by M. D. Grimm
“Yes.” Aishe watched my movements, his eyes half-lidded and still fiery. “I want you inside me. Fuck me.”
It aroused me to no end when he used that word from that strange planet called Earth. I used it often, and he’d developed a liking for it. I pressed my tip right against his entrance, letting him feel me, but not yet penetrating. I cupped his chin, my eyes meeting his.
“The Mother blessed me when she wrote you into my life. I have only ever felt hope, love, and happiness when you gave them to me.”
His breath hitched, his eyes widened. I didn’t allow him a chance to respond. I slammed home, forcing him to take all of me in one thrust. His head snapped back and he screamed. I pulled all the way out before slamming back again. He gripped my shoulders, his legs high and spread, never once trying to stop me. I knew he wouldn’t. I knew he wanted this as much as I did. I rode him hard. Harder than I ever have before. He met each thrust with a cry, his body rising toward mine, letting me claim him. And I did claim him, he belonged to me. Everything he was belonged to me, the Mother saw fit to write it that way. He was a warrior because of me, I was his reason. My time with his tribe surged to the forefront of my mind, and I changed the pace, still thrusting hard, but slowing down. I didn’t want either of us to come yet. My cries mixed with Aishe’s, his body never wanting to let me go, always welcoming me back, squeezing hard.
Gasping, panting, I gripped his thighs, giving him what he’d fantasized about. Giving him his prize. He stared at me as I claimed him, hoarse pants mixed with his cries. He suddenly gripped his own erection, where it lay neglected against his torso. The sight of him stroking himself nearly had me coming. But not yet. I held back. He had to come first. An idea sprang to mind and I didn’t question it. I placed my hands flat upon his torso and called to my magick. It shimmered through me, already at the surface. It always awoke when I made love with Aishe. Staring into Aishe’s eyes, murmuring a word, I directed the spell. I’d done this to Aishe once before, but instead of his entire body being ignited, it would be a focused hit, making it far more powerful. My magick flowed down my arms, my hands, before it shot into Aishe’s body, the color a vibrant blue.
The spell ignited all his pleasure points, his nerves, in his lower body, sensitizing them to a degree impossible without magick. Aishe’s eyes shot wide and his body suddenly snapped backward and bowed off the bed as his hands clenched the blankets. His scream echoed through the room, and I was rather impressed by the high velocity of his come as he came violently.
But I didn’t have long to muse, since, because I was still inside him, I got a blast of my own spell. My cock became more sensitized than it should be and every move, every twitch inside Aishe was magnified more than ten-fold. I only got one last thrust before that spell, and Aishe’s inner muscles violently clenching, wrenched my orgasm from me.
My own body snapped back, my eyes shooting wide as I screamed.
When next I knew anything, I was lying on something warm, soft, and trembling. A heartbeat drummed under my ear, still fast in its pace. My vision spun slightly when I first opened my eyes but it quickly settled down. I realized my own heart was doing an impressive drumbeat in my chest, and that I lay on Aishe. I was still partway inside him, but even as I moved the slightest bit, sensation laced through me and I shuddered out a breath. I got an answering response from Aishe. So, it wasn’t long after our violent orgasms, since we were still recovering from the aftershocks of the spell.
I smiled. Damn, I’m good. I didn’t know how long we lay there, but Aishe soon began to stroke my hair, slowly, lovingly. I closed my eyes, wallowing.
“If you continue to do that,” Aishe said, his voice hoarse. “I might die.”
I grinned, chuckling. “Are you telling me to stop?”
“If you stop, I might have to kill you.”
I chuckled again, grinning wider. I raised my head, looking at the intense satisfaction on his face. But I still had to ask, “Did I hurt you?”
His eyes fluttered open, a sensual smile on his swollen lips. “A little. I liked it. But I’m afraid I can’t walk.”
I kissed him lightly. “You don’t need to walk. I’ll take care of you.”
His smile deepened as his arms wrapped around my neck. “That sounds nice. But you do that already. You’ve always taken care of me. I owe you, remember?”
I remembered. He thought he owed me as a child, and now, as an adult....
“You’ve already repaid me,” I said quietly. “By loving me.”
He hugged me. I held him back, tightly. If what we owed each other was weighed with scales, I would say I owed him far more. He’d given me life when I’d been dead inside. He’d given me love when I thought there was nothing but hate. He’d given me hope when all I had was despair.
I owed him everything...which was why I had to tell him. About me. About who I once was. There couldn’t be any secrets between us. I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed to the Mother and Hunter that he would forgive me. And accept me, however broken I was.
Chapter Fourteen
It was late night when I found myself awake, staring at the vaulted ceiling. This was the first silent moment I’d had in what felt like forever. But, even counting my time with the Ravena tribe, it was barely a week. I rubbed my forehead, images and conversations with long-dead dialen racing through my mind, making it impossible for me to sleep. Now I understood. I understood why Aishe was the way he was, why he was so patient, stable, even-tempered. He had that foundation of love and trust, that foundation every creature should have.
And I didn’t.
I knew now what a family should be like. I’d seen it, up close, with my own eyes. I’d even felt it, just a little, when Breyln spoke to me that last time; his words to me then, calling my own damned family fools... I hadn’t allowed myself to understand the depth of his words then, but I did now. He accepted me into his family. He gave me consent to be Aishe’s mate. I vividly remembered the sensation of his loving hug, and his generous words, the celebration, the dancing, the singing. I’d been welcomed, completely and utterly into that tribe. I’d had approval, love, affection.
I was crying before I realized it. Closing my eyes tightly, I rolled over, my back to Aishe. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to stifle the noises that issued from my throat. Amyla and Lucia’s sweet faces flashed before my mind’s eye, their innocence and life so bloodily stolen; Breyln and Nunya as they talked about their children, the love and pride in their eyes, the way their attitude warmed up when they spoke to me. Their trust in me. Aishe’s three brothers. I’d observed them with Aishe, and though they teased him, they were mightily protective, and loved him like brothers should.
Like mine never did.
I don’t know how to grieve. Did I even have a right to grieve for that tribe? I’d only been with them for a couple of days and I barely knew them. I didn’t protect them. But I did grieve, and I grieved for Aishe, deeper than I ever have before. The Mother had no right to do that to him.
“Morgorth?” Aishe’s voice was sleep roughened and his slender hand gripped my upper arm. I pressed my face into the pillow, unable to answer. He must have sensed something—he always did—and he pressed his body along mine, wrapping his arms around me. He nuzzled my neck, stroked my chest. His warmth, his comfort, only made me cry harder.
Later, I finally managed to calm down, and take steady breaths.
“How do you bear it?” I asked, my voice hoarse. I cleared my throat. “How do you handle the fist around your heart? I didn’t even know them very long but...they have faces now. Beautiful faces.”
Aishe squeezed me slightly as a shuddering breath escaped him. “I have no choice but to handle it, my love. I knew them, loved them. They were my life. But the grief fades with each passing day. It will never leave completely, but I don’t want it to.” Then he kissed my neck, his hand sliding up to rub his knuckles along my cheek. “I am so happy you know them now, Morgorth. You love them.”
&nbs
p; I opened my eyes, which were raw and stinging. “That’s why I never wanted to feel, for anyone or anything. The pain isn’t worth it.”
“Yes, it is.”
I wasn’t convinced but I kept silent on that. “I don’t know how to grieve, Aishe.”
“One day at a time. I’ll help you. You’re not alone, Morgorth. Neither of us are.”
I nodded. I took another deep breath. “I could have stopped it all, you know. I could have taken the ruby, and Kayl wouldn’t have killed your tribe.”
Silence reined. Aishe finally tugged at my arm, trying to turn me to face him. I reluctantly did, almost afraid what I would see on his face. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and I could see he was tired and weary. But his solid core of strength and courage still shone out.
“Don’t do this to yourself, Morgorth. I insist that you stop. You know my sentiments on that.”
I closed my eyes briefly, nodding. “What the Mother has written, let no one unwrite.”
“Exactly.”
I stared into his eyes, needing to see the truth in them. “But when it happened, when you found your tribe and knowing about us...didn’t you hate me? The Mother?”
He smiled slightly but his eyes were sad. “I will be truthful. I did hate both of you.”
I looked away. He cupped my chin, bringing my head back around. Our gazes met again. “But that was brief, my love. My grief for my tribe and my hatred for Kayl overcame all else.” He sighed. “I resented that you did nothing, but it was meant to happen. As cruel as that sounds, and as cruel as the act, the Mother has a plan for us all. That comforts me, in some ways. We must put our faith in her, Morgorth. And my tribe, well, they’re now safe, their pain gone. And I am with you.” He cupped my cheek. “My lovely, troubled mage.”
I covered his hand with mine, pressing my forehead to his. Then we talked. We talked like we’d never talked before. I told him everything I felt and experienced while with his tribe; he listened and added his own memories. We kept sharing as the night wore on, and I vaguely thought I’d never spoken so much in my life.
“I told your father to send you away,” I said. We lay on our sides, our faces close, our hands always touching. “I didn’t give him details but...I told him to send you away when a weak mage came to his tribe, claiming to want to learn from them.”
Aishe lay quiet for a short time, clearly trying to process that revelation. “That’s why,” he finally whispered, “they betrothed me. I’d wondered. They just seemed to suddenly reject my feelings for you, the entire time you were with my tribe.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I hated them for it, Morgorth. My last conversation with them was full of resentment and bitterness. And they died. I never—” His breath hitched. “I never got to—”
I pulled him into a tight hug, stroking his hair. His tears twisted my guts into greasy knots. “Baby, you know they knew how you felt about them. They didn’t resent you for your anger. They loved you. They just wanted you safe.” I swallowed hard, denying my own tears. “There’s no way I can thank them for protecting you.”
Aishe sniffed, his breath unsteady. But his tears stopped and he wiped his eyes. “You’re right. But, I’ve felt so guilty. I resented them as they were massacred, and now I know they did that to keep me safe.” He took a deep, slow breath. “I don’t know if it makes it worse or better.”
Should I have told him? I sighed, still stroking his hair. My mind wandered; it had many avenues to venture through, considering all the new things I knew now, all the ways our fates had interlinked so intimately. It was scary, but oddly enough, strangely comforting.
“I always wondered what possessed you to kiss me that first time, in the crawlers’ cave,” I said softly. “Do you remember?”
Aishe looked up at me, a small smile on his face. “Of course I remember. Our first kiss. I just couldn’t stand it anymore, being so close to you, smelling your sweat, watching you do magick, and not touching you. We were both adults and I kept thinking about all the plans I had about what I would do to you, when I found you again. You were right there, right beside me, and we were alone. I knew you wouldn’t make the first move.”
I chuckled slightly. “You were right about that.” I stroked my knuckles over his cheek. “Thanks.”
Aishe snuggled closer. I then told Aishe about his father’s consent to us becoming mates, and his approval of me, which still made my throat want to close. Aishe stared at me with shocked, wide eyes. I smiled slightly. Then Aishe started crying again, the sound breaking my heart. But his tears got me going, and soon we were blubbering like fools together. What a pair we made. But I felt better after, and it also felt right. It felt right that we should share this together. Now, I wasn’t only comforting him, I was empathizing. Even though I’d rather not feel this, I knew it made me closer to him. And that was good.
***
It was very early morning, the sun just rising, when Aishe came to me. We’d fallen asleep after our sharing session, lying in each other’s arms. But now I was on my stomach and Aishe covered me, his fingers stroking me intimately, probing my asshole. I moaned and spread my legs wider, the invitation clear. He mouthed the back of my neck, and his hand moved to my stirring erection, stroking it, igniting a fire in my stomach. I pushed my ass against his groin, feeling his own hardness against my crease.
He nipped my earlobe as I reached over to grab the lube I’d set on the bedside table. But I couldn’t reach it. I grunted. Aishe managed to reach it instead. He slicked his fingers, pushing them deep inside me. I squirmed, stroking my own erection. It amazed me sometimes that I liked being penetrated. I figured it was because I loved and trusted Aishe. I was never a bottom before him.
“This was another one of my favorite fantasies as I grew older,” he whispered in my ear. My eyes popped open. “And it’s still one of my favorites.” He stroked my inner walls, pushing in and out. My body trembled, my stroking becoming faster. When his fingers brushed against my gland, I choked out a sound, stiffening. He brushed it several times and my moans became whimpers.
“I love becoming one with you,” he continued, removing his fingers before stroking the tip of his cock against my opening. My panting became hoarse. “You’re so warm and smooth inside, so tight, demanding I give you everything. While I love the feeling of you inside me, the power you command, the way you dominate me, I love to do the same to you.”
My face was hot, and I knew it would be as red as blood, so I kept it pressed against the pillow. Aishe never moved from where he lay, practically lying across my back, he only shifted his hips and used his hand to guide himself inside me. My body, so used to his touch and always craving it, allowed him inside without any resistance. We both groaned as he slid home. My magick flashed hot, tensing my muscles. I kept it contained and the way it coursed through me made my pulse quicken, made the sensations more intense.
I marveled at Aishe’s control. His pace was slow, sensual, agonizing. He kept kissing the back of my neck, and his fingers pinched my nipples, while his hips never once slowed, never once showed me mercy. I stroked myself in time with his thrusts, the pleasure mounting in slow but measurable degrees. His endurance was admirable. I should try to do the same to him one of these days.
“You’re mine,” Aishe said, panting, his hand covering mine that stroked my erection. He pushed my hand aside and took over.
I exhaled shakily, finally turning my head to meet his eyes. “Prove it.”
Aishe grinned before kissing me. The angle made it slightly awkward but no less fulfilling. His thrusts became harder, faster, his stroking more vigorous. I moved against him, heightening the friction. He came first, his body tightening, his groan loud in my ear, but his hand never slowed, letting me come a heartbeat later. I gasped, my magick flashed to the surface, then dimmed, settling back into my core. He slipped out but didn’t roll off me. I didn’t want him to. I closed my eyes, gripping his hand, and he snuggled close, snoring in minutes.
I smiled. His weight pres
sing me into the mattress was comforting. Aishe was like the physical manifestation of all that was great in the world—all that was loving, trusting, courageous, patient...all those good qualities that counteracted the ugly, hateful, cowardly, and bad things in the world. All those things I’d been exposed to as a child.
Slamming the door shut on those memories, I focused on Aishe and managed to drift into a light sleep.
***
I woke before Aishe. I reluctantly slipped out from under him and dressed only in trousers before walking over to my writing desk. Sitting quietly, I wrote a message to Master Ulezander, telling him about Drasyln. I didn’t give much detail about my journey to the past, just in case this letter was intercepted, which had been done before, if Drasyln was to be believed. I told him if he needed more information, he could come personally. I didn’t need evidence to get the Hand involved since they already wanted her. I couldn’t repress a shudder at the mere thought of the Hand.
The Hand was the judge, jury, and executioner of the mage world. Five powerful mages made up the Hand, mages who were elders already seated on the Council of Mages. The Hand had decreed my death as a child and only Master Ulezander managed to convince them to spare my life. Now, my mentor managed to become one of council, and more recently, found a seat on the Hand. There were those who thought him daft for taking me on as an apprentice, but he was also powerful and well respected. I couldn’t have asked for a better ally.
I folded the letter, sealed it with wax, then strode out of the room. I walked up several flights of steep stairs before opening a door into my querianry, the place that housed my querian messengers. I had several and all were competent, but Daaga was the speediest, and she’d taken a letter to Master Ulezander once before. I tried not to use the same querian for the same route too often, it made it more likely that an enemy would notice a pattern and try to intercept the letter. Querian had marvelous senses of direction and never got lost.