by Lisa Harris
An awkward vibe settled in between them.
“Claire...about what just happened.”
“Forget it,” she said. “We’ve both been under a lot of strain and now being back together just adds to it. It’s normal that some of the old feelings we had would surface. But this...you and me... I was wrong. I can’t go there again. We can’t go there. This was a mistake.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You and I have a tendency to act before we think, but I’m not that person anymore, and I don’t think you are either.”
He nodded, but he didn’t want a clinical explanation of what he was feeling. Despite everything she was saying, he wanted to kiss her again and prove to her that she was feeling the same thing he was.
But he also knew deep down that she was right. His emotions were pulling him to a place he didn’t want to go. A place that they both would only regret.
“Good night, Reid.”
“Good night.”
He watched as she went into the house, shutting the door behind her. He wished he knew how to do the same thing with his heart. To close it off from her and those simmering feelings that had never completely died out. Funny how he’d thought he’d finally gotten over her after all these years and now, seeing her again, it almost seemed like she’d never left.
Reid hurried down the stairs of the front porch and along the driveway toward the barn. He needed to clear Claire out of his mind. A car motor caught his attention. The hairs on his neck prickled. They’d decided he and Claire would be safe here. He was planning to stay for a couple of days; his parents were here and Caden and a handful of ranch hands lived on the property. Everyone had been told to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.
He slipped into the shadows and pulled out his phone as he waited for the vehicle to come into sight. Moonlight caught the front of Caden’s car. Reid let out a sharp huff of air. He was getting paranoid.
Reid walked up to his brother’s car as Caden climbed out. “Where have you been?”
“Where do you think? Wedding plans. I tell you, I wish we would have eloped. To her credit, Gwen is doing everything fairly simply, but there are so many details you wouldn’t believe, and now her aunt’s here and wants to change things... If you ever find the right girl, convince her to elope.”
“Seems like sound advice.”
“I thought I’d stop by on the way home and make sure everyone was okay.”
“I’m just out getting some fresh air.”
“Is that all?”
“Claire and I were sitting out on the porch and winding down from a long day and... I don’t know how it happened, but I kissed her.”
“It doesn’t sound like the worst thing that could happen.”
“Mom ended up interrupting, but I don’t think Claire is feeling what I am.”
Caden followed him back toward the house and they sat down on the steps leading up to the front porch. The wind had picked up, but Reid barely felt it. “What are you feeling?”
“Confused, mainly. A part of me still feels so drawn to her.”
“You do remember that you’re the one who broke up with her.”
Reid rested his elbows on his thighs and shook his head. “Of course I remember. And I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“Have you thought about telling her that?” Caden asked.
“I don’t think I should do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I never should have kissed her. No matter what happens, we’re not getting back together. She made that very clear. Tonight was just... I don’t know what tonight was other than a mistake, but it can’t happen again. I can’t let it because it won’t work between us. I’m not going down that road again. And I need to respect her feelings.”
“So you’re just going to walk away. Like the last time.”
“I don’t know. If you would have told me two days ago that I’d be kissing Claire Holiday on my parents’ front porch, I would have laughed you into the next county. But kissing her feels like Pandora’s box has just been opened, and I’m now standing in the middle of this whirlwind, trying to find my balance.”
“Listen...” Caden squeezed Reid’s shoulder. “I know what it’s like to have your heart broken. Cammie canceled our wedding the night before the ceremony because she’d fallen in love with someone else. And she never had the guts to tell me until then. I never imagined myself saying that in two weeks I’m getting married to the most beautiful, Godly woman I’ve ever met. Sometimes God gives you second chances. Sometimes He brings someone completely new into your life and rearranges it.”
“I’m happy for you and Gwen. I really am.” Reid tried unsuccessfully to shake off the frustration entangling him. “Something tells me Claire and I will never have that happy-ever-after ending.”
Besides, what really mattered right now was finding out who was behind the threats on their lives. And after that, she’d be out of his life again for good.
TEN
Reid sat at the desk in the back corner of the police department, trying to stay focused on the computer screen in front of him. He had the list of the guests who had stayed at the B&B, and the video security footage to log in everyone who came and went. So far, nothing stood out to him.
He felt the familiar stir of his heart as he watched the video of Claire stepping in through the front door with her small suitcase, laughing about something Mr. Graham must have said. Why was it that no matter how much he tried to let go of her, reminders of her were suddenly all around him?
After an hour of watching the black-and-white footage, his vision was starting to blur. He pushed Pause and set down his pen before glancing across the room to where Claire was talking intently to the sheriff. He’d tried all morning to forget about what had happened between them the previous night, but the unexpected kiss had left him reeling. He’d dreamed about her during the night, and she was the first thing he’d thought about when he woke up, but he knew he was going to have to find a way to let her go, once and for all.
She’d been almost through eating by the time he got down to breakfast at his parents’ house, and she’d been cordial, but distant. The ride to town had been more of the same. The barrier between him and her heart was a wall she had no plan to tear down. But surely that kiss had meant something to her. Hadn’t it proven that they both had feelings, even if they didn’t know how to deal with them? But what did that mean? She clearly had no desire to explore thoughts of getting back together.
And if he was honest with himself, she was right.
That kiss hadn’t opened a door for them to consider exploring a relationship again. It had simply been an unexpected surge of emotion. Besides, he couldn’t forget that in a couple of days she was going to be heading home, and he’d be here, living out his own life. The bottom line was that she wasn’t a part of his life anymore.
He headed toward the coffee pot in the back of the room and grabbed himself a cup. Rubbing his neck, he slid into his seat again, then pushed Play on the video and continued looking through the footage, this time with the added boost of the caffeine. They needed to find a way to connect not only the fires, but also whoever had been after him and Claire. There had to be a link between the events, but he just couldn’t figure out what it was.
He continued moving through the security footage, checking off guests and marking down the time on a pad of paper. A minute later he pushed Pause. The time code had jumped forward. Or had it? He checked again. There was no doubt about it. The numbers of the time stamp jumped forward again. Whoever had started that fire had managed to splice five minutes out of the surveillance video and had probably been in that house. But who? And how?
He scribbled down the time stamps on his log sheet. He needed to show Claire and get the footage to IT to see if they could retrieve the missing minutes. While he was
n’t particularly tech savvy, he was pretty sure it was possible to retrieve what had been cut. Or at least he hoped so.
“Reid?”
Reid glanced up from his notes. “Hey, Shawn. What’s up?”
“The captain sent me to bring over some files Claire had asked for, but she looks like she’s pretty tied up.”
“Thanks. I’ll get them to her as soon as she’s done. They’ve been in there at least forty-five minutes.”
Shawn handed the files to Reid. “Are you finding anything?”
Reid hesitated. He trusted Shawn, but both the captain and the sheriff had been clear about keeping all information they gathered in a tight loop. The last thing they needed was for someone to speak out of turn and the details of the case to get leaked to the media.
“Still going through the footage.”
Shawn sat down on the edge of the table.
“It’s been nice to see Claire again, hasn’t it?”
“It has.”
“I heard that the two of you used to be quite an item.”
Reid shook his head. “Whatever was between us all those years ago is long gone. For the moment it is just nice to catch up. But there isn’t—won’t be—anything more.”
“You sound disappointed,” Shawn said.
“It’s just the way things are.”
“I’ve seen her a couple times over the past few years when I was up in Denver. It’s great to see how much she’s advanced with her career.”
“Yes, it is. Seems like the sky’s the limit for her.”
“She’s always been good at anything she does,” Shawn said. “I was hoping she’d bring her son down here, though. I’d like to meet him.”
Reid’s mouth went dry. “Her son?”
“I think his name is Owen. I figured you knew she had a son.”
“I... I didn’t, actually, but I haven’t seen her for years. Not since I left Denver. Like I said, we haven’t kept in touch.” Reid glanced toward the office where Claire was. “Are you sure she has a son?”
“Yeah, my mother told me about him. I think he’s five. I remember my mom mentioned that he was a Christmas baby.”
Shawn’s words felt like a punch to the gut as Reid did the math. There had to be a mistake. It couldn’t be his son. Could it? Claire would have told him. They’d made their mistakes, but she wouldn’t have just gone and jumped into a relationship with someone else so quickly, would she?
“Reid...you okay?”
“Of course.” He sat back, drumming his fingers against the desk. “Just tired from all that’s been going on these past few days.”
“I don’t blame you.”
Reid barely heard Shawn’s reply. He had to be jumping to conclusions. If Claire had been pregnant when they broke up, she would have told him. Right?
Shawn slapped his thighs then stood up. “I need to head out, but if you would please give those to her once she’s out of the meeting, I would greatly appreciate it.”
“Of course. Not a problem.”
“Listen, man,” Shawn said, turning back to him. “I hope I didn’t upset you. I just assumed you knew she had a son.”
“It’s fine. Claire has her own life to live. Whatever we had was over a long, long time ago.”
“Okay then. I’ll see you later.”
Reid stared at the screen, but saw nothing. He needed to keep working on the footage to verify that there weren’t any more holes. He was also going to have to talk with Claire, but it didn’t make sense. If it were true, why hadn’t she told him? She wouldn’t have raised his child without telling him. Would she?
He’d heard news about her from time to time, but he’d never heard about her having a baby. Surely something like that would have trickled back to him. But on the other hand, they hadn’t spoken for years, and when he’d left Denver, he’d lost contact with most people. So it was possible she’d had a child and he’d never found out. But again, why?
Ten minutes later, she came out of the office.
“Finding anything?” she asked.
Reid cleared his throat. “I did, actually. Still looking through the video footage, but I found a place where five minutes were cut.”
“Wait...really?”
“Footage from the night you arrived.”
“So someone could have entered the house and then somehow hacked in and sliced the footage, erasing their footprints?”
“That’s what it’s looking like. I’m verifying that’s the only spot.”
He’d answered her question, but his mind was on the dozen other questions he needed to ask her.
“So we’re looking for an arsonist with hacking skills,” she said. “We need to have someone see if they can find the missing footage.”
“Agreed. Oh, and Shawn dropped these files off. Said you’d asked for them.”
“Great. I did. Thank you.”
He angled his chair around so he was facing her. “I know there’s a lot going on right now, but can we take a walk? We need to talk.”
“I told you I’d rather just forget about what happened last night—”
“This...this isn’t about last night.”
“Okay.” The color seemed to drain from her face as she studied his expression. “Is everything all right?”
He caught her gaze and frowned. “That’s what I need to find out.”
* * *
Claire was already regretting her decision to talk with Reid. Somehow everything she’d convinced herself wouldn’t happen had, and he’d become too much of a distraction. He’d kissed her, and if she were honest with herself, she’d wanted to kiss him, as well. He’d managed to stir everything up inside her that she’d thought was long buried. But while she’d persuaded herself that Reid no longer held a piece of her heart, that she no longer felt anything toward him, she’d been wrong.
It had been another hour before they’d been able to slip out of the police station to the small park with wooden benches a few hundred yards away. A thin layer of snow covered the ground along with the decorations put up every year, making the quiet spot look like a slice of winter wonderland. But all the red ribbons, lights and decorated wreaths couldn’t fix what had gone wrong between them.
She sat down next to him on a bench overlooking the park, glad he’d chosen here instead of a restaurant. At least here they’d have more privacy, though sitting in a restaurant would have given her the distractions she needed.
“I turned the security footage in to the IT man,” she said. “Hopefully he’ll be able to find the erased footage and get us a close-up of our arsonist.”
“That would be wonderful.”
“We can also be fairly certain that it wasn’t any of the regular guests. Though I don’t want to assume anything, if it was one of them, they wouldn’t have any reason to erase any of the footage, because they were supposed to be there.”
“True. Except they might not want to be seen coming and going in the middle of the night.” She swallowed hard, ready to get to whatever he’d brought her here to tell her. “I’m pretty sure you didn’t ask to see me because you wanted to talk about the case. I really don’t want something like this to come between us. I’d like—if possible—for us to at least remain friends.”
“I am sorry about last night,” Reid said. “And I just want to be clear that I wasn’t trying to start anything between us. It took me by surprise.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I was taken off guard, as well. But the truth is, I’m not looking for a relationship.”
Especially with you.
She fidgeted in her seat, suddenly feeling extremely awkward.
“I never was good at beating around the bush, so I’m just going to come out with it.”
“Okay.”
“Someone told me this morning that you have a child.
”
Nausea swept through her. This couldn’t be happening. This...this wasn’t how he was supposed to find out. If he ever did find out, she was supposed to be the one who told him. And now...and now it was too late.
“Claire.” His fingers wrapped around her arm. “Are you okay?”
“Who told you?”
“Is it true?” he countered.
“Yes. His name is Owen, and he’s turning five this month.”
All the reasons her mother had used to convince her seemed to vanish. What had she been thinking all these years? She never should have kept Reid’s son from him.
Silence hung between them as the seconds ticked by. But she couldn’t talk. She could barely breathe.
“Is he mine?” Reid asked.
Claire searched for what to say. She’d rehearsed dozens of times telling him about Owen, but this...this wasn’t one of the scenarios. She’d been foolish to think he wouldn’t one day figure it out while she’d tried to bury her head in the sand and convince herself he’d never know.
“I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t answer my question, and I think I deserve to know the answer. Is Owen my son?”
“He is.”
Reid stood, the veins on his neck pulsing as he started pacing in front of her. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell me I had a son? Did you not know me well enough to know that I would have taken responsibility for him? Instead, you kept this to yourself. I don’t understand.”
His voice rose as he spoke, but she couldn’t blame him.
What have I done, God?
But this wasn’t God’s fault. She’d made a mess, tried to fix it on her own and now she was going to have to pay the consequences.
“I wanted to tell you—”
“No.” He turned back to her. “If you’d wanted to tell me, you would have. I can’t believe you kept this from me, Claire. I have a son. We have a son. Don’t you think that is something I would have wanted to know? And now he’s turning five and I’ve never even met him. I didn’t even know he existed. How could you do that to me?”