by Piper Rayne
A stabbing sensation pierces my chest. “So there are no feelings on your side? I was just a girl to mess around with?”
He looks down again and nods.
All the air rushes from my lungs. I nod and close my eyes, gathering all the strength I have left. “Thanks for finally being honest. Have a good life.”
I walk past him toward my store. The crowd acts as if they weren’t hanging on our every word and goes back to their conversations.
“Presley!” Cade calls. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You saved me a lot of trouble.” I meet Reese and her smirk outside The Story Shop, but I push past her.
Then I head to the back room and sink down in my office chair, wishing I’d never tried to have a fresh start.
Three days after the grand opening of The Story Shop, four days after Presley decided to have it out with me in the middle of duo night with the entire town as our witness, I’m at my mom’s gravesite.
What a fantastic fucking week this is turning out to be.
Chevelle hands us all flowers, each one different to make a bouquet that Mom would love. She always said she never had a favorite flower, how could she choose, they’re all beautiful like her kids. But I might be the only one who remembers Mom saying that. Sometimes I think being the oldest child with the clearest memories of her is a curse.
“We’ll start oldest to youngest, like always,” Chevelle says, nodding at me.
I blow out a breath, not really into this. “I’ll pass right now.”
“Cade, you always go first,” she says.
I shake my head. I don’t want to do the rah-rah talk to make all my siblings feel better. We’ve all lived without her longer than we lived with her. There’s nothing rah-rah about how I’m feeling right now, and I only have myself to blame.
I let Presley slip through my hands. I lied to her when I said I felt nothing. She was right to call me out.
“Not this year.” I place the lily in the vase next to Mom’s grave. I wonder if Chevelle planned the lily because of the ceramic lily Presley painted at Fired Up. I never did ask if it was her favorite or not. Because I knew I was sinking farther and farther into her and I thought if I knew less about her, it would make it easier to stay afloat.
“Okay, fine. Fisher.” Chevelle motions to him.
Fisher clears his throat and gives his usual few words about missing her and don’t worry, he’s keeping Sunrise Bay safe. Xavier talks about his season and the fact he’s starting next season. He wishes her a happy birthday and drops his tulip in the vase. Adam wipes his face, probably wishing he could listen to some Motown to push aside any feelings. He apologizes for his marriage not working out. That he didn’t do what it took to make it work and he’s sorry he’s disappointed her since she and Dad were college sweethearts.
“Adam, Mom wouldn’t care. All she’d want is for you to be happy,” I say. He shouldn’t feel guilty that he and Lucy didn’t work out.
“She would’ve wanted you to be happy too,” he says and slides his rose into the vase.
“I am happy.”
Fisher blows out a breath.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing. I’m tired,” he says.
“My turn.” Chevelle stands straight and pulls a piece of paper from her purse. “I wanted to write Mom a poem, but turns out it’s the one thing I’m not good at.”
We all laugh. I wish I would’ve had her read it to me that day in the kitchen. Another fail for me.
“But I wrote a letter.”
Fisher groans. I know he’s not into these days. He’d rather deal with this on his own, same as me. He’s just more vocal about it.
“‘Mom, I’m sorry…’” She glances up, and all of us huddle around her because we know the guilt that weighs heavily on her small shoulders. Our mom’s death is not her fault like she thinks it is. She was five. She didn’t know. “‘But we have a problem. Because you died, Cade is scared.’”
I draw back, and Fisher’s gaze meets mine.
“‘He’s scared to get close to someone. I’m sure you know, but there’s this new woman in town, Presley.’”
Adam steps back, smiling at our sister for calling me out.
“‘He’s so happy when he’s with her, Mom. I’m sure you see his smile all the way in heaven. But he’s trying to act like he doesn’t care about her. He humiliated her in front of the whole town. I know, I know. Not very Greene-like.’” She scolds me with a glare. “‘Please do whatever you can to reach him and send him a message that he can’t turn the clock back to before she came into town. Those feelings he has for her are never going to go away. If anything, he’ll hate himself when he finally realizes he lost her when he’s sitting at her wedding as a guest.’”
All my siblings stare at me.
I hold up my hand. “Is this some kind of bullshit intervention?”
Chevelle puts her hands on Mom’s headstone. “‘Thanks, Mom. We love you and not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.’” She drops a daisy in the vase. “Happy birthday.”
I stalk down to my truck, shaking my head, upset that a day we came to remember our mom has turned into something focused on me.
“Cade!” Chevelle runs after me and grasps my elbow. “It’s okay to put yourself out there.”
I turn back around to find all my siblings standing with Chevelle.
“We all feel the pain,” Xavier says. “None of us want to feel it again, but we can’t just stop living.”
“I’m surviving after Lucy,” Adam says. “I’m here and her leaving devastated me.”
“You guys were too young to understand,” I say.
“I’m only two years younger than you,” Fisher says. “It hurts, yeah, but you can love someone again.”
“I’ve seen you two together,” Adam says. “You’ve already fallen in love with her whether you want to admit it or not.”
My dad’s truck pulls up behind mine. He always joins us a few minutes after we start in case we want to say something we don’t want him to hear.
“What’s going on?” he asks as he walks over to us.
I cross my arms. “Seems my siblings earned psychology degrees I didn’t know about. They have a lot of opinions about why it didn’t work out with Presley.”
Dad sighs and pats my siblings on the shoulders. “Give us a minute,” he says to them.
“We’ll be at the house,” Xavier says.
Marla is making a huge meal at the house like she usually does after we’ve done our graveside visit.
Chevelle hugs me with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry if you’re angry, but I can’t let you ruin your chance at happiness.”
I hug her tightly and pass her to Fisher, who walks her over to his truck.
“Walk with me,” my dad says.
I follow, expecting him to go back up to my mom’s grave, but he heads the opposite way.
“When your mom died, I never thought I’d love again. I didn’t want to put you guys through having a stepmom, and I wasn’t quite sure I could open myself up to caring like that for someone again. But when Marla returned, we just fit.”
I say nothing and keep walking, kicking at the leaves that were left behind under the melted snow.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but having Marla in my life was worth putting you guys through a huge change. I’d forgotten what it was like to have a partner. Someone to listen to you, give you advice, or just love you. Someone you knew would have your back at all costs. I felt empty, and though I could stand it, once Marla came and filled that emptiness, I knew what I’d been missing. As scared as I was of going through a loss like I did with your mother’s death, I didn’t want to turn away because I understood that my life would be better with Marla in it.”
“Yeah, but you and Marla liked each other in high school. You already had feelings for her.”
He sighs and glances at me as if I’m grasping at straws. “I did like Marla in high school, but when I me
t your mother, I fell head over heels in love with her. You loved Reese in high school. Do you feel the same for her now?”
“You know, I don’t think I really did love her, looking back now. If I did, it was teenage love. Not all-consuming adult love.”
“I was scared to love someone again, to open myself to the devastation I felt when your mom died. But I got through it once. If I had to do it again, I could. So could you.” Dad gestures toward all the gravestones. “All of these people lived life. Some had their lives cut too short, like your mother. Some lived until they were a hundred. The problem is, you get one life and you have no idea how long it will be. You might as well live it. Some things work out how you hope, and some don’t. Even if it doesn’t work out how you want, that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing.”
He stops at a gravestone. It reads Benjamin Oliver and I calculate the birth to death dates, figuring out he was only eighteen when he died.
Dad says, “I went to high school with Benny.”
The name Benny rings a bell. A car crash, I think.
“I always think about what he missed out on, dying so young. He never got married, had the blessing of having kids, seeing them grow up, watching them make bad decisions.” He raises his eyebrows at me. “It puts things in perspective. You can be dead and not living, but you can also be alive and not living too.” He pats me on the shoulder. “I’m going to wish your mom a happy birthday. See you back at the house.”
He leaves me standing in front of Benny’s grave.
I drive over to Marla and my dad’s house, leaving my dad at Mom’s gravesite. He’s probably complaining about me to her too.
The driveway is filled with all my siblings’ and stepsiblings’ cars.
I hear laughter in the kitchen when I walk in the house, a noise I’m so accustomed to here—a noise that never would’ve been here had Marla not entered our lives. Sure, we were happy before her, but she brought something special, as did each of my stepsiblings. Had my dad not taken that chance, my life now would be very different. Marla’s even helped Chevelle work through some of her guilt. I could never repay her for that.
The room quiets with my entrance. All of my stepsiblings come over and hug me.
Jed slaps me on the back. “Come to your senses at all?”
I ignore the jab. “When did you become Team Presley?”
He shrugs. “I like her. And Books and Beers made the most money on duo night, so… bragging rights.”
Marla hugs me tightly, her hand running up and down my back. “You okay?”
I nod. “Yep, if everyone would stay out of my business.”
The whole room erupts into a conversation of how this big family is in everyone’s business, not just mine.
“Would you mind setting the table?” Marla asks.
“Sure.”
She picks up a stack of plates and hands them to me. I go to the dining room and see that all the leaves are already in the table, making it stretch the entire length of the large room. I place all the plates down, but run out before I reach the final chair. Huh.
“Marla, we have one extra chair,” I call.
She’s mixing the salad and her smile dims. “Oh, yeah, sorry.”
“Is someone else coming?”
She shakes her head. “No, you can take it away. I thought someone might be joining us.” She sighs and goes back to mixing her salad.
“Who?”
All my siblings and stepsiblings groan.
“How on Earth are you the oldest?” Nikki asks.
“What am I missing?”
Chevelle steps over to me with an exasperated expression. “The speech and the letter were supposed to put some sense into your brain to make up with Presley. The chair is for Presley!” She throws her arms in the air. “It’s a lost cause. He’s going to die alone.”
Tears spring from Chevelle’s eyes and Marla is quick to hug her.
“I’m not gonna die alone. Jed will be next to me,” I say, but no one laughs.
Jed finishes swallowing a pull from his beer. “Hell no. I’m not wiping your ass.”
At least one person in this room is willing to joke about this.
“At least Mom lived a good life. She had five kids, she was happy and in love. Your looks aren’t going to last forever,” Adam says.
“Dad’s still looking good,” I counter.
“Seriously?” Chevelle asks.
Marla puts up her hands to stop us all from fighting. “This is Cade’s decision, everyone. We’ve all interjected ourselves enough at this point. We tried and failed.”
“You mean you all planned this entire thing? On Mom’s birthday?” I ask.
They all nod. Everyone is in on it.
“We love you and we want you to be happy,” Chevelle says.
I hug her. “I am happy.”
She shakes her head against my chest. “Not as happy as you were with Presley.”
My dad walks in and frowns—from seeing me here alone, I guess.
“Okay, let’s eat,” Marla announces.
Everyone takes a dish and heads to the dining room. Dad lingers with Marla, hugging her and kissing her forehead. I hear them whisper I love yous and Marla asking Dad if he’s okay. He only holds her a little tighter.
I go back to the dining room. I’m about to sit down when Nikki pulls her vibrating phone from her pocket. She glances at me then responds to the text.
“One of your many sources?” I ask.
“Oh, this is something you’ll want to know.”
“Doubt it,” I say, my hand on the back of my chair.
“Turns out Presley is booked on a flight back to Connecticut tonight. Looks like you got your wish, Cade. She’s out of your life permanently.”
I snatch her phone and she tries to grab it back, but I put my palm on her head to keep her in her seat, holding the phone high. I see who her source is, and damn, I’m surprised and annoyed at the same time. But the source is legit, so I hand it back to her.
“You cannot tell a soul,” she says, warning me with her finger.
Everyone looks at me as Dad and Marla walk in.
“This is your last chance. You really gonna let her go?” Jed asks.
A reel of my time with her runs through my mind.
“Son, you’re stronger than this.” Dad puts his hand on my shoulder. “It takes a strong heart to love again.”
“Ah, Hank, no worries. I’ll take Presley off his hands.” Jed stands and drops the napkin on the table.
Just the thought of Presley with Jed or anyone else makes the arteries in my neck pop out. I couldn’t stand that.
“Finally!” Jed’s head falls back. “All it took was some good ol’ jealousy.”
“I’ll be back.”
Unfortunately, Jed’s right. I’m an idiot.
“Where is she?” I ask Nikki.
She hammers a message out on her phone to her “source.” “She’s at the apartment above the garage, cleaning it out.”
I race out of Dad and Marla’s house and jump into my truck. I can’t let her leave this all behind. Leave me behind. I might be slow on the uptake, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make Presley see what everyone else already has—we’re meant to be together.
My mom is leaving tonight, but she’s helping me clean out the apartment before she goes.
She comes out of the bathroom. “Bathroom is done.”
She holds up the black trash bags full of my rugs, shower curtain, and toiletry items. The fact she’s willing to help with this says how much she loves me. She sits on the bed I’ve already stripped, the one that started this whole mess with Cade.
“Sweetie, come home with me,” she says.
I shake my head, throwing away the food that’s about to expire and I don’t want to take with me. I found a small place to rent closer to town, where I can walk to work. The rental car was getting expensive, so I bought a cheap one to get me by for a while.
I’m not
proud of my actions with Cade. There’s no excuse for me hashing it out with the entire town watching. Maybe I was trying to hurt him as much as he hurt me, I don’t know.
“I can’t. I have the bookstore.”
“But he’s going to be right next to you.”
I dump the cream cheese. “I know.”
“You’ll still be neighbors, even if you don’t live here.” She looks around. It’s clear from her cringe she doesn’t think much of the apartment. But like all the Greene children, I’ll always hold memories of this place near to my heart.
Cade might not be ready to admit what he felt for me. I have no control over that. Maybe I should have pressed more. Maybe I shouldn’t have pressed at all, I don’t know. Another woman might have gotten him to open up. But I thought with time… I shake my head to stop myself from overthinking. It’s over and all I can do is deal with it and try to move on.
“I came to this town for Clara too.”
“So you’re never coming home?” There’s a hitch in my mom’s voice.
I close the fridge, sit on the bed, and take her hands. “Mom, I love you. Thank you for always being my biggest cheerleader. I don’t want you to think me coming here is to get away from you. I’d love if you and Dad would relocate here. But this is the first place I feel like myself. I feel like I really fit, despite the recent drama.”
“Did I make a mistake raising you in Connecticut?”
I lean my head on her shoulder. “You and Dad gave me a great life. And maybe it’s my genes, why I love it here so much. Maybe it has nothing to do with biology. But I’m happy here in a way I wasn’t in Connecticut.”
“Even though that boy broke your heart?”
“That’s the good thing with broken hearts—they heal.” Eventually.
She kisses my forehead. “I’m not sure when you became the wise one.”
“As soon as you held me in your arms.”
She pushes me away with her shoulder and laughs. “I’m going to come visit a lot. You’ll need a spare room. And even though that Cade fella missed his chance, the next guy from this town who’s worthy of winning your heart, he’s gonna have to get used to me.”