“That narrows down the possible venues. What do we do at this party?”
Minori-sama cocked her head. “If all we do is serve food, how would it be any different from any of our dinners?”
“Let’s see, parties... Parties usually mean singing and dancing, right? Remember in the story of the Heavenly Cave, how Uzume...?”
Then Minori-sama and Hikaru-sama stared into thin air. After a long moment, once again, they both sighed.
“What?” Her Majesty said. “What is it?”
“Oh, nothing.”
“She, uh... dances. Naked,” Hikaru-sama said.
“Dances naked?” Elvia-san asked.
“Yes. This goddess, Ama-no-Uzume, does a striptease to liven things up. I guess technically she doesn’t end up completely naked, but, well... just about. Everyone laughs because the whole thing is so funny, and the goddess in the cave finally peeks out to see what in the world is going on. Then Ame-no-Tajikarao—uh, this very powerful god, pulls her out of the cave.”
“So what you’re sayin’ is, I just hafta take off my clothes and dance in front of Shinichi-sama’s door, right?”
Elvia-san looked like she was going to set off right then and there, but Minori-sama grabbed her hand and stopped her.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Shinichi-kun is in that room because of the trauma of being beaten to a pulp by you, Myusel, and Her Majesty. I don’t think we can know for sure what effect your striptease would have on him.”
“I don’t know, I think it’d get him out here, if nothing else,” Hikaru-sama smirked.
Elvia-san spent a moment blinking, then finally said, “So, you’re sayin’ you should do the dance, Minori-sama?”
“Why would I do that?!”
“Well, y’ said it can’t be me or Myusel or Her Majesty. So it just has to be someone else, right?”
“I see your logic, but no. Not biting.”
“Minister Cordobal, then?”
Minori-sama’s eyes snapped open. “That’s it!”
“Oh, please,” Hikaru-sama said. “Don’t. Then he would really never come out of his room again. And Minister Cordobal, don’t you look too interested in this.”
“Er... Hm.” Minister Cordobal almost appeared disappointed, I thought. Perhaps it was my imagination.
“The story of the Heavenly Cave is a metaphor, not an instruction manual,” Hikaru-sama said, crossing his arms. “All we really need is something that will pique Shinichi-san’s interest. It doesn’t have to be right in the hallway, and it doesn’t have to be naked.”
“Fair enough,” Minori-sama said. “Okay, ways to attract someone who’s deliberately acting disinterested. Sound. Or maybe... smells?”
Hikaru-sama tilted his head in thought. “But our usual dinner isn’t doing the trick. We need something special, something unmissable...”
“How about something special and fun?” Elvia-san piped up. “Like, you know—that meat we had at Shinichi-sama’s house!”
“Oh, the yakiniku,” Minori-sama said.
“We wish to eat yakiniku again!” Her Majesty chimed in, leaning forward.
Yakiniku: basically a simple meat dish, but unlike the food I make, it isn’t prepared in the kitchen. Rather, it’s cooked on a small grill right at the table. The flavor is provided by a sauce, and perhaps a bit of marinade, but how cooked the meat gets is at the discretion of each person at the table, so it is difficult to produce a consistent flavor. In that way, it could be considered more difficult to cook than the average meat dish. But if you can bring yourself to ignore these little details, then it’s a fun time that gives everyone control over their own food.
“Huh, yeah,” Minori-sama said thoughtfully. “Shinichi-kun’s room has a window—we don’t have to do it in the hallway.”
“Oh ho, so we are indeed going to ‘do’ yakiniku?” Her Majesty asked, eyes shining. She certainly seemed to cherish the memory of having this dish with Shinichi-sama and his family when we had visited Ja-pan. I agreed with her; it was pleasant just to recall that day. Perhaps it would be enough to tempt Shinichi-sama...
“Of course, I guess it won’t exactly be yakiniku,” Minori-sama said with a shrug. Then she raised a finger like a teacher instructing her students. “We have another word for it when everyone eats outside, cooking and having fun.” She grinned. “Barbecue!”
I thought I could hear voices from the front yard. They sounded awfully rowdy, obviously having fun. I had the curtains closed, but the sound still carried to where I was flopped on my bed, reading manga.
The voices were followed by something else: a smell. A good smell.
“That’s...”
By Eldant standards, this house was very solidly built, but the airtightness left something to be desired in comparison with a modern Japanese home. In particular, there was a tendency for smells from outside to get in even when the window was closed.
But this smell...
I sat up in bed. Now I could see there was a notification from the messenger app flashing on my computer monitor. Probably Minori-san again. She should have known by now that I had no intention of leaving this room, no matter how many times she tried to cajole me. Still, I would feel a little bad just ignoring her, so I slid off the bed and headed over to my desk.
I clicked on the icon and saw:
“Barbecue is ON! ☆”
I contemplated the message. I guess Minori-san was outside with the others, having a barbecue. That would explain the pleasant aroma. I didn’t bother sending a response, but Minori-san sent me a picture anyway. She must have snapped it with her smartphone. They had piled up some rocks to make a stand, put a portable grill on top of it, loaded the grill full of ingredients, and were cooking away.
Also in the picture were Myusel, Petralka, Elvia, Garius, and Hikaru-san, all grinning happily as they ate grilled meat and vegetables.
Myusel was diligently arranging the food on the grill.
Petralka was happily watching it cook.
Elvia was chowing down on some meat like it was going out of style.
Garius watched over the three of them from a respectful distance. Beside him, Hikaru-san was enjoying some grilled vegetables with a pair of chopsticks.
I thought about it. It was certainly a classic barbecue scene.
The pictures kept coming, too: Loek and Romilda were there, students from my own school. I assumed Minori-san and Hikaru-san had invited them on the-more-the-merrier logic. Normally the elf and the dwarf spent all their time together fighting, but I guess the barbecue must have gotten the better of them, because they were both enjoying the grilled meat with big smiles on their faces. God, it really was the picture of a backyard barbecue.
Another message came along with the next picture:
“We’re having a blast out here. Wanna join us?”
This picture showed Minori-san herself. She seemed to have wrangled the picture with a selfie stick. When had she gotten one of those?
I paused. On a whim, I went over to the window and peeked out from behind the curtains.
“Huh...”
I saw Myusel and Loek with their hands up for some reason. They seemed to be using some kind of magic. Maybe they were making wind to stoke the fire? No... For one thing, they were both facing my window.
Ahh.
They were using wind magic, but just gently, to make sure the smell of the barbecue wafted into my room. And probably to send the babbling voices along with it. They hoped I would be tempted out of my room by the smell and the spectacle.
“Hoo hoo...” A chuckle dropped from my lips. “Hoo hoo hoo hoo...” This quiet laughter was followed by a declaration: “How naïve! You badly underestimate me, Minori-san!” I pointed at the computer screen so forcefully I could almost hear the sound effect, bishiri! “Sheer impudence, that’s what this is!” My fingers started racing along the keyboard. “A barbecue?!” I howled. “That’s for some damn re
al to attend! And featuring two hot men surrounded by women, no less! I’ll bet the ladies are for dessert (lol)! You know nothing, nothing of the feelings of a shut-in and nasty otaku like me!”
But all I wrote was: “Nope. Not coming.”
And then with a satisfying clack!, I hit the Enter key.
I felt oddly accomplished.
“Haaa ha ha ha! I win!”
Okay, so I still wasn’t sure what I had won. I guess.
I threw myself back on my bed and resumed reading my manga.
“Barbecue” turned out to be just as fun as yakiniku, and the time passed in a flash. Before we knew it, the sky was darkening into evening. All the food we had prepared was gone. Romilda-sama had left for home with a big smile on her face, proclaiming, “I didn’t really get what it was all about, but it sure was fun. Thanks for having me!” (Incidentally, Loek-sama had said he wanted to stay a little longer to chat with Minori-sama, but Romilda-sama grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off.)
In any event, both of them had come right over despite the suddenness of our invitation, and seemed to have enjoyed themselves tremendously. I saw them to the gate, then went back to the yard and helped Minori-sama clean up. We took down the grill, disassembled the pile of rocks we had put together, and poured water on the last of the coals, just to be safe. I piled our eating utensils on my cart so they could be taken inside later.
“I really thought this was a good idea,” Minori-sama lamented as she piled utensils on the cart.
“I enjoyed m’self!” Elvia-san exclaimed.
“As did we,” Her Majesty added. Both were smiling. Maybe they thought they were making Minori-sama feel better.
Hikaru-sama, though, smiled sadly. “It’s great everyone had fun, but that wasn’t the point.”
He was right. As pleasant as the barbecue had been, we had failed in our objective, which was to get Shinichi-sama to come out of his room. Minori-sama had tried talking to him via her ‘meszenjer,’ and Loek-sama and I had used wind magic to direct the aroma of the food towards his room, but in the end we never saw hide nor hair of Shinichi-sama. He didn’t even open the curtains on his window.
“So that’s a fail for Operation Heavenly Cave,” Hikaru-sama said. “What do we do next?”
Minori-sama crossed her arms and gazed up at Shinichi-sama’s window. “I didn’t expect Shinichi-kun to be such a fearsome opponent.”
“Is he fearsome, or just stubborn?”
“I’ve got to be honest... I really don’t know what to do next.”
“Perhaps we should try that naked dance?” Hikaru-san offered.
“Yeah, I’ll pass,” Minori-sama said.
“Pardon me very much.” Their conversation was interrupted by an unexpected speaker: Minister Cordobal. “I’m afraid we cannot stay here with you indefinitely. Her Majesty and I must return to the castle for the time being.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Minori-sama said, bowing. But Minister Cordobal shook his head with a wry smile.
“Not at all. Personally, I very much wish we could continue to enjoy your hospitality, but—”
“We do not wish to return home yet,” Her Majesty said, puffing her cheeks out slightly. “Until Shinichi comes out of his room...”
“Majesty, you forget the trouble that must be addressed at the castle,” Minister Cordobal said, letting a stern note enter his voice. Her Majesty seemed to be perfectly well aware of this “trouble,” because she stuck out her lip petulantly, but didn’t object further.
It was Hikaru-sama who asked curiously, “What kind of trouble?”
Minister Cordobal’s handsome face softened a little; then, sounding as if he might let out a sigh at any moment, he said: “There is an epidemic at the castle.”
“An epidemic, sir?”
“Several of those who serve at the castle have been felled by it. This sickness has no precedent that we know of, and the medicaments of our physicians show no effect on it. We’re at a loss how to deal with it. It doesn’t kill quickly, but produces a high fever. It could be quite dangerous for children and the elderly, those without much physical stamina.”
“My goodness...” Minori-sama said. It seemed this was quite a problem in the castle town. “I’m sorry, we didn’t know. We didn’t mean to call you away at a time like that.”
“Think nothing of it,” Her Majesty replied. “Once we have ascertained the situation and given orders to deal with it, we will come again. In the meantime, we entrust Shinichi to your care.” Then she and Minister Cordobal boarded a carriage waiting just outside the gate of the mansion along with a contingent of royal guards, and they all left for the castle.
We were surrounded by enemies.
There was no way out.
We stood with our backs to each other and got ready to fight.
We were facing down several Sabre Beasts, creatures like a wolf but black as night, with eyes the color of blood. They stared us down, then opened their huge, fanged jaws and attacked.
I brought up my halberd and stabbed at one of the monsters.
Critical hit!
The creature expired with only a short yelp. They were unnatural things, man-made, and when they died they didn’t leave behind so much as a skeleton. I made sure the Sabre Beast was completely gone, then turned to the next enemy.
Or at least, I had planned to. But the next instant, the Sabre Beast came back to life.
No, that wasn’t quite it—no sooner had I killed the last one than another came up to take its place, attacking me when my attention lapsed.
I tried to counterattack, but it was too late.
I’m done for...!
Even as the thought crossed my mind, though, the new Sabre Beast died, too, the victim of a massive metal hammer that came swinging in from the side.
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Thanks, GalGaiGar. You saved my neck.”
I said gratefully. The wielder of the giant hammer was one of my party members, GalGaiGar. She was a diminutive girl; the hammer she carried was taller than she was and much, much heavier, and could dish out one-hit-kill attacks.
GalGaiGar, though, didn’t answer me. She just silently went about smashing more monsters.
Behind her, the martial artist Yakiniku and the swordsman Kyouya were putting on a great show. Kyouya would get a foe’s attention with a quick feint, then when he had them right where he wanted them, he would strike one swift, fatal blow. He’d be turning to the next enemy almost before I had time to be impressed, but Yakiniku launched a ball of chi over his shoulder, blowing the monster away before Kyouya even got to it.
Miyuu: “Setsuna-sama, let me heal you.”
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Thanks.”
Behind us, we diligently kept our monk-healer, Miyuu, safe. In return, she kept us in good health. My HP had dropped to almost half, but in a flash I got it all back.
If we could just get through these Sabre Beasts, we’d be almost at the boss. But every enemy we had to defeat sapped our strength.
†Obsidian Fallen Angel†: “I’m ready, everyone.”
We had another protector with us, the wizard †Obsidian Fallen Angel†. We’d been warned: we scrambled to get out of the area of effect of her immensely powerful spell.
†Obsidian Fallen Angel†: “Eternal Force Blizzard!”
She invoked the forbidden ice magic, the most powerful of its kind. It was almost unstoppable, and there were few who could use it. Our foes were suddenly encased in ice. They died instantly.
........................
So, basically, the Sabre Beasts surrounding us were wiped out in one fell swoop. Man, Eternal Force Blizzard was something else. The kanji name of the spell alone was enough to be intimidating.
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Yes! Great work, that was a team victory. Thanks everyone.”
Miyuu: “We really did it, Shinichi-sama.”
The instant those words appeared on the display, I groaned.
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Buzz! Myusel!”
I could practically hear the rush of apology in the words. I looked at the screen, sighed, then grabbed the drink sitting next to my computer and took a swig. Then I went back to typing:
Gen’ei Setsuna: “No OOC talk allowed! That’s the rule in online games!”
†Obsidian Fallen Angel†: “Whatever, Shinichi-san. I know these games are about escapism, but seriously—Gen’ei Setsuna? I’ve known actual middle schoolers who didn’t have chuunibyou so bad, haha.”
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Last thing I wanna hear from a guy who looks like his idea of a wizard came from the doodles he did during math class ten years ago, Hikaru-san. †Obsidian Fallen Angel†, lolololol”
†Obsidian Fallen Angel†: “Sure you want to go down that road? Pretty sure I have the better name here.”
Kyouya: “All right, both of you, that’s enough. There is to be no arguing online.”
GalGaiGar: “We are a great brave! A king among braves!”
Gen’ei Setsuna: “Oops, that’s enough of that, GalGaiGar.”
Come to think of it, I’d lent Petralka a few DVDs last month when she’d asked me for some new recommendations. I guess she had really gotten into them, which was nice.
Yakiniku: “meat! like!”
Miyuu: “i wanted to have a japanese name. i asked minorisama for help.”
Kyouya: “This is actually the name I use when I’m doing cosplay.”
Oh yeah, Minori-san always cosplayed as a guy, didn’t she? Hence the male avatar, I guessed.
Gen’ei Setsuna: “OK, enough irl stuff! Everybody stay in character!”
We were playing the very first online game—the very first MMORPG—in the entire Eldant Empire.
I was on day fourteen of my new life as a shut-in. Minori-san messaged me every day, pretty frequently at that, and I chatted with her a little. But once everyone got the idea that I was open to “conversations” as long as they were via text, they all started pinging me.
Outbreak Company: Volume 14 Page 3