by Dena Blake
She spun around, and Grace ran into her. “You just what, Grace?” Dex hauled her into her arms. “Is this what you want from me? To know that I imagine it’s me holding your hand, kissing you senseless, and making you squirm until you come every night?” They were so close, Dex could feel Grace’s rapid breath on her lips. “Do you imagine that with me?”
She took her face in her hands and pressed her lips to Grace’s, expecting the fireworks she’d imagined for all those years to explode inside her. But there were none. The face that flashed in her mind at that moment wasn’t Grace’s. It was Emma’s. I’m in love with Emma. She closed her eyes as the warmth rushed over her. Yes, she was absolutely, wholly in love with Emma. “Oh my God. I’ve made a horrible mistake.”
Grace stood there looking dazed before she backed up and rolled her lips in. “I’m so sorry, Dex. I know I messed up. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She raked her hand through her hair. “Strike that, I do know. I was jealous. I should’ve been happy you’ve found someone who can love you in the ways I can’t. I am honestly happy for you, but sad because I want to be part of your happiness and I’m not.”
“I have to go.” Dex spun around to leave.
Grace caught her by the arm, and Dex swung back to her. “Let me fix this. I really do want you to be happy.”
“No. You stay away from Emma. You’ll fuck it up. You can’t help yourself. Go back inside to your husband.” She jerked out of her grasp.
“But—”
“I mean it, Grace. Stop fucking with me and let me be happy.” Emma had been right about Grace all along. She hoped she hadn’t blown any chance she’d had at being with her. She had to find a way back into her heart.
* * *
Grace could feel Brent standing right behind her now. “What the fuck was that?” His voice echoed in the garage.
“It was nothing.” That was a lie. It was a huge something, just not what Brent thought it was.
“She just fucking kissed you.”
Her stomach churned. “It meant nothing, Brent. I swear. She just needed to know.” Grace needed to know too.
“To know what?”
“That she loves Emma.” And she doesn’t love me anymore. Grace felt like the tiniest person on the smallest planet circling the earth right now. She’d made a mess of Dex’s life for her own selfish reasons.
“She had to kiss you to figure that out?”
“God, Brent. Sometimes you are so dense.” She hurried past him into the house. “Dex has been in love with me since we were in seventh grade.”
He rushed inside after her. “Are you in love with her too?”
Grace tried to hold her tears, but they sprang out like a leaky soaker hose.
“Oh my God.” Brent raked a hand across his neck. “If she’s who you want, you need to tell me right now.”
Grace’s mind swam as she threw herself into him and pressed her face to his chest. No, no, no. She is not at all who I want. She sucked in a deep breath as the tears streamed down her face. “I don’t want her. I want you.”
He took her by the shoulders and created some distance between them. “Anyone looking at this picture would never get that.”
“Brent, please. She’s my best friend. That’s all. I’ve never wanted anyone but you.” She didn’t know how to explain the conflicting emotions inside her head or her heart. That’s all Dex had ever been to her, but they were connected in a way she was with no other.
“Then why are you trying to keep them apart? Emma told me you and she had words before she broke up with Dex.”
“I don’t know why.” She shrugged. “I thought I was trying to make sure she didn’t get hurt.”
“But now they’ve both been hurt. You’re fucking with people’s lives here. Don’t you want Dex to be happy?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then fix this clusterfuck you’ve created and let them be happy.”
“Okay, okay. I will.” She sobbed. “What did Emma tell you?”
“She said you were a bitch, as usual.”
“You think I’m a bitch?”
“You know I don’t think you’re a bitch.”
“Do I? We’ve been disagreeing on so many things lately.”
“Is that why you’ve been clinging to Dex?”
She nodded. “I needed some emotional support.” She paced the floor. “I’m certainly not getting any from you. Ever since you moved in here, you started making rules without even discussing anything with me.”
“What are you talking about, Grace?”
“The money. The food. Everything. I should have a say in this relationship too.”
“You do.”
“No. I don’t. We used to talk. You actually used to listen to me, and you cared about what I had to say. You don’t do that anymore. What happened? Did I do something to change that?”
Brent seemed stunned. “I wasn’t trying to do that. I just want us to be smart about money. You know, for when we start a family.”
“A family?” Grace hadn’t thought that far ahead and wasn’t sure she even wanted kids. With a series of nannies and parents that were rarely present in her life, her own childhood had been sketchy at best.
“Yeah. I know we haven’t really talked about it, but I think you’ll be a great mom.”
“You do?”
“Yes.” He hauled her into his arms. “You’ve been taking great care of me for the past couple of months.”
She chuckled against his chest. “You are a big child, aren’t you?”
He squeezed her tighter. “I’m sorry, Grace. I’ll try to be a better husband.”
Just those words made everything in Grace’s life seem better. She’d been able to say what she needed to Brent, and he hadn’t left. He was still right here holding her in his arms. Her future seemed clearer now.
* * *
It was clear now that what Dex thought she’d wanted for most of her life wasn’t what she really wanted at all. In just a matter of weeks, Emma had captured her heart, and she’d been too stupid to realize it until now. Until Grace had tried to blow it all to smithereens.
Her phone rang, and she jabbed at the button on the steering wheel to bring the call through the car stereo. “Emma?”
“No, it’s me, John. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all morning. Your voice mail’s full.”
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“We need more lights at the Lancaster place. Can you bring some?”
“How many are you short?”
“About ten strings.”
She glanced over her shoulder and took a rough count of what she had loaded in the back seat of her SUV. “I think I’ve got enough with me. I’ll be there in about ten minutes.” She pushed the End button on her steering wheel and then picked up her phone to check her messages. There was only one message she hadn’t listened to. It was from Grace, and she’d left it a few days ago. Dex wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it after what had just happened. But she needed to clear it and free up her mailbox in case customers tried to call. It couldn’t have been that important, or Grace would’ve mentioned it. She’d been with her all day yesterday.
She touched the voice mail button on her phone, and it played automatically through the car speakers.
“You are really fucked up. Why don’t I just go find Brent and tell him just how close the two of you are?”
When Emma’s voice came through the speaker, Dex picked up the phone and checked the screen to confirm the call had been from Grace.
“No. I don’t love her like that. We were involved once, but that was over a long time ago.”
That was Grace. What the hell? We were never involved, not ever in any kind of sexual way. If they had been, she wouldn’t be in the state she was in today.
“So you just flash those tail feathers of yours in front of her whenever you need to feel good about yourself.”
Emma was pissed and going hot at her.
“She’ll neve
r love you like she loves me.”
Grace’s voice became faint, and Dex upped the volume.
“You need to either accept that or get out of her life.” She heard a door slam and then Grace’s voice again. “Crazy bitch.”
She pulled to the side of the road and listened to it again. Grace had been the reason Emma had broken it off with her. She’d lied and made Emma think they’d been together and something was possibly still going on between them. She sat staring out the windshield letting the information sink in.
It didn’t make sense. Grace was her best friend, and she’d never once led her to believe there could be more between them. Why would she tell Emma there was now? She’d had something real with Emma, and for some selfish reason, Grace had destroyed it. Just one more reason she had to distance herself from Grace whether she got Emma back or not.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
When Emma pushed the door open to Brent’s office, she found him standing staring out the window. That was odd. He wasn’t really the contemplative type. He looked deflated somehow, slumped, shoulders hunched, head hanging low. As she crossed the room, she glanced at the picture lying flat in the middle of his desk as though he’d been studying it.
She picked it up and examined the photo of him and Grace standing on the white, sandy beach in front of clear, blue water. It was from their honeymoon in Greece. Grace seemed to be the center of everyone’s misery at the moment. Emma set it upright in the spot where it usually stood and strolled over to stand next to Brent at the window.
Brent broke the silence immediately. “I never get tired of looking at this city.”
“It is beautiful.” He was sad about something. He’d tell her if he wanted her to know.
“I’m sorry, Em. I’ve been a shitty husband.”
She sliced him a sideways glance. “Aren’t you talking to the wrong woman?”
He shifted one foot forward as though he were smashing a bug and then slipped his hands into his pants pockets. “If I’d been paying more attention to Grace, she wouldn’t have been interfering in Dex’s life so much.” He spoke to the window as though he couldn’t say it to her face.
“You mean clinging to Dex all the time?”
“Yeah. Well, Grace and I have started seeing a counselor.” He dropped his shoulders and blew out a breath.
“Really? That’s a big step for newlyweds.” She turned to face him, and he veered his gaze to his shoes.
“We need it. Probably should’ve gone before we got married.” He rubbed his forehead. “I’ve been lazy. I let Dex take care of things for Grace.”
“Wow. You really see that now?” She said it gently, trying not to throw him an “I told you so” look.
He nodded. “We talked about me being a better husband and her being more independent.”
“How?” It was an honest question. “I mean, how are you going to make Grace stop calling Dex when you’re not around or not quick enough?” Emma needed to know if Grace was truly going to become less dependent on Dex or if she was just going to hide it from Brent.
“I’m going to work on listening more, and when Grace needs something, she’s going to work on asking me first instead of calling Dex.”
“That sounds like a good start. If you can make it happen.” Not that it would help Emma. Grace had pretty much torpedoed everything she’d had with Dex.
“That won’t be too hard.” He raked a hand across the back of his neck. “Grace took credit for the soup you brought her, and Dex is pretty pissed at her right now.”
With the way Grace had greeted her the other night, Emma pretty much knew that was going to happen. “Is Dex feeling better?”
“Yep. Seems to be all well now. If it makes you feel any better, Dex pretty much told her to fuck off.”
She had to conceal the smirk on her face. “She actually said that?”
“Not in so many words, but Grace tried to call her a number of times, and she wouldn’t answer. So she sent her a text and invited her over tonight for Christmas Eve dinner. She came back with a big fat no.”
A wave of sadness rushed Emma, and her stomach churned. She sincerely hoped Dex wasn’t spending Christmas Eve alone, or Christmas either, for that fact.
“She’ll probably go to her sister’s. Grace said that’s where she usually goes for the holidays.”
That made Emma feel a little better, but her heart was still heavy. A few weeks ago she was the happiest she’d ever been and thought she’d be with Dex during the holidays. Now they would both be alone. Well, not totally alone. They’d have their families, but that just wasn’t the same.
Brent swung around to his desk and took something from the drawer. “Here. I brought you this.”
“What? We never exchange gifts.”
“I know, but I feel like shit for fucking up your life.”
She pulled the bow from the box and opened it. Inside she found a beautiful modern-art sculpture of entwined lovers. “Lovers? Really?”
“Grace feels really bad and thought maybe it might bring you luck. We brought it back from Greece.”
She chuckled and shook her head. “Or just to pass on the curse.”
“Or that,” Brent said as he took his coat from the hook on the back of the door and put it on. “Merry Christmas, Em. I’ll see you next week.” He left her standing by the window staring at the statue.
“Yeah. Merry Christmas.” She inched slowly to the desk, set the statue on the corner, and turned to leave. She spun around and picked it up again, then took it into her office and slipped it into her bag. Her love life couldn’t get any worse at this point, so it couldn’t hurt.
* * *
Emma sat in her car in front of her parents’ house. A new sign in the yard read “Holiday Christmas Light Contest Winner.” The lights decorating the house were beautiful as they sparkled in perfect rhythm. It was Dex’s work, something she’d done for Emma out of the goodness of her heart. She was sure her dad was thrilled. She checked her phone again. No response from the text she’d sent Dex earlier asking if she was okay.
Baking cookies was so not what she thought she’d be doing this Christmas Eve. It was her own fault. She’d canceled on her mother more than once to go out with Dex, which was clearly a wrong decision on her part. She took the statue that Brent had given her out of her bag and stared at it for a few minutes before she laid it on the back seat and covered it with a stray blanket she kept in the car. The lovers were going to be left out in the cold tonight.
She let out a sigh and got out of her car. She wasn’t looking forward to putting on a happy face tonight, but at least there would be wine. The chilled air immediately shocked her. She pulled her scarf around her head and sprinted up the pathway. The front door blew wide open as she went into the house. She quickly pushed it shut and leaned up against the oak door for a few moments. Coming home usually made her feel better, but right now all she could think about was Dex and how happy she’d been at Thanksgiving. It wasn’t about food or family. Her happiness had been because of Dex. The woman got her in every way, and she missed her more than she wanted to admit. She closed her eyes. Stop whining. It was your choice.
She pushed off the door, dropped her overnight bag in the entryway, and took off her coat. “I’m here. Where is everyone?” The Christmas music was playing as usual, but she’d expected to see most of the family in the living room watching TV and playing games.
“Your dad’s in the garage, and your brothers aren’t here.”
“They’re not here?” That was odd. The family was always here for a Christmas Eve dinner of spaghetti, meatballs, and garlic bread. It was Emma’s favorite, which she loved more than she loved the turkey on Christmas Day. Then after dinner everyone would open that one package under the tree that had their Christmas pajamas in it. Couples always got matching ones, and the kids’ patterns came as close to their parents’ as possible, although superheroes might take precedence this year. Emma would be out of the couples category for two
years running now.
“Yet. Did I forget to say that?” Glo said.
Emma continued into the kitchen, kissed her mother on the cheek, and saw the mounds of cookies covered in green and red plastic wrap on the counter. What the hell? “Is Judy here?”
“Nope.”
“You did it all yourself?” Emma was a little annoyed that her mother hadn’t called her and told her the cookies were already baked before she’d gotten there. She still had gifts in her bag to wrap and would’ve done it at home before she came over if she’d known the cookies were done. “And where’s the spaghetti?”
Before Glo could answer, the door swung open, and her dad came in from the garage.
“Judy’s at home with the kids. I had to call in alternative help today.”
Emma raised an eyebrow. “Dad helped you?” She found a small opening in the plastic, snagged a cookie from underneath, and took a bite.
“That would be a miracle,” she said with a laugh as Bill cleared the doorway.
She stopped mid-chew when she saw Dex right behind him standing in the threshold, dressed in jeans and a green V-neck sweater and looking as beautiful as ever.
“Hey,” Dex said as she stepped into the kitchen and closed the door behind her.
Emma froze as the tingle washed through her. She went from excited to happy to scared all in a matter of seconds. “You helped my mother with Christmas cookies?”
“Yeah. We had a blast.” Dex put her arm around Glo and squeezed.
What the hell?
“Don’t act so stunned.” Glo slipped her apron over her head. “She’s a great baker.”
She set the remainder of her cookie on the counter and glanced at Dex. “I didn’t know you were…” She turned to her mother. “I didn’t know she was coming.” She narrowed her eyes. “Did I miss a text or something?”
Glo patted her on the shoulder. “Nope. I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you wouldn’t come.”
“That was a definite possibility.” Emma flattened her lips.
“Well, since I’m here, hopefully you’re not leaving.” Dex raised her eyebrows and gave Emma that sweet, unassuming smile she adored. “I thought maybe we could talk.”