by Kate Martin
He turned my blade so the gold brushed my cheek.
Oh, god, how I wanted to scream. Pain blinded me, and sent my brain into a white nothingness. My blood boiled, and my skin burned hot from anger and injury. Sensations were all I registered. Heat. Anger. Desperation. Pain. All I heard were screams of agony. A few of them sounded like me.
When my vision returned, I was no longer pressed against the cold metal stall. The spray of the shower cascaded over me, dripping into my eyes and sticking my hair to my face, cooling the burn along my cheek. My knees ached against the tile, and my throat had gone raw. I kept my gaze trained on the floor, counting the tiny squares while I waited for my breathing to slow and return to normal. I couldn’t just stop, my nerves were too shot. My hands were shaking. My dagger lay on the floor beside me, rinsed clean of any blood by the shower. I sat back on my heels and pushed my hair off my face with trembling hands.
As soon as I touched my face I froze. Afraid to look, but unable to stop myself, I drew my hands out where I could see them clearly.
They were red with blood, and something thick and solid was caked under my fingernails. Slowly, I turned my head, following the stream of blood on its way to the drain until I saw feet, legs, a torso . . . and a gaping hole where the vampire’s heart should have been.
The organ in question lay on the floor only a foot away from me.
My breathing stopped.
Footsteps clacked against the tile, taking only five steps to reach my range of vision. I had been laid out enough times that I knew Cade’s legs without seeing his face.
“How long have you been here?” My voice sounded small, fragile.
“Long enough.”
“Why didn’t you help?”
“You had things well under control on your own.”
I tore my eyes away from the destruction I had wrought so I could look Cade in the eyes. “I think I was anything but under control.”
“If I had stepped in and done the killing for you you’d never have known what you are capable of on your own. You can take care of yourself, Kassandra. You are no longer a liability.”
I wanted to be sick. I wanted to turn over and vomit until every bit of vampire in me could be rinsed down the drain. But that would never happen. “I don’t like it.”
“He would have killed you. You protected yourself. There is nothing wrong with that.”
“If you say so.”
“You have other things to deal with now.”
“Like getting rid of the body?” Sarcasm couldn’t save me, but it helped.
“I will take care of that. You have something more important.”
I couldn’t fathom what he meant, until he pointed behind me, and I remembered my entire reason for coming inside the building in the first place.
Sara.
She had seen everything. Worse than the night I had torn apart half-decayed failed vampires. She had seen me tear the heart out of a man’s chest. If our friendship had any hope of repair, it had just been broken beyond recognition. I was sure of it.
Cade gathered up the body and took it away, but I didn’t watch. I stared at Sara, at a loss for words, having no clue what could make this better. She stared back, her wet blonde hair sticking out in all directions, her face paler than I had ever seen it. At the base of her neck, two small puncture wounds bled.
Still shaking, I grabbed the edge of the stall and pulled myself to my feet. I staggered across the room, took an unreasonable amount of paper towels from the dispenser by the sink, then returned to the shower, shutting off the water and half falling back into a sitting position across from Sara. I held the towels out to her. “You’re bleeding.”
She took them, keeping the bulk of them out of the water, and pressed a single towel to her wounds. “So are you,” she said.
Her words surprised me. I didn’t feel injured. But as soon as that thought passed whatever level of shock had come over me and blocked my pain retreated. The burn on my cheek flared up again, bringing tears to my eyes. I lifted my hand to touch it gingerly and encountered blood. The cut wasn’t deep, and nothing compared to the burn. “It will stop. Soon.”
Sara pulled the towel away from her own neck, took one look at the blood collecting there and put it back, pressing harder. Her blood smelled just as good as she did; better even. Thank god I was sick enough not to care.
“I’m not going to . . .” she struggled with the words. “Will I change now?”
“No. It doesn’t work like that. A bite won’t turn you.”
She visibly relaxed, sinking back against the wall of the shower. We were both silent for a long time. I was just about to drag myself off the floor and leave when she finally spoke.
“Did that really just happen?”
“Yes.”
“You ripped his heart out.”
“I did it to save you.”
“You’re scary as all Hell, Kass.”
I hung my head. “I know.” I scared me too.
Silence returned. I scrubbed my hands against each other, trying desperately to use what water remained around to rid my fingers of the blood and flesh stuck to them. I didn’t look up to see, but I imagined Sara watching, hating me and what I had become, despite the fact that I had only done it to save her life.
“What am I supposed to do now?”
“What do you mean?” I mumbled, sure she was about to get over her shock and turn on me.
“Well, I was just attacked by a vampire. In the middle of the day. It seems like something I should report.”
I snapped my head up. “You can’t. You can’t tell anyone. You promised.”
“No, I promised not to tell anyone that you are a vampire. That’s all.”
“It can’t be known we can go around in the sunlight. It can’t. If you tell—I don’t know what will happen, but it won’t be good. The vampires are really, really powerful, and very involved in all sorts of things.”
“People think they’re safe!”
“Let them! They are safe. For the most part. We’ve been doing a good job of keeping things in order. We’re not in the middle of a full-on war yet.”
“A war?”
“Yes.”
“War. Great. We’re all going to be eaten alive. And you want me not to warn people?”
“No one is going to be eaten alive. Well, not any more than they were before. But the point is, not all vampires do that. I told you as much. I’m not like that. Rhys isn’t like that.”
“Rhys? He’s one too, huh? I should have known. You being like this is all his fault isn’t it?”
“It’s not his fault.”
“So he didn’t make you a vampire?”
“Well, he did, but—”
“That sounds like his fault to me.”
“It wasn’t his choice. It was—Never mind.”
“If I had a stake I would kill him for taking my best friend from me. Or will that not work? Is staking wrong too?”
The thought of Sara wanting someone dead nearly killed me. The thought of Rhys being dead didn’t help. “Don’t ever wish him dead. Please. And he didn’t steal your best friend. We could still be best friends if you would let me explain. And I could really use my best friend right now.”
My face was wet again, and this time it wasn’t the shower. I wiped at my eyes with my sleeves, doing my best not to cry. It wasn’t much use. Everything had gone wrong. I was undead, Rhys was gone, I kept having to kill monsters—to be a monster—Millie was hurt . . . and on top of all that, Sara hated me. Sara, the one person I had left who I should have been able to turn to for anything.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through. You can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to wake up one day and no longer be human. You don’t know what it’s like to crave blood and not be able to do anything about it. Every day I have to give into a thirst I wish I didn’t have. Every day I have to drink from a living human being. I have fangs, and scars from people trying to kill me. Rhys has bee
n arrested on false charges, so now I don’t even have him to turn to. I have no one. Not even you, because you’ve decided to hate me despite the fact that I’ve saved your life twice now.”
Silence again. Then nothing for the longest time but my sobs and Sara’s breathing. I wanted to die. Or at least have the earth finally open up and swallow me whole, but that was a wish that had gone many times unfulfilled.
“ . . . I don’t hate you.”
I was hearing things. Great. Auditory hallucinations to top off everything else.
“Kass, did you hear me? I don’t hate you.”
I lifted my head to look at her, catching the very last movement of her lips. Not a hallucination. She had really spoken to me. “You don’t?”
“No. I thought I did, but I don’t. I can’t. The only thing I hate is what’s been done to you. But, you can’t really blame me for the way I reacted, right? Everything’s so weird and messed up, the last thing I suspected was that you were a part of it.”
“You really don’t hate me?” It was everything I wanted, and yet, I hesitated to believe it.
“You’re not going to eat me, right?”
“No. No, never.”
“And everything you’ve told me is the truth? Some of the vampires aren’t so bad?”
“Your chances are about the same as with every human being on the planet.”
“And you’re not warping my brain into thinking things that aren’t true?”
A short, choked laugh escaped my throat. “Definitely not. It’s a huge headache to do, trust me.”
“Then, no, I don’t hate you. You’re still you. I see that now.”
Relief washed over me so strongly that it banished the rest of the shock, and the after affects of my sense of doom. Funny, I’d just committed the most monstrous act of my second life, and that convinced her I, in fact, wasn’t a monster. I launched myself at her, remembering at the last second to be careful as I threw my arms around her, pressed my face into her shoulder, and cried.
Once we had both cried ourselves out for a multitude of reasons, we sat together on the wet shower floor, completely alone. And I told her everything.
I told her about the night they had come to my home, taken my father, and turned me. I told her about waking up thirsty for blood, and how I’d fought Rhys for days before actually feeding for the first time. I explained the strength, the speed, the super-senses and how each of them had to be learned. I gave her quick summaries on each of my new family members, leaving out personal details. Then I told her everything about Rhys and me; our past lives, our current life, and how he had been arrested for a crime I was sure he didn’t commit. The only things I left out were details like our aversion to gold, and the few ways we could be truly killed.
When I had finished, I felt lighter. Like telling her had abolished the stress that came with all the bad luck and secret keeping. And I knew without her saying a thing, that she still didn’t hate me.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I asked after a comfortable silence had passed between us, after all my divulging had sunk in.
“Swimming. What else would I be doing?”
“But you don’t swim. Not for fun.”
“Well, I thought maybe I’d start. I’m rethinking that now.”
We laughed awkwardly, as though we could forget what had happened less than an hour ago. But forgetting would never happen. I could smell Cade waiting for me just outside the door. My time was up.
I wiped my face one last time and lifted my head from its place on Sara’s shoulder. “I have to go.”
“Do you?”
“Yes. I can probably see you home though. That should be okay.”
Sara smiled nervously. Her heartbeat sped up. “I have to admit, I think that would make me feel better.”
“I’ll clear it with Cade.” Standing, I offered her my hand and helped her up. “I guess you’ll want to get dressed.”
“My clothes aren’t going to hide these bite marks.”
“I’ll buy you a scarf.”
Clearly agreeing with my offer, Sara stepped out of the shower and grabbed her clothes off a nearby bench.
Looking at her wounds made me worry again. I couldn’t protect her every day. “Hey, Sara?”
“Yeah?” She turned, pulling her shirt over her head and looking me straight in the eyes.
The connection was easy to make. Her mind opened to me as if she had invited me in. But even as the steady hum passed over my ears, the guilt of invasion set in. “You should wear gold more often. Every day would be good. Along with your silver.”
“Sure. That sounds like a good idea.” She said it like I had suggested going to the movies and pulled on her jeans.
I broke the connection and told myself that I had done the right thing. I couldn’t stay with her every minute of every day, but I could protect her without her knowing about the protection. If she had gold around her neck, no vampire would bite.
Cade waited at the end of the street after I walked Sara home. He fell into step with me when I reached him, not making me stop. Perfect, because I didn’t want to stop.
“The vampire knew me,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“He knew me. He attacked Sara because of me.” Simply remembering his words made me shake with rage. “When he took my dagger, he said no one had told him I had such pretty toys. He called me princess. Killing Sara was supposed to be a ‘present.’”
Cade looked at me as we walked, his expression non-judgmental, but clearly unhappy. “He told you all this?”
“Well, I think he thought he was going to kill me at the time.”
“I will look into it.”
“He said some things about me and Rhys, too. About me not having much time, and seeing Rhys one last time.”
“He was undoubtedly VFO. Anything he said was most likely meant to frighten you.”
“Yeah, well . . . he did a good job.” Those words had pushed me over the edge, enabled me to reach into his chest and tear out his heart. Safe to say his plan had backfired. “I, uh, I charmed Sara,” I said, feeling like I needed to confess. “I wanted her to wear gold, but I knew I couldn’t tell her why.” I’d given into the dark side.
“That was a wise decision.”
“It doesn’t feel like one.”
“You have protected her. You have not harmed her. Doing nothing would have been worse.”
“I told her lots of things though.” The words spilled out of my mouth like a confession. “I told her about how it happened, how I got like this. I told her about you and everyone else. I–” I stopped. I had told Sara what I was after the first incident, making her a liability for some time now. And yet, no one had undone my mistake. They could have made her forget she had ever seen me tear apart the cariosus. They could have told her anything to replace me in her memory. But they hadn’t.
“Why didn’t anyone charm Sara after the first attack? When she saw me and figured out what I am. And why not now? Doesn’t she know too much? You could charm it all away.”
“Yes, we could.”
“But you’re not going to?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because Rhys asked us not to, asked us to trust your judgment. You seem confident Sara will not betray us to the populous, so for the time being, we will trust you. Besides, Rhys argued that you would not be fond of the idea of us wiping the mind of your best friend.”
How incredibly true. I didn’t like that I had just planted a simple life-saving idea in her head. “Thank you. I appreciate it. I know I haven’t exactly done much to earn that level of trust. I’m too young.”
“It was Rhys we trusted on the matter.”
Wow. Shot down with a kill shot to the heart. Jeeze. “Thanks, Cade. That’s sweet.”
“You will earn our trust. In time. You are off to a good start.”
“I feel so much better now.”
We walked at a human pace, which I didn�
��t mind since I was really in no hurry to get home. After all, it wasn’t like Rhys would be there waiting.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Change of Plans
I remembered now.
Funny, how a bit of gold against the face could make someone black out, tear out a heart, and forget a crucial piece of information. I now knew what Tabitha had been talking about when she’d said there would be an offer. A map. They wanted a map. A freaking map? That’s all they wanted in return for Rhys’s safety. Seemed fishy to me.
I flipped over onto my stomach on my bed, staring my stuffed dragon in the face. “What do you think?” I asked him. Silence. As expected. “I agree,” I told him. With a groan, I buried my face in my unmade covers. Yesterday, the VFO had tried to kill Sara, and at the same time they had finally told me what they wanted. Of course, I wasn’t supposed to be there—not sure what they though a dead best friend was going to gain them. My fear? More likely my eternal hatred. Which they already had.
A map.
What the hell did that mean?
Annoyed with my own thoughts, I got up and went downstairs. Maybe someone else had some good news.
Gianna passed me on the stairs. “Hello, Kassandra.”
“Hey, Gia. You going somewhere?” She seemed in a hurry, which was unusual for her.
“Oh, yes.” Lingering for a moment, she tucked a bit of hair behind her ear that had come loose from her bun. “It seems Julius has decided to call the Council together. I’ll be going with him this time.”
“For how long?”
“Long enough that he’s chosen not to leave me behind. I really must go. I need to pack.”
“Sure. Is he in the study?” I called after her as she started to move again.
“Yes. With Aurelia.”
My favorite. I went anyway. A Council meeting could only possibly mean there was news. Right? The door to the study was ajar, so I knocked lightly as I opened it and stepped inside. The General and Aurelia were bent over the desk, heads close and voices low. Whatever they were talking about they had been so ensnared that they hadn’t noticed me coming. Both looked up as I entered, surprised to see me.