by Kate Martin
He took one hand from my arm and wrapped it around mine on his face, closing his eyes. “I didn’t want you to see all this.”
I started to tell him that I had seen worse; that this was nothing compared to the cariosus, the attacks on my friends, and the killing I had done, but thought better of it. I didn’t want to worry him, and besides, even all those burning bodies, and hearts ripped from chests, were not as bad as seeing my Rhys as sick as he clearly was.
“I’m tougher than you give me credit for.”
He pressed a kiss to the palm of my hand, then gently started to push my arms back through the bars. “You’re too close to the gold.”
The last thing I wanted was to lose the feel of his flesh against mine, but I only had the heart to argue with him so much. Clinging to the memory of his lips against my hand, I did as he asked.
“Just—don’t leave my sight.”
He nodded, his head bobbing tiredly.
The ache of not touching him when he stood there, so close, was more terrible than I had anticipated. I leaned up against the door, pressing my face close to the bars, so as to be as close to him as possible. “I hate this.”
“So do I,” he said.
“No one tells me much, but we’ll have you out of here soon. I’m sure of it.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“How could you say that?”
He smiled, but it was sad and empty. Hopeless. “They tell me more than they tell you. That much hasn’t changed. No one can find anything. There’s no evidence to suggest I didn’t kill Lydia.”
“There’s no evidence to suggest that you did either.”
“I have no memory of that time. Julius and the others can’t account for my whereabouts. I was crazy with grief . . .”
“Do you think you actually did it?”
He shrugged, the action clearly painful.
“Don’t you ever think that! Do you hear me? I don’t ever want to hear that you said something like that ever again. You did not kill that woman.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Loving me doesn’t make me innocent.”
“Stop it, Rhys. Stop it right now.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think since I came here.”
“Stop. I’m not listening to you anymore. You’re sick, and hurt, and not thinking straight. I forgive you. But we are going to prove you are innocent, and we’re going to get you out of here. And as soon as that happens, you and I are living happily-ever-after. Do you understand me?”
“It will be all I think about.”
“Okay then.” I hated the door between us. I wanted Rhys in my arms, home, safe. He looked so weak, so unlike the Rhys who had forced me into learning to be a vampire, who had taught me to control things like hearing and my hunger. He looked like he could barely stand. I had a feeling my presence was the only thing keeping him on his feet. Every few seconds, his balance wavered.
“So, other than the obvious,” I said, “are you okay? I mean . . . you’re eating and all that, right?”
“What they give me, yes.”
“What do they give you?”
“Blood.”
His evasion was not lost on me, but I didn’t have the heart to push him. I filed the question away for Cade later. “They treat you okay?”
“I would rather talk about your life.”
“Okay,” I agreed readily, willing to give him anything. “What do you want to know?”
“You’re spending a lot of time with Cade.”
“Yes, well, he seems to be the optimal choice. Aurelia still freaks me out with all the mind stuff, and Millie is always with Brody, though I’ve been helping her with research as well.”
“What has Cade been teaching you?”
Dammit. I had thought my subtle change of subject had worked. “Like he said, he’s teaching me what I need to know to stay safe. Don’t worry about it. He hasn’t turned me into any kind of weird vampire super soldier or anything like that.”
“He had better not.”
“It’s Survival 101, nothing more, I promise.” If his interpretation of ‘survival’ didn’t add up to knowing how to tear carious and other things limb from limb all the better. I searched my mind desperately for another topic before he pressed for more information. “My Grandmother’s company party is in three days.”
“I remember. I’m sorry I can’t go with you.”
Shit. Not my intention. “It’s okay. It will be torturous anyway. You won’t be missing anything. I don’t even want to go. I keep hoping the General will declare some state of emergency that prevents me from leaving the house.”
“No, you should go. Your grandmother is important to you and she won’t be around forever.”
“Yeah . . . Cade said pretty much the same thing. But what am I going to do about that guy she wants me to meet?”
“I suppose you’ll have to meet him.”
“But what if he tries to ask me out on a date or something?”
“Tell him you have a boyfriend.”
“I consider you more than that. Closer to a fiancé, perhaps. After all, I can very clearly remember you asking me to marry you on two different occasions.”
“Something your grandmother does not know.”
“Maybe I’ll tell her. Maybe she’ll be so angry she’ll tell me not to come.”
“Go to the party, Kassandra.”
I’d go, but only because that gaudy ballroom would feel like a prison, and therefore make me feel closer to Rhys. Not that I would tell him that. “Just exploring my options.”
He didn’t say anything else. In our silence, I could hear the taunts and jeers the other prisoners still flung at Cade. Most were about me. And Rhys. I hoped they didn’t continue after I left. If they tormented Rhys because of my visit, I would never forgive myself.
I slipped my hand back through the bars, careful not to go so far that Rhys would fear the gold touching my skin. He wove his fingers together with mine instantly. For a moment, I thought I could close my eyes and almost believe we were back home.
I lost track of time then, but when Cade cleared his throat later I got the impression that hours had passed. I had a vague memory of carrying on some inane conversation with Rhys, but couldn’t remember what we had said to each other. It didn’t really matter.
“Cade thinks you should leave.”
I refocused my eyes and watched Rhys’s lips form the words I didn’t want to hear. He looked dead on his feet. Very dead. If ever someone had looked like a living corpse, Rhys did at that moment. I could feel the strain in his body through his hand. Standing for this long had taken everything out of him. I glanced behind him, searching for the bed that would give him comfort once I left—and saw nothing but stone and gold.
My heart broke.
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“I’ll be all right.”
I didn’t want to point out all the things he didn’t have. He certainly didn’t need me to remind him of what he already knew, of what he lived every day. “Can you promise me something?”
“I’ll promise you anything.”
“Make sure you take care of yourself. Sleep. Eat. Sleep. Please sleep. You look about to fall over. I need to know you’re doing at least that much for yourself.”
“Your wish is my command.”
Oh, how I wished it was. Then he would really have to listen to me. Though forcing an order on him like that would have left open the possibility for my wishes to cause him pain. I couldn’t live with that. I just nodded instead of saying anything more on that point. “I’m going to get you out of here.”
“Don’t do anything reckless. Julius and the others, they know what they are doing.”
“It’s been weeks and they have nothing. Maybe I can think of something they haven’t.”
He didn’t look convinced.
“I have one more promise I want you to make.”
“I al
ready told you, anything.”
“Stop thinking you’re guilty. You’re not.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am right. I love you,” I added before he could continue the argument.
“I love you,” he said, lips brushing against my fingers. “I am sorry for putting you through all this.”
“Rhys, please. This isn’t your fault.”
“I finally manage to keep you alive and this happens. Though I suppose if my incarceration is the price for your life, your safety, then I am content with the exchange.”
“Stop that. It doesn’t work that way.”
“In every other life it has been you who suffered. This is fitting. This is nothing compared to what you have gone through for trying to be with me.”
“Rhys O’Shea, I will not trade my suffering for yours. This is a mistake and it will be sorted out. You and I are going to spend eternity together even if we have to walk through hell to do it, do you understand me?”
He lifted his head from our joined hands to look at me, his eyes tired, sad, and full of nothing but that love for me that had tortured him for centuries. I almost hated myself for it. “Aurelia was right.”
“Right about what?”
“Bryn never would have made a suitable vampire; she was too kind, too soft. Eva was better off, but her manners had never really been able to completely temper her strong will. Death would have given her a freedom she didn’t have in life, and she would have taken advantage of it. But you, you were meant to have this life. You are strong, and you think about your actions, you question our habits and our world. You can survive this.”
“Thank you, I think. So, if all that is true, then you need to trust me. You need to stop saying you deserve this, or you belong here. You do not.”
“There are many religions that believe in karma and curses, of things from the past coming to haunt the present.”
“This is not your punishment for loving me. Cut it out. Cade is going to make me leave and I refuse to leave this place with our last words being about this nonsense.”
He sighed, then kissed my hand. “Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Thank you for coming. Cade and Julius were right to ignore what I had said. I love you.”
Worry fell over me like an oversized blanket—one made of the most uncomfortable wool. “I love you too,” I said, unsure about everything suddenly.
“I’d like to speak with Cade once more before you leave, if that’s all right.”
“Sure.” I stretched my fingers to touch his cheek when he kissed my hand once more. We stared at each other for a moment that dragged out for an eternity that frightened me. A million things were written on his face, but I didn’t point them out. First and foremost, he looked exhausted.
My whole body aching to do more than just touch him with fingertips, I took a deep breath and turned to Cade, signaling that he could come over. With each slow step he took towards us, I sensed my own unavoidable departure closing in.
I didn’t think I would ever be able to tear myself away from Rhys, but somehow I did. He spoke with Cade only briefly, and all too soon I was ushered away, back down the uneven steps in the dark. Only the thought of Rhys finally having the chance to sit and rest made my feet continue moving forward. He would never have given into the exhaustion I had seen had I stayed.
Following Cade closely so as not to get lost, either lagging behind or falling down one of the many holes in the stairs, I tried to sort out my own thoughts so I wouldn’t run back to the ninth floor and remain there with Rhys until his release. The physical pain of no longer seeing him, touching him, was far worse now than anything I had experienced over the past weeks. Almost as if I had forgotten the details of him, but now had been reminded of all I had been without. My heart ached to beat again, straining in my chest though I knew it would have no relief. Not any time soon. But at least he was whole. That had been what I wanted to see; Rhys, whole, alive, safe—relatively. I hoped the sight of him would keep the nightmares at bay, even for a little while. Yet, now I had a new worry. One that ate at me like frost covering the winter ground.
And then, just like that, I was angry.
“I want to see Tabitha.”
Cade came to an abrupt stop and I almost stumbled into his back. “What?”
Straightening up, I prepared myself to be just as stubborn as he could be. “You heard me. I want to see her. I want to look into her eyes and show her that she has not broken me, or him. I want to know what she has to say for herself.”
For a moment, I thought Cade would argue with me. I quickly came up with dozens of reasons why he was wrong and I was right. Then he spoke, and I knew something had changed over the last weeks. The way he saw me had changed. “She will try to manipulate you.”
“I know. I won’t let her.”
“She is older than you, she has had more time to practice spinning clever lies. They will sound like the truth.”
“Either way, she could say something that helps us. If I can respond in ways she doesn’t expect, maybe she’ll slip up.”
The staircase split into three different directions just ahead of us. Cade had been heading towards the path farthest left, but now he gestured towards the middle. “This way then. If you’re sure.”
“I am positive.”
He headed down that middle stairway. “No more than ten minutes.”
“Agreed.” Any longer and I might try to kill her. I did that now. Tabitha probably wasn’t betting on a visit from Kassandra who knew how to fight back.
We walked, twisting up and down, turning what I was sure were circles and jumping more gaping holes. By the time Cade opened another door, I had no idea what floor to expect. We could have been below ground, or at the very top of the towers. When the door opened, and sunlight streamed in across the floor, my questions were answered.
This time, the inmates didn’t sound so sure of themselves or playful. They moaned, breathed, and demanded to be fed.
Cade ushered me forward, once again going further into the hall of cells. Tabitha was at the very end, her cell lined in gold as Rhys’s had been, but flooded with sunlight from the multiple small windows that lined the ceiling. The door was metal, as Rhys’s had been, but the barred window was far larger, allowing me to easily peer within—to see Tabitha, lying on her back in the middle of the floor, one knee crooked up, looking perfectly at ease.
She breathed deep. “Ah. Now there’s a scent I’ll never forget.”
I moved to stand right at the door, giving myself the best view available. “You wanted to see me?”
“I did.” Sitting up, she stretched like a lazy cat, and when her gaze met mine, she smiled. “Though I must say, you took longer than I expected. Not in a hurry to visit your beloved? Perhaps your love is not so strong after all, and after so many tragic years.”
“If you don’t have anything to say that’s worth my time, I’ll be going.” I stepped away, just far enough that I would be gone from her sight.
As expected, she didn’t let me get far. “Oh, I have plenty to say that’ll be worth your time.”
Returning to the window, I gave her my very best impression of Cade’s impassive and unreadable expression. “Then get talking.”
“Tsk tsk. Not that easy, princess.” She ran a hand through her long black hair as if she were bored. “For your ears only. No executioners allowed.”
“What makes you think you call the shots?”
“I do call the shots. Have been since the beginning. You want to know what I have to say, you’ll play by my rules.”
Not very smart to remind me that she had been the one to land Rhys here. I looked at Cade, wondering what he thought of the offer. Once again he surprised me. “Remember what we talked about. I’ll be in the hall, and I’ll be back in for you in five minutes.”
Such trust. I wasn’t sure what I had done to earn it, but I was grateful all the same.
Once the door shut, and Tabitha and I
were alone—so to speak—I gave her my full attention. “Five minutes, Tabby. Better get talking.”
She stood, graceful and lithe, same as she had always been. No sign of sickness or fatigue from the gold and sunlight. My fangs responded to my anger. Why did she fare so much better than Rhys? “How badly do you want your boyfriend out of here?”
“If you’re going to ask nothing but stupid questions, we’re done.”
“I hear he’s quite worn down by the whole experience. Poor thing. But we could change that. Together.”
“How’s that?”
“Do something for me, and I’ll do something for you.”
“Not a chance.”
“Really? It’s not what you think, I assure you. It’s not even for me, personally. I’m simply the messenger.”
“Seems like you’re always the messenger. Might be time to consider a new career path.”
“We can get Rhys out. We can clear his name. All we need is a favor in return.”
“You put him here. This is extortion.”
“This is life.” She leaned up against the door, hands wrapped around the barred window, face pressed close. “Everything in our world is tit for tat. Everything has a price. You’ll soon find that out.”
“I can get Rhys out of her on my own.”
Tabitha laughed. “Oh, Kassandra. So naive. He’s stuck here until we say otherwise.”
“What makes you think I would ever help you?”
“Rhys. You wouldn’t leave him here. Not like this. Weak and hardly able to stand. Things will only get worse for him. Everyone is so curious. They want to know what makes him tick, what sets him apart. You know what happens when humans search for those kinds of answers. Vampires are no different. They’ll use him like a rat in a lab. Why did it take you so long to come here? Did they tell you it was a bed and breakfast? That Rhys was safe? How many lies have they told you? How much have they kept from you?”
I wanted to grab one of her hands and twist until it snapped against the steel door. But I had a feeling that sort of thing wasn’t allowed. “You’re not going to get to me. Have you said everything you wanted to say?”