“Better go grab some before Molly gets here, then.” Penelope smirked at me, pleased that she’d managed to snag the primo spot to start the day.
Not that I didn’t like kids. But let’s face it—forcing children to go sit in some old, fat bearded guy’s lap and tell him what they want him to bring them for Christmas is a creepy fucking tradition.
It’s no wonder so many of the little ones ended up bawling their eyes out. But that meant it was my job to wipe their tiny noses and then dance and sing and try to get them to smile for the camera—usually while their parents “helped,” usually making the kids cry even more.
Fifteen minutes later, I gulped down the coffee I’d stood in line too long to get, burning my tongue in the process.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. What a shitty day. Already.
Glowering at everyone I passed, almost daring them to say “good morning” to me, I stomped back toward the makeshift Santa’s Village in the center of the building, right in front of Macy’s.
“You’re late,” Molly, my manager, said as I arrived.
“I was here. Already signed in.” I waved at the second computer. “Besides, we can’t start until Santa arrives. Who is it today?”
“Jeff.” Molly rolled her eyes as she said it, and I groaned aloud.
“Prepare to be groped,” Penelope said to me, smirking again.
“I’d rather report him to my manager,” I said, pointedly staring at Molly. As usual, she pretended not to hear me.
If I didn’t need this job so much, I’d report you, too.
Then Jeff the Groping Santa arrived, and my shift from hell officially began.
Four hours later, I was waving a small teddy bear dressed like an elf—his costume is less revealing than mine, and he doesn’t even have on pants, I thought—trying to charm a wailing baby and counting down the seconds to my lunch break, when all the lights in the mall flickered.
“What the—” Penelope smashed several keys on the keyboard, and suddenly every screen in the mall went blank for a second. Then they flashed back to life, showing Vos Klavoii, the administrator for the Alien Bride Lottery, in all his green glory, his shock of white hair standing out against the neon tint of his skin.
“Hello, people of Earth,” he announced, his voice booming out from every electronic device in the world. “And welcome to this Special Holiday Edition of the Bride Games!”
“What the hell?” I muttered, totally forgetting about all the children standing in line nearby. Several of the parents covered their children’s ears and glared at me. I ignored them, moving to stand by my coworkers as they stopped to watch the screen.
“Is this new?” Penelope asked. “I didn’t think they did holiday specials.”
She was right. They didn’t.
The Bride Lottery only happened once a year—or at least, that had been true until now. Every unmarried woman of childbearing age was put into a giant lottery, and if her name was drawn, she had to go compete to be a bride for a Khanavai warrior. All this was in return for the Khanavai keeping us safe from the Alveron Horde, another race of aliens who wanted to take over our planet.
But this year’s Bride Games had already happened, just a few months ago.
Of course, they’d been interrupted by the Horde actually attacking Station 21, where the games were filmed, and the brides were chosen.
Still, that shouldn’t have led to more games, right?
On the screen, Vos was still talking about this “Very Special Holiday Show, featuring a whole new cast of brides and grooms!”
A strange frisson of fear shivered up my spine.
I wasn’t even surprised when he said, “Let’s begin the drawing! Our first Bride Lottery winner is… Lola Richards!”
Penelope and Molly both stepped away from me as if I’d just announced I had the plague.
My eyes widened, and I had just enough time to say, “Well, fuuuu—” before a bright white light surrounded me, the scene around me wavered, and everything went black.
Chapter 2
Valtin Valenox
“A Christmas Special? Really?” I knew I sounded far too excited, but I couldn’t help it. Earth traditions had always fascinated me.
Especially Christmas.
Growing up, my best friend Kein’s family had celebrated Christmas. He was half-human, and his mother always said Christmas was the one holiday she wasn’t willing to give up when she moved to Khanav Prime.
I loved going over to their house during their holiday season. Kein’s mother had decorated in the closest thing to Christmas she could find on Khanav Prime. Khanavai blefnar plants, with their red needles and green berries, substituted for her traditional Earthen Christmas tree. She always said, “At least they’re the right colors for Christmas.”
As all this flashed through my mind, Commander Colpint nodded. “They’re calling it a ‘Holiday Special,’ but I do believe it’s based on the human Christmas holiday, yes.”
“I’m in.” Part of me knew I should be more concerned with finding a mate than with participating in a holiday special of the Bride Games. But I wasn’t all that concerned with choosing a mate; I was still young and there were plenty of brides in the stars. I’d either match with one or I wouldn’t.
But this was possibly my only chance to participate in a human Christmas celebration…with humans, no less. No way would I miss out on this.
“I suspected you would agree.” My commander grinned at me, and it was all I could do not to laugh aloud in joy as I headed to my quarters to pack.
When I stepped off the transport shuttle onto Station 21, I was disappointed not to see human Christmas decorations.
“Are you Valtin Valenox?” a yellow Khanavai male demanded as I paused to glance around the station.
“I am,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
“You’re late,” the irritable attaché barked at me. He was probably one of the permanent appointees to the station, part of our military who never saw combat but were essential to both the smooth running of the Bride Games and the success of our battles against the evil Alveron Horde.
It always astounded me that our culture valued front-line warriors above support personnel, when those of us on the front lines could not do what we needed to do without their help. Because of that, I always tried to be particularly nice to those soldiers who made my life better—even when they were not especially polite to me.
The yellow male rolled his eyes and gestured for me to hurry up. “Come on. We don’t have much time before Vos begins his explanation of the new games.”
I worked to keep my expression affable, but part of me wanted to dress him down for his attitude.
Does he not realize how lucky he is to get to spend so much time with humans?
As he led me through the station via a route I had memorized from maps and vids on the way out, I saw several humans out on the station, just going about their business.
They have no idea how wondrous they are.
I didn’t know if they realized they were the salvation of the Khanavai race. The longer the Bride Alliance held with Earth, the more integrated into our DNA humanity became. Which was absolutely necessary since our own females’ ability to reproduce had been destroyed when the Horde had attacked our planet with a mutated virus. The Horde were monsters, and humans were our saviors.
Humans agreeing to send brides to us in exchange for planetary protection from the Horde meant that our people would survive.
Sure, there had been some purists who wanted to reject all things human—but as they refused the chance for human brides of their own, they had begun to die out.
They were all idiots. Humans are amazing.
My cranky yellow guide pulled up short in the center chamber of the station, home to a food court on one side and the entrance to the station gardens on the other. The games arena was down one of the far hallways. I assumed that’s where we were headed.
The guide turned to glance at me with a critical eye. “
We don’t have time for you to freshen up.” His tone suggested he thought maybe I should change my appearance—even though I had recently bathed and had even changed into my dress uniform before I arrived.
“Leave your luggage with me and I will have it stored for you,” he instructed.
“Sure. What’s your name?”
“Tiziani,” he said shortly.
“Well, Tiziani, where are we going?” I asked.
“The arena. Vos will be addressing all of you there.”
The arena? Were there that many of us here? I’d been given to understand this was a small group, a test run for how well a larger set of holiday bride games might be run in other cycles.
Years, I reminded myself. Humans call them years.
I handed my bag to Tiziani, who led me down the hallway, and then opened a door and gestured me in.
Everything I had hoped to see in the way of Christmas decorations when I exited the shuttle had clearly been put up here.
It was a Christmas wonderland, a beautiful array of red and green, with silver and gold sparkling lights and tiny shimmering streamers. White shavings of something littered the floor, probably to evoke the feeling of ice and snow—though it was nothing like the snow I had experienced in the Battle of Hoffnons.
I wanted to spin around to take all of it in.
Then I caught the most amazing scent in the air. It was like Calderon spices and lifneg flowers, all rolled into one.
It was perfect.
And it smelled exactly like I had always imagined an Earth Christmas would smell.
“Oh, my God. It looks like Christmas threw up in here.”
When I turned to see who had spoken, I realized the amazing scent emanated not from any of the decorations, but from a woman who had just entered the arena.
A perfect woman.
She was tiny, round, and beautiful, with hair the color of the Lorishi desert—deep brown with gold streaks. She wore it pulled to one side in a clip so that it hung over her shoulder.
Her eyes matched her hair, right down to the gold streaks.
I could fall into those eyes forever.
The rest of her was all luscious, ripe curves, from the delicate line of her cheek to the fullness of her breasts. I found myself wanting to grab her hips and pulled her against my suddenly hard cock.
No. That amazing smell wasn’t the scent of Christmas. It was the scent of my mate.
She’s mine.
As she moved into the room, she muttered something I couldn’t make out. Then she glanced up into my eyes and stumbled—straight into my arms.
Chapter 3
Lola
When I staggered out of the weird transporter thing, my stomach heaved, but I managed to swallow it down.
Glancing around, I discovered two brightly colored aliens—one green, one orange—in skirts.
No. That’s not a skirt, I remembered. It’s a uniform. A … I cast about for the right word. A chavan.
Beside them stood a tall, thin, silver-colored chick, and a tiny…person…with a blond braid hanging out of one nostril.
But there wasn’t a single, solitary Christmas decoration anywhere.
So that’s a plus, I thought.
Then I leaned over and vomited.
“It’s no problem,” the silver woman trilled at me in her bell-like voice as she led me toward the first meeting. “The transporter often affects humans like that.”
That explains the toothbrush and paste they had on hand.
“I’m sorry we didn’t have time to get you changed for this,” her short, nose-braided companion—a Poltien, I remembered, a race without specific genders—added. “But Vos will love your Christmas-themed attire.”
I realized the Poltien had been right when we entered the arena. Clearly whoever had created this atrocity had a thing for Christmas.
“Oh, my God. It looks like Christmas threw up in here,” I said aloud before I could stop myself.
At my words, a Khanavai man a few steps ahead of me spun around to stare, his nostrils flaring as if he were an animal scenting something.
His skin was a bright purple, a color I had never seen on any of the Bride Games transmissions. A color that would clash with all the Christmas decorations. Horribly, in fact.
But I didn’t care.
Still feeling a little lightheaded from the transporter, I had an overwhelming urge to rush over, throw my arms around him, and start licking, like he was grape-flavored candy or something. The thought made my mouth water, and I had to swallow.
He was more muscular than any human I had ever seen, with washboard abs that could have done the laundry for a whole city in one day. His broad shoulders towered over me, tapering down to a perfect waist, and his piercing turquoise eyes made my knees go weak.
And he was huge.
“I suddenly want to go mountain climbing,” I muttered under my breath.
“What was that?” The Poltien asked.
“Nothing.” I shook my head to dispel the image of trying to climb the giant purple man.
Then I made the mistake of trying to look up at his face and walk past him at the same time.
I’ve never been terribly graceful, and those eyes of his boring into me like I was the only woman he’d ever seen before made me lose my train of thought entirely—along with my balance. Like someone in a stupid romcom, I tripped and fell, literally into his arms.
In one motion, as if I weighed nothing, he scooped me up, so my feet dangled off the ground. His arm tightened around my waist, and my breasts brushed against his bare chest. My nipples hardened into tight, sensitive pebbles.
We stared into each other’s eyes for a long, silent moment before the yellow Khanavai man standing next to Gorgeous Purple Dude cleared his throat. “Vos is beginning,” he said, motioning us forward.
“Right,” the purple Khanavai muttered as he set my feet back on the ground. But he didn’t remove his arm from around my waist as we moved toward a group of people in the center of the over-decorated arena, where Vos Klavoii was already talking.
“We are changing the format of the Bride Games for this holiday special,” Vos said. “Rather than dozens of brides, we have narrowed the field down to just three. Similarly, we have a small number of grooms participating—only six. As usual, any brides who match with one or more grooms will be expected to participate in the games.” He raised one eyebrow as he gazed around the room, as if daring anyone to object.
No one said anything. I think all three of the human women were still too shellshocked by the surprise drawing to say anything. I knew I was, anyway. Plus I still had a Khanavai’s arm wrapped around me.
“However, we have changed the games, as well. This series will run as a special, so it won’t be as varied as our regular Bride Games. In fact, there will be only one game, designed to confirm any matches—but it’s a longer game than usual.”
As far as I knew, this was completely different from anything they had ever done before. The Bride Games were usually convoluted, a little bizarre, designed to eliminate suitors rather than approve them—and recently, apparently designed to titillate the audience as well, given the spanking ceremony one of the brides had gone through in the last set of games.
Also, it looked like this time, they were working to make sure all the brides got matched and sent home with a Khanavai groom.
Suddenly, I didn’t care, as long as I got matched with the purple guy.
He’s the only one I might consider going home with.
I shook my head to dispel the thought. Go home with him? From a bar for a one-night stand, maybe. But forever? That was a completely different story.
“For this holiday game, each bride and her groom contestant or contestants will be expected to create the perfect Christmas holiday—together. And you have one Earth day to make it happen. Starting now.”
I groaned aloud.
More Christmas crap? Seriously?
I glanced down at the elf costume I stil
l wore from my work shift at the mall.
Well, at least I’m already dressed for it.
Chapter 4
Lola
Before we were allowed to leave the arena, Vos had us do an abbreviated version of the Bride Pageant. Unlike previous Bride Games, this one wasn’t live. It was being filmed ahead of time and would be edited into a special episode to be shown the next night—Christmas in North America. I wondered for a moment if the Khanavai understood about different time zones on Earth. But it didn’t seem wise to bring it up.
The other two brides caught up in these games had spent the hour since our transportation getting dressed up in evening gowns.
They looked gorgeous—one was a tall blonde from New York City who could have been a model. They had her in a slinky red sequined dress. In her high heels, she looked like someone who would actually be an appropriate match for a Khanavai warrior—they could walk down runways together and look perfect. The second woman was an equally slender, but not quite as tall, woman from Japan.
They both seem delighted to be participating in the Bride Games.
I still wasn’t sure how I felt about it.
Don’t get me wrong—that purple guy was steaming hot. I just wasn’t sure that was enough to commit my life to.
Supposedly, the Alien Bride Lottery was chosen at random. But as the other two women stepped up onto the dais and spoke into the microphone as Vos interviewed them, I realized we all had something in common.
None of us had any family back on Earth.
Hell, I didn’t even have a job waiting for me back home.
I had to wonder if that was on purpose. There had been some complaints recently about all the women who had been taken from their families and convinced to marry Khanavai warriors.
But notably, as the press had pointed out more than once, there had been no complaints from the brides themselves.
The whole thing made me suspicious. Were none of these women unhappy when they got to Khanav Prime?
A Very Alien Christmas Page 4