She rests her chin on my shoulder as we sway to the music that the crappy band is playing, that Mel made Liam hire for this shindig. Moving us so she’s facing the stage I look out to the guests who aren’t dancing and immediately my eyes land on him. It’s like no matter where he is, I’m instantly drawn to him. He’s standing in the corner all broody and muscle. His suit jacket is tight across his shoulders and his biceps are clearly dying to burst free from the confines of the material. You wouldn’t think looking at him that he loves it when he’s got my cock in his mouth. Having him this close and not being able to touch him is torture. He knows about my arrangement with Billie and the glint I can see in his eyes is telling me that he would love nothing more than to have her between us both.
Yeah that’s not happening… ever.
Chapter Two
Billie-Jo
Replacing Allie on the first tour the band did when they made their comeback was the best and worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I wish I’d gotten the job under different circumstances, although I am grateful that I was the one they wanted to take her place after she was attacked. Even if it was mainly down to Allie. Everything was going well for me, for once in my life I had a purpose. A reason to believe I wasn’t the let down my family thought I was.
Yes, I went to college, but I didn’t study what they wanted me to. Being a boring accountant and sitting in a stuffy office for eight hours a day just isn’t me. In a way I guess you could say it’s why me and Allie became friends. She defied her parents and went to the same performing arts school I did, supported herself without the help of her parents as well. Only she was always the better dancer out of the two of us. So, when she landed the dancing job with Syren, I wasn’t one bit surprised. She deserved it. The day I got the call to say I was to go and see Connor Blackwood, I nearly died on the spot. I thought someone was pulling my leg, that it was all one big joke at my expense. Only it wasn’t. It was all very real. I was at a low point in my life. I was ready to give up on my dream of being a professional dancer. To the point I was going to admit defeat and go back to my parents and let them gloat of how I had chosen the wrong path in life. I’m not the type of person who just gives up easily, so for me to be ready to walk away from my dream was really hard for me. You could say I went off the rails slightly, finding myself doing things I had never done before.
Drugs.
Threesomes… men and women.
The booze, my god, I nearly drowned myself in vodka at one point.
Going on that tour changed my life. I was finally doing what I loved and I was no longer killing myself off, slowly. I couldn't thank Allie enough for telling Connor to pick me to take her place.
So, with all that being said, I was finally doing what I loved. Seeing places, I had only dreamed of, staying in luxury hotels, and mingling with people I’d only seen on the cover of glossy magazines. Then one night I made what I thought was to be a monumental mistake which would lead to me losing everything. Only the thing is, I soon realised I would lose something far worse than my job along the way, I would lose my heart.
To Max.
He wasn’t supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to come into my life and knock it clean on its arse, but he did.
I know the score, we aren’t exclusive. Never have been, never will be. He’s a free bird as he once described himself to me. Max doesn’t know how I feel about him and I have no intentions of ever telling him either. We have our little arrangement. I may not be a hundred percent happy with it, but if it’s the only way I can keep him in my life and in my bed then I’m willing to take it.
Does that make me sound desperate?
Yes, maybe it does, but when you have this deep soul crushing love for someone, you realise sooner rather than later that getting something from them, however small that maybe is better than getting nothing at all.
I know I deserve more than that from him and it’s probably a shitty way to think, but I’m not willing to give up what I have with him. I can’t.
I see something in him that no-one else does. I see fear and the need he has to keep people at a distance. I don’t know why he’s like that, I may never find out, but I know he’s capable of much more deep down.
Being here at Mel and Liam’s wedding brings it all to the surface for me. I’m never going to have what they have, but it's my choice at the end of the day. I won’t let anyone tell me any differently.
I’ve been watching him knock back the whiskey for the last half an hour, trying my best not to climb him like a tree in a room full of people. Seeing him in a suit instead of his usual ripped jeans and Lenny Hendrix t-shirt does something to me. The way the material of his trousers clings to his thighs and arse make me want to rip them from his body.
Settling for the next best thing, I get up from my chair and make my way over to him. Hoping and praying that if I offer him a dance, it might wake his cock up and he’ll offer to ravish me somewhere a little bit more private.
Making my way over to him, adding a little extra sway to my hips when he notices me. Acting nonchalant, as if I haven’t been eyeballing him for the last thirty minutes. I saddle up to him and say, “I’ve been looking for you, I wanted to know if you fancied joining me on the dance floor?”
Without saying a word, he takes my hand and pulls me onto the dancefloor. My body slamming into his hard chest when we come together.
“You look gorgeous, I could fuck you right here, right now.” He whispers into my ear, at the same time his hands explore my arse and pull my hips in closer to his. It’s then I feel the erection he has going on in his trousers, making me hitch a breath and gasp from the sudden wetness that seeps from me.
“You’re a naughty boy Maxy.” I tease.
“You wouldn’t have me any other way though, would you? You love it when I’m naughty with you.” He says it so matter-of-fact. I can’t argue with him on it, because he’s right. I do love it. We sway to the music; no more words are exchanged between us as we just enjoy being in each other’s arms.
Little did I know, I wasn’t the only one who was lusting after the man who had gave me more multiple orgasms than anyone had before.
Chapter Three
Vin
If anyone knew I was standing here with an erection so hard that I’m beginning to worry for my health and it’s for one of my bosses, I would be sacked on the spot. I’ve always been open about my sexuality. I’ve never had to hide who I am or what I want. I’ve always had family and friends that have accepted me for me. Who have always been supportive in my life choices and with the way I conduct my relationships; welcoming anybody I take home with open arms. The only thing is I've started to develop feelings for someone I wasn’t supposed to. Someone who has to keep the real him a secret.
Only I know different, I can see the real him. The one he's hiding behind a mask. I understand why he keeps quiet, it would destroy not only his career, but the other guys would suffer the backlash if it ever got out. Even though LGBT is accepted most places nowadays, there is still a lot of uncertainties about it. It’s hard for anyone to come out and be open about their sexuality, so being in one of the world's most famous bands only makes it harder. He puts on a good show I’ll give him that, flaunting Billie around and making the world think he’s straight.
Only I know different, I know he loves it when I slide my dick down his throat. Or the feral grunting sound he makes when I plunge my dick so deep into his arse. there's been times, I’ve worried I’m gonna split him in two. I can see the demons he’s fighting on a daily basis though. What they are I still don’t know, and that’s the reason he’s keeping his sexuality a secret. I know he’s been fucking Billie in the meantime. It doesn’t take a genius to work that one out. Even if he hadn’t told me himself you would only have to look at the two of them to know that they have feelings for each other. It’s written clear as day across both of their faces.
We’ve been each other’s dirty little secre
t since the last European tour. I followed him one night when he refused to let me drive him wherever it was, he was going, when I caught him sneaking out of the hotel. So, the bodyguard in me needed to know he was safe. When I saw where he was going, I was gobsmacked. The secret hidey-hole club that's for individuals with let's say specific sexual tastes, was hidden well away down a back alley. How he knew about it I don’t know and I didn’t even bother asking. I was in too much shock at the time.
I didn’t know what to think or say when he saw me parked outside a few hours later where I had waited for him. I knew I shouldn’t have been there. I was invading his privacy, which is something that a man like Max doesn’t take lightly. Now I know why.
The look he had on his face was one of pure devastation, he actually thought I was going tell everyone his secret.
“What are you doing here?” he spits at me.
Unfolding my arms from across my chest, I place my hands in my trouser pockets, at the same time kicking the road with the sole of my shoe and bowing my head.
“I asked you a question Vin, don’t make me repeat myself.”
He’s pissed off big time.
Looking him square in the eye finally, I answer him. “
I followed you.” My voice taking an edge to it, as I raise my eyebrows. “I was worried, it’s my job to protect you. No matter what.”
“You what?”
This time his voice goes an octave higher, as he completely ignores my explanation. So, I try again.
“I followed you, I had to be sure you were okay Max. You're not exactly unknown are you.” I state, making it clear I’m not messing around with his safety.
“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t have bothered. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.”
He sweeps his hands down the length of his body showing me that he is in fact okay., but that isn’t what I’m more concerned about. What’s bothering me is that for the first time since I started this job, I’m seeing Max as more than just someone who is my boss and could fire me at any given time. He’s delicious. Yet I can tell he’s vulnerable. He didn’t want anyone knowing, and I know his walls have gone back up.
He walks to the back of the car and opens the door, stopping short to look back at my none moving figure.
“I swear to god Vin, if this gets out, I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?”
Throwing caution to the wind, I lean over the frame of the car door and plant my mouth on his. I part the seam of his lips with my tongue and once the shock has worn off, he starts to kiss me back. Softly at first, then when he relaxes, he picks up the rhythm. Before it gets to hot and steamy, I pull away from him. Leaving us both breathless and clearly wanting more.
Giving him a cheeky, yet daring grin I say, “Don’t worry, Max. Your secret is more than safe with me.”
With that he gets in the car and I take him back to the hotel.
That night was supposed to be just me reassuring him that what I saw wouldn’t go any further. The knock on my door later changed everything between us and now, now I have to share him with her. I don’t mean it to sound like it’s a bad thing, I knew he was screwing her as well as me. It’s just that she’s so gorgeous and I’d love nothing more than to have her screaming both our names. Only he won’t tell her. He keeps us apart. Scared shitless that she will run a mile and tell his secret to the world. I have only ever spoken a handful of words to her, but I can see it in her eyes and the way she watches him that she would do anything to make him happy.
Watching him swaying on the dance floor with her in his arms is torturous. It should be me in his arms or all three of us together. Being able to be open about our relationship and not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks. I guess losing your heart to someone as famous as Max was always going to have repercussions. Only it's me who's suffering on the side-lines from them.
He looks at me from over her shoulder and even in the dim lighting I can see the want on his face, but also the war he’s having internally with himself. I hate seeing him like that, but I have to respect his wishes if I want to carry on having him in my bed.
Giving him up isn’t an option for me.
I’d give my life for that man and he doesn’t even know it.
Chapter Four
Max
Leading Billie off the dance floor when the song we were dancing to finishes, I take her hand in mine and head towards the bar. I need a stiff drink to control the stiff dick I can’t seem to get rid of. More importantly, I need the drink to calm my emotions and the gut feeling I have brewing. The knowledge that I’m going to end up hurting one of the two people I care about the most is eating away at me.
One way or the other, my dick is going inside someone tonight, it’s just making the choice that's hard. The thought of disappointing either one of them is breaking me on the inside. I’ve never had to choose before, call me a man slut all you want. I don’t care. I know I’m a coward. I also know I’m not being fair on either of them. I just can’t let either one of them go. It’s not a possibility. I’m so torn and what's worse is that I have no-one to talk to about it. Whereas Connor, Johnny and Liam could vent their women issues and talk openly about everything. I can’t. I’m not built that way, even if I could have a heart to heart with someone I could trust. Even knowing it wouldn’t get out, or the guys wouldn’t look at me and think I was disgusting and kick me out of the band. It’s been programmed into me, into my head not to speak of such things, knowing what would happen if I did. Even though my dad’s not in my life much now, what he did to me will always be at the forefront of my mind. The restraints that hold me back from opening up about the real me. Being the joker of the group, the one who takes the piss and laughs at everything is just my shield. It’s a front you could say, don’t get me wrong half the time it’s who I really am, but sometimes I overplay it.
Leaning an elbow on the bar, I signal the barman over.
“Whiskey, neat please.” I tell him before turning to Billie. “What can I get you beautiful?”
Smiling at my compliment, she looks up at me from under her lashes before replying, “Martini and lemonade please.”
Taking our drinks from the bar, I walk us over to a table. Placing the drinks down, I do the gentlemanly thing and pull a chair out for Bea to sit on. Even that tells me I’m not being the normal me. I wouldn’t usually care if the woman I was with stood or sat, but with her I care… I care far too much.
Parking my arse next to her, we sit in silence for a few moments, just people watching. The entire time I know he’s watching us. Knowing that it’s killing him as much as it is me, that I’m sat here openly with Billie and not him. I do what I do best, I become an arsehole.
I look out the corner of my eye, double checking that he can see what I’m about to do.
Bingo, he is.
He's always watching me.
Turning my attention back to Billie, who is staring out to the dance floor where Liam and Mel are in each other's arms, I falter for a split second. She doesn’t deserve to be played like this and neither does he, but I can’t help myself. It’s my way of keeping people at arm's length, showing them that I’m in control. That I'm the one calling all the shots and no-one is going to make me feel worthless ever again.
I place my hand on her bare knee, the dress she’s wearing barely comes to mid-thigh which is perfectly okay with me.
Easy access.
Tiptoeing my fingertips lightly along her smooth olive skin, I keep my eyes on her waiting for her to respond. Even though she doesn’t have to say anything or even look at me, I know my touch affects her. When underneath the sleeve of tattoos she has on her arm, goose bumps appear, telling me everything I need to know.
She can’t hide the way I affect her from me, no matter how hard she tries. If the goose bumps weren't a big giveaway, then the sharp intake of breath she takes every time I touch her, would surely confirm it for me. Keeping my eyes on her the entire
time, I continue to dance my fingers along her skin until I reach the lace edging of her knickers. Turning her head slowly to look at me, I suddenly stop what I’m doing before I sternly say, “Eyes back on the dancefloor Queen Bea.”
Not one to disobey me, she quickly does as I ask just as he comes straight into my line of vision.
Fabulous.
He's going to get an even better eye-full from where he's now standing.
Leaning forward, I rest my left arm on the back of her chair and push her thighs open a little further with my right hand that's still under her dress.
“I'm going to finger fuck you, right here, right now, and you're going to let me, at the same time you can't make a sound. Are we clear?”
Her breath hitches and before she can answer me. I roughly push aside her underwear then plunge two fingers inside her already dripping wet pussy. Whoever said a man can’t multitask is a bloody liar. I continue to slide my fingers in out of her tight heat, at the same time I keep one eye on her and one eye on him. It’s not easy, but I do it and I’m bloody proud of myself even if I say so myself. What I see has my dick going from a semi, to a full-on raging erection in seconds. Not wanting to give anything away about my current situation, I watch the two of them. He’s still standing, rooted to the spot with his lust-filled eyes on the two of us. He moves slightly, adjusting his suit trousers which tells me he’s in the same boat as me in that department. He’s practically salivating on the spot but tries to hide it by biting his lip.
Giving him a sly smile, I quickly go back to taking in the beauty that is Billie. She’s gripping one side of the chair with one hand and the edge of the table with the other. Her delicate fingers are almost white she’s holding on that tight. Her mouth is in the perfect ‘O’ shape and I know she’s just dying to scream at the top of her lungs.
Syren's Pride Page 2