by Ella Miles
She was a virgin—but now she’s not.
I remember my first time. I was fifteen, and the woman was a stripper at Surrender. I think eighteen or nineteen. It was expected of me, so I did. It wasn’t life-changing.
But this was for Kai.
I pull the condom off that carried two of my loads. I’m not sure how protective using the same condom twice is. Probably not one of my best ideas.
“Let me clean you up,” I say, carrying the condom to dispose of.
“No.”
For once, I disobey her no. I run to the bathroom, grab a washcloth and then return to between her legs to wipe as much of the blood as I can.
She winces, but I doubt it’s from the pain. More from me taking care of her. She feels weak, and she hates feeling weak.
“Thanks,” she says when I stop.
I should release her arms, but this is the last moment of complete control I have. So I take advantage of it.
“I’m—”
“Don’t you dare say you are sorry.”
I cover her mouth with my hand so she can’t talk.
“I’m not sorry. Not at all. At least, not for tonight. Because without the excuse of punishment, you would have never let me fuck you. And as painful as it was, it also healed you. I see it in your eyes. When we first met, I was seventeen and you were sixteen, I wanted to be your first. But once you were sold, I knew it would never be possible. You may think you stole something from me, and you did steal power and forced me to face my own evil that lives inside me, but I also got a gift I never thought I’d have. I got the gift of showing you how incredible sex can be.”
She tries to speak, but I keep her mouth closed.
“So thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your first time, even if it was meant to hurt me. It did. But it also was the best fucking time I’ve ever had.”
Slowly, I release her mouth, and she stares with her lips parted, her hair a tangled mess on top of her head. I begin to undo the ropes before she speaks.
“You can be a monster, and I did want to hurt you. And I did, if only for a moment. But I did trust you with my first time.”
I smile.
“But don’t let it get to your head. I trusted you with my first time, because you are the only man who doesn’t cause me to flinch every time he touches me.”
I laugh. “I’ll have plenty more times to show you just how incredible it can be.”
She goes silent.
I finally release the ropes from her wrists.
And then an awkward silence falls between us. Neither of us knows what to say.
“I’m going to run you a bath. It will help with the soreness that is coming.”
She nods.
I start the bath and then return. She’s sitting on the edge of the bed with a blank stare and soft smile on her lips.
“The bath is ready.”
I want to scoop her up, but I know her well enough to know that’s not what she wants. It’s one of the reasons she didn’t tell me until it was too late she was a virgin. She didn’t want to be treated differently. She wanted to be treated like an equal.
But when she gets to the tub, I can’t help but hold my hand out to help her into the tub.
She takes my hand and then sinks down her chin, her eyes close, and she whimpers softly at the warm water.
I smile as I kneel next to the tub.
“You aren’t coming in?”
“If I come in, you’ll only end up even more sore, which defeats the purpose of the bath.”
Her eyes widen, but she doesn’t say anything.
What’s going on in that head of yours?
A knock startles me.
Kai and I exchange glances, but dread fills me. It could be Langston or the doctor coming to say Zeke took a turn for the worse.
“Be right back,” I tell Kai.
I grab a pair of boxers to put on before I answer the bedroom door.
Archard is standing in the doorway, looking concerned.
“Is Zeke okay?” I ask.
“He’s fine. Making jokes and hitting on the nurses. I think he’ll make a full recovery.”
I exhale the breath I was holding and smile. It sounds like Zeke.
“What do you need then, Archard?”
“Is Miss Miller here?”
“Yes, but she’s taking a bath.”
“I need to speak to both of you.”
I frown. I don’t like him coming anywhere near her when she’s naked. But the bubbles were covering her the last time I saw her, and from Archard’s look, this seems important.
I nod for him to follow me. I notice the bloodied sheets on my bed that look like a massacre happened instead of sex.
I smile, I would love to see his face when he noticed the blood. Instead, I hurry into the bathroom first to check that Kai is covered. She is. I give her a look of warning before Archard enters.
Kai tenses when she sees him, but not because she’s naked. She has no problem with her nakedness. But because we both know why Archard would want to talk to us together.
“The first event is ready. This is your twenty-four-hour notice. The first task was chosen by Mr. Miller. But that’s the only clue I can give you. Meet me at Surrender at nine AM tomorrow.”
I glance at the clock realizing it’s nine AM in the morning. It’s been a long night. And our lives are about to get harder. I may have fucked Kai. She may have served her punishment, and so did I. We may have even started a path toward forgiveness. But whatever our relationship is, it’s new. And before we have a chance to explore what sexual connection we could have, we are going to be forced into being enemies. And I doubt after tomorrow we can continue to be both—lovers and enemies. We can only be one. And our only choice is to remain enemies.
17
Kai
It was supposed to feel like punishment.
The sex was supposed to make him feel regret and pain.
Instead, it brought us closer into a connection I still don’t understand.
It was meant to be only one time. Hurt him and heal myself—that’s all.
But then I let him fuck me again.
And his words promised another fuck later if I’m willing.
That wasn’t supposed to happen.
Enzo wasn’t supposed to care for me after he fucked me.
He was supposed to hurt me and make me hate him even more.
Instead, it’s hard to look at him as anything but my protector. But tomorrow no matter what he wants, that ends. He can’t protect me and beat me.
The games start tomorrow.
Everything up to this point has been playtime.
Now it’s serious.
I have twenty-four-hours to prepare for a battle I don’t even know.
And right now, I’m sore as fuck.
Enzo’s cock was far larger than anything I could ever imagine. He stayed in me for far too long. And stretched me to my limit. But it felt so damn good.
I will never tell him that though. His ego is already too big.
I can’t stay in this tub all day, as much as I want to. And when I get out, I can’t snuggle with Enzo in his oversized bed like I want to either. I’m not sure he would want to anyway. That’s not how we are together.
Archard left us after giving us our warning. Not that his warning is much help. How do you prepare for a battle where you don’t know what weapon will be used? Or how the battle will be fought?
You can’t.
I try to think about what tasks my father might assign to try to give me an advantage. But when he wrote the rules, I was just a baby. He didn’t know he’d never have a son. He didn’t know that I would be fighting. And he did nothing to prepare me anyway.
I’m destined to lose. And after how I handled the last crisis, getting men killed, and a high-level leader almost killed, it’s probably for the best that I don’t stand a chance.
“Baby, what are you thinking?”
“That you should stop
calling me ‘baby’ and start thinking of me as the enemy.”
Enzo’s eyes drop, and he gives me a chilling look.
You don’t get to be my friend. You don’t get to be my lover. You are my enemy.
Why can’t you see that?
This was supposed to cement our hate for each other, not make us want each other more.
“Can you hand me a towel?” I ask.
“Sure.”
Enzo grabs a towel and holds it open while I climb out of the tub before wrapping it around my body.
He sold you, don’t ever forget that.
Don’t fall for the charming grin and seductive eyes.
Forget how good he made your body feel.
Enzo doesn’t move out of my way. We stand—both in various states of nakedness, but it’s not just our bodies exposed to each other, but our souls.
“I’m going to get dressed.”
“Okay.”
“And then I’m going to prepare for tomorrow.”
“Okay,” his lips tighten.
“Okay.”
Neither of us move. When this moment is over, so are we. I’m sure after tomorrow any feelings we have toward each other will be severed.
Finally, I walk past him, our arms touch and then our fingers brush against each other as if we want to hold onto each other’s hands.
We could have made a great couple. The sex is out of this world. We are drawn to each other even when we consider the other person an enemy. But it would have never worked out long term. Just like a flame that eventually dies out quickly with a burst of strong wind. We would have been snuffed out just as quickly.
It’s a good thing this can never happen between us. We definitely can’t have a relationship, and even fucking each other would bring up too many emotions between us. But it would have been fun to ride his cock while we could, before we let the drama come into our lives.
Too bad it took me until the last possible day to decide it was okay to fuck him.
I walk into the closet and pull on some running shorts, sports bra, and tank top. I’m not in the best of shape and decide I should spend today testing my abilities so tomorrow, no matter what I face, I will at least know what my skills are.
When I come back out, Enzo is dressed in jeans and a charcoal T-shirt.
“Going for a run?” he asks.
“I don’t want to stay here—not during the games. I should be staying with my father. He could help me prepare.”
“I could help you prepare.”
I snort. “Yea, you could. And then you would know exactly what my weaknesses and strengths are.”
His jaw tenses. “You aren’t leaving.”
“Let me leave for today. You can send one of your men to monitor me. I just really need to be alone today.”
“No.”
Enzo turns away, and I know this is a done conversation. He’s never going to let me go. He likes controlling me too much.
Damn him.
I don’t care if Enzo knows my strengths and weaknesses. He knows mine already, and I already know his. I just need some space after what happened to get my head on straight.
I run downstairs and out onto the sand. The sun is already beating down with plenty of moisture in the air despite a cloudless sky. It’s going to be a hot one.
I stretch for a moment, staring at the sea that feels like my enemy.
You will not hurt me.
I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with oxygen, and then I run.
I run as fast as I can for as long as I can on the sand.
I know Enzo’s property is vast, much larger than I can imagine. But I intend to run further than the edge of his property line. I know he has dozens of men watching his property. He has cameras and more security than I could imagine.
Enzo can do his best to keep me here, but it doesn’t mean I have to stay.
I run, my lungs burning, my legs aching the entire time.
Fuck, I’m weak. Weaker than I’ve ever been. I’ve never been much of a runner or exerciser, but working all the time and running from my father’s debt collectors kept me fit.
I see Enzo’s property line come into view as men patrol the edge with fencing almost all the way to the edge of the beach.
That’s my goal.
But five minutes later I lay passed out on the sand, my chest heaving to catch my breath.
Fuck, I’m out of shape.
Hopefully, my father didn’t plan anything that involved endurance, because I won’t win that fight.
I look at my puny arms. It better not involve strength either.
Fuck, I’m screwed.
It doesn’t matter—this all just a formality. Hopefully the tests aren’t too dangerous, and I can survive until Enzo wins. Then I can convince him to let me go free.
“What are you doing?” I hear Langston’s voice.
“Getting a suntan.”
He smiles over me.
I squint as I look up at him, the sun blinding me.
“Decide to go for a run?”
“Yes, although it was more of a crawl. I have no stamina anymore.”
He smirks. “That’s not what it sounded like last night.”
My cheeks redden, and I gasp. “You heard us?”
“I think the entire city heard you.”
I laugh. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry; I’ve already scrubbed out my ears.”
I nod.
He studies me for a moment, as a thought twists in his head.
“What?” I ask.
“Come with me.”
I don’t like the swift mood change, but I stand up and follow him. Sweat coats my body, and my legs ache with every step. After the first task I really need to start working out again and at least make an attempt at protecting myself.
We walk back towards the house and around to a private area on the side of the house.
“Zeke!” I say happily. He’s sitting in a chair with his feet in the sand.
He smiles back at me.
“You’re out of bed. That must mean you’re feeling better and out of the woods?” I ask.
He nods. “I’m feeling well enough to help teach you a thing or two.”
I cock my head, not understanding. I look from Zeke to Langston, and then I notice what else is new. Two targets planted in the sand.
“What are you talking about?”
“We decided Zeke and I should teach you some of the basics before tomorrow. We can only do so much with the limited time we have, but knowing how to shoot a gun at least could come in handy tomorrow.”
My lips curl up. “Does Enzo know about your plans?”
Langston gives Zeke a worried glance.
Damn, I like these two. Enzo may be their boss, and they would follow him to the ends of the earth, but they also make up their own minds and do what they think is best.
“What Enzo doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Zeke answers.
I grin.
“Here,” Langston says handing me a gun he pulls from the back of his pants.
I take the gun, it feels heavy in my hands, but I don’t feel dangerous holding it. I doubt even if I knew how to aim, that I would be able to shoot anyone with it—least of all Enzo.
Langston goes over the basic mechanics of how to load the bullets, how to check the safety, and how to aim, with Zeke jumping in occasionally when he has things to add.
And then I’m standing in front of a target with a gun in my hand, rapidly firing the gun. My first few bullets barely hit the edges of the target, but with a quick adjustment, I hit the bullseye almost every time.
“I think you need to back up and try some more, but you are a natural,” Zeke says.
“But don’t forget, it’s easy when no one is firing back. All dangerous men carry a gun, even when they aren’t supposed to. Be prepared for them to turn a gun on you at any second,” Langston says.
I nod, taking in Langston’s words. Then I exhale deeply as I back up a
nd fire off more shots, hitting the bullseye again and again. It’s a thrilling feeling to be holding something so dangerous in my hands and knowing if I aimed it at a person, I could kill them.
Zeke and Langston must really trust me if they feel safe with me holding a gun.
“What are you doing?” Enzo asks, stepping down from the deck as he walks toward us.
We all freeze and stare in Enzo’s direction. Even when he’s dressed so casually, he holds the power to get a room full of thousands of people to follow his orders with only his voice.
“Teaching her the basics to protect herself,” Zeke answers.
Enzo shakes his head as he stops walking a few feet away.
“You aren’t protecting her by teaching her how to shoot. You’re only giving her false hope that she actually has a chance at winning,” Enzo says.
I frown. Any pleasant feelings from earlier disappear with his words. I embody rage, and without thinking I aim the gun in Enzo’s direction, but instead of aiming for his heart like Langston taught me, I aim for just off his shoulder.
Enzo looks at me smugly, and I stare back at him.
He doesn’t reach for his own gun, even though I know he has one on him. He always does anytime he leaves his bedroom. Langston and Zeke don’t try to stop me.
I squeeze the trigger, aiming for a spot on the deck behind him, knowing if I miss and hit him, the worst damage I’ll do is to his shoulder. I won’t come close to killing him.
As I planned the bullet hits the deck behind Enzo.
The world stops, and I wait for Enzo’s retribution.
He smirks. “You missed.”
My own smug expression drops from my face. Enzo wanted me to shoot him. Maybe I should have, that might make whatever happens tomorrow a more fair fight.
He turns and walks back to the deck, not worried at all I might shoot him in the back.
“Oh, and you might want to teach her how to drive since she can’t do that either.”
I glare in his direction and consider firing again, but I don’t trust myself with a moving target. I could miss and kill him. Which right now wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Except then I’d become Black, and I’m not sure I’m ready or willing to take the job.
I don’t want to rule an empire. I don’t want to spend my days keeping people in line with my gun.