by C. C. Piper
“Whatcha doing, baby girl?”
“Playing with Daddy.”
With only the briefest of pauses, Roxy asked, “Did you two have a good time?”
“We played dress up.”
“I can see that.”
I hoped I could fix this with an apology, but as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, the front door creaked open and our daughter called out, “Raina!” She raced off to welcome her, leaving her mother and I alone.
“Look, Roxy, I probably shouldn’t have said anything or kept her up so far past her bedtime, but-”
Then she shocked the holy living shit out of me by falling into my arms and holding me tight. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve dreamt of this? Seeing you two together with her calling you Daddy?”
Oh. “So you’re okay with this?”
“I’m elated over this.”
Feeling awfully damn elated myself, I glanced down at her. Her seafoam green eyes were wet, her expression triumphant, and her bow-shaped mouth almost touching mine. It seemed the most natural thing ever to press my lips to hers, and the second I did, a sense of fulfillment settled over me, as if our kiss had completed some invisible electrical circuit.
She tasted fruity and sweet, and I deepened the kiss, caught up in the need to go further, to seek out more. Her arms cinched around my torso and she opened to me, her tongue massaging mine and her fingers dipping from my shoulder blades to down along my spine.
Everything else ceased to exist. It was like it’d been years ago. There was me, and there was Roxy. Just us. At least until we heard a gasp. Breaking apart, we glanced up to spot Raina in the doorway. Her eyes as round as saucers, she spoke, one hand to her throat.
“I was going to make a midnight snack and wondered how much food we’d need.”
“Enough for four,” Roxy said, peeking back up at me, offering her reassurance that what had transpired between us was no fluke. It made me grin like a lunatic. “Definitely four.”
13
Roxanne
It felt appropriate that Thanksgiving was approaching because I felt more gratitude than I would’ve thought possible. Jax had become a fixture in Callie’s life and in my own. Around our work schedules we’d begun to spend time not only at my apartment but at his house, as well, and he encouraged us to make ourselves at home.
Our daughter loved it there. While it was much larger than the apartment, it was also homey. I felt comfortable there, and from the look of glee on her features any time we went, Callie did, too. Of course, part of our daughter’s fascination with the place was due to the black tomcat who Jax kept calling a stray, even though he’d already adopted him.
I mean, the man had installed a special animal door, had named him Midnight and bought him food, toys and a selection of cat beds, for God’s sake.
Our daughter spent hours and hours petting and playing with the kitty as Jax and I watched from nearby. The three of us together provided a wonderful picture in my mind, one I hoped might become permanent.
Jax had already brought in a decorator to turn one of the second-floor bedrooms into Callie’s. “It just makes sense,” he told me when he showed it to me. “Our daughter needs a space of her own, no matter where she is.”
His thoughtfulness and consideration made me so hopeful that we could make this work.
We’d been visiting when Callie fell asleep on his couch. “I guess I should get her back to the apartment. It’s late and she’s wiped out.”
“I have a better idea,” Jax said, and went into his kitchen. From his pantry he pulled out a set of devices; a baby monitor and its receiver. Then he gathered our daughter into his arms and carried her to his version of her room. Once he settled her in the twin-sized bed, he whispered, “I know she’s probably a little old for this, but she’s in a new environment. This way we’ll be able to hear her if she wakes up.”
Smiling in approval, I followed him downstairs and back to his living room. We listened to her breathing as we talked about nothing, simply enjoying each other’s company. Two hours later, my own eyes were drooping. “Okay, I really need to get Callie and go now. It’s been a lovely evening. Thanks for having us over.”
I’d pushed myself to my feet and he’d joined me, but instead of helping me get our daughter ready to leave, he placed one hand on my shoulders while the other played with the fringe hanging off the ends of my scarf. Kissing me in a manner that said far more than goodnight, he looked into my eyes. “Stay.”
“Oh, but-”
He kissed me again, more insistently this time around. “Please, Rox. Stay. Stay with me.”
It had been just over three months since he’d blown back into my life again, into my life and Callie’s. Three months since he found out about my pregnancy. Three months since we discovered that through some inexplicable series of events, we’d been separated over four years ago without our consent. And now, as he gazed at me, I knew what my response had to be.
“Okay.”
He led me upstairs. Stopping on the second floor with the other end of Callie’s monitor in his hand, we checked on her, then proceeded upstairs. Placing the monitor on the nightstand beside his massive walnut and wrought iron bed, he returned to me.
“Those are interesting,” I said, staring pointedly at the nude paintings on his walls. These canvases, unlike the ones in the rest of the house, were black and white silhouettes, emphasizing the shape of the women’s hips and breasts.
He quirked up his lips mischievously. “What can I say? I love great art.”
Then, all signs of mischief evaporated from his face as he took my mouth, prying it open with his tongue. The move was sudden and fueled by his eagerness, and any questions I might’ve had about Jax being the same in the bedroom as he used to be were instantly answered.
His kisses were demands, insistent creatures with minds of their own. We were both breathless now, even though we’d shared nothing more than a healthy dose of lip smacking. Jax stopped and released his grip on me, the pulse at his neck visibly throbbing, his breaths as fast and frenzied as mine were.
“I have to ask you a question, even though you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” he juddered out.
“Okay.”
“You said you didn’t sleep with anyone as an escort. Have you slept with anyone while not working as an escort?”
I would’ve expected such a query to plunge over me like a jolt of ice water. A few months or weeks ago, it probably would have. But Jax and I had been getting to know one another again. We’d taken our time to build up our rapport and our trust. So rather than getting irritated at such a presumptuous inquiry, I saw it for what it was. Curiosity.
“No.”
He cast me an astonished look. “Really? No one at all? Is it because of Cassie?”
“Partially. But it’s also about my…preferences.”
He took his index finger and drew it along the column of my throat. “Would those preferences be similar to what they once were?”
“Yes. I find it difficult to be satisfied unless I’m… You know.”
“Acting as a submissive?”
“Exactly. I haven’t been with anyone because of that, and I also find pretty much no gratification in self-pleasure. I guess because of the same reason.”
He smiled, his mouth curling upward and the lines around his eyes relaxing in relief. “Thank Christ. I still need to dominate.” But then his expression fell. He looked…abashed. “I wish I could tell you I haven’t been with anyone, either, but I can’t.”
I tried to say that was okay, but the words stuck in my throat. I didn’t want to think of him that way, doing to other women what he used to do with me. The best I could spit out was, “Oh.”
“I’m sorry. I truly am. If I could go back and redo that portion of my life, I would. The only thing I can promise you is that I always wore protection with those other women, and I’ve been tested so I know I’m clean. Also, what I did with them was hollow. Meaningless. I
t was all surface level with no real substance. Does that help?”
“Maybe. A little.”
“I’ve missed you, Rox. And not only in bed. I missed seeing you, being with you all the time, talking to you. When you left me that note about Callie with your address on it, it reminded me so strongly of how we once were. When I saw it, I was afraid to hope. I didn’t want to get hurt again. But I’d like to think that even if Callie didn’t exist, we’d wind up together because that’s how we’re supposed to be. Me and you. You and me.”
The sincerity of his words swam through me, placing a balm on all the places that still stung from his confession. “I want that to be true.”
“That’s what you’ve always given me. Hope. Until you came back into life, I’d given up on ever finding that again. So, let’s take sex off the table. We don’t have to think about that. I just want to lie next to you. Hold you. Will you allow me to do that?”
I nuzzled against him then, my nose brushing up against his. I knew him admitting such painful truths about our time apart must have been difficult for him, yet he didn’t back away from it. He was brutally honest, and that had to count for something.
“I need to be held by you,” I said, and he nodded, his blue eyes bright and soulful. He slipped off his shoes and commenced unbuttoning his casual button-down, but I then reached out to stop him. “But not yet. First, I need to reacquaint myself with you, to please you, in every way possible.”
He swallowed. “Are you sure?”
“Very,” I promised. His eyes darkened then, the pupils doubling in size. “I do have one request, though, before you take over.”
He closed in on me and took my chin in his hand, tipping up my face so that all I saw was him. “What’s that?”
I pulled away long enough to switch off his bedroom lamp. My body had changed quite a bit since he’d last made love to me. Gained extra weight in places that altered the landscape he’d been used to. I didn’t want him to see those fleshier parts of me. “Deal?”
We were cast into darkness, which meant I couldn’t make out what I was certain would be his flawless physique. Still, this was necessary to my own peace of mind. “We’ll see.” He sounded noncommittal. “Roxy?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
My voice caught. “You do?”
“I never quit. I tried to, I really did, but I couldn’t. Didn’t have it in me, I guess,” he said, his voice so gentle I almost cried. I knew I should say it back. Hearing him say that again after all this time made my heart overflow. But the words wouldn’t come. I sidestepped this by addressing another issue.
“You don’t have to wear a condom, by the way. I got an IUD a few months after Callie was born.”
“I haven’t ever done this bareback before.” Excitement tinged his tone.
“I hear it’s better for men that way.”
“I’m willing to find out. We’ll need to keep this quiet so as not to wake Callie.”
“Agreed.”
“I know we didn’t use a safe word before, but do you want to now?” he asked, his tongue sliding up the side of my neck toward the bottom of my ear.
“You mean like how I’d tell you to stop when we were kids?”
“Something like that.” He reached my earlobe and sucked it into his mouth before going on. “Though a safe word might be better. It’ll keep me from getting too caught up in the moment.”
“What should it be?”
“Something completely unrelated to sex so it can’t be confused with anything we might be doing,” he explained, his tongue climbing up the shell of my ear. “So no ‘naughty’ or ‘ass cheek’ or ‘now’.”
“Okay. I’m assuming ‘baby’ and ‘please’ are out, too.”
“No, those wouldn’t work, either.”
“How about something benign like ‘bubblegum.’”
“‘Bubblegum’ it is, then,” he said, his fingers drifting down to my backside and fondling one of the terms he just said. “You ready?”
I so was. “I’m ready.”
14
Jaxson
I might have seemed confident and self-assured on the outside, but inside I trembled with need. I hadn’t been with anyone sexually since about six months before I returned to New Orleans, which was quite a dry spell for me. So, while I looked forward to what was about to happen with everything in me, it didn’t mean the task wasn’t daunting.
The most crucial element of dominating a submissive involved trust. Roxy had to feel not only that I was in charge, but that she was safe at all times. She needed to know that everything I did was there to serve not only myself and my pleasure, but hers, too. In fact, the key was to make this about her and her pleasure beyond all else.
I just prayed I’d be up to the task.
Not that I had no experience, of course, but this was the woman I loved back in my arms and my bed. I felt this immense pressure to provide her with the support she desired because I knew she wouldn’t be able to have any orgasms unless I could get her there. Whether a product of her absentee dad, her shitty mom or her lack of security in general, I knew Roxy had to be in a certain state of mind and body for this to work.
Which meant getting her into that state was all up to me.
This was the first time in years for her, so even though she’d given me permission to be in control, I didn’t want to scare her or go too far.
She was the mother of my child, and I wanted to treat her with the reverence she deserved.
Since tone of voice signaled the beginning of such a scene, I made sure my next words came out in a lower octave and as a command. “Take off your scarf.”
Roxy had worn a long russet-colored scarf, one that reminded me of the autumn colors now dripping over the tops of the local maples and oaks like splotches of paint. Although she requested that we do this in the dark, the light of a nearby streetlamp came in through the window, casting her in a dim glow. It may not have illuminated her as much as I’d have liked, but it’d do for now.
Unlooping the scarf from around her neck, she did as she was told, holding it in her hands. I noticed that those hands shook but I didn’t mention it. I hoped this was a sign of her anticipation rather than nervousness. I had to appear calm, cool and collected even if I had to fake it till I made it.
“Put the scarf on the bed, then shed the shirt. Slowly.”
She did. I had her continue to undress in much the same manner until she stood before me in perfect bare gloriousness, my erection so hard I could wield it like a goddamn baseball bat. She looked so fucking beautiful. Her body had more curves than her clothing gave away, and I craved to touch every inch of it with both my hands and my tongue.
“Lie down on the bed face up with your head hanging off the bottom.”
As soon as she completed this task, I shed my own clothing and clenched my fists as even more blood abandoned my brain. Seeing her laid out like some virgin on a sacrificial altar made me lightheaded. Taking her scarf, I tied it around her eyes, turning it into a blindfold. Positioning myself over her, I placed the bulbous head of my arousal right next to her mouth.
Dragging it along her lips, I asked her, “Do you want this?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to lick it?”
“Yes, please.”
“Then, you may.”
When her tongue skidded along the tip then back and forth along each side, I did my best not to shudder. Already, my body was aching with the need for release, a clear drop of my yearning leaking out as if to divulge all my secrets.
“Can you taste me?” My voice came out as more guttural than commanding that time, and I took a deep breath to shore up my strength.
“It’s so good,” she whimpered out, her entire body quivering as she lapped it up.
“Suck on it,” I ordered, and the second she did, I had to stifle a gasp. Rather than being gentle with her ministrations, Roxy went to town, sucking on me hard and taking me all the way
in until I hit the back of her throat.
Holy shit! We’d barely gotten started and yet I was already on edge. I pictured unsexy images to allow me to maintain, pushing back the inevitable for a few more crucial minutes. Lying how she was exposed her luscious breasts to me, and as she sucked on me, I leaned over her, taking one dusky nipple into my mouth. Giving her some of her own medicine, I sucked her as wildly as she’d been suckling me, making the buds pebbles.
Up till then, I’d been focused on the novelty of having Roxy again after so long, but now the murkier aspects of my soul rose up inside me, making me take more. I switched breasts, my mouth taking the round flesh in fully, then I drew her in with such powerful suction that I left a speckled red mark behind.
Having it on one breast wasn’t enough, so I did it again on the other, dragging my teeth along her flesh this time. I nipped at her more and more fiercely until eventually Roxy cried out.
I heard the sound, but I was in a haze, and I couldn’t tell whether the noise was a product of pleasure or pain. I shouldn’t have said anything or broken character, but I did. I couldn’t bear to hurt her, not accidentally or in any other fashion. I rose up, going absolutely still.
“Bubblegum?” I asked her.
“Um…”
“Tell me, Roxy. Use the word if you need to. I have to know you’ll stop me if it’s too much.”
“No,” she said, breathing hard. “No, I’m okay. I don’t want to stop. I need this. I need you.”
Without wasting another second, I went right back into gear. Shifting her to the middle of the mattress, I told her, “Assume the position.”
Without hesitating, she twisted her body. Going facedown, she drew her knees up under her chest and lifted that delectable ass of hers until she was on unflinching display. The light coming from behind her gave me a bird’s eye view of her wet core – she’d either shaved or waxed all the hair away – rendering me speechless. Roxy’s center had always been one of my favorite parts of her, and there’d never been a time when I stripped her down that she wasn’t drenched for me.