by Ali Parker
“It’s not that simple, Caleb,” Kelly said, her eyes growing moist and her hands clenched around her knees, but she couldn’t hide that they were shaking.
Everything about this talk was setting me on edge. There was something going on here that had Kelly pulling back from me, something that she was obviously afraid to tell me. My own hands started shaking a bit as I considered the possibilities.
“Why isn’t it that simple? We were happy together. We were good for each other. Weren’t we? Did I do something to scare you away? Is it my life in the band?” Surely, it couldn’t be that. Not again. Kelly met me in Destitute. She was in the industry. She’d known exactly who I was.
Kelly’s eyes flew open as she watched me react, her hands dropping from her knees as she reached for me. Then she dropped them when she saw I wasn’t moving. Pain was seeping through every pore, like that old wound had been slashed wide open.
But she didn’t deny it. Kelly didn’t jump up and run to me. She didn’t tell me that it wasn’t that. Fuck, it was. She couldn’t deal with it either. Buzzing started in my ears, and I turned to leave, feeling defeated for the first time ever.
I was a fucking fool to have believed things could end any differently. All I wanted was—
“Don’t leave, Caleb, please. Don’t leave.” She implored me, but I couldn’t turn around. Couldn’t look at her. I needed to get out of here. My fingers were itching for the comfort of my guitar. I needed to tear things up for a while. A long fucking while.
“It’s okay, I get it.” I bit out, reaching for the door. “Goodbye, Kelly.”
Before I could open it, I heard her take a deep breath, so deep I could hear it over the buzzing in my ears.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out then. My world went still. The buzzing ceased, and my hand fell to my side.
Air wouldn’t reach my lungs. My whole body going as still as the world around me had gone. For the first time in my life, I was completely and utterly stunned into silence. I tried to search for words. There were things that I should’ve been saying, questions I should’ve asked, but I couldn’t find the words.
I was still starting at the door, still inches away from it when Kelly started rambling. “I promise you I wasn’t lying. I really am on birth control. Or I was. I stopped taking it a couple of days ago. But until then, I took it religiously, every day. At the exact same time. I promise. This wasn’t a trick. I wasn’t trying to catch you or keep you. I didn’t lie to you.”
Her voice cracked with emotion, and when I finally managed to turn toward her, I saw that tears were streaming down her face, her shoulders were slumped, and her eyes were trained on the carpet in front of the bed. Chest expanding on another deep breath, she still didn’t look at me as she continued.
“I wanted to tell you. I’ve only known for a couple of days, but I was scared of how you would react if I told you that you were going to be a father. You looked so happy. I couldn’t take that away from you.”
Those last words broke through the shock. Kelly was pregnant with my child, and she thought I wouldn’t be happy? That she was taking something away from me?
My feet carried me to her without my brain having to send the signal to do it. I crossed the room in a couple of strides and pulled her into my arms. Her legs wrapped around my hips as she burrowed her face into my neck. Warm tears rolled onto my skin, and her chest heaved on a sob.
I sat down on the bed with her in my lap, stroking her hair and her back as I tried to find the words that were tumbling around in my skull, escaping as soon as I reached them. I tightened my hold on her and breathed her in.
“I’m going to be a father,” I muttered, to myself as much as to her. A balloon opened in my chest, my heart suddenly released from the vise it’d been in since I thought she wanted to leave me because of my lifestyle. It now felt like it wanted to soar.
“I can’t believe it. Kelly…” I trailed off, still trying to find the right words. “Thank you. I’m going to be a dad. You’re not taking away my happiness. You’re giving me more than you can possibly even imagine.”
Kelly stilled in my arms, pulling away from me to look into my eyes. Her face was beautiful, tear stained and incredulous, but she was the most stunning woman I’d ever seen. Her expression changed as she held my eyes with hers, looking at me like I was crazy.
“But you don’t want kids,” she whispered, confusion furrowing her brow.
My lips curled into a wide smile, my hands gripping her hips. “That was before. God, I can’t believe all that shit I said to you. You should’ve stopped me, told me.”
“But you said you’d be a terrible father and that you didn’t want children for a long time.”
I wanted to punch myself in the face for having said those things to her.
How had I not put it together before? I’d replayed our conversation in my head so many times, yet I’d completely missed that her demeanor had changed immediately as soon as I started spewing that crap Elizabeth planted in my head about how I would never be able to be the father she wanted for her kids.
I pressed a kiss to Kelly’s forehead. Everything was so clear in retrospect. “This is different, Kelly. I’m going to be a father with the woman I’ve fallen in love with. This is different, so different.”
“What did you just say?” She held her breath. Wide eyes burned into mine, tiny clouds of hope drifting in to them.
“This is different?” I repeated, narrowing my eyes as my brows pinched together.
Kelly smiled, a ghost of her usual wide and happy smile, but it was there all the same. She punched my shoulder lightly. “Not that.”
“Oh.” I allowed the full-scale grin that wanted out to break free. “You mean the part where I’m in love with you?”
“That’s the one.” Her answering smile was wider and more radiant than any I’d ever seen. “I love you too.”
For the second time that night, everything in me stilled. My world, so out of whack for such a long time, seemed to click into place. This girl, this amazing woman, loved me. And she was carrying my child.
I couldn’t believe my luck. Kelly bent her head closer to me, bumping her nose to mine. Lifting my lips, I wrapped one hand around her neck and the other arm around her waist to pull her as close to me as she could get, never breaking eye contact with her. “I love you, Kelly Diamond.”
Without waiting for an answer, I slammed my lips to hers.
Chapter 28
Kelly
Caleb’s kisses were hungry and insistent, almost animalistic in their need. I responded as fiercely, relishing every swipe of his tongue and nip of his teeth. He kissed me until I was panting and aching, and he was so hard against me that I briefly wondered if he’d shoved a book or a rock or something in there.
Any thoughts I was having didn’t last long. He kissed them all away, holding me close to him and tightening his hold almost possessively the longer we kept going. He laid back on the bed and brought me down with him so that my body was covering his.
I ground into him, my hips rolling against his as we kissed. He drove me mad with desire for him, his hands skimming my sides, but not touching me until I was ready to beg for it. Sitting up so I was straddling him, I tugged my own shirt over my head and stared down into his eyes, wondering why he hadn’t made the move.
As if he could read my mind, he kept his gaze on mine, even though I could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes from dipping to my chest. I hadn’t been wearing a bra when he’d arrived since I’d been lounging around by myself in my room.
The last person I’d expected to arrive at my door was Caleb. When he did, I’d scrambled to get rid of the pregnancy magazines Alicia had brought up, and since I hadn’t been wearing pants either, those seemed more important to put on while he waited outside the door than my bra.
It hurt my breasts anyway. Apparently, the tenderness would dissipate a little with time, then come back even worse when my milk started coming in.
; Oh, the things I had to look forward to.
“You okay?” Caleb asked. I flushed. I couldn’t believe I was straddling him thinking about how sore my boobs were supposed to become when my milk came in.
All I needed was the reminder though, and my arousal came crashing into me with the force of at least two tsunamis. I was aching for him, desperate to feel him slide inside me and hopefully have him stay there for a while.
“I’m fine. Sorry. I was just wondering why I’m taking my own clothes off?”
Caleb looked taken aback for a split second and then recovered with a smirk and low groan. Before I knew what was happening, he’d flipped us over and was rolling my stretchy pants down my legs. My panties followed, and when they were both at my ankles, he yanked them over my bare feet and dropped them to the floor.
“Better?” he asked, heat spreading through me as his eyes drank in every inch of me. He was sitting between my legs. Spread open so there would be space for him, I was completely on display. I was self-conscious until I saw the raw lust on his face.
“Much better,” I breathed, reaching for his shirt. He beat me to it, grinning as he grabbed the back of it in a fist and pulled it off in a smooth motion.
“I just didn’t want to rush into anything you didn’t want to do. Figured I had a lot of making up to do after what I did.”
As his body came into view, I wished I could clench my thighs together to quell some of the need there. But he was still sitting there. He saw me squirm, and his hands went for my bare legs, running up and down my thighs.
“You can start making it up to me right now.”
“I intend to.” He kept his eyes on me, alternating between searing glances into my eyes that seemed to reach right into my soul and lustful looks at my naked body. Every stroke of his hands on my thighs went higher, and I was throbbing for him.
I couldn’t see how wet I was, but I was pretty sure I’d be embarrassed if I could. Caleb didn’t seem bothered by it. If anything, his eyes seemed to grow even more hungry whenever he caught sight of me.
“Caleb, I need you. Please.”
Seemingly torn between teasing me and giving me what I was asking for, hell begging for, his hands disappeared from my legs, and I nearly cried. Until I saw that they were reaching for his jeans, making quick work of his button.
I trembled in anticipation of feeling his hard body on mine, of having him inside me. Caleb toed off his shoes, kicked his jeans off, and crawled up over me. He kept most of his weight propped up on one arm, while he used the other hand to draw circles on my hips, my stomach, around my nipples.
A low groan ripped from my chest as he flicked a sensitive nipple with his thumb. He kept going, the touch of his fingertips light and burning into me as he teased his way back down to cup my mound.
“What do you need?” he asked me, his lips so close that they brushed against mine when he spoke. “This.” He dipped his fingers into me, spreading me wide and dragging them back up my slit. “Or this.” His tongue darted out between his lips, licking a line from my collarbone to my ear before he planted a kiss on my lips.
Then he shifted slightly, lifting his hips so I could feel his cock straining at my entrance. I bucked my hips against him, but he held steady. “Tell me. Tell me what you want first.”
“Just you.” I panted.
“You got me,” he told me, completely serious and sincere. “All of me, you have it. Whatever you want.”
Pushing my hips up to urge his tip into me, I looked deep into his eyes and cupped his cheeks. “Then let me feel it.”
Caleb groaned, sinking into me slowly like he was savoring every inch. “I was hoping you were going to go for something else first. I don’t know how long I’m gonna last.”
“But you’re a rock star.” I surprised myself by teasing him. I needed him more than I needed air, but I also needed to be sure that he really was okay with what I’d told him, with admitting that we loved each other.
Feeling him inside me was one way I would know. The other was seeing how he acted with me. To my great relief, the corners of his lips lifted into a tight smile. “I’m a very in love rock star who hasn’t been inside my girl for days. Give a guy a break.”
Just like that, I knew that we would be okay. He was okay with everything that was happening, for now anyway. And for now, that was all I needed to know.
He paused and kissed me when he slid all the way in. It was a different kind of kiss, a slow, passionate kiss that matched the rhythm of his hips when he started moving them. He reached for my hands and curled our fingers together, squeezing my hands as he made love to me.
Because that was what this was, making love. This wasn’t sex or fucking or whatever else people called it. These sweet kisses, this explosive rhythm that rocked my heart as much as it did my body and the way his hands hung on to mine, this was making love.
Caleb started trembling around the same time I did, increasing the speed and pressure of his thrusts as we both neared the edge. Together, as I was sure we’d be doing for who knew how long to come. I was quietly hopeful that it was forever, but what we had was enough for now.
Together, we climbed higher and higher, swallowing each other’s noises of pleasure until neither of us could stand it anymore, and our mouths broke apart. My lips brushed against Caleb’s as I moaned his name.
Wave after wave of pure ecstasy crashed into me as my orgasm took hold and ripped through my body. Caleb stiffened shortly after I did, growling my name as he released inside me. He was careful not to collapse onto me when we were done, rolling so he was cradled against my side, his hand on my stomach.
“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered to me once his breathing had returned to normal, his dark eyes fixed on mine.
Stroking a hand through his hair, I drew tiny patterns on his back with my fingernails until he was practically purring. “I fucking love you too.”
Chapter 29
Caleb
The crowd went fucking insane as the final song of the night ended. Our last show in San Diego was done, and it’d been another roaring success. The atmosphere was electric, and it’d affected each and every single one of us, had driven us to give it everything we had.
The show was done, but my nerves were just starting up. Early that morning, tangled up in Kelly’s bed, I’d made a decision. Now was the time I had to follow through on it. All day, I’d been able to focus on the show to keep my nerves at bay. Then I’d sunk into the music deeper than I had in a long time.
Surfacing from that trance, I opened my eyes and was momentarily blinded by the stage lights. I adjusted to them and spotted Jared right at the end of the catwalk, rocking out to Dom’s drum solo that was the outro for this show.
I lifted my guitar strap over my head and set the instrument down in its stand, crossing the stage to my brother. There was a mumbling that started up from the crowd, since it was common knowledge that I never did shit like this.
Jared noticed it just as the solo ended, and I reached him at the same time. He cocked his brow at me questioningly. Holding the mic away from his mouth, he smirked at me. “What’s up? You wanna do the ‘thanks for coming’ bullshit?”
I shook my head, wiping my sweaty palms against my pants. Fucking leather had been a bad idea. My hands felt even slicker when they came away from my thighs. “No, you can still do that. But can I have the microphone?”
Jared paused, clearly surprised. “What’re you up to?”
“Give me the damn mic, and you’ll see.” The crowd was growing restless, renewed excitement reaching the stage in waves. They could tell something was happening. Jared raised the mic, and the entire venue went quiet.
“Apparently, we’ve got a surprise in store for you tonight. Give it up for my brother, the Emperor of Guitar and your favorite string jockey, Caleb Larsen!”
The audience screamed and shouted, cheering so loudly it was nearly deafening. That was a surprise, but I didn’t have time to think about it.
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Matt and Nick joined in Jared’s fun, moving to the back-up mic and throwing out good-natured complaints and protests about my being everyone’s favorite guitarist on stage. Their antics electrified the crowd more, making them laugh and cheer.
The crowd quieted down when Jared handed over his mic to me, the sudden silence as deafening as the cheers had been. Shit, I gripped the mic tight and hoped no one noticed my trembling hands. For a second, I considered just doing Jared’s “thanks for coming” spiel and doing what I needed to later, in private.
But no. I wasn’t pussying out of this one. I’d made my decision, and I was sticking to it. Digging deep to find my balls, I took a breath and raised the mic to my lips. “Good evening, San Diego.”
People shouted greetings at me, several raising signs and screaming for my attention, but I ignored them. I shielded my eyes against the bright lights, searching out the press box where I knew Kelly was seated.
I’d caught glimpses of her throughout the show, whenever the lights weren’t on me so I had a general idea where she was down in the mayhem. As I crossed the stage to the nearest point to her, I kept talking. “As most of you know, San Diego’s our hometown.”
That sent up a round of cheers that actually made me flinch a little, but I hid it behind a confident smirk and kept going. “You guys have been great to us, as you always have been, so I’m gonna steal Jared’s line and go ahead and thank you for another amazing time. We appreciate you all always welcoming us home with open arms and warmed-up vocal chords.”
This time, the cheers nearly raised the roof. I jokingly stuck my finger in my ear and wiggled it around. By now, the cameras had all been trained on me. All except for one, which was on Jared and the guys where they’d gathered around the center of the stage. Even Dom was there.