‘If they are not, I shall soon turn them around.’
Although he did not know quite how he would manage that when he had no clue about running an estate. The flick of her eyebrow before she stalked away suggested that Kitty, too, doubted his bold confidence. Let her think what she pleased. It would be a relief to leave London and its inhabitants behind him and, as for Kitty, maybe putting distance between them might help him to sort through the confusion of his feelings for her. At least he need no longer be burdened with guilt over the past, knowing now that she had not suffered after he left. He could now look to his future and plan his life free from the sentimental, romantic regrets that had plagued him for far too long, regrets over what might have been.
He returned to Lady Datchworth, who cast a glance at a nearby couple, deep in conversation with one another, before patting the empty chair by her side. As Adam sat, the couple moved away on to the dance floor and he recognised them as Miss Mayfield and Lord Sampford. Lady D. watched them go.
‘What are those two up to?’
‘Shush! Nothing. How should I know?’ Lady D. tore her attention from the couple and turned it on to Adam. ‘What did you say to upset Catherine? For two people who barely know one another you do seem to rub one another the wrong way.’
‘I shared my opinion of high society and she took offence.’
Lady D. tapped his arm with her fan. ‘You must learn to dissemble, Kelridge. Bluntness will win you no friends.’
‘I do not need friends. I need to go to Kelridge and learn about my inheritance. And, to that end, I have decided I shall leave London in the morning.’
‘Tomorrow?’
‘Aye. It’s time. I’ve told you many times I have no wish to marry in the foreseeable future. There is no need to stay here longer.’
‘But...’ Her Ladyship stared at Adam, her lips pursed. ‘I need you to escort me to the Change tomorrow. At two o’clock.’
‘Two o’clock? Why?’
‘A shopkeeper there has a new cane for me. A very special cane.’ Lady D. leaned towards him, putting her hand on his arm. ‘Besides...you did express an interest in seeing the beasts in the menagerie...’twould be a pity to miss them.’
‘I make no doubt they will still be there next time I visit London. Hertfordshire is not Scotland—it is a short enough journey. Only a couple of hours, so I am told.’
‘Precisely! So it will not hurt you to delay your departure. Have you ever seen an elephant?’
‘No.’
‘Then you simply must go before you leave. I insist. You can set off for Kelridge Place after you have escorted me to the Change. As you rightly say, the journey is only a few hours so you will reach there long before dusk.’ Her voice rang with satisfaction and she sat upright once again, clasping her hands over the top of her cane.
Adam raised his eyebrows and grinned. Really, she was totally impossible. He didn’t for one minute believe her excuse of buying a new walking cane, but curiosity prevented him from arguing further.
‘Very well. I shall escort you. But I shall not stay for long, so no lingering, mind.’
It would be amusing to discover the real reason for Her Ladyship’s sudden desire to visit the Exeter Exchange. Leaving town a few hours later than planned wouldn’t hurt him.
Chapter Seven
Kitty tamped down her rising irritation as she stalked across the room, seeking Robert and Charis. How dare Adam, with only a few short weeks’ experience of this world, be so judgemental of this life? Her life?
How she now wished she had not succumbed to that ridiculous impulse to rescue him from Lady Datchworth’s matchmaking mischief. In fact, she had regretted her impulse the second she had taken his arm—the play of muscle and sinew under her fingers had roused long-suppressed feelings within her, feelings that had only intensified as they danced: a peculiar fluttery and yet clenching sensation deep inside her that she hadn’t experienced since...
With a silent oath she diverted her thoughts from following that particular trail. They were physical feelings of no use to a widow such as she and she had no intention of either encouraging them or, heaven forbid, indulging in them.
But surely you want to know what it might be like. You are fooling yourself—
She ruthlessly quashed that taunting inner voice as she finally found Robert. She had learned her lesson and she would guard her heart from any such misery ever again. No matter how her treacherous body might react to the infuriating man.
Her stepson eyed her, then sighed.
‘I recognise that martial light in your eye, Stepmama. Who has upset you?’
‘I am not upset.’
Robert grinned. ‘Let me hazard a guess. Was it the new Lord Kelridge? I saw you dancing.’
‘Do not speak to me of Lord Kelridge! He had the utter gall to peer down his nose at us and our friends and acquaintances.’
‘Did he, by Jove?’ Robert scanned the room. ‘Well, it appears he is also unimpressed by the entertainment and refreshments at Almack’s, for it looks as though he is taking his leave. Clearly a man of impeccable taste. What did he say?’
‘He finds, and I quote, “no merit in lives lived in pursuit of idle pleasures”.’
‘Ah.’
Robert stroked his chin, a mannerism that indicated he was secretly amused.
‘You find that funny?’
‘Well...might I point out to you, dearest Stepmama, that you have more than once uttered the same opinion?’
‘That is entirely different.’
‘How so?’
‘This is our world. Our life. I am allowed to voice such criticism.’
‘It is his world now, too. And he will see the absurdities that, incidentally, both you and I know exist. He is entitled to his opinion, is he not?’
Kitty set her jaw, knowing she was being irrational but loath to back down. ‘He may very well be entitled to his opinion, but I wish he would keep it to himself.’
Robert eyed her. ‘Was that a metaphorical stamp of your foot?’
His lips quirked and Kitty felt her own quiver in response. Then she could no longer hold back her laugh and Robert laughed with her.
‘There. I always was able to talk you down from the high boughs,’ he said. ‘I hope you weren’t rude to poor Kelridge...it is a difficult time for him, you know.’
‘I am never unmannerly, Rob. You know that.’
‘No. But you can freeze a man with one look, as I know to my cost.’
‘I am persuaded His Lordship is too thick-skinned to notice anything as subtle as a cool glance. Besides, he leaves for Kelridge Place tomorrow so we are unlikely to see him again for a long time.’
She shut her mind to a sensation that snaked through her...a sensation that felt very much like regret. She had no wish to explore that feeling further, afraid that if she allowed her thoughts to dwell too much on Adam and the feelings he aroused within her, the defences she had built around her heart would start to erode. And that she could not risk. Look at how he had tried to kiss her at Lady Charnwood’s ball...an old habit, he had called her. Surely that was enough of a warning to avoid him—he had matured into an attractive man and it would be too easy to fall under his spell all over again. She must keep reminding herself of those lies, and of how he had let her down when she needed him. Like her father, he had used her for his own ends, then cast her aside.
‘That is a pity. I had a mind to consult him on a matter concerning Fenton Hall.’
‘The Hall? What matter?’
‘Nothing much.’ His hand rose to pull at his earlobe and Kitty watched him, puzzled. It was another habit of Rob’s—this time when he felt uncomfortable, or guilty, over something. ‘I’ve been pondering whether to have another wing built, to balance the one built after the fire. And, as Kelridge was involved at that time and as he is a trained a
rchitect, I thought to seek his advice.’
‘Another wing? But... Rob...the Hall is surely sufficient for our needs? What do we need with more space?’
Robert shook his head. ‘You may be right. It was merely a whim and this is not the place to discuss it.’ He scanned the dancers. ‘Charis is dancing with Sampford, I see. We need to keep an eye on that. I’m surprised the fellow even got a voucher for here.’
‘The Patronesses must be lowering their standards. They allowed Kelridge in, too.’
Robert laughed. ‘Poor Kelridge! He really has upset you, hasn’t he?’
‘Not at all.’ She changed the subject. ‘What is your objection to Sampford?’
‘He is hanging out for a rich wife to reduce his debts.’
‘Many peers are in similar financial straits. He is a little old for her, it is true, but Charis appears to be enjoying his company.’
‘That,’ said Robert grimly, ‘is what I am afraid of. Charis enjoying his company, I mean. He is charm personified. On the surface.’
‘Ah.’
Kitty did not ask Robert to elaborate. She had crossed paths with many such men and, in general, they shared the same selfish outlook on life. Charis deserved much better. Robert collected his sister as soon as the dance ended and the remainder of the evening passed uneventfully.
It was only later that night, as she prepared for bed, that Kitty realised Robert never did tell her why he was contemplating enlarging Fenton Hall and, by the morning, she had forgotten all about it.
* * *
‘Stepmama?’
It was just past noon the following day and Kitty had hoped to make progress on her story, in which Arabella, her spirited and beautiful heroine, had just innocently interrupted the abduction of her six-year-old orphaned nephew, Arthur—the Duke of Northam—by his dastardly uncle, Lord Sidney Barmouth, whose intention was to gain control of young Arthur’s fortune. The hero was about to step on to the page and she had just decided on Jason as the perfect name for him.
Her attention, however, had been wandering all morning—distracted by images of Adam. Last night was the first time they had spoken in the fortnight that had passed since Lady Charnwood’s ball and Kitty’s unwise foray on to the terrace. Until last night, Kitty had deliberately avoided him at society events and he, true to his word, had avoided her. But he had still regularly invaded her thoughts to the point where she suspected her preoccupation with him had strayed dangerously close to obsession.
How could she have guessed that he would turn up at Almack’s of all places? What was Lady Datchworth thinking, dragging him there...unless, of course, she was still intent on throwing him and Charis together?
Kitty refused to examine quite why that idea made her feel so...so...prickly. He was unsuitable and too old. That was enough to warrant her objection. It was nothing whatsoever to do with that insistent voice in her head that mocked her for still being attracted to him, despite everything.
‘Stepmama?’
Kitty started, rattled that she had, yet again, wandered deep into her own thoughts. She laid her quill aside before facing her stepdaughter with a smile, welcoming the interruption to the constant circling of her thoughts.
Besides, she thought with a despondent sigh, my stories cannot hold a candle to those of Miss Austen. My first story was no doubt a fluke and I doubt I shall ever be good enough to be published again.
Somehow, though, the more she told herself that, the more she felt driven to keep striving to improve. Her first published novel had barely caused a ripple of interest, but the drive to write and to have her stories published was a dream she could not quite set aside. She was fortunate that Robert regarded her ‘little hobby’ as harmless. He had been instrumental in achieving publication for her first novel, but only on condition her name was not known, even to the publisher, because female novelists were still regarded as racy and scandalous by many in society and he feared any notoriety might tarnish Charis by association.
‘Yes, Charis?’
‘Might we visit the Change today instead of paying morning calls?’
Kitty opened her mouth but, before she could speak, Charis rushed on, ‘I know you will say we went there last week, but I am exceedingly eager to go and see the animals again.’
‘But...the last time we visited the Menagerie you became distressed at how they are confined.’
‘It is true I should rather see such creatures roam wild and free, but I know I shall never have that chance. We will return home soon and I should like to see them again.’
Kitty shook her head wonderingly. ‘You really wish to spend time today staring at wild beasts at the Exeter Exchange rather than call upon your friends as we planned this afternoon?’
It was not that Kitty disliked the animals—she found them fascinating—but...surely a responsible stepmother should be able to channel her charge’s interests in a more suitable direction?
Charis pouted. ‘I shall see my friends tonight. Besides, Annabel can talk of little else other than her wedding and how utterly wonderful Talaton is. All one can do is nod and agree, and murmur “How fascinating” at suitable intervals.’
‘It was only a few weeks ago you were in alt over their betrothal.’
‘That was when it was news. We have surely said all there is to say on the subject by now and yet still Annabel and Mrs Blanchard prattle on and on, repeating themselves ad infinitum until I could happily close my eyes and go to sleep, I am so bored.’
Kitty eyed Charis, sensing there might be more to this than she was admitting.
‘Charis...do you feel a little envious of Annabel?’
‘No, I do not. She is welcome to Talaton. But I find it increasingly hard to keep smiling when I find myself the subject of pitying looks from both Annabel and her mama because she has found a husband and I have not. And there is nothing I can do about it—I cannot protest because they never say it, so they rob me of the chance to say I do not care. But it is exceedingly frustrating because I know precisely what they are thinking.’
Kitty took Charis’s hand. ‘Well, in my opinion, it is you who are the fortunate one. In her debut Season a young girl’s head and heart should be filled with fun and frivolity, fashion and furbelows, dancing and dashing young men. There is plenty of time to find a husband.’
‘But you married Papa when you were my age, Stepmama. And you never even had a Season.’
Adam once again hovered at the edges of Kitty’s mind and she banished him with a silent growl of irritation.
‘That is true. But my circumstances were very different from yours. And I never once regretted our marriage. How could I, when without it I would not have you and your brothers and sister?’
And even though I did not have the baby I so craved.
The sudden thickening of her throat and the sting in her eyes surprised her, for she had long ago accepted her childless state. Why did that thought upset her now? Then Adam’s face materialised in her mind’s eye and she scrambled to make sense of the connection until Lady Datchworth’s words from last night, barely noticed at the time, echoed through her head: I was intent upon helping poor Kelridge here with his marriage plans.
But...that was just Lady Datchworth on one of her matchmaking quests. Was it not? Why should that trigger...? Oh! Her Ladyship’s voice continued in Kitty’s memory. ‘You have a title and a fortune, and you need an heir. Of course you must wed—it is your obligation as a peer of the realm.’
And the thought of Adam marrying...of him siring an heir...caused that tell-tale prickling behind her eyes once again and fear wrapped around Kitty’s heart. Adam had reappeared in her life just over a fortnight ago and already, it seemed, he had begun to break through the barriers she had built around herself.
‘And without it, we would not have you!’ Charis hugged Kitty and kissed her cheek. ‘Now please say we may go
to the Change.’
Kitty forced her thoughts away from Adam. ‘Very well. But you knew I would give way right from the start, didn’t you?’
Charis kissed Kitty again. ‘You usually do. Thank you.’
* * *
Two hours later, Kitty gloomily contemplated the elephant on the upper floor of the Exeter Exchange, marvelling at the sheer size of the beast, at his eyes—disproportionately tiny—and his huge ears as they flapped back and forth. His name, so a passing keeper had informed her on their first visit, was Chunee and he fanned his ears in order to cool himself down as his native land was India where the temperatures were very hot. As she turned from her study of Chunee—secretly agreeing with Charis that it seemed wrong to keep such an animal confined on its own in a small enclosure—she collided with a solid wall of male muscle.
‘Oh! I beg your pardon.’
‘Dinna fash yersel’, lass. There’s nae harm done.’
Kitty’s head snapped up. Adam grinned down at her as he tipped his beaver hat and her heart leapt with what she feared was joy. She did not wish to feel like that at the mere sight of him. She gritted her teeth, battling both that visceral response and the near-overwhelming urge to reach out and touch him—his hand...his sleeve...it mattered not which part of him, it was simply a primal need to make physical contact. She curled her hands into fists at her sides, reminding herself that men could not be trusted and that Adam would only let her down, as he had before. As her father had.
‘What are you doing here?’ The war in her breast made her snappish.
His brows rose. ‘I have come to view the animals. As have you, nae doubt.’ His nose wrinkled. ‘I confess I hadna anticipated the smell...it is a wee bit on the strong side, is it not?’
He held her gaze for a few minutes as Kitty scrambled for something to say, for normal conversation between two acquaintances. He managed it effortlessly. Why was it so difficult for her?
The Earl with the Secret Past Page 8