by Abbey North
“Yes, Mr. Darcy.” The man was still sniveling and trembling, but he seemed to be properly cowed.
Apparently, Darcy couldn’t stand more interaction with him, because he turned and walked away. Lizzy planned to return to the rectory, but as she started to do so, his hand clamped around her wrist, and he said, “Walk with me.” There was a commanding note in his voice that was difficult to resist, and Lizzy was disconcerted to realize she didn’t want to.
Telling herself she simply wanted to have a postmortem discussion about the confrontation with Mr. Collins, to ensure they hadn’t overlooked anything, she fell into step with him. Yes, this was strictly about the extortion business and nothing else.
They walked a while before he spoke, and she realized they were far away from the rectory, and not close to Lady Catherine’s home either. It was just the two of them, and they were virtually alone, though they were in an exposed field. She felt no alarm for that. “You handled him masterfully, Mr. Darcy.” She couldn’t keep the admiration from her tone.
He looked at her in surprise, his gaze narrowing. “I confess, I am expecting you to follow that with something to thoroughly diminish me.”
She grinned. “In this case, I have nothing to criticize. I had a plan, and though I think my threats might’ve held some weight with him, I fear if he got greedy enough or wanted something badly enough, he would still give in to his baser urges, assuming either I would not follow through with my threats, or gossip about him being a blackmailer would die down before he took over Longbourn. I concede you having more power over him and the situation is quite useful, and I thank you for your interference.”
He snorted. “There is the insult I was expecting. I am pleased you appreciate me inserting myself into your investigation,” he said with only a faint hint of mocking. “I do have more leverage over the man.”
“Did you mean it?” asked Lizzy hesitantly.
He frowned. “Mean what?”
“When you told Mr. Collins you would support Miss Anne if she decides to go public with her relationship with Carlos? Were you just telling him that to intimidate him, or did you mean it?”
He scowled. “Of course, I meant it. I do not say things I do not mean, Miss Bennet.”
She was bereft that he was back to using Miss Bennet instead of Lizzy for reasons she couldn’t explain. It had been a momentary lapse of propriety, likely engendered by their cooperation to find the blackmailer, but she wished they could maintain that level of informality, which disconcerted her.
“I know you have no plans to marry her, but I wanted to be sure you would still truly support her. It is a scandalous thought, and I can imagine Society will revile her for a long time to come if she marries her groom.”
He nodded, his lips pursing in disapproval. “Society is quick to make judgments, but they do not always understand the reasons behind someone making the choices they do.”
“Is that why you are marrying Miss Bingley?” asked Lizzy with audacity she hadn’t known she had. It should’ve been a verboten topic, but she couldn’t deny she was curious about his reasons. Only curious, of course. She felt nothing else, but she couldn’t imagine why he had chosen to ask for Caroline Bingley. She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would make him happy long-term
He scowled at her. “Where did you get the impression I am about to marry Caroline Bingley?”
Lizzy put her hands on her hips as she frowned up at him. “You said it yourself at the Netherfield ball.”
His eyebrow attempted to recede into his hairline. “I did?” He sounded shocked. “I am certain I would remember that conversation, Miss Bennet. You must have misunderstood.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but she as reviewed their conversation, she realized he’d never blatantly stated he was marrying Caroline Bingley. That was simply the impression she’d gotten from his words. “Perhaps I did. Does that mean you are not becoming betrothed to Miss Bingley?”
He appeared to try to hide it, but he couldn’t completely stifle the shudder that went through him. “I would rather marry Anne than Miss Bingley, and Anne is like a sister to me. No, I most emphatically am not about to offer for Miss Bingley, nor will I ever be. That would be to her pleasure, but to my displeasure.”
Lizzy nodded, unable to explain the relief sweeping through her, and then attributing it only to that she hadn’t kissed a man who was about to be engaged. That would’ve been an unforgivable action.
“I confess, my thoughts have turned to matrimony of late,” said Darcy unexpectedly.
Lizzy cocked her head slightly, her stomach clenching at the words. She had no right to be bothered by the fact Mr. Darcy was contemplating marriage. Of course, he was. A man like him must be in want of a wife, and she would likely be a paragon of virtue and the pinnacle of Society. “I suppose it is time for you to consider the matter, being six-and-twenty.”
He nodded absently. “There are men in my family who have married much later, so it is not a matter of age. Rather, it is a matter of finding someone with whom I have a mutual accord. I believe I have found such a person.”
Lizzy frowned, wishing she could excuse herself from the conversation. Deciding she could, she said, “I must return to the rectory now, but thank you for your help, Mr. Darcy. Will you relay the news to Anne, or shall I?”
“Perhaps you could write her a vague letter, but I will speak with her more directly.”
She nodded and took a step back. “That sounds like a good plan. I shall see you later.”
“Lizzy,” he said softly.
She froze before slowly turning back to face him. “Yes, Mr. Darcy?” She was a stickler for using his last name, though part of her wanted to yield and use Fitzwilliam. She wanted to hear how it sounded on her tongue just once when uttered in an intimate fashion, though she had no right to do so. After all, he was talking about getting married to someone, and he obviously had a candidate in mind.
“You must allow me to confess my ardent affection for you, Lizzy. I understand your family is a terrible burden, and your mother in particular is a trial, but I am prepared to stand fast against that. I will weather the gossip that comes from lowering my standards and station to marry someone with your status. While you lack certain accomplishments, and I suspect it might be a difficult adjustment for you to go from Longbourn to the Mistress of Pemberley, I will be patient as I guide you through it. You have enough to recommend you that I am able to overlook your flaws. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Lizzy stared at him, mouth open, and utterly aghast. “You are asking me to marry you?”
He nodded at her, looking like a benevolent god bestowing a favor on an acolyte.
It took everything she had not to laugh. She was afraid if she did, she would either dissolve into screaming, or she might start crying. “No, thank you, Mr. Darcy.”
He frowned. “You are refusing?”
She licked her lips. “I must.”
He reached out a hand as though to touch her before dropping it at his side. “I appreciate you trying to be noble, but do not deny yourself this opportunity. I am willingly lowering myself, and I do not expect you to reject me to try to save me. I genuinely wish to take you as my wife.”
“I cannot imagine why with all my shortcomings, Mr. Darcy. How is it you are able to overlook them all?” she asked too sweetly.
Either he was too self-absorbed in general, or just oblivious at the moment, because he seemed to take her question at face value. “I admit, there are many things that detract, but I have come to admire a great many other qualities about you, Lizzy. You have a quick and lively mind, and I am certain we shall not grow bored with each other. It is an important ingredient for a successful marriage. There is clear passion between us, as I am sure you must concede after the kiss we shared.”
She grudgingly nodded, unable to deny that.
“You have a good nature, and you are quick to defend those weaker than you. These are all admirable tr
aits, and I feel I can overcome any of the negatives to accentuate your positives. “
“Most gracious of you,” she said dryly. “I must still decline.”
He looked thunderstruck, and his brows gradually drew together as his shock turned to a frown. “Is that the only reply I am to receive, or will you explain why?”
“It is the politest one I can give you, Mr. Darcy,” she said coolly.
He took a step closer. “Dispense with politeness and be honest. Why will you not accept my offer?”
“How could I when you have made it so grudgingly, and with such clear reluctance? Perhaps you do love me, but it is something that is causing you great pain. I have no doubt it will pass soon enough, like a bout of indigestion. I could never burden you with all my negatives, Mr. Darcy, for I deserve better.”
His eyes widened, and his lips tightened. “You deserve better than me?”
“Indeed, I do. I deserve a man who treats me as an equal and does not weigh my assets against my losses to determine if I am worth the effort to love. Furthermore, I could never marry a man who would deliberately meddle in the relationship between my sister and the man she loves. You would break my heart as surely as you break my sister’s if I compromised myself to lower my standards to do so. You are too proud and cold for me, and I suspect this is an aberration from which you will soon recover.”
“I am exactly the man I was raised to be. I have standards that are rigorous, and I take pride in that. You make it sound like a flaw.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “It does seem like a flaw when amplified through you, Mr. Darcy. I have no doubt you can be quite a decent human being, but I am not the woman to bring out that side of you. That much is obvious. You stand too much in the way of happiness for others for me to ever contemplate being happy with you. So again, I thank you for your proposal, but I fervently decline.”
He nodded stiffly at her. “In that case, I shall bid you good day.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Darcy.”
He nodded at her once more but didn’t reciprocate as he stormed across the field, heading toward Rosings Park. After a moment, Lizzy turned in the direction of the rectory to make her way back. There was a heavy ache in her chest she couldn’t explain, though she might’ve labeled it at least a bruised heart.
Part of her had affection for Mr. Darcy, at least the gentler sides she’d seen at various moments, but there was still too much of the prideful aristocrat in him for her to ever seriously contemplate the idea of marriage to the man. If she gave in to the impulse, they would both be sorry. Inevitably, he would quickly come to his senses and realize the mistake he had made, and he would be trapped in a miserable marriage.
She had no doubt she would be miserable as well, because he would always be seeking to change her into something she wasn’t, and he would never relent on his disapproval of Jane and Mr. Bingley’s relationship. As long as he was determined to thwart her sister’s heart, Lizzy could not risk entrusting her own to him.
She returned to the rectory a short time later and found Charlotte in the sitting room. She did her best to clear her thoughts as she sat down with her friend. “I thought you were going to take a nap?”
Charlotte nodded. “I planned to, but Mr. Collins came in and looked quite upset. He said he was feeling ill, so I allowed him the bedroom to lie down. You look like you are also feeling unwell, Lizzy. You did not eat any of the fish Maria had, did you?”
Lizzy burst into laughter, though it had a slightly hysterical edge. “I am not sick from fish, but from unwanted love.”
Charlotte frowned as she came to sit beside her. “I do not understand.”
Amid her bitter laughter, Lizzy managed to convey the gist of Mr. Darcy’s proposal. “Can you imagine?” she finished moments later. “It was so insulting, and then he seemed shocked I was not eager to accept.”
Charlotte, with a tender heart like Jane, seemed more appalled than amused. “What a wretched proposal. The man lacks social graces, and that is inexcusable.”
Lizzy laughed again. “You must admit it is funny.”
Charlotte’s lips pursed in disapproval. “I do not think so. I find it tragic.”
Lizzy frowned. “How so?”
“The man clearly loves you, but he bungled all attempts to relay the strength of his emotions. Surely, he must be deriding himself even now for how poorly he worded his offer. Perhaps he will make another attempt, and you will find it more pleasing.”
“How can I find it pleasing when I know the man, and how he is? He deliberately stands between Jane and Mr. Bingley, and he loves me with utmost reluctance. Can you imagine the next proposal? He is likely to try to bribe me with a trinket or point out all the financial benefits for marrying a man like him. He would never approach me in a straight and honest fashion, speaking of emotion on a level we both share.” Lizzy started to giggle again as she imagined the next proposal he might utter, building it up to be utterly ridiculous in her mind until she was practically hysterical with laughter.
Charlotte looked disapproving, but she didn’t try to stop her. She didn’t seem at all surprised when Lizzy’s laughter suddenly turned to tears as she started sobbing. Instead, Charlotte took her into her arms and held her without judgment. Lizzy appreciated the comfort of her friend’s embrace as she cried tears she wasn’t entirely sure why she was shedding. Or perhaps she knew, but she didn’t want to look closer and discover for certain.
9
Darcy returned to Rosings Park in a fit of anger, taking only a few moments to dispatch a note for Lady Catherine, and then another for his cousin to assure her the situation was handled. After that, he tasked his valet with packing his things, and he was in the process of leaving his room when Richard came in.
“What is all this?” asked his cousin.
He spared a brief glance for the colonel. “I am departing for London. I find I can no longer stay at Rosings Park. I have lost all stomach for the task, and duty be hanged.”
Richard looked sympathetic. “I did notice Aunt Catherine was rather forcefully pushing the idea of you formally offering for Anne this time. I am sorry, old chap. It must be quite vexing.”
Darcy was content to let him think that was the reason he was leaving. He had no interest in sharing his humiliation or revealing how disdainful Elizabeth Bennet had been when he asked to marry her. He still burned with outrage at the gall of her reaction.
She had laughed at him, insulted him, and implied he was beneath her. The very nerve of the woman. What could he possibly see in her, and how had he convinced himself he wanted to marry her? It was baffling now that he thought about it. He must’ve simply given in to a moment of insanity, and he should thank her instead of being angry. After all, she’d saved him from himself, but she had done it in a cold and condescending fashion that still chafed him.
“You are off to London?”
“I am. The season will soon be underway, and Georgiana plans to join me there. I do hope I shall see you in London.”
“I have some leave coming around Christmas, so perhaps I can get away to join you then. I must return to my regiment after my visit here at Rosings Park.” Richard came forward and gave him a hug. “Until we meet again, Darcy.”
“Until then, Fitzie.” Darcy intended to be a different version of himself then. He was determined to eradicate this irrational love for Elizabeth Bennet. She clearly had no use for it and had rejected it soundly, so it was in his best interest to make sure he carved it out and thoroughly excised any remnants of it.
He was unlikely to see her in London, and once he returned to Pemberley, he would have no reason to visit her area of the country again. If Bingley stood fast, he would let go of his tenancy at the end of his lease, and they could both set the chapter of the Bennet girls behind them, writing it off as deplorable mistakes they had nearly made, and consoling themselves at some point in the future for their lucky escape.
Yes, he should be grateful for Lizzy having a clearer head than
he had. Clinging to that, he departed Rosings Park less than an hour later, having slipped out without needing to confront Lady Catherine, and he didn’t see Lizzy again. As his carriage took him past the rectory at Hunsford Park, he determinedly kept his eyes focused ahead, refusing to glance and hope for even a glimpse of her. If he never saw Miss Bennet again, that would be for the best.
This is the third book in a five-part series that needs to be read in order, just like Jane Austen’s masterpiece.
If you missed books #1 and #2, you can get “Rapacity & Rancor” or “Abduction & Acrimony” at Amazon.
Look for Book #4 of the Crime & Courtship series, “Murder & Misjudgment,” coming soon.
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About the Author
Abbey is a diehard Jane Austen fan and has loved Fitzwilliam since the first time she “met” him at age thirteen upon borrowing the book from the school library. He is the ideal man, though Abbey’s husband is a close second. Abbey enjoys writing various steamy and sweet Jane Austen variations, but “Pride & Prejudice” (and Mr. Darcy) will always be her favorite.