by Jeff Adams
I had a picture of him somewhere that I snapped of him standing around during warm-ups before one game after I’d discovered how insanely hot he was. His helmet was off, and he stood with one of his line mates. There was laughter and joy on his face much like I’d seen after the skills competition. The term gangly never entered my mind when I saw him around school either.
Kyle took a moment to focus on his food instead of me. “I appreciate you saying that.” He looked back with a super shy smile before redirecting our conversation. “So you’ve never tried skating again? The Arsenal has days season-ticket holders and sponsors come skate with us. You should totally do that.”
“That’s kind of a bucket list thing I’d have to work up the nerve to do. Not being able to afford sports as a kid is why I set up a foundation to fund after school sports programs. I’d like to help make sure kids who want to play can, regardless of the family’s financial situation.”
Kyle nodded as his face lit up. “I work with organizations like that as often as I can. I was lucky my parents were supportive and had the money.”
The server returned with salads, and Kyle looked contemplative as the plates were set, and we both had fresh pepper added to our greens.
“Did you say you’re here tomorrow?” Kyle asked, a tinge of excitement in his voice.
I nodded. “My flight’s not until seven.”
He reached into the pocket inside his jacket and pulled out his phone. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes as he typed.
“What’re you up to?”
He wouldn’t do anything too crazy, would he? Nerves pulsed through me as I tried to guess.
“If I can make the arrangements, tomorrow we skate.”
Was he serious? He wanted to do more than just dinner? He wants to skate with me?
Oh my God.
Nine
Kyle
Whoa.
Austin greeted me with a crooked smile as I entered the rink.
Honestly, I expected another late showing.
The pristine sheen of the ice indicated he hadn’t been out there yet. He bobbled just a little bit as I approached. Austin radiated determination as he deliberately took measured steps. Walking in skates took some getting used to.
“Laced up, ready to go.” I called out. “Great!”
He shrugged, and we traded a quick hug hello. We’d hugged goodbye last night too, and he felt good. Honestly, I would’ve hugged longer if the Lyft hadn’t arrived. He fit against me so well.
This embrace felt right. I hated that I carried my skates in my left hand, so I couldn’t hold him as tightly as I wanted.
“I wanted to get here on time and get into the skates to see how they felt.” He indicated the skates I held. “Do you take skates everywhere you go? I would’ve thought your gear was on its way back.”
“I keep gear at Bobby’s, so when I’m in town, we can easily play pickup. And I’m super picky about my skates anyway. Total custom fit.”
“Oh, nice. Kinda sounds like a spy though—having gear stashed around.”
I smirked up to him. “Shhhh. Don’t give away my secret.”
We held that look for a moment before I sat on the first row of bleachers. I pulled off my sneakers, pulled on the skates, and started lacing.
“Was your brunch good?”
“Yeah.” I looked up as I finished one skate and moved to the other. “Good food, good chat. I love hanging with my family anytime I can. Bobby and Seb took Mom to the airport, and I came here.”
“I hope this didn’t take you away from them.” Guilt crept into his voice.
“Not at all.” I stood and stamped my feet a couple of times to make sure my feet were set right.
“Damn, you’re fast. It took me a few minutes to get the laces right.”
“I could do this with my eyes closed I think.”
Austin fidgeted with just a bit of fear in his eyes
“I promise this will be good. Fun.” I gestured for him to step onto the ice. I followed close behind, just in case he needed an assist.
He hesitated, looking at the ice as if it might come alive and swallow him up. I didn’t want to make it a big deal, so I stepped out and faced him.
I held out my hand.
He took in a deep breath before he grabbed on and squeezed it tighter than I’d expected.
“Are you sure this is okay? We’re taking up an entire rink for me to repeatedly fall on my ass.”
Austin stood between me and the boards, keeping his grip on me and using his other hand to steady himself on the ledge. His concentration… I kind of wanted to kiss the crinkles along his forehead and around his eyes.
“Totally fine. We’ve got this rink for ninety minutes. This is where Bobby plays, and he helped me get it.”
“How’d I let you talk me into this?”
“That’s not how I recall it.” I slowly moved us along, trying to take his mind off the mechanics of how he moved. “You were pretty excited about the idea.”
“Too many beers maybe?”
“Nah. Not with just the one.” I smiled, and some of the fear left his eyes.
He took his hand from mine and attached it firmly to my forearm—like an action figure that had super powered grip. It didn’t hurt through my hoodie and sweatshirt, and honestly, I kind of liked how he took charge and held me how he wanted.
“Now we're going to glide away from the boards. You’re gonna trust me. I won’t let you fall. Once you lose the fear of getting hurt, you’ll enjoy this more.” I sent him all the confident energy I had. “Trust me?”
“Yes.” He didn’t pause to think. “You coach kids. I should be able to do this.”
I nodded. “You can do this.”
His hold relaxed just a bit.
“Now, let me go.” He hesitantly released me, and I waited patiently so we didn’t move too fast. “Now I’m going to come around in front of you.” I easily pivoted so we stood face-to-face. “Now, bend your legs just a little.” I squatted a bit—exaggerating my normal stance—to demonstrate. “It’s like you’re about to sit. That lowers your center of gravity. Now just walk forward, one skate in front of the other.”
He made tentative steps, and I stepped back to mirror him. It only took a few more steps before he glided more than walked. Exactly what he should do.
“See. Progress. Now think about this like it’s a dance. You’ll mirror the moves I make. We’ll go as slow or fast as you want.”
Austin vibrated, his shudders rolling into my hands and arms. I couldn’t tell if it was from fear or the instability in his strides. My grip on his wrists was firm but not tight.
“Try not to look down at what your feet are doing. You’ll tend to move the direction your eyes go. My young students are the same—always wanting to look at their feet or the puck. Keep your head up.”
His strides improved as we started a second lap with his speed increasing too.
“Holy shit.” His eyes were wide and happy. I’m doing it.” Laughter and joy filled his voice
“Yeah. Yeah, you are.” My chest filled with pride at teaching him. Kids were never scared of skating, and I wasn’t used to trying to coach someone who was. “Told you I could get you to skate.”
“It doesn’t seem nearly as hard as I made it out to be.”
We continued to move around the rink.
“Once you’ve got the basics down, it’s like anything else. The bicycle cliché in effect. Of course we still have to get you to stop…”
“Oooh.” Now he sounded like one of the kids as they asked about something they really want to do—usually advanced things like slap shots. “Can you teach me to snow somebody?”
I bit back a laugh at his excitement. He had a ways to go before he’d be fast enough and have the blade control to spray snow.
“Now,” I said with my stern coaching voice, “I don’t want to have to put you in the penalty box for unsportsmanlike conduct.”
A flash of something went thr
ough his eyes that sent warm vibrations through me. What was that? I wanted to see it again.
He hummed in response. The sound went straight to my cock, and it stirred in my sweats.
What the hell?
Yeah, Austin was cute, but it wasn’t like we were going to do anything else. I liked him and that I could do this for him.
The slight blush on his cheeks highlighted the moment. Mine were probably the same. Did he feel—
“So, um, how do I stop?”
Good. Back to the lesson.
“My advice for beginners is to snowplow, so you turn both skates out to make a plow.” I let him go and skated backward. He continued forward. “I’ll skate a few paces away. You keep going and stop before you hit me.”
“I don’t want to run into you.” He wobbled as he said it.
“You’re not going to hurt me, and I’ll catch you if something goes wrong.”
I sprinted, skating backward as his forward momentum continued. I put about twenty-five feet between us. His form had already improved in just the short time we’d been here.
“As you turn your skates out, make sure you dig in to stop.”
It only took a few seconds before he did run into me. I caught him as his skates pivoted weird. Thankfully, he didn’t panic, and he used me for stability as he brought his skates firmly under him.
“Sorry.”
I didn’t mind his body running into me—at all.
“No worries. We’ll work on that. The point of today was to get you moving, to give you what you didn’t get at that party. Few things make me happier than skating around to some music.”
I pulled out my phone, turned up the volume, and started my playlist. There was enough sound with it in my hoodie pocket so we could hear.
“Seriously?” A big grin was on his face. “We get to skate to Madonna?”
“Well, it’s an eclectic playlist, but yeah… skate to some music.” My suggestion had exactly the impact I hoped. I hated it when people missed out on experiences, and I was glad to give him this one. “So, you want to know a secret?”
“Of course.”
Instead of continuing to go backward, I skated alongside Austin, letting him hold onto my arm again. While I swayed to the music, I made sure it wasn’t enough to knock him off course or balance.
“I always have this playlist with me. It’s dance music for the most part but some songs are slower. I always start with this one because I saw a live video of Madonna in concert doing it with all these roller skater dancers. I love the disco vibe, and it’s a great remix of music.’”
I subtly sped us up. He kept up. I suspected the music kept him from overthinking the skating.
“You carry your own skating music?”
“Totally. It’s not too weird, right?”
“Not at all. I like knowing this about you. And this is a great version of this song. I’ll have to check out the video sometime.”
“You could just pull out your phone now and look?” I couldn’t help myself, poking a bit at his phone issue.
“My phone is in my shoe. When I talked to Tamara this morning, she actually ordered me to leave the phone off. I wouldn’t be surprised if she calls a couple times just to make sure I don’t pick up.”
“She sounds awesome.”
“I’m lucky she tries so hard. I’m not an easy person to change. It’s just…”
I waited to see if he was going to continue, but eventually I nudged. “You can say whatever. I’ve already shared a secret playlist after all.”
“My parents worked hard and never had much to show for it. They kept food on the table and made sure I did what I needed to do to ensure I’d get through college. Thankfully, I’ve been able to retire them and make sure they’re comfortable. But…”
He looked at me and lost control of his strides. I kept him steady and slowed us down.
“Sorry.” He looked at me with sad eyes, the same ones I’d gotten a flash of last night.
I slowed us more.
“Maybe I’m shouldn’t skate and talk?”
I raised an eyebrow in questioning surprise. “You know that’s a little ridiculous, right? I mean, we scream across the ice at each other all the time.”
“I know.” He grinned, his mood lifting a bit. He pointed forward with his free hand. “Let’s speed up again. I have to admit that was fun.”
I nodded and gently ratcheted up our speed, bringing it back to where it’d been.
“This must be boring after the speed from the skills competition.”
“Never. Any skate is a good skate. I love it when we do the open skate events. You really should come. It’s such a good time.”
It’d be cool to skate more with Austin. I liked being around him—easy to talk to, good looking, plus that something that got me excited in a way that I hadn’t ever been.
“My parents always worked.” He didn’t look at me this time, and his voice was more monotone than before. “Sometimes more than one job each. I made money where I could. They never wanted to run the risk of losing the house or whatever. They’ll never be without though. The key patent for the technology AMDD developed is jointly in their name, and that should keep them taken care of.”
It didn’t seem like he’d finished, so I stayed quiet. I’d give him all the time he needed to either continue or change the topic.
“Even with that, I always think in the back of my head when I don’t answer a call that it’s going to fuck everything up, and I’ll lose it all. It doesn’t matter there’s an entire staff backing me up. I’ve even tried therapy, and I can’t totally push away these feelings.”
We kept skating, and he settled into good strides. He seemed to be holding something back, but it didn’t seem right to question him on something so personal.
“Kind of lame, huh?” He looked to me and didn’t stumble.
“Not at all. I totally get how lessons from parents stick with you.”
Ten
Ausitn
Few people knew the story of my parents. Tamara and maybe two or three others. I’m not sure what inspired me to tell Kyle. I felt comfortable around him, though, in a way I’m not with most people. He’s got a bit of a jock swagger and confidence, but he’s really just open, kind, and a nice guy. Somehow, he quieted some of the voices in my head that pushed me to always be doing something related to work.
“I get how taking care of family is important.” Kyle spoke softly, and I paid close attention to make sure I heard him over the music. “My dad taught me to skate when I was four. Took me to my first hockey game that year too. By five, I’d joined a mites team. Bobby started playing at five too, but I had the aptitude for it and moved on to more competitive teams. Mom and Dad supported me every step of the way.”
The wistful quality of his voice captured me. It couldn’t get more perfect than hearing a story about skating while we were going around the ice. I hoped I wouldn’t screw up the mood with a klutzy moment.
“When I was eight, Dad died in a car accident while he was on a business trip to London.”
Involuntarily, I gripped Kyle’s hand tighter. He didn’t flinch. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you.” His smile was the kindest I’d ever seen—the simplicity of it said everything was okay. “We can consider this the family sharing time of our skate date.”
He just called this a date. Did he mean that in the context of the auction win or…?
“After the funeral, my grandpa and uncle told me I was the man of the house. I had to look after Mom and Bobby. I took that very seriously, looking after Bobby at school, trying to help Mom when I saw that she was sad. Grandpa in particular kept reminding me of it until he passed away when I was in high school. Despite what Mom and Bobby have said over the years, it’s hard for me to let it go. Family was important already, but this extra layer’s been drilled into me. So different circumstances, but we can’t shake off what we learned as kids.”
We’d shared a lot. If we we
ren’t skating, I’d pull him into a hug.
“The weird thing is,” I picked up, “they don’t get they can finally let go. They still scrimp on food, and I can’t convince them that they can buy something just for the hell of it.”
“Sounds like they’re stuck in their routine just like you and I are. Mom tells me I worry too much and spend too much time keeping tabs on her and Bobby rather than finding someone…”
Uh-oh. What happened?
“I’m totally babbling. Sorry.”
I’m not sure who was more vulnerable.
“You should bring your folks to a game sometime.” Kyle moved the conversation as the music coming from his pocket kept playing dance tunes. “Between your sponsor access and what I get as a player, we can set them up great.”
“I’ve tried. They don’t want me to spend money. I wish life hadn’t been so hard on them that they can’t enjoy more now.”
Kyle looked at me and again raised that eyebrow, except this time it came with a quirky smile. “Hmmm. That sounds familiar.”
“Whoa. That’s not fair.” I knocked into his shoulder, temporarily forgetting I was on skates. My feet sputtered, but Kyle leaned into me and kept me upright. “And maybe you should take some advice from your mother. Seems like she’s in favor of you settling down like Bobby.”
He grunted, deep and gravely. What sounds would me make if he were under me? Or over me? Anywhere with me in bed.
Oh, man. We’re so far away from that.
I couldn’t go there. I’d already thought about that while drifting off to sleep last night, and while it was a sexy, great fantasy, it would never come true.
“I’ve never figured out how to date and do the travel, the practices, the games, and everything else. How could I give anyone the time they deserved? I know a lot of guys date and get married while playing the game, but I can’t imagine being able to make that work.”
Kyle and I had unexpected things in common. Our pasts had interesting intersections with family and obligations.
“You’re really tight with your family. Has it always been that way?” Probably a weird question to ask, but his family seemed so different than mine.