by Livia Lance
As usual, Lana and Nym wandered off to explore their surroundings and Clay tended to the horses. Once he was done, he started a fire and then sat, contemplating the path ahead. He still didn’t know exactly what was in store for them in Thelsamel and he feared that his time with Lana was coming to an end. Whatever they wanted with her probably had nothing to do with him and he knew he might never see her again.
He heard footsteps and turned to see Nym returning to camp.
“Where is Rowan?” he asked her sharply, rising to his feet.
“Don’t worry, she’s fine,” Nym assured him but then she frowned and looked over her shoulder in the direction she had come from. “Well, she’s not exactly fine but she’s safe. She wanted to be alone for a time but I think that you should go to her. Something troubles her and she won’t speak to me of it.”
Nodding, Clay grabbed his quarterstaff and walked away in the direction Nym had indicated. He’d noticed that Lana had been especially quiet but thought perhaps Nym could cheer her up.
He found her sitting with her back against a young tree, looking out at the mountain they had just descended, tear streaks on her cheeks. He knelt down beside her and carefully wiped the tears away. She barely seemed to register his presence so he sat beside her and waited, knowing that she would talk when she was ready.
Finally she seemed to rouse herself and looked up into his eyes.
“I have left it behind me,” she told him, her eyes full of sorrow. “Everything that I was is done. I’m leaving behind my station in life. I’m leaving behind my dead family. I’m leaving behind my humanity. All that I was is behind me, on the other side of that mountain, and I’m fearful of what is ahead.”
He gathered her in his arms and cradled her to his chest as she wept, as she cut the last ties that bound her to the lands of the humans, as she gave herself over to whatever fate had in store for her in Eva.
When it seemed like she had run out of tears, she tilted her face up to his and there was nothing he could do but kiss her. There was no holding it back anymore, it was as if nature itself was pulling them together, binding them so closely that neither could pull away even if they wanted to. And he knew he didn’t want to do any such thing.
Her lips were warm under his and tasted of the salt of her tears. At first she didn’t respond - likely she was as shocked as he was - but then he felt the pressure of her lips returning the kiss, her hands clutching at his shirt. She wasn’t pushing him away, she was pulling him closer.
He could feel the land around them rejoicing, reaching up through the earth and holding them as they held each other. He cradled her face as he kissed the last tears from her cheeks, gazing into her green eyes, marveling at the strength and beauty of this woman in his arms. He tried to imagine what it would be like to leave Eva behind him forever and it evoked an almost physical pain. She laid her head back on his chest and he held her for a time. Then, without a word spoken, they made their way back to camp, leaving a circle of new growth where they had embraced as if spring had come to that single spot and left the rest of the earth untouched.
* * *
Clay had been thinking about his mission. For a while now, he had been torn between following orders and protecting Lana, but the balance had finally tipped and he knew what he had to do. After they ate dinner, he told Nym that she could take second watch and he would take first. Lana settled down to sleep and she seemed to have no trouble this night. Perhaps her thoughts were peaceful for once or perhaps the emotional turmoil of the day had exhausted her. He spent a long time just watching her as she slept, trying to understand his feelings for her. Was it love? He had no way of knowing. I may never know, he thought sadly.
He made his preparations as quietly as he could, dividing up the food and packing his things away. When it came time to wake Nym up, he was very careful to make sure that Lana didn’t stir. She couldn’t know what he was about to do.
He gestured for Nym to follow him away from the camp, out of elven earshot.
“I have to leave,” he told her. Her eyes narrowed but she said nothing, merely waited for him to explain himself, a habit she had picked up from Lana. “I’m going to tell you the truth now and I need you to swear to me that you will do what I ask of you. Will you swear?”
She studied him in the dim light, which wasn’t so dim to an elf. After a time, she nodded. “I will swear. I have learned that you’re a good man and any reason you have to leave must be important. I cannot promise that I will tell you the truth of me, however.”
He figured that would be the case and he didn’t care. He trusted this woman completely and she had grown very close to Lana so he believed that she would protect her.
“Her name is Lana, she was the princess and heir of Loral. I was sent to take her and bring her to the elders in Thelsamel. The day I arranged to kidnap her, she was attempting to escape because some of the royals were plotting to have her killed. If you wish to know more of her story than that, you will have to ask her yourself.” He paused, gauging her reaction. Nym had straightened and the blood had drained from her face. She seemed shocked at this news, horrified.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.
“Yes!” she answered quickly, recovering herself. “Yes, I’m okay. It’s… just a shock. The poor girl.”
He nodded and continued, “She doesn’t know why I’m taking her to Eva or who sent me. I don’t wish for her to know. She believes that I was sent on a rescue mission to spirit her away to the elven lands. I’m taking the horses and going ahead so I can make sure it’s safe for her there. I must find out why they want her. If their intentions are to harm her…” He paused, steadying himself. He could hardly stand the thought of anyone harming Lana and he was horrified at himself for even considering taking her to the elders.
“I will not allow it to happen, but I couldn’t bear it if she knew that I was purposefully leading her to a place knowing that the people there might harm or imprison her.” He closed his eyes, willing away the images of Lana in pain.
“I understand,” Nym told him, putting a hand on his arm. “We are sworn to obey the elders and going against their wishes must be torturous. She will not know of your shame from me.”
“I want you to follow me on foot and take her to Thelsamel yourself.” He told her, looking into her eyes intently. “If it isn’t safe, I will return and meet you on the way. Take the path that passes through Kindermer so I can find you if I need to.”
Nym was paying close attention and he knew she understood. She was almost like a sister to Lana at this point and he was certain she would die before she let anything happen to her.
She clasped his hand and looked him in the eyes. “I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to keep her safe. Take care of yourself.”
He dropped her hand and embraced her. “Take care of yourself and take care of her. I will see you soon.” He turned away and gathered the horses. He would ride one and then the other to keep them from becoming exhausted. There was no time to waste, he had to reach Thelsamel quickly and find out exactly what they intended to do with Lana. They might execute him for entrusting his mission to another but it was a risk he had to take. He couldn’t allow harm to come to the halfling woman that he thought he might love.
* * *
Nym stood in silence, watching Clay’s shape shrink on the horizon until she could no longer distinguish him from the trees in the distance. Finally turning, she sat on a rock and gazed at Lana’s still shape. She had much to think about while she watched over her new charge.
She was filled with emotion but kept herself in control. Nym prided herself on always keeping calm no matter the situation but what Clay had told her shook her to her core. Rowan - Lana, she corrected herself - was the heir of Loral. This woman that she had come to love was a princess and next in line for the throne. A throne that Nym herself had worked very hard to topple not so long ago.
Nym reflected on what she had done in the days befor
e she met Clay and Lana. The blood on her hands. If Lana ever discovered the truth, she would never forgive her. Nym had only been following orders, just as Clay was, but knowing what she knew now, she wished she’d simply run away. Refused the charge the elders had placed upon her and fled in the night.
If she had, she wouldn’t have to face this woman when she woke. If she had, Jacob would still be alive. Nym’s heart broke all over again, just as it did every time she thought of him. Lana could never, ever know of her betrayal.
Abandoned
Lana woke feeling chilled and at the same time content. She stretched in her blanket and smiled, her eyes still closed. Clay had kissed her and it was so sweet. She thought about that moment, when she was so lost in her sorrow and fear and he had been so kind and concerned. He had held her and looked into her eyes until it seemed his face was all that existed in the world and then he was kissing her. She put her fingers to her lips, remembering the feel of him.
Slowly, she realized that something was different. She sat up and looked around the camp. Clay was usually asleep in his own bedding next to hers unless he had the last watch but he wasn’t there. His bedding wasn’t even there. She frowned and stood up. The horses were gone, too. What has happened?
Then she spotted Nym, sitting still as a statue on a rock nearby, facing away from her.
“Nym,” she said urgently, walking around to face the woman. “Where has Clay gone?”
Nym turned to face her but didn’t quite meet her eyes. It seemed to Lana as if her friend wanted to look anywhere as long as it wasn’t at her. She began to feel the first stirrings of true panic. Something was very, very wrong.
“Lana, he left,” Nym said quietly. At first, it didn’t register that Nym had used her true name but then she understood what she had heard. All of the strength left her legs and she sat down hard. Nym hurried over, concern clear on her face as she took Lana’s hand.
“Yes, he told me who you were just before he left. He has entrusted me to see you safely to Thelsamel.” Nym stopped talking and waited for her reaction.
Lana sat on the ground, at a complete loss for words. She didn’t know what to do with this news. Why would he abandon her, especially at this moment? Did their intimacy the day before mean nothing? What would she do without him there? He had become a pillar of strength for her, a source of comfort and contentment.
She closed her eyes and slowly summoned up all the dignity in her, the sense of self preservation that only a princess whose life was constantly at risk could know. She gathered it around her like a suit of armor and opened her eyes. Rising to her feet, her back straight, she looked down at Nym who was still kneeling at her feet.
“Explain,” she said in a commanding tone.
“I cannot,” Nym responded sadly, bowing her head in shame. “I can only tell you that he rides ahead to Thelsamel and he may ride back to meet us on the way.” She fell silent again.
“I grow weary of the things that people will not tell me,” Lana said coldly. “I will go to Thelsamel and you may follow me. I will get the answer directly from him.”
With that, she turned and gathered her things while Nym put out the fire. The balance had shifted between the women. Lana could no longer think of her as a companion, not if she refused to be honest about Clay. She could sense Nym’s deferral to her and that suited her just fine. Lana was tired of being the one who followed, knowing nothing of the world. She was born to lead, to command, and she settled back into that role easily.
She waited for Nym to gather her own things and then turned to face the east, where Eva awaited her, knowing that somewhere along that road Clay was riding hard, trying to beat her there for some mysterious reason.
I will see him soon enough, she thought grimly and started walking. Nym followed quietly several steps behind, keeping her own counsel.
* * *
The road to Eva stretched out in front of her and it was an easy path. As they traveled, Lana noticed that the land was slowly becoming fertile again. They had left the rocky, barren plains behind and were once again surrounded by grass, trees and wildlife. It was late in the year and the plants should have been sleeping, but that was not the case. It was as if the two of them were traveling into spring, the grass becoming greener with every step they took. Wildflowers had blossomed and insects were swarming around them. It had warmed enough that Lana had to pack her cloak away and remove her coat.
“We are near Eva,” Nym told her deferentially when Lana asked about it. “The elven lands are never too cold nor too warm. All things grow in perpetuity there.”
Lana nodded and kept silent. Nym was still having difficulty meeting her gaze and the women rarely spoke. It was as if she had fallen into the role of subject and Lana was the ruler, which wasn’t exactly far from the truth. After Clay had left she felt as if she had been cast out on her own and the only comfort she could find was to assume her old role.
The second night on their own, the women had come across evidence of a campfire. It could only have belonged to Clay. Lana stared at the remains of the fire for a long time, fury warring with despair but she finally settled on icy calm. She spread out her bedroll as Nym rebuilt the fire. Lana informed her that she would take the first watch and the elf woman could take the second. Nodding to her, Nym settled into her bedding and appeared to go to sleep.
Lana sat on a stone outcropping with her staff in her lap, gripping it tightly. There was something comforting about the piece of wood. Clay had left her and Nym wouldn’t confide in her but the staff was proof that there were things in this world that cared for her still. It was warm in her hands.
Feeling like she had far too much energy, Lana stood, walked a short distance away and began working on her forms. She swung the staff through the air, spun and swung it again. Over and over until her body was aching from the effort and she was sweating profusely. Every strike against an unseen opponent drained a little more of her anger until she was completely spent. She collapsed to the ground and wept, one hand still clutching her staff, allowing all of her grief to flow from her until she was devoid of any emotion.
She sat up, wiping the tears from her face and looked toward the camp. Nym was standing nearby, watching her silently. Lana stood and walked back, climbed into her bedding and spoke not a word to Nym. The physical exertion and the tears had left her exhausted and she fell almost immediately into a dark, dreamless sleep.
* * *
Nym stared up at the line of pine trees in front of her. Standing before the border of Eva was always almost a religious experience for her. She could feel the magics, weakened though they were, that flowed through this forest like veins. Everything was hushed here, there were no birds singing or insects buzzing. It was serene and peaceful.
She reached and placed a hand on one of the pines, feeling its spirit as Lana watched on in silence. The trees here were quiet but aware. They were always ready, watching for any intruders, ready to defend the elves with their lives. In this way they were kindred because she would lay down her life again and again to protect the young woman who traveled with her.
Once Nym learned of her true identity, everything had changed between them. It was a cruel twist of fate that had placed her in Lana’s path and caused them to become so close. Now every time she looked at Lana, she saw Jacob’s face, the look of pain and betrayal in his eyes as he died, knowing she had been the one who had killed him. There was some part of her that felt like if she could just see Lana safely to Thelsamel, she could be forgiven. It was irrational but it was the only thing that was keeping her going.
As a young orphan with no living family, Nym had been raised by the elders and so she was taught and trained to serve from an early age. In the beginning, she was simply tasked with helping to keep the palace clean or running errands. Eventually, they began sending her on small missions like traveling to a neighboring elven city and delivering a message.
Once the elders started sending her beyond the border, the mis
sions changed and she was no longer simply acting as a courier. She was now seeking out spies that were stationed in various kingdoms across the land, passing along orders or even helping them in their missions. She had been trained to fight and to kill and she had many opportunities to use these skills.
Her last mission had seemed very simple. There was a young human prince on his way to offer a treaty from the kingdom of Loral and she was to meet with him to learn of his intentions. They told her to stay with the prince until she received further orders. It had seemed like a boring job but Nym was ready for a rest so it would suit her fine.
She met him near here, Nym realized with a jolt of shock. It was right outside the border of Eva. She remembered that first meeting. She had waited for him, as she’d been told to do, and he had approached her hesitantly, seeming unsure of elves. It was her job to put him at ease and so she was charming and sweet with this young man. It wasn’t difficult to be kind to Jacob for he was kind himself, not to mention quite handsome.
He had the same coloring as Lana but instead of an elven frame, he was robust. Tall for a human, short for an elf, he could look Nym in the eyes. He had a sort of vitality about him, as if he could drop what he was doing and scale a mountain without breaking a sweat. Jacob was the kind of man who not only rose to every challenge, he would seek them out.
He had passed a rolled parchment to Sen, an elf who had come with her to act as courier, and Sen departed at once. It was her task to keep this man company and await orders so that’s exactly what she did. Jacob joined her at her camp on the border and together they waited for word to return from Thelsamel.
During their time together, Jacob spoke of his family and his sister, locked away in her room and pining for freedom. He wished he could have taken her with him on these dignitary missions but she was too precious. He spoke of his father, a harsh man who had little use for his son who could never take the throne. He believed he was sent out to treat with other kingdoms simply to have him out of the way. He spoke of his mother, a woman he had loved but barely remembered because she’d died in childbirth when his sister was born. He’d been only a boy.