by Harms, C. A.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Knoxville
“The anniversary party was so beautiful that we thought we’d have the reception there.” The whole family is gathered in my parents’ kitchen as Shanelle fills us all in on what she and Beckett have decided for their wedding. I am physically there, but mentally I was stuck in my apartment where Tinley walked away from me and took my heart with her.
It has been almost a week since I’ve seen her, and it was the hardest fucking week of my life. So many messages were unanswered, and calls sent straight to voicemail. She wasn’t even working her regular shift at Griffin’s.
The last thing I want to be doing is helping plan a wedding for my brother when I feel like fucking shit. I want to be angry at Beckett for pulling up all that shit on Tinley. I want to blame him for the situation I am in, but I know I can’t. Because I didn’t have to take the envelope when he offered it.
“How are you doing?” I look to my left to find Kins giving me a concerned look. The girl is always so up on everyone around her, always trying to fix things, make people smile when it is the last thing they feel like doing.
“I’m all right, sis.” I wasn’t even close to being all right.
“Have you heard from her at all?” I shake my head and toy with the dishtowel on the countertop. I just need something to focus on because I feel like I am going out of my mind.
“I remember the very second that I realized Ashton knew all the things that happened to me. I remember the look in his eyes and though he said it changed nothing, it changed everything.” Kinsley remains focused on me and the intensity in her eyes makes me feel weak. “He looked at me differently, he treated me as though I was made of glass. Me, I was okay with that, because I wanted to be held closer and tighter. I wanted him to hold me and never let go. But even through all that, when I’d find him looking at me while we were watching a movie or having breakfast, I’d get the sense that he was pitying me and that was the worst part. I hated being treated like a victim because all that did is make me relive the nightmare over and over. I may not know Tinley well, but I can almost bet she’s fearful of the way you’ll look at her now.”
“Is it wrong that I want to protect her?”
“No.” I sense a but coming. “There’s just the right and wrong way of going about it.” And there it is.
“Word of advice?” I nod, at this point I’ll take all I can get. “When you do finally talk to her, you can’t go in demanding things. You have to accept the fact that her independence isn’t a way to drive you insane, but a way for her to cope with what she’s been through. You can’t take it away from her, the man that hurt her already did that to her. From a woman that has been there, one that has lived through a similar situation, you have to understand that in doing so, you are only driving her further away. Love her, Knox, but don’t expect her to fall at your feet and do everything you ask when you ask it. It took her a lot to get where she is now. You have to be patient.”
Again I nod. Talking about everything that had taken place made me feel so torn apart, exposed, and raw. I miss my blue-eyed girl, the one who never stopped giving me shit and made me laugh even when she wasn’t trying.
I can’t just sit around and wait for her to come to me. I have to do something.
* * *
I sit in my car outside her apartment like some fucking stalker. I’ve gotten a number of looks from curious neighbors, but I didn’t budge. I know she is there; her car is parked along the curb. I also know walking inside and knocking on her door would get me nowhere. She’d never open the door.
I hold my phone in my hand, replying to a few emails while I wait. My window is cracked just enough to allow a light breeze to float through the car. I hear the sounds of cars driving by, a horn blaring in the distance, and even the sounds of people talking as they walk by.
I drop my phone in my lap and allow my head to rest back and that is the moment I see her. She is walking toward the front stoop of her apartment carrying two bags of what looks like groceries. My hand is on the door handle and I am pulling it free when the sound of my sister-in-law’s voice begins to ring through my mind. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet and do everything you ask.
With a few deep breaths I climb out of my car and hurry across the road. Tinley has just reached the front door of her apartment building when I call out to her. As she turns, my chest grows tight and I grip the railing to keep from rushing to her.
“I’m not here to fight, I just wanted to apologize.” I place one foot onto the first step and stop when I see her shift nervously. “I’m sorry I pushed so hard, I’m sorry my brother took it upon himself to look into your past, and I’m sorry I took the envelope when he offered it. But I’m not sorry I know. I meant what I said before I knew, knowing wouldn’t change anything. I loved you then and I still love you now. You’re so fucking strong, Tin, and confident. I still want to hold you and kiss you, I still want to share my life with you. So, I wanted to come here and tell you that you can take all the time you need for this, but you should know I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be waiting for you when you’re ready to come back to me.”
“Knoxville, I don’t kno—”
“I said I’ll be waiting, Tin, because you’ll come back to me. I won’t accept any other outcome. My life no longer works unless you’re in it.” I take a step back just so she knows I’m not going to invade her space. “When I look at you, I still see the most beautiful woman. That will never change.”
I walk away with a million things still rolling around in my mind that I want to say. As I crawl into my car, I look toward the front of the apartment to find her still standing there watching me, and I know there is still a chance for us. I just have to be patient. It isn’t something we Montgomery men are very good at. But for her I will try.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tinley
“It was denied.”
“What?” I am confused. I had answered my phone from a dead sleep to have my brother practically shout those words at me. With wide eyes, more from surprise than understanding, I sit up in bed and rub my hand over my face.
“Rob’s parole,” my pulse quickens and I feel my stomach coil, “it was denied.” Relief…it hits me in one huge wave as tears pool in my eyes.
“I didn’t even know he was up for parole.”
Calmer now, Tripp began to explain. “Naomi and I came to see you partly because we wanted to see how you were, to make sure you were happy, but because we missed you too and it was time. When we found that you’d been dating Knoxville and that you were happy, we agreed not to mention it, unless of course we had to. The letter came to Mom and Dad’s house and they called me. They weren’t sure how to bring it up, so I told them that I would handle it. Then we got there and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t spring that on you then leave. I didn’t want to ruin what you and Knox had by throwing fear into the mix.”
What my brother doesn’t know is that I may have already ruined it all on my own, because of my inability to open up and share myself with a man who says he loves me.
“Dad and I went to the hearing.” I closed my eyes tightly, imagining my father and brother sitting in the same room as Rob, staring at him with hate-filled eyes. “I couldn’t not tell you, Tin. It was denied. He’ll serve his entire five-year sentence.” It still doesn’t seem long enough.
“I need to stop letting him rule my life,” I confess, feeling my body give in to the exhaustion I feel. “Knoxville is a good guy, and he cares about me.”
“That man doesn’t just care for you, Tin, he loves you.”
“Yeah, he does.” I fight the tears but am unsuccessful as they roll along my cheeks and drip to the bedspread I hold securely around me. “It’s been easier to remain distant, to not create any bonds with anyone. I’ve lived the last year as a bitter person. I’ve looked at every man that I’ve met and automatically placed them in the same category as Rob.”
“I think we both know th
at Knoxville is in no way a mirror image of Rob.” Tripp only spent a few hours with him and saw how great he is. Knox wasn’t even at his best and my brother saw his good side. “Rob was a messed-up guy, Tin, not always but he was never level-headed. Trouble followed him like a black cloud and he fixated on you, worshiped you to the point of fatal attraction. You didn’t deserve that, you didn’t ask for what happened, but you can’t live your life like at any moment it’s gonna change. You need to live, you need to be happy, and I think Knoxville is the one to give you that. You need to let him love you.”
“When did you get all mushy on me?” I say with a laugh. Tripp the playboy, the rockstar of one-night stands, was giving me relationship advice.
“When a certain beauty decided to take my heart even though I wasn’t up for offering it. I had no hope with Naomi, she loved me even though she knew I was an ass.”
“I’m glad you two have each other.” They are good together.
“Me too.” He sounds so happy. “Now it’s time for you to give your heart to someone too. I think we both know that he wants it more than anything. Stop torturing the man.”
* * *
My body jerks when the elevator doors slide open. I am frozen, staring out into the lobby of Knoxville’s business at people moving around, guys with badges on their waistbands, women in heels that click against the marble floor.
“Are you staying or going?” A tall, dark-haired man steps inside and holds open the door. He watches me with a brow arched, a smirk on his face.
Staying,” I say in a rush and hurry off. I skid to a stop the moment I realize what I did, and I spin around to get back on the elevator, but the doors slide closed, leaving me in the middle of the lobby. What in the hell am I doing here?
“Can I help you ma’am?”
Ma’am, really?
Spinning on my heels I come face-to-face with a pretty girl, maybe around my age. I blinked a few times like some lunatic, but honestly her breasts made her head look tiny. They can’t be real. They are on display, as in ready to spill out of the top of her very tight red shirt.
“Are you here to see someone?”
“Knoxville.” My voice cracks with nervousness. This is so unlike me. “Knox,” I repeat, this time stronger than before.
“Do you have an appointment?” The woman seems very territorial of Knoxville as she forces a smile and stands directly in my path.
“My name is Tinley Williams,” I say with confidence that in all honesty I don’t feel. “I’m sure if you tell him I’m here, he’ll see me.” Actually I’m not sure, but I don’t want her to know that.
“Yes, of course, Ms. Williams.” The perky girl steps aside. “Right this way.”
Hm, I guess I won’t have to create a scene by bulldozing her and running rampant in search of his office.
She walks ahead and I look her over. She is wearing red heels that make my feet hurt. The heels are so tall and pointy, I know they have to give her at least four to five inches of extra height. Those soles are thin and match her red shirt perfectly. The tight black pencil skirt she wears should make it hard for her to walk with the way it’s suctioned to her body. Here I am wearing jeans and a blouse with sandals, nothing fancy by any means. I feel frumpy.
“Mr. Montgomery.” I look up, realizing she is paused outside a partially open door with her hand resting on the door handle. Had I missed her knocking, or even opening it? “There is a Tinley Williams here to see you.”
I didn’t hear anything from the room before her but by the way she steps back creating room for me to pass, I take it as Knox accepting my arrival. “Thank you,” I offer as she begins to walk away.
With a deep inhale followed by a slow exhale, I step forward and look up. He sits behind a large mahogany desk, book shelves covering the walls behind him. A large Apple computer is on his desk before him with a few other monitors on the credenza to his left. There are papers scattered over his desktop and a pen held firmly in his hands as he rests them both atop the papers.
“She’s pretty.” The minute the words leave my mouth I feel like a fool.
He nods, still remaining seated behind his desk, saying nothing. “Do all the women that work for you dress so…” I let the word “sleazy” die as I step further into the room. His silence is making me nervous, which in turn triggers the blubbering idiot inside me. “Don’t tell me you don’t notice.” I motion toward the door that is now behind me, where his perky secretary just disappeared.
“She’s not you, so to answer your question, no, I don’t pay attention.”
I find myself a little surprised by his reply, and his demeanor—he seems so indifferent after he showed up at my place a couple of days ago telling me he’d wait. Now here I stand and there he sits, and it seems as though we are miles apart. But in his defense, I have been pretty unpredictable and crazy lately, so there’s that too.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” I confess, considering leaving and forgetting this entire thing is happening. “I’m not even sure what made me come here. I just know that I got in my car and somehow ended up in the front of your building. I know it’s wrong, I shouldn’t bother you while you’re working but—”
“You couldn’t control it.”
“Yeah,” I reply with a shrug.
Knox grins as he leans forward, resting his elbows on the desk as he watches me.
“I know you always looked at my reluctance to talk about my past as me hiding things from you, but it was never about that.” I step closer, feeling like a weight is pressing on my chest. “I never wanted to bring this into your life. It’s why I resisted, why I tried to convince you that we weren’t a good idea, I just—”
“Stop,” he says forcefully, making me freeze instantly. “You’re not doing this. You are not gonna push me away and try to make excuses as to why we shouldn’t be together. I’m not going anywhere, you’re not going anywhere.”
“Knox, I can’t—” He is up and moving around his desk with such determination it surprises me.
“You can, and we will.” He pauses with only a few inches separating us. “This shit between us isn’t something you can wake up one morning and decide it’s over. It’s not over.”
“But—”
“I said it’s not over.” He grabs my arms and pulls me closer, my chest now pressed to his. “You can keep fighting this, but I’m not letting you win. I can’t give you that, Tinley. I can give you anything in this world, or at least I will do my very best to do so. I can’t tell you no, but on this I will. I’m not letting go.”
“I hate that you know what happened to me,” I mumble as I bury my head to his chest. “I know you look at me now and you see me differently.”
“I look at you and I see a beautiful, strong, determined, and desirable woman. I see the woman I’m in love with, the one I want to share my life with.” I fight against the urge to cry. How can he be this person? How can he be so amazing after the way I treated him? “I’ve realized over the last week that I don’t want to be without you. It hurts too much.”
I stop fighting, and instead let the tears fall as I look at him. “I don’t want to be without you, either.” The confession feels good. “I just don’t want what you know now to change us because I really love us.”
“I really love us too.” He leans in and presses his lips to mine. The taste of my tears mingle with the gentle swoop of his tongue. “There is nothing that you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you, that I can promise.”
“I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.” Knoxville smiles against my lips and I can’t stop myself from doing the same.
“But you did.”
“Yes,” I confess when his gaze locks with mine. “I did.”
Chapter Thirty
Knoxville
I exit the elevator into the main lobby of the building, my hand securely holding onto Tinley’s. I’ve decided to take the rest of the day off and share it with her. A familiar cackle ec
hoes through the open space and I freeze.
“You are so bad.”
Again with the insane giggle that I’ve only heard when visiting my brother at his office, or when I’m trapped at an event that unfortunately, he is also invited to. So why in the hell is Lexington Russell in the lobby of my building? And why is he using his flirty taunting voice?
“Maybe later we can be bad together.”
I whip around, fully expecting to find him staring at me while biting his lip, the same way he does every other time he sees me or one of my brothers. Instead I find him throwing that glance at Greg from IT.
“Is that…” Tinley steps closer to my side and we both stare.
“Lex,” I reply, and Lexington notices us.
“You’ll have to forgive me, handsome.” He leans in and kisses Greg on the cheek before hurrying in our direction. “I owe you big,” he gushes as he places his palm on the center of my chest. I am still so dumbfounded by seeing Greg with him. Greg, the man I swore was straight.
“That man.” Lexington whistles. “I won’t give you all the juicy details.”
“Please don’t.” Tinley laughs at my side when I plead for him to stop.
“I will, however, tell you that he makes me tingle all over,” Lex over exaggerates with a wink, “and I do mean all over.”
“No more, please.” I hold up my hand and he sighs.
“Hello, you gorgeous woman you.” Lex steps away and grabs Tinley’s shoulders, surprising her. “Fab Four night tomorrow, me, Kinsley, Shanelle, and now you.”
Fuck no, I am not letting him recruit my girl to be part of his crazy.
“Sounds fun.” I shift toward Tin and give her a “what the fuck” look. “Oh please, it’s one night, you big ape.” She rolls her eyes and I chuckle. There’s my girl. She exchanges numbers with Lexington and when he hurries off happily, she places her hand back in mine. “You said something about feeding me.” I don’t miss the way she smirks. “I was thinking takeout, and your place.”