“You ran outside to warn me. Wearing a light sweater, thin leggings, no coat or hat.” He smiled. “Those thoughts must have been urgent to go running out in a blizzard dressed, or not dressed like that.”
“I yelled for you.”
“Yeah, after you fell and buried yourself in the snowbank,” he laughed.
“I take it I looked ridiculous.” I grinned.
“Not to me, but to anyone else watching. . . Yeah, you looked a bit ridiculous.” He grinned.
“Where did Easton go?” I asked.
“I didn’t see him. I was just out shoveling the path he started.”
“I saw him.”
“Where?”
“At the edge of the woods. He was walking on the path towards you when I ran outside.”
“Hmmm,” he said. “That’s weird. I never saw him. And the wind is blowing so hard, it would be hard to hear if anyone were yelling my name. I only heard you because you were screaming like a madwoman. I thought something was wrong.”
“Something was wrong. He was walking down the path with a shovel.”
“Well, it is winter, and people use shovels in winter.”
“He had the shovel in one hand,” I continued. “His other hand, he kept in his pocket. It was just creepy. Very weird.”
“Well, tell you what. You just stay here and keep warm, and I will head on out and see what he’s up to.”
“Can’t you just stay here?”
“No. Not if he was walking out in the blizzard with a shovel. I mean, that’s alarming,” he ridiculed.
“Quit it,” I laughed at him. “You know what I mean.”
He grinned. “Yes. I know what you mean. I need to go back out and get your shovel, anyway. Don’t need it getting buried in these drifts. We lose that, and you won’t have a shovel until spring at the earliest.”
I watched him put his boots and jacket back on and head outside through the front door. After waiting a few minutes, I stood from the couch, grabbed my laptop, and went upstairs to my bedroom. I grabbed a charcoal-gray hoodie from my closet and put it on over my black sweater. Sitting on my bed, I opened my laptop and logged on. Margo was probably wondering where I’d been since I hadn’t logged on for a few days. Since moving up here, I’d always touched base with her at special times. It was a safety factor we had discussed, and I felt much better having various forms of safety.
I sighed when the internet wouldn’t connect. So instead, I opted to write a few paragraphs for the book and when the battery light fluttered, I knew it was time to close it down or plug the charging cable in and keep writing. I headed downstairs to the couch to grab the cord from the wall when Brooks trudged back in the house. He slammed the door behind him and murmured something under his breath as he rushed upstairs. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice me in the room.
A few minutes later, I heard the shower start, and I wandered over to the front door, locked it, and headed upstairs to Brooks.
“Knock-knock,” I announced as I tapped on the bathroom door.
“I just need a moment,” he responded.
“Mmmkay,” I said as I closed the door and walked back into my bedroom. I set my laptop on the nightstand near the window and plugged it in. I left the screen on so when the internet connected, I’d be able to reach Margo.
I jumped when a door slammed. Stunned, I stood there in silence. My thoughts had drowned out the sound of the water being turned off. Brooks stomped across the loft towards my bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
We stood there staring at each other; me—confused, Brooks with a heated expression on his face. He blocked the door and continued glaring at me.
Chapter Eleven
“When are you going to tell me the truth?” he spat as he pierced through me with the glare of daggers.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You know goddamn well what I’m talking about. Or is this all part of your plan?” he questioned.
“Brooks,” I began as I stood straighter. “You need to tell me what you’re talking about. I’m confused.”
“Yeah?” he taunted. “I was confused, but I figured it all out.”
“Figured what out?”
He took a few steps closer to me as I backed up towards the window and the corner of the room.
“You. Him.”
“Him? Who?” I glared back at him.
“I’m not stupid. I know, Erika.” He took more steps towards me as I leaned myself up against the window.
“Brooks, you need to stop.”
“It took me until now to see everything. I interrupted what you two had going on. Or what was just beginning?”
I shook my head.
“Lie to me all you want, Erika, but he told me the truth.”
“He told you nothing because there is nothing going on between us!” I shot back. “You can’t trap me into saying something that isn’t true, Brooks. Listen to yourself. And where is this all coming from?” I was glad I set my laptop up the way I did. Margo could log in and be able to see and hear what was going on. Inside my mind, I begged for the internet to connect. I also knew I needed to have a plan. I’d never felt in fear of my life until right now.
“I wanted to hear it from you, but since he told me everything, and you refuse to admit to the truth...”
“Then what?” I shouted. “What, Brooks? There’s nothing going on. You can think that all you want, but you’re only hurting yourself because it’s not true. How can you not see that? How can you not see that?”
He stared at me.
“Brooks, I can’t do this anymore. You...”
“I what?” he shot back at me. “I what, Erika? I came here to see you one last time. I thought it would be good to get closure on us. That’s what I came up here for. You left, and we never had the chance to end things between us.”
“Fine! Ended! Are you happy?” Tears streamed down my face. I wasn’t happy. The man I loved so hard in the past stood here in front of me, only it wasn’t him. This wasn’t him, and I couldn’t figure out what had happened or where things went wrong. Hell, I was driving myself insane trying to figure out if it was something I was doing.
“No! I’m not happy! I only wanted you, Erika. For so long, I only wanted you and... and...” He paused. “I just don’t even know how to get past this. It’s like I’m breaking all over again. Like I’m reliving all the pain in the past. The feelings of breaking up... Do you even know how much this hurts? How much pain this is? Getting over you?”
He stepped closer to me. “I can’t get over you. I’ve tried. I’ve tried. Oh my God, I’ve tried. But you’re everywhere. I can’t even listen to the radio because the damn lyrics bring you to life and thrust me back into what we used to be. I can’t even stay in our hometown because of all the places that remind me of you—of us. I can’t even go to the damn grocery store because I still remember seeing you walking down the aisles. They’ve remodeled the place since then, but the memories, they don’t go away.”
I watched him get angrier as he raised his voice. I knew what I had to do and prayed I had the strength to get through this night.
“We’ve never had closure, and you know not having closure hurts a hell of a lot worse than saying goodbye. You could’ve just said goodbye to me back then, and maybe I wouldn’t have had to wonder all these years. But that’s not what happened.”
He was now a foot away and angry. I tried my best to keep calm and control my breathing. There was so much I wanted to yell back. But I had to stop myself. I had to put more energy into controlling this situation.
“Right?” he continued. “It’s not what happened.”
I cried, not because I wanted to, but because I needed him to see and feel something other than anger. I couldn’t run to the door and to safety right now. That wasn’t an option. I had to play this game, and I wished to God things could have been different. I cried harder because I loved him. And I didn’t want to leave him
, but I knew I would. This would be our last moment together.
“I just can’t do this, Brooks. I love you so much. Why? Why would I want a thing to do with the neighbor? You know me, Brooks. You know he’s not my type. You know my type. You know more about me than anyone.” Honestly, that wasn’t even a lie. He knew me better than anyone. Even though it had been years since we last talked or saw each other, we spent enough time together that he knew me.
He stared at me.
“You know me more than anyone. Nothing has changed. In all these years, I haven’t changed. I’ve grown, but you know there are parts of me I can’t change.”
I could tell he was hearing me when his expression changed.
“Please don’t leave me like this, please,” I begged him. “Don’t say goodbye like this. I lost you all these years, and it sucked. It was horrible, and I can’t go back to that. Now that you’re here, I can’t be without you again. How do I make you see that? How can I show you I want you? Forever.”
He nodded his head and just stared at me as I cried.
“Please, Brooks,” I begged him through my cries. “I can’t go through losing you again.”
He stepped forward and rested his hands on my shoulders, then pulled me close to him, holding me tight. I was still on edge but gave into his embrace and wrapped my arms around him.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
What I needed to do to protect myself raced through my mind. I planned escape routes in my mind many nights as I lay here alone in bed. I just never thought I’d ever have to act them out. I tried to think of the best escape route.
“I just feel like I’m losing you. Maybe it’s just the thought of thinking of you with someone other than me that’s driving me over the edge. The stress is almost too much to bear. Seeing you again has put the fear of you leaving me right in the front and center. I just don’t know how to get past that. I’m scared it will come true.”
“I don’t want to leave you, Brooks. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to say goodbye to you, ever. We’re perfect together, and I know we can have the future we’ve always talked about.”
“Even after I’ve pissed you off and... well, everything I did this weekend?”
I laughed, hoping to ease the tension. “Brooks, there’s nothing you could ever do that would make me love you any less. Nothing. Well, maybe if you did something illegal, but you’re the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. You.” I lifted my head from his chest, and he leaned down to kiss me. “You and Jaden and I can...”
He let go of me and walked towards the door before walking back and pacing the floor. “We won’t be able to have a life with the three of us. She...”
“I don’t care about her!” I interrupted him. “Brooks, I don’t care about her one bit. You have to understand she means nothing to me, and I won’t let her ruin...”
“She’s ruined it all!” he shouted as he walked out of my bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
I stood in shock, then ran to the window, flipped on the exterior red flood-light, and closed the curtains. I was thankful to the neighbor who had thought of these safety lights. Every switch turned on all the exterior safety lights on my entire property. It calmed me some knowing help would arrive as soon as someone spotted the lights on. Although with all the neighbors gone, I had only Easton and the other neighbor to rely on. I prayed Easton was looking out at my cabin. I didn’t care if he had ill intentions, I just needed someone else here with me—someone to help me get out of here.
Chapter Twelve
The feelings hit after two hours in the bedroom with Brooks. I knew in my mind that this would be the last time I’d ever see him again. And it hurt like hell, so I cried. He thought it was because I missed him and looking forward to all the years we’d be sharing.
It was the same secret—the silence. And again, only I knew what would happen. I felt horrible. I hated myself for everything.
I had to put my thoughts in their place and make myself understand that what was happening wasn’t my fault. Brooks was different. I wanted to believe he was the same man I fell in love with years ago, but he wasn’t that man.
His arms wrapped around me in bed and the way he held me close to him—his scent, his smile, laughter—I tried like hell to stay strong enough and not get pulled back in.
All the while we made love, I listened for Easton or someone to ring the bell or pound on the door. The red lights had been on for over two hours, and no one had noticed. No one had come to my rescue yet. It was like a pit in my stomach when I had to come to the grim reality I was on my own.
I was a nervous wreck and tried my best to hide the feelings. The dark evenings made it easier to hide my face, because had Brooks been able to see my expressions, I may not have been so lucky this time.
“I missed this,” he whispered as he pulled me close to him and kissed me on the neck. “I missed this...”
I smiled even though I knew he couldn’t see. I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 7:23. “We should make some dinner. I’m kinda starving,” I lied to him. I wasn’t starving at all. In fact, I wasn’t even hungry. I was putting the first step of my escape plan into play.
“I could go for some dinner,” he replied. “What do you have in mind?”
“I have some chicken. No. Wait. The chicken is still frozen. Don’t have time for that,” I laughed.
“Agreed,” he said.
“Wraps? How does that sound? I think I have some turkey thawed in the fridge and some bacon. Turkey bacon wraps. Those are easy.” I shrugged, hoping he’d agree with me so we could leave the guest room.
“Let’s do it.”
I could hear him smile through his response, and I felt the guilt wash over me as we got out of bed and put on our clothes. We walked downstairs, and I tried to glance at Easton’s cabin to see if he was even home. Although I didn’t want to draw attention to it, I casually walked towards the patio door and pulled the placemats from the small cabinet I kept near the corner of the kitchen.
Brooks noticed but didn’t appear to connect the pieces as I set each placemat on the island. I then grabbed some plates and silverware while he grabbed the food from the fridge and set it out.
“Don’t forget the ranch dressing,” I laughed at him.
“Ranch,” he repeated as he opened the fridge back up to grab the bottle. “Anything else I’m missing?”
I glanced at the counter. “Turkey, cheese, bacon, lettuce, ranch. Nope. Looks good.”
“Wraps. Where do you keep those?”
“Oh yeah,” I laughed. “The most important part of the entire meal. I keep them in the drawer with the bread. Which is the third drawer right over there.” I pointed towards the cabinet by the fridge.
He grabbed the wraps as I opened the turkey and cut it into slices. I set the turkey on a plate and put it in the microwave while he filled two glasses with ice water.
There wasn’t much conversation going on, and even I felt awkward, but Brooks didn’t seem to notice. At one point, he had walked towards the front door and locked it. He set his truck keys on the entry table and set his boots away from the door and onto the nearby mat.
I held my breath as the microwave beeped. I knew this was step two of my plan, and I was getting more nervous the closer I was to escaping.
I opened the microwave and took the plate out. I specifically picked these plates because I knew how hot they got in the microwave. Yes, I was willing to burn myself to save my life if I had to. I reached for the plate and yelled as I dropped it on the island and used my hand to swipe the two glasses of ice water onto the floor at the same time.
Both glasses shattered, and Brooks rushed over. “Erika! Oh God! You okay?” He sounded concerned as he rubbed my hand and walked with me to the sink to run it under the water.
“I forgot how hot those plates get,” I whined. “Did the plate break?”
“The plate looks fine. It’s the glasses.”
>
I turned off the water, grabbed the towel to dry my hands, and walked into the closet to grab the broom and dustpan.
“I can get this,” Brooks said as he walked towards me.
I laughed, hoping to keep his guard down. “I made the mess, I’ll clean it. Looks like I’ll have to get one more set of glasses. I only bought four cause it was just me. Now I’m down to two.” I shrugged. “Oh well, I also have Dixie cups as a last resort over there where I keep the placemats. We could always use those.”
“Might be safer when you cook,” he laughed as he put a wrap on each of our plates and added the meat.
I swept the glass and left it on the dustpan inside the closet, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “At least it smells good.”
“It smells so good. Kind of like you just made it. Juicy, too. Sometimes it gets so dried out, but this stuff still looks juicy.”
“Good,” I said. “I could go for a nice-tasting wrap.”
I moved my boots from the closet and set them on the first step that led to the basement. Then I closed the closet door, walked over, and took a seat next to Brooks to finish making my wrap.
Brooks had already poured two more glasses of ice water and took his first bite as I wrapped mine.
“Mmmm,” he said. “Even your leftover turkey tastes delicious.”
I smiled at him as I struggled to eat. The nervous feeling made me want to vomit. I begged God to help me hold myself together. I couldn’t get sick right now. That wasn’t part of my escape plan. In fact, it would ruin my entire plan. I was close. So close to making a run for it. I just had to time it right.
I knew going forward, I needed to have an emergency kit. Even though I had a few security measures in place, a safety bag or kit would alleviate some of this stress. It was so dark out, how would I see where I was going? I wouldn’t have time to grab my hat and gloves. I’d have to make do without them. As long as Brooks didn’t notice my boots on the basement steps, I’d at least have something on my feet. I couldn’t imagine having to run out there with nothing on my feet.
The Stranger In the Guest Room Page 6