’re not the one in control. Allie isn’t breathing by the sheer force of Geneva Hutchins’ willpower. Maybe you need to let her go to the One in whose hands she really belongs. But you already know that. Shoot, you can preach the sermon yourself. I’ve heard you do it. Saying something and following through with actions are two entirely different things.”
“I won’t give up.”
“I know. But, instead of helping her physically, maybe you should turn your ‘not giving up’ in a different direction. You can’t fix this, Geneva, but maybe there’s something else you can fix. God doesn’t always give us the miracle we think we need. If we’re lucky, He will involve us in a miracle even more profound.”
Carter walked out the door, and Geneva had the absurd urge to toss her pen at the door after him. She would have if she didn’t mind breaking her good pen. Aggravating man. He always seemed to think he had the answers. It was even more aggravating when he was right.
Geneva turned back to her computer, doing a little more pointless research.
You can’t fix this, Geneva.
Carter’s words echoed through her mind, and she finally folded her arms and put her head to her desk.
Ok, Lord, I give. You apparently won’t let me fix this. But I have to do something productive. I can’t sit back and watch her die with my hands completely tied. What would you have me do?
Christmas. Snow. Daddy.
She couldn’t do anything about snow for Christmas. But what if she could do something about the other one.
Thoughtfully, she pulled out her phone and dialed Kara. She knew her fri
end would be awake, even at this hour.
“Hi, Kara,” she greeted. “Can I have the last known address for your ex-husband?”
Geneva snapped the overhead bin shut and took the window seat. She clicked her seatbelt together and breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that she’d gotten the front end of the plane’s boarding queue. She liked the window seat.
“Is this seat taken?”
Geneva jumped at the sound of Carter’s voice so near, testing the strength of her newly fastened seatbelt.
“W-What are you doing here?” she stammered.
Carter stowed his own suitcase overhead and took the seat next to her without waiting for her permission. “I’m going with you,” he announced.
“I don’t understand.” No one knew where she was going. Yet here Carter was, parked on the same flight in the seat next to her, and announcing that he was her travel companion.
“Our mission is to find Allie’s dad and bring him home for Christmas, right?”
“Did Kara tell you what I was doing?” But even that didn’t make sense. Kara knew part of Geneva’s plan, but she didn’t know where she was going.
“No, she did not,” Carter replied. “I think Kara has too much on her plate to concern herself with anyone but Allie. I confirmed with Kara what I’d already learned, but it was a short conversation. Besides, Kara isn’t the type to broadcast your travel plans to your ex without your express permission.”
“Sydney!” Geneva growled with sudden inspiration. “Sydney told you, didn’t she? But how did she know? Is she spying on me and hacking my email and bank account?”
Carter ignored her question. “Geneva, it doesn’t matter how I found out. You should have told me your plans.”
“Why? Since when do I need my travel plans approved by my ex-boyfriend from four years ago?”
“I care about Allie, too.” Carter’s chin set, and his gaze pierced hers accusingly. “You’re trying to find her dad. Did it occur to you that I might want to help?”
“No, it didn’t,” Geneva said honestly. “I never take any time off work, so I have plenty of vacation time. I told my family I was headed out of town for a few days. I didn’t want to leave Allie, but I thought I left her in good hands—yours. Now you’re here, and Allie is alone.”
“Allie is not alone and will have the best possible care,” Carter explained. “However, since we are not actively treating her cancer, that care doesn’t really involve me anymore. I placed her with our best doctors to manage her hospice care in my absence, and I arranged for daily updates. Like you, I also have a nice stockpile of vacation days. I’ll tag along with you for as long as it takes to find her dad.”
“I told Allie that I was leaving to work on a surprise and that I’ll be back before Christmas,” Geneva admitted. “I hope I can deliver that. Someone told me to focus my rescue efforts in a different direction instead of saving her physically. I just hope this is the right one.”
A large man came down the aisle and took the seat beside Carter, sandwiching him in the middle. Carter scooted so close to Geneva that their legs touched, making Geneva even more aware and uncomfortable in his presence.
Geneva glanced around at the full plane as their new travel companion maneuvered his girth into the confines of the seat. With the flight already near capacity, she recognized the seating arrangement as inescapable. The man wiggled his body to get settled, sending Carter further Geneva’s direction.
Finally, he turned to them, his narrow lips curving up in a wide grin, “They just don’t make these seats like they used to, do they?”
Jabba the Hutt. Geneva immediately labeled him, noting his small eyes and wide mouth as he sat in the small seat like a Buddha atop a pedestal. With a secretive smile, she hoped this jovial fellow passenger didn’t get airsick. If his face paled to anywhere on the grayish-green spectrum, she felt certain of his immediate transformation into the infamous crime boss of fictional galaxies.
A swift glance at Carter revealed him as the more likely candidate to turn green. If he held his breath and squeezed toward Geneva anymore, he’d be a goner for sure. She really didn’t need to babysit a companion on this trip.
“So, we’re going to Kentucky?” Carter asked, obviously trying to offer a conversation to distract from their awkward seating arrangement.
“I still don’t understand why Sydney called you,” she grumbled irritably, refusing the bait. “And she apparently got you my flight info as well. I’m fine on my own. I really don’t need a babysitter.”
“This isn’t about you, Geneva.” Carter’s irritation matched her own. “You’re off to find a miracle. I want a piece of that action. Why should you be the only one getting the blessing of being used by God to bring a dying little girl’s daddy back to her for one last goodbye? Share with me. Please.”
Geneva didn’t quite believe that to be his sole motive for joining her, nor Sydney’s reason for sending him, but when he put it that way, she couldn’t really refuse. “Yes, we’re going to Kentucky,” she finally granted, resigning herself to the inevitable. After all, the guy was already on the plane, and unless she wanted to start an incident that would get them both kicked off, then he was coming with her.
She kept her mouth shut while a perky flight attendant performed a rousing rendition of the standard routine explaining the safety procedures. Only after they had left the runway and were several thousand feet above the ground did Geneva speak again.
“I got all the information I could from Kara,” she explained finally. “The last address she had for Jimmy Drew was in Oklahoma. I called and found his place of employment there, but they said he’d not stayed long. After a few more calls, his former landlady gave me a Kentucky forwarding address. Kara said that Jimmy was originally from Kentucky, but the address I have is just a P.O. box in the same town where his family lived. I did more research, and I’ve found a street address for a James Drew. Of course, there are multiple James Drews, Jim Drews, and Jimmy Drews in just about every town in Kentucky. Based on what Kara said about his family, I think I narrowed it down to the right one. I have no phone number, though. I thought the best course of action was to go to Kentucky myself. If this turns out to be the wrong James Drew, then I can investigate the other names in the area.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
And that was the end of their conversation. With a slight incline of his head, Carter indicated the listening ears of Jabba the Hutt beside him. While their fellow passenger raised his eyebrows and looked at Geneva expectantly, waiting for her to retrieve her part of the conversation once again, Carter took out his laptop and proceeded to ignore both of his neighbors for the rest of the flight.
Geneva turned to look out the window, finding a vast, gray blanket of clouds spread far below like swirled frosting atop a sheet cake. Pretending Carter was nothing more than some random stranger to politely ignore for the rest of the flight suited her just fine. However, her body did not possess the discipline of her mind, and her skin rebelliously tingled every time either of them shifted positions slightly and accidentally connected their arms on the narrow armrests of their cramped space. Unfortunately, with the size and proximity of Jabba, those chance tingling encounters came frequently as Carter shifted ever closer to Geneva, working for every last millimeter of space from the wiggling man beside him.
They made it through their flight, a layover, and another flight with only minimal words spoken. The only thing of consequence was when Geneva leaned over slightly and whispered in Carter’s ear. “If you move any closer, you’ll be sitting in my lap!”
Unfazed, Carter leaned in and whispered back in her ear. “Trade me seats, and you can sit in my lap all you want.”
Geneva’s gaze shot to his. Was he flirting with her?
Carter’s chocolate eyes shone warm and teasing, and she didn’t know how to respond. She could take the stand-offish Carter who didn’t like her, or the professional one who stuck to the facts and held himself immune to any a
ctual feelings. She could not take the sweet and courteous one, or the flirty one who just chose to make an appearance. More than that, she couldn’t handle the whiplash of bouncing between the hot and cold vibes of Carter’s mood toward her.
In response, she dug her elbow into his ribs, willing herself not to feel the warm sensation the mere touch ignited. “Back off,” she said, hoping he’d understand the order as covering a much longer time period than just the present.
Carter grinned back. “Sorry, Gen. Not a chance. You’re stuck with me until we figure this out.”
Feeling confused, Geneva squeezed herself to the window and irritably turned her shoulder away from him. She knew “figure this out” meant finding Jimmy Drew, and yet she couldn’t seem to shake the idea of a deeper meaning to his words.
Get a grip, Geneva. He doesn’t want you. Never has. Never will.
She feigned great interest in the dark blanket of clouds below and promised herself one thing. No matter what happened in the next few days—no matter if they found Allie’s dad, no matter how wonderful or hot and cold Carter pretended to be—she would not let him get close enough to break her heart again.
If she accomplished nothing else, the man would stay in his own seat.
As soon as they walked out of the airport, Geneva’s phone began beeping with texts. She glanced at the screen with each beep but never missed a stride while pulling her wheeled suitcase behind her toward the rental car lot near the terminal. After stowing her suitcase in the trunk of a nondescript, gray sedan, she reluctantly granted Carter the keys before slipping into the passenger seat. Carter had insisted on signing the rental paperwork with her, granting both of them permission to drive the vehicle. Though she would have preferred to drive herself, Carter had won the debate for the time being, since he claimed to be familiar with Louisville.
While Carter pulled away from the airport and headed to a nearby hotel, Geneva attended to her still steadily-beeping phone. She idly thumbed through the texts, smiling at the one from “Drummer Boy” and another one from “The Sheriff.”