by Elle Kennedy
Instead, she’d fought back wave after wave of desire until the ache had become unbearable. She thought about the way they’d played around in the water, the oddly gentle firmness of his touch when he’d grabbed her shoulders and dunked her in the waves. So many times she’d had to bite her lip to stop herself from begging him to kiss her.
Kiss him! When she should want him gone.
Her plan had seemed so simple, so easy to orchestrate. At least it seemed that way yesterday. Today she was a bundle of nerves, uneasy with the realization that scaring Luke off wouldn’t be as simple as she’d thought. Doing it required control, and whenever Luke was around, all her self-control flew out the window.
Which provoked her to do stupid things. Like conjure up pretend dates. But really, how could she have survived another dinner with Luke? After the way her entire body throbbed at his mere proximity, seeing him again tonight hadn’t been an option.
“Viv,” she muttered, suddenly making a beeline for the telephone.
Of course. If anyone could find her a man in less than three hours, it was Vivian.
Ellie dialed her boss’s number and waited for Vivian’s cheerful, “Hello?”
“Viv, it’s me. I need your help.” Her voice came out in a hurried rush.
“Ellie, I’m afraid I’m a little busy right now. The pool guy’s here, trying to fix the filter. We think something’s jamming it.”
She paused. “The pool guy? How old is he?”
“I don’t know. Twenty-seven, twenty-eight. Why?”
She took a breath. “Do you think he’ll go out with me tonight?”
There was silence on the other end. Ellie could picture Vivian’s perplexed expression, and if she weren’t so desperate right now she might have laughed out loud. Trying to arrange a date with Viv’s pool boy was probably the most absurd thing she’d ever done.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Vivian finally asked. “What did you—”
Before Vivian could finish, the entire story spilled out of Ellie’s mouth, starting with her swim with Luke and ending with the childish lie she’d told him.
“All right, honey.” Vivian gave an audible sigh. “Let me talk to Miguel. Hold on.”
Holding the phone to her ear, Ellie paced the room.
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. Pick your order,” Vivian said a few moments later.
“Good news first.”
“Miguel agreed to take you out tonight.”
Relief flooded her chest. “And the bad news?”
“He’s gay.”
Hysterical laughter bubbled in her throat but she swallowed it back. Great, the only available bachelor she had, and he didn’t like women. How would this ever work?
“But,” Vivian added quickly, “he’s very good at pretending he’s straight. He should be a convincing date.”
“Knowing Luke, he’ll be at the next table, watching over us like a hawk. Miguel had better be convincing.” Oh, God, she was in way over her head.
“Is this a bad time to reaffirm my notion that you’re playing with fire?”
Ellie groaned. “Is there ever a good time to make me feel like an idiot?”
Vivian was laughing when she hung up the phone. If she had to pick one thing she loved about having Ellie living here in town—and there were many—it was that she made life exciting again. Not that Vivian was a believer of any of those silly sayings—Life ends when you hit forty being one, and her favorite, Have a kid and kiss your life goodbye.
A load of bull, of course. Some of her best memories were from recent years, and she certainly didn’t regret having Tanya. Her daughter was the most important person in her life and always would be. Yet, since Tanya had moved off on her own, Vivian was having trouble adjusting. She’d been a mother for so long, now that her baby didn’t need her anymore she didn’t know what to do with herself. She’d worked as a medical receptionist in San Francisco, not because she had an all-consuming love for the job, but to put food on the table and pay for Tanya’s college tuition. With Tanya out of the house and on her own, Vivian had quit the job and decided to really think about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.
Moving to San Valdez hadn’t even occurred to her until she ran into an old friend who happened to be the owner of the Dancehall. The man was eager to sell the club and the need to do something new prompted her to buy it from him. The move had also allowed her to get away from the newest complication in her life. Maybe it was taking the coward’s way out, but hell, she deserved at least one act of cowardice in her life. She could’ve copped out years ago, when her parents had urged her to have an abortion once they found out she was pregnant. Instead, she’d ignored their advice, became a twenty-year-old single mother and worked her ass off to make ends meet. She hadn’t taken the coward route then, but she sure as hell was entitled now.
“All fixed.” Miguel’s cheerful voice broke through her thoughts and brought on another chuckle.
Ellie would have a blast with him. Miguel had been working as her pool boy for two years and something about his slightly feminine Spanish accent and mischievous brown eyes sparked a deep fondness in Vivian. He really was a decent boy. She just hoped Luke Russell wouldn’t eat him alive.
“Thanks, Miguel. I’ll have a check for you next time you come by.” She rose from the pool chaise she’d been lounging on and walked Miguel to the back gate. “Take care of my girl tonight, will you?”
He shot her a big smile. “I’ll do my best. You know, this is the first date I’ve had in ten years.”
She raised a brow, not quite believing him. “Really?”
His smile widened. “With a woman, of course.”
Opening the door for him, she fought back another wave of laughter. Damn, maybe she ought to go into work tonight, if only to see the fireworks sure to explode.
After Miguel left, Vivian crossed the yard and climbed up the large cedar deck. She collected the sarong and magazine she’d left on the table, and then headed inside the house. Since her entire body was covered with tanning oil, she decided to take a shower before she settled down on the couch with a good book. She allowed herself one day a week to unwind and relax, and no matter how tempted she was to go to the club and take a front row seat to Ellie’s date, she concluded it wasn’t worth giving up her downtime.
“Poor Luke,” she muttered to herself. The guy was barking orders at the wrong girl.
She reached for the strings holding her bikini top together and tugged on them. The top slid off, causing her breasts to drop a little, which in turn caused her to stifle a sigh. Ah, she longed for the days when her breasts had been so firm and perky she didn’t even need to wear a bra. Or when those irritating stretch marks that had plagued her skin since giving birth had yet to exist. Oh well, she knew she still looked good. Slim waist, firm ass, wrinkle-free face. Sure, there were minor imperfections like the sagging breasts and stretch marks, but she could overlook those. With her non-existent sex life, it was doubtful anyone would see them anyway.
She took two steps toward the washroom when a loud knock rapped against the front door. Now who the hell was that? She paused for a moment, and then realized it was probably Ellie. No doubt a basket case over her date tonight.
Grinning to herself, Vivian walked to the door, having no qualms about covering her chest with one hand and throwing open the door with the other.
She regretted it instantly.
“Hi, Viv.” His voice was deeper than she remembered. But still sexy. He was still sexy.
“Josh,” she squeaked. She cringed. “What are you doing here?”
She lifted her other hand to her chest, feeling exposed and vulnerable as she stood there. Topless. A rush of heat coursed through her when his blue-eyed gaze swept over her upper body. A muscle twitched in his jaw but he remained expressionless save for the quick spark of suspicion in his eyes. “Am I interrupting something?” he asked coolly.
“What?” She caught the implication and fo
und herself stuttering. “No, uh, of course not. I was about to hop in the shower.”
His suspicion gave way to relief. “Oh.” He hesitated. “Can I come in?”
She had no idea what to say. The word no bit at her tongue but she also wasn’t thrilled about standing half-naked in front of her open door for the entire town to see. Finally she just nodded, wordlessly gesturing for him to come inside.
She closed the door behind them and turned slowly, looking at him. God, he was gorgeous. His dark hair was shorter now, almost a buzz cut, but it suited him, and the white button-down shirt he wore emphasized his broad chest and trim waist. He’d grown a slight beard too. The last time she’d seen him he’d been smooth and clean-shaven. Now dark stubble dotted his face, making him appear far older than he was.
But she knew better. He was young. Much too young. Fourteen years younger than her, to be exact.
“You look amazing, Viv.” His voice jarred her from her scrutiny, but he didn’t seem to mind that she was checking him out. He was doing the same, actually. Sweeping his gaze up and down her body before meeting her eyes.
Her reaction to his appreciative examination unnerved her. Her nipples hardened against the hands covering them and she found herself growing wet as she stood there, looking into the eyes of the man she’d almost slept with.
“Thanks,” she managed before taking a few jerky steps backwards. “I… Let me just put some clothes on.”
Her legs felt shaky as she made for the bedroom, but she forced herself to appear calm. Josh couldn’t know how much his nearness affected her.
In her room, she pulled random items of clothing out of the closet. Threw on a pair of jeans over her bikini bottoms and a black tank top over her bare breasts. Damn it, this was wrong. She shouldn’t be attracted to this man. He was Ellie’s brother. He was more than a decade younger than she was. He was…sinfully sexy.
Somehow during his sister’s engagement party Vivian had wound up in his arms. Afterwards she’d decided it had just been the champagne. Oh, and the fact that she’d been celibate for three years at that point in time. She’d latched onto the first warm-bodied male and it hadn’t mattered who said male happened to be. At least that’s what she’d always told herself.
Now? Well, now she was rethinking her rationalization. One look at Josh Dawson and she was ready to go to bed with him. She wasn’t drunk and she wasn’t all that horny, so that meant…
She didn’t even want to consider what that meant.
It took a few deep meditative breaths before she was ready to leave the room. When she did, she found Josh sitting on her couch, his hands clasped loosely over his lap. He glanced up when she entered, again eyeing her with that intense gaze she suspected was his trademark.
“So what brings you to town?” she asked, trying to sound cheerful. Before he could reply, she answered her own question. “Ellie, of course.”
When he nodded she was troubled by the pang of disappointment that hit her. It shouldn’t bother her that he hadn’t come to see her.
But it did.
“I want her to come home,” Josh said in a firm tone.
Vivian sank into the armchair farthest from the leather sofa, hoping the distance between them would slow her racing pulse. “Isn’t that why you sent Luke Russell?”
“I’m not sure he’ll have any luck.” Josh’s features creased with frustration. “We both know how stubborn my sister can be.”
She found herself grinning. “I would think you would’ve learned your lesson by now. You can’t make Ellie do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
“No kidding.” He looked rueful now as he met her eyes. “I need your help, Viv.”
“Me?” she echoed in surprise. Her surprise quickly transformed into suspicion, which made itself known in the form of a sharp frown. “I’m not getting involved, Josh. No way will I join forces with you to control your sister. I happen to care about Ellie.”
“And I don’t?”
He raked his fingers through his dark hair and Vivian’s fingers tingled in response. She still remembered how silky those short strands had felt between her fingers, when her arms had been twined around his neck and her hands tangled in his hair. She forced the memory away and tried to focus on the topic at hand. A difficult task when he sat just a few feet away from her.
“I love Ellie to death,” he continued, sounding gruff and far too sweet for Vivian’s comfort. “But she doesn’t belong here. We both know that.”
“She’s a grown woman. She makes her own decisions.”
“She should be at home. Dancing ballet again, dating again.”
Vivian sighed. “You don’t have a say in it. Ellie is the one to decide whether she dates, or whether she dances ballet again.”
Anger flashed across his handsome face. “I see. So you think it’s perfectly okay for my baby sister to be dancing in your strip club.”
“My club is not—”
He cut her off, his voice sharp and furious. “How could you do that to her? Why the hell did you give her that job?”
“Because she asked me.” Her own voice was quiet.
“You should’ve said no. Damn it, Viv! You had no right bringing Ellie down here. No right messing with her ballet career. No goddamned right screwing with her feelings, no, telling her how she’s supposed to feel and—” He stopped abruptly, his lips tightening.
The silence that followed was deafening. It lasted just long enough for a river of guilt to flow down her chest and into her belly, where it swirled around like a violent eddy. They weren’t talking about Ellie anymore, that much was blatantly obvious. What confused her was the look in his eyes. Anguished. Frustrated. Hurt.
Had she hurt him by leaving? She still felt bad about blowing him off the way she had. Not taking his phone calls, leaving town without letting him know. Not that she’d moved because of Josh. The thought of owning a nightclub had been genuinely exciting; the fact that it required her to leave San Francisco had just been an added bonus.
Josh Dawson was an attractive, charming, virile young man. He didn’t need to be saddled with a forty-four-year-old single mom who’d probably be hitting menopause any year now. That’s why she’d swiftly extinguished the flame that was determined to keep smoldering between them. She wouldn’t have been able to live with herself if she’d deprived him of what he really needed—a serious committed relationship with a woman his own age.
But with his pain-tinged words still hanging in the air and that wounded flicker still awash in his eyes, she wondered if maybe she’d made a mistake.
“I never told you how to feel,” she murmured, feeling like a teenager again as she avoided his gaze.
“Fine, I’ll rephrase. You never gave me the chance to feel.” An unmistakable splash of bitterness lined his voice.
“We both know that kiss was a mistake.” She squared her shoulders, stood up and turned away from him. She couldn’t look at him. Not unless she wanted him to see the truth in her eyes, which clearly conveyed the lack of conviction in her words. Kissing Josh hadn’t been a mistake, not when it felt so right. The mistake would be letting that one kiss become something more.
“You’re lying.” She nearly jumped when she felt him come up behind her, his rough beard scratching the shell of her ear and tickling her skin. His voice lowered to a smoky pitch as he added, “That kiss was the best thing that ever happened to both of us.”
She swallowed hard, gathered every ounce of self-control she possessed, then turned and took a few steps back. The passion glittering in Josh’s eyes was enough to make her legs tremble. Enough to make her giddy with desire. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him he was right. Instead, she did the only thing she thought might put an end to this. Whatever this was. She changed the subject.
“What do you plan on doing about Ellie?”
She didn’t need to be a brain surgeon to know he was disappointed. He obviously wanted to finish what he’d started, but to her relief he let it
go. Oh, he’d bring it up again, that she knew, but for now he’d granted her a much-needed reprieve.
“I’m not sure yet,” he replied, a distant look crossing his face. “But I don’t want her or Luke to know I’m in town just yet. Which is why I came here.”
Uneasiness crept up her throat. “What do you mean?”
“I need a place to stay.” He must have caught her startled reaction because he quickly continued. “There’s only one motel in this town and Luke checked into it. The next hotel is an hour’s drive from here, so I figured I can best lay low if I stay with you.”
Stay with her? And turn her home into a modern-day Garden of Eden, complete with temptation and forbidden fruit?
Oh God.
“What about Ellie?” she pointed out quickly, ignoring her pounding heart. “You think she won’t know if you’re in town?”
“She won’t if you don’t tell her.”
Wonderful. Now he was not only asking to stay in her house, but he wanted her to lie to the girl who had become her best friend.
“What if she stops by for a surprise visit?”
“We both know Ellie doesn’t own a car. And I doubt she’d be up to the walk, she lives across town. Chances are, she’ll call you to pick her up if she wants to come over.”
“She could take a cab.” She was grasping at straws but the idea of Josh here, in her personal space, was far too daunting.
“Look, I know it might be an inconvenience but I really have no other options.” He shrugged. “I need to keep an eye on my sister.”
She managed to speak despite the lump lodged in her throat. “Josh…”
“Come on, Viv.” He shot her a grin that was both charming and full of way too much sinful promise. “Do me this favor?”
She swallowed again. No, she gulped. Really hard. And then she wondered, how bad could it really be, letting him stay here? How bad? her conscience taunted. Do you even have to think about it?
She held back a sigh. Oh hell, letting Josh stay here would be disastrous and every part of her knew it. Her brain. Her body. Her heart.