‘But you are here now, of course. That is the greatest difference. And had our work lasted a mere couple of weeks longer, I should have known all about your marriage. It must have been hastily arranged, for I never heard even a whisper of His Lordship’s plan to remarry during my time here.’
Adam fought back that old sense of betrayal that still simmered, driven by his uncertainty over her feelings, and despite his newly acknowledged feelings for her. If he continued to prod Kitty in an attempt to learn what she was truly thinking, she would never tell him the truth of what happened and, until she did, they would keep wandering in circles, stuck in the same fog of suspicion that had enveloped them since their meeting in London.
It was possible he had jumped to conclusions about the reason for Kitty’s hasty marriage exactly as he had done with his mother and the reasons for her leaving his father. He was still determined to uncover the truth—if it was anyone but Kitty he would suspect she’d been with child, but he knew the marriage was not for that reason. It must have been because of her father.
‘Kitty... Catherine...please, might we talk about what happened? We both have questions—’
‘You are mistaken. I have no questions. You were very clear at the time and I accepted your decision long ago.’
‘But—’
Adam bit back his protest as the door opened and Robert strolled in, looking from one to the other of them with a quizzical expression.
‘I beg your pardon. Am I interrupting something?’
Kitty’s chin lifted. ‘Not at all, Robert. We were talking about the speed of my marriage to your papa. I was about to explain the reason for that to Lord Kelridge.’ She switched her gaze to Adam. ‘We met quite by chance and fell in love. There was no need to wait.’
The pain, sudden and sharp, stole his breath, but he caught a flash of guilt in those grey eyes of hers.
She was lying. She must be lying.
But he could not challenge her with Robert there. He must have patience. He would get his chance to coax the truth from her.
‘Dinner is served, my lord.’
The butler, Vincent, stood at the open door, his announcement saving Adam from any further response.
* * *
The conversation between Adam and Robert flowed easily over dinner, with Kitty joining in only when applied to for her opinion. As soon as they finished eating, she rose to her feet and the men followed suit.
‘I shall withdraw and leave you gentlemen to your port and your plans.’
‘We shan’t be long, Stepmama. You will still be in the drawing room when we’ve finished? Will you play for us?’
Adam was unsurprised when she shook her head.
‘I regret I have the headache, Rob. If you do not object, I should prefer to retire early.’
‘Then an early night is the best remedy.’
‘Goodnight to you both. I apologise for abandoning you on your first evening here, my lord.’
‘I hope your headache is speedily relieved, my lady.’
‘It is little wonder she has the headache,’ Robert said to Adam as Kitty left the room. ‘That woman would try the patient of a saint.’
‘I...? Lady Fenton? But...?’
‘Good Lord, no! I didn’t mean my stepmother! She is a diamond!’
He paused as the butler came in with a bottle of port and poured two glasses. ‘Thank you, Vincent.’
As soon as Adam and Robert were alone again, Robert continued, ‘My comment was aimed at Lady Datchworth. Do you remember I told you my stepmother had visited her today?’
Adam grinned. ‘Of course. And now I understand your cryptic comment. Lady D. in full sail could give anyone the headache. I experienced my share of that when in London, as ye know. But, still, I could not help but like her despite her inclination for matchmaking.’
Adam found himself the target of a searching look.
‘Speaking of which, my stepmother is convinced Her Ladyship has earmarked you and my sister Charis as a likely match.’ Robert’s expression remained neutral.
‘By no encouragement from me, Rob. Charis is a lovely girl, but much too young for my taste.’
Robert visibly relaxed. ‘I am relieved to hear that. Lady Datchworth is convinced of her own shrewdness in matching couples and yet, to my knowledge, she has never yet met with success.’
‘I shall be on my guard, but ye need have no fear, Rob—Charis is perfectly safe from me. Now, tell me your plans for this new wing.’
* * *
Adam spent most of the following day inspecting the Hall from top to bottom and taking measurements, paying particular attention to the wing Sir Angus had designed following that devastating fire. Robert assisted him with the measuring and they had a lively discussion about his requirements for the new wing, but once they were done Robert headed out on estate business, leaving Adam in the library, where he had been provided with a desk and a table to work on as he drew up the plans.
Of Kitty there had been no sign all day and, although he resolutely blocked her from his mind as he worked in the quiet of the afternoon, she hovered around the edges as a nagging presence, ready to pounce whenever his concentration wavered. Her announcement that she and the late Lord Fenton had fallen in love so swiftly still did not ring true and Adam was more determined than ever to discover the real reason behind their hasty marriage.
He found it liberating to lose himself in what he still thought of as his ‘real life’—his occupation. And it was a relief to be away from Kelridge Place, even though he was aware his time would be better spent in establishing his position as master. It was good to feel he could breathe easily for the first time since coming down from London and so, as he settled down to the business of planning the new wing, not only did he block Kitty from his thoughts, but he also pushed aside his unease over Kelridge Place.
* * *
By mid-afternoon, however, his head felt stuffed full of wool. The weather had turned hot and humid, begging for the release of a thunderstorm to clear the air. Adam had already opened wide all the French doors that led outside on to the flagged terrace that wrapped around this wing of the house—the wing Sir Angus had designed—but there was little relief to be had and he had resorted to removing his jacket, discarding his neckcloth and working in his shirt sleeves and unbuttoned waistcoat.
Finally, craving the relief of a breath of fresh air, he pushed his damp hair off his forehead, laid down his pen and packed his instruments away before striding for the nearest open French door.
‘Oh!’
He’d stepped outside without looking, only to collide with someone walking along the terrace. He reacted fast, his hands wrapping around Kitty’s bare upper arms, even before he realised whom he had sent staggering backwards. He hauled her upright, her scent of warm woman mingling with that of the mass of blooms she carried as it coiled through his senses.
‘Take care! You are crushing my flowers.’
Adam released her. The tingling caused by the satiny softness of her warm skin against his palms only registered with him when it ceased. He rubbed his palms against his breeches, conscious he had left his jacket hanging over the back of his chair and that his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Their eyes locked—hers widening and darkening as a flush bloomed on her cheeks and her lips parted, giving every impression of a woman aroused. Adam’s blood surged to his groin. Dare he hope she was mellowing towards him? Could they both let the past go? The tight knot that had lodged in his gut on arrival loosened a little.
‘Rather a few crushed blooms than allow you to fall.’
She smiled and it appeared a more genuine smile than the strained efforts of last evening.
‘That is true. I spoke out of turn. A few mangled flowers are as nothing compared to a bruised—’ She bit her lip. ‘That is, compared to a bruising tumble.’
Adam laughed. ‘Indeed. I shall take especial care another time I exit the library. May I carry those for you?’
Her smile faltered. ‘There is no need... I...that is...thank you.’ She relinquished the flowers and indicated the open door. ‘We may as well go through the library—I had intended to walk around to the back door to save disturbing you.’
She sent him an inscrutable look from beneath the sweep of her lashes. His gaze lowered to her lips as they parted and sparks of desire sizzled through him.
‘You are our guest and I understand you have refused any payment from Robert for your services. While you are under this roof you may expect your comfort to be our highest priority.’
The perfect society hostess had returned and those sparks fizzled out. In his short time in this world, Adam had learned Kitty was renowned in the ton for her graciousness, her propriety and her charm. That knot tightened once more as they walked side by side through the library and the familiar uncertainty washed through him. He simply didn’t know how to deal with this guarded woman who so rarely revealed any hint of her true thoughts or, more importantly, her true feelings.
‘There is a storeroom near the kitchens where I dry herbs and mix remedies and salves, and that I also use for arranging flowers,’ Kitty continued as she led the way. ‘Are you making progress with the plans? I dare say they will not take long to complete.’
Is that a polite way of enquiring how long I shall stay?
‘I haven’t begun drawing them yet... I am sketching out a few ideas first and will get Robert’s opinion before settling on a final layout. This will be a major investment for him and he needs to be aware of the options available before committing himself.’ Her thoughtful expression prompted him to add, ‘Do you have any preferences as to what is included?’
‘Me? Oh, good heavens, no. This is Robert’s home and, when he weds, I shall remove to the Dower House.’
‘You will find that lonely after being a part of a family for so long.’
‘I shan’t be lonely. It is on the edge of the village, so there are neighbours all around. And I shall make it my business to pay regular, lengthy visits to all my stepchildren whether they invite me to stay or not.’
Her grey eyes twinkled as she looked straight ahead, her mind presumably on her family. Clearly there was a great deal of respect and love between them. She paused at a door and opened it.
‘If you would kindly put the flowers in that bucket, sir—’
‘Adam,’ he said.
She was half-turned away from him and, to all intents and purposes, she did not react. But he caught the slight twitch in her jaw that suggested she had clenched it. He sucked in a deep breath, sensing now might be the time to broach the subject of the past and to hear Kitty’s side of the story.
‘We cannot ignore the fact we once knew one another,’ he said. ‘We were close. We called one another by name. I still think of you in my head as Kitty—’
‘Catherine!’ She pivoted to face him. ‘In this family I have always been Catherine. Even my f-father always called me Catherine. I was only ever Kitty to you.’
‘Well then. Catherine.’ He frowned. Her voice had definitely hitched when she spoke of her father. ‘I was sorry to learn of your father’s death.’
‘Spare me your condolences. I did not mourn his death—we were estranged long before he died.’
‘Ah.’
Her expression suggested reluctance to continue the discussion and Adam recalled her long-ago reticence if he asked about her father or her home life. He did know her mother had died when she was a young child and now he also remembered the late Lord Fenton’s dislike of his neighbour.
Kitty clasped her hands in front of her and faced Adam, with the look of a woman facing an ordeal. ‘He disapproved of my marriage to Edgar.’
‘Yet he must have given his consent for ye to wed Edgar.’
‘He withheld his permission at first. But Edgar paid him handsomely and he was persuaded to grant his consent.’
‘He paid him? That is an odd turn of phrase. What do ye mean?’
She turned abruptly and paced to the window where she stood gazing out, her arms wrapped around her waist. Adam took a step towards her, frowning as he realised she was trembling. He dropped the flowers into the bucket she’d indicated and followed her.
‘What is it? You never would talk of your father and the subject obviously upsets you even now.’
Adam had always put her reluctance to talk about her father down to family loyalty, as well as to a daughter’s natural wariness of a strict parent and the fear he might uncover their secret trysts.
He stood close enough behind her to feel the warmth radiating from her skin. Her scent weaved through his senses, and his blood quickened. Her hair was caught up with combs and pins, leaving short wisps curling at her hairline, from nape to ears. How he longed to press his lips to that sweet spot on the side of her neck where he could see her pulse thrumming in time with his.
She still hadn’t answered him and his anger stirred at her silence.
‘Well? What is it ye never told me about your father? Was he the reason ye were so determined to leave Whitlock Manor? And when I refused to help ye ruin yourself ye found yourself a convenient substitute! And do not tell me it was for love, for I didna believe ye last night and I shall not believe ye now.’
She spun around, her eyes flashing with fury. ‘That is unfair. You do not know...’ She shook her head before sucking in a deep breath. ‘No. I am sorry. You are right and this is my fault for not telling you the truth when you first asked why I married Edgar so soon after you left.’
* * *
Adam listened, horrified, as Kitty told him of her father’s plan to sell her hand in marriage in order to clear his gambling debts. He took her hand as she carried on with her tale.
‘My father was still in London when you left and I continued to walk in the woods, dreading his return. I could see no way out of my dilemma. Then Edgar came upon me one day and saw my distress. Somehow, I ended up telling him about my father. As soon as my father returned, Edgar called upon him and offered to pay off his debts in return for my hand in marriage. We married by special licence...neither of us wanted a fuss. And we were happy,’ she added, in a defiant voice.
His heart ached for her.
‘If only I had known,’ he said, reaching for her other hand. ‘When we met again...when I found out how quickly you had married Lord Fenton...it made me so angry I couldna think straight. All I could see was your betrayal. I thought ye had lied about your feelings for me at first, but I did then wonder if I had been over-hasty.’ He drew her closer, into his arms. ‘I wish ye had told me the truth about your father, sweetheart.’
For a few glorious heartbeats Kitty melted into his embrace but, all too soon, she stiffened, jerking out of his reach with something very like fear in her eyes.
‘Do not call me that. I have told you the truth because you deserve to know and I want your pity now even less than I wanted it then. I might have been young, but I did have some pride. And... I thought you felt the same for me as I did for you.’
Her chin tilted defiantly as she faced Adam.
‘Thank you for your assistance, Lord Kelridge. Now, if you will excuse me, I have domestic matters to attend to.’
She stalked past him.
‘Kitty...’
But she was gone.
Adam swept a hand through his hair, cursing himself for his clumsy assumption—or was it wishful thinking?—that her confession would smoothly lead to a rekindling of tender feelings between them. He cursed himself also for being all kinds of an idiot as he thought about the story she had just revealed—her fear of her father’s despicable plan and her desperation to get away. And what had he done to that scared, lonely girl? He, who had professed his love for her so many times, had broken her heart. And her
trust.
He stared at the open doorway through which Kitty had vanished. They would have to talk again, but maybe not just yet.
He needed that fresh air more than ever. He headed out for a walk in the gardens.
Chapter Twelve
Kitty rushed from the house, hurrying through the gardens and into the meadow beyond before she slowed her pace. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she caught her breath, memories flooding her thoughts—her father and his selfishness, and his disappointment that his only child was a girl; Edgar and his gentle fault-finding, leaving her convinced of her uselessness both as a wife and as a woman when she failed to get with child; Adam, the man she had loved with her entire being and the man who had lied about his love for her. The man who had broken her heart.
She had felt herself weaken when he’d pulled her into his arms. For a scant few moments she had thrust all doubts aside and relished the novelty of being held. But, all too soon, those memories had burst into her head, reminding her of her worthlessness and reviving her fear of getting hurt again. The fear of being let down. And she had run away.
Dear God, what must he think of me?
He would be their guest at the Hall for a week... She could not avoid him, or Robert would surely notice and Kitty could not bear the humiliation of her stepson finding out what had happened between her and Adam. Plus, for all that Adam’s lies still hurt, Kitty now accepted he had acted in both of their best interests by refusing to take her away with him. The strains would soon have killed off any tender feelings had he succumbed to her entreaties.
She walked on, her mind buzzing as she fanned her face with her hand. Goodness, it was hot. The chip straw hat she usually wore in the garden was still on her head, but she’d not had time to even think about fetching a parasol or a fan. The bodice of her gown was closely fitted with a high neckline, but there were buttons down the front of it and she unfastened the top two to allow a little more air to reach her skin. The woodland at the bottom of the meadow beckoned, with the promise of shade from the sun, although...she scanned the sky...clouds were massing on the horizon, promising a break in the weather and a welcome shower. She ought not to go too far.
The Earl with the Secret Past Page 13