With any man she’d ever known, she wouldn’t be so forward. These two aliens were so different from everything and everyone she’d ever seen before, and in this case, she was convinced that demonstrating what she meant would be far preferable to telling them. She put her snacks aside and walked toward the couch.
Kepi and Sipu watched her approach, the former anxious, the other wary. She moved the TV tray out of the way and offered them her hands.
“Come here and let me show you.”
She pulled them toward her bedroom, and they followed without showing a shred of comprehension. When she brought them inside, Kepi’s demeanor changed.
“Ah! I understand. This is your sleeping chamber.”
“Yes, it is.”
Carolyn didn’t know how to seduce anyone. It had been so long since her last date that she wasn’t even certain she knew what to do. She tried to strike a sexy pose, but she could tell that she was just being awkward.
“You are weary,” Kepi said, nodding. “Of course.”
“Sleeping is a physical pleasure,” Sipu told his partner. He turned another placid smile toward Carolyn. “You’re absolutely correct.”
“I’m not…” She stopped and took a deep breath. This was not happening the way she’d hoped it would, and her behavior was more Mary Magdalene than Mother Mary. She blew out the breath and said, “Yeah. Sleep. That’s totally what I meant. Do you guys sleep?”
“Oh, we do,” Sipu answered happily. “I quite enjoy it.”
“Would you like to sleep now?”
“If you would like to sleep, we can do so, as well.” Kepi folded his hands. “Where should we go?”
Carolyn looked around. “The bed is big enough for two, so if you wanted to share that, I can sleep on the couch.”
“Will you be comfortable?” Sipu asked.
She forced a smile, feeling more embarrassed by her own behavior by the minute. “Yes. I’ll be fine. Good night.”
“Good night, Carolyn Walker.”
She left the room, stepping over to the linen closet to grab a blanket. Her house was so small that she was standing just outside the bedroom door, and Sipu turned to watch her.
“The cookies were very nice.”
He was trying to be kind. She was continually surprised by just how completely nice these aliens were.
“Thank you.” She held the blanket to her chest as if she could hide behind it. “Good night.”
Sipu spoke softly. “Good night.”
She went out to the living room and looked at the cookies and the eggnog, still mostly untouched. The evening had ended on such a strange note that she didn’t quite know how to react. She curled up on the couch under her blanket, incongruously missing her dog and wishing that she understood what had gotten into her. Had she really expected that the two handsome aliens would be attracted to her? She was a thirty-something spinster, an elementary school teacher whose most fashionable moment had probably been years ago when she was a bridesmaid in her college roommate’s wedding.
She fell asleep with the Christmas movie marathon still playing on TV. The tree’s lights were still sparkling, and they were the last thing she saw before she drifted away.
Chapter 5
Sunlight poured through the front window, painfully bright when she opened her eyes. She blinked and sat up, running a hand over her face. The TV was still on, but now it was showing an infomercial about a coffee maker, the same one that she had bought on a whim about a month ago. She could really use some coffee right now.
Sipu walked out of the kitchen, startling her. He had a mug in his hand, and she could smell the French roast as he approached.
“No way,” she said, her voice thick with sleep.
He smiled. “The instructions on the viewer were very helpful. I took the liberty of using your machine.” He held the mug toward her. “For you.”
She accepted it and took a grateful sip. “Wow. You’re hired.”
He sat down on the couch beside her. “Thank you.”
They sat and stared at the television together. When Carolyn felt reasonably awake, she commented, “I would have thought you’d still be sleeping. You were the one who said sleeping was a physical pleasure.”
“Oh, it is. Being kicked by Kepi is not.”
They laughed together, and it was the first time she’d heard the sound of his mirth. Like his voice, it was metallic with an echo, and it sounded like bells. She smiled at him.
“I like you guys,” she announced, surprising them both. She hadn’t intended to blurt the words that way. Something about these alien men made her impulsive.
Sipu didn’t seem put off at all. “We like you as well.”
“I’m glad.” She shook her head. “Sometimes I can’t really believe this is all real. I mean, who knew I’d have aliens in my house, and that I’d be contemplating a trip to another planet? If you’d told me last year this was where I’d be, I’d have said you were crazy.”
“Life can take strange turns, that’s certain.” He looked down at his hands, and she looked, too. “I must confess something.”
Sipu’s voice was so quiet that she could hardly hear him. She leaned closer. “Confess what?”
“I know what you were suggesting last night.”
Carolyn froze, and it felt like she’d been swallowing rocks. “Oh.”
“And I was disingenuous in our conversation.”
She flushed. “What do you mean?”
He turned to look at her. His eyes were iridescent green, like the carapace on a rare beetle. “I know what sexual intercourse is, and I know what pleasure it can bring. I…” He turned away, and this time he was the one who looked embarrassed. “I had a relationship with a human once, long ago. Kepi doesn’t know, and I wouldn’t tell him. He’s my elder and very dedicated to conformity. I don’t want him to think less of me. He’s so horrified by all things physical. But… it was wonderful.”
“How long ago was it?”
He smiled. “About two thousand and thirty years ago. Just after our ship was mistaken for a holy star.”
Carolyn heard a wistful tone in his voice, and it made her sad. She reached out and took his hand. “What was her name?”
Sipu started to answer, but he was interrupted when Kepi walked into the room. Carolyn released his hand as quickly as she could, and the other Liktan didn’t seem to notice that she and Sipu had been in contact. Kepi took a deep breath.
“I smell something unusual. It almost smells like something burning.”
She held up her mug. “Coffee. It’s made from ground-up beans and hot water, and it helps me wake up.”
Sipu helpfully told his comrade, “It contains caffeine.”
“Ah.” Kepi nodded sagely. “Caffeine is dangerous to our kind. Thank you for the warning.”
Carolyn frowned. “Dangerous how? What does it do?”
“It causes rapid heartbeat and shaking hands,” he answered solemnly. “Sometimes it causes restlessness, insomnia and headaches.”
“Sounds like you’re super sensitive to its effects. That’s how I feel after six or so cups of coffee without food.” She shrugged. “It’s temporary, though.”
“True.” Sipu took a cookie from the tray that had been set aside, one shaped like a snowman, and he nibbled on the scarf. “Still very good.”
Kepi sat down in the armchair and tried one of the cookies, too. He hesitated, and she could see him trying hard to keep his face neutral. Carolyn laughed.
“You hate it.”
“It’s… very sweet.”
“It’s a sugar cookie with frosting. Of course it’s sweet.”
“But… very sweet…”
Sipu bit the head off the snowman. “But delicious.”
Kepi put the cookie aside and brushed crumbs from his chest. “What does the day bring?”
Carolyn considered, then said, “Well, I don’t work for the rest of the week, so I was thinking about showing the two of you around. Maybe gi
ve you the opportunity to see human life up-close. Take you shopping, show you my classroom…”
A sudden stab of guilt filled her as she thought about the students she was about to abandon. They had only finished one-third of the school year, and she still had six months to dedicate to them. She had come into this year armed with detailed lesson plans and full of ideas of what she wanted to teach and special projects she had planned. How could she just walk away from all that now, without so much as a goodbye or even a warning to the school board that she would need to be replaced? Kids that age needed consistency, and Becky Jones needed extra help, and the thought that she was just tossing them aside made her feel sick.
Sipu was looking at her expression. “What’s wrong?”
“My kids,” she said simply.
Kepi frowned. “I thought you had not yet reproduced.”
“No, I mean the kids I teach. It just occurred to me that I’m about to walk away from them, and I was thinking about all the ramifications of that.” She sighed and pushed the thought away. “Anyway, I thought we’d go out and I’d show you what the lead-up to Christmas looks like. We can get hot cocoa and go for a carriage ride in the park… and when we come back, we can watch A Christmas Carol and It’s a Wonderful Life. And maybe we can go to a bookstore and I can get some books that will help me explain things better.”
“I think you’re already doing an admirable job,” Sipu smiled.
She considered the two men. “There’s only one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“You two will never, ever pass as human. You’re too...shiny.”
Kepi nodded. “Ah. Of course.”
He spoke to Sipu briefly, and then the two of them stood. Their hands went to the closure on the belts of their jumpsuits. They pressed the edges of the buckles, and a shimmering light surrounded them. When the light faded, they were standing before her in disguise. Kepi looked like a human man of Nordic descent, his silver traded for a fair complexion and white-blond hair. Sipu’s copper was now deep brown, and his formerly golden hair was black. They looked like completely normal men, with the exception that they were still gorgeous.
“Wow.”
Sipu smiled, and Kepi asked, “Is our appearance acceptable?”
“More than. You guys are hot.” She blushed. “Uh… I’m going to go get cleaned up and changed.”
“Of course.”
“Help yourselves to anything in the fridge. Food and drink, I mean.”
They looked at one another, and Kepi spoke for them both. “Thank you. Will it all be as sweet as the cookies?”
“No. Not all.” She pushed the blanket aside and stood up, still dressed in her clothes from the day before. She wanted a shower. “I’ll be right back.”
She took her time in the bathroom, wondering about the physiology of the alien men in her living room and trying to understand the things they made her feel. She came up with no answers and the questions she had about them were far too personal to ask.
Carolyn dressed and came back out into the living room, where the two of them were sitting side-by-side on the couch. Kepi had appropriated the TV remote, and he was flipping through the channels, pausing to watch the home shopping channels and the cartoons. The blanket she had slept beneath was neatly folded on the back of the couch, and all of the cookies on the plate were gone. She wondered if they’d been thrown away or eaten.
Sipu looked up. “Hello!”
“Hi. Did you eat the rest of the cookies?”
“Oh, yes. They were very good.”
Kepi smiled at her. “They were much improved by adding the juice from the small glass bottle in the cooling device.”
She was horrified. “You put Tabasco on the cookies?”
The now blond alien nodded. “Delicious.”
“Oh, God. That’s horrible.”
“You do not put the juice on food?” Kepi asked, confused.
“Well, yes, but not on cookies.” She shuddered. “That’s gross.”
“I didn’t use the juice,” Sipu told her quickly. “I did not disrespect your cookies.”
She laughed. “Cookies aren’t alive. They can’t be disrespected.”
Kepi looked appalled. “I should hope that they’re not alive! We’ve been eating them!”
Carolyn sat down in the arm chair. “What sort of food do you eat? What keeps you going on your ship when you’re traveling?”
“We have nutritionally appropriate synthesized food orbs,” Kepi answered proudly. “One orb will provide exactly the vitamins and minerals that our bodies need to be fully healthy. We eat them six times a day.”
She was fascinated. “What do they taste like?”
He looked surprised. “They have no taste.”
Sipu grimaced. “Unflavored gelatin.”
“Ew.”
“Compared to human food, it’s unappetizing,” he admitted. Kepi glowered at him as if he’d just issued a heinous insult.
“And when I go to Likta…”
“We have learned how to feed humans food that they can stomach,” Sipu assured her. “Taste, color, and aroma are all provided.”
“Oh, good. That’s a relief!” She stood. “So… do we want to go out and see Christmas in action?”
The aliens stood. “Let’s.”
She grabbed her coat and led the way to the car, where she showed Kepi how to work the seat adjustment so Sipu didn’t have to sit with his knees on his chin. She turned on the radio, which was set to a station that played twenty-four hour Christmas carols, and she started to drive.
Carolyn deliberately took a route toward town that passed the most outrageously over-decorated lawns in town. There were inflatable figures, snowmen, sleighs, and life-sized gingerbread houses, all of them festooned with lights that would create a truly festive eyesore after dark. The aliens were impressed.
“So much effort.” Sipu shook his head in amazement. “So much expense.”
“I know. It’s almost a competition in this neighborhood to see who can out-decorate the others. It’s the same way at Halloween.”
Kepi turned back from the window he’d been staring through. “What is Halloween?”
“Uh… Another holiday. But I’ll tell you about that one later.”
As they continued to drive, she began to sing along to one of the carols. The aliens looked at her in astonished concern.
“Why are you howling?” Kepi asked. “Are you hurt?”
She was taken aback. She’d always been told before that she had a nice voice. “No. I’m signing. It’s… well, it’s a sort of vocalization that humans do when we’re happy. It’s called music.”
Sipu chuckled. “You sing very nicely.”
Kepi commented to his younger companion in their language, and Sipu responded in kind, but with a shrug. Kepi turned to face forward.
“Please,” he said. “Continue to sing. I meant no offense.”
“None taken. Or at least not much.”
The streets took them downtown, where the village square was dominated by a huge evergreen that had been decorated by the mayor’s office. A life-sized Nativity scene stood in front of St. Mary’s Church.
“This is similar to the small display in your house,” Kepi pointed out. “It appears to be a representation of the story you told us last night. Is that correct?”
“It is. This is the stable and the manger where the Christ child was placed after he was born. And the Star of Bethelehem - which I guess was you guys - stood in the sky over the stable, and the three wise men followed the light to find him.” She smiled. “It’s a sweet story, and I grew up with it. This is actually my church, and the place where our pageant will be performed.”
“I would like to see you in your pageant,” Sipu said. “I would like to see the display and the story played out.”
She smiled wryly. “I think you’ve already seen it, but maybe if you watch the play, you can see it from a different point of view.”
“And a different interpretation.”
Kepi nodded. “Indeed.”
She pulled into a parking space near the city Christmas tree and the twelve-foot-tall inflatable Santa figure.
“I used to come here every year when I was a little girl. The night they lit the tree, there was a public party here in the square, and there was a street vendor selling cinnamon almonds and mulled cider.” The memory made her happy, and she leaned on the steering wheel to look up at the tree. “The angel on the top - do you see her? - she was made by my father’s high school art class.”
“Your connection to this place is profound,” Kepi observed. “Are you sure you want to leave? We don’t want you to have regrets.”
She couldn’t answer immediately. The thought of leaving all of this behind made her feel an unexpected pang, and she wondered if her acceptance of their invitation might have been too hasty.
Her silence wasn’t lost on her companions. Sipu quietly said, “There’s no need to answer now if you need more time to think. We understand.”
“Well… let’s keep looking around.”
She was backing out of the parking space when Kepi suddenly opined, “I think Santa Claus is an alien.”
She laughed in surprise. “What? No! Why would you think that?”
“We saw on the viewing screen that he travels to every house on the earth in one night. That would require a sustained level of supersonic speed that your race has not achieved. Also, the depositing of appropriate gifts in each Christian house would require a higher-level ionic transport device, a teleporter, if you will. That is technology that only a few species have.” He looked at her seriously. “I feel that Santa Claus is a Remiqan.”
She was unsettled. “No. He’s a myth, a fairytale conflated with a medieval saint. He’s not an alien.” Carolyn started to drive. “I don’t think he is, anyway. He’s just… magic.”
“A lie?” Kepi asked.
“Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. He’s a story that’s been created so people can make the holiday more magical for children. It’s actually the parents who leave the presents for the kids.”
Sipu chuckled. “Your people spend a lot of time and effort to lie to your children.”
A Very Alien Christmas Page 16