Cursed Magic

by Madeline Freeman

  His eyebrows draw together, and for a second I wonder if I’ve gone too far. But when he leans across his desk, his expression is more conspiratorial than pissed. “You know I know, right? About the other reality? I know she’s not the girl you dated. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

  I study his face, trying to determine whether it’s his turn to be an asshole. I decide it’s not exactly in his nature, but still, I can’t stand the idea of him thinking he’s won, that my time with her doesn’t count. “I know you know. But despite the fact that she’s different, there’s still so much of her that’s the same. I can still read her. I know her expressions better than I know my own.” I hesitate before pressing on. “Whether you like it or not, I still care about her.”

  Owen rubs the back of his neck—uncomfortable, but not angry. “I know that. And I get how things are screwed up. Believe it or not, I understand how hard this is for you.”

  I’m about to ask him how he can possibly know, but the answer comes to me on its own. Before Krissa and I started dating three years ago, she and Owen were pretty close to getting together. She broke his heart to prove her loyalty to Crystal and the circle. For the first time, I wonder how hard it was for Owen to watch her move on and be with me.

  “I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate that you’re still willing to be there for her even after everything that’s happened. Believe it or not, your friendship means a lot to Krissa. I’m glad she can count on you.”

  My mind spins with a thousand responses. Indignation bubbles in the pit of my stomach. I hate sitting here while he plays the dutiful boyfriend. He’s clueless. He has no idea what’s going on. I know more about Krissa than he ever will. I want to tell him that. I want to take him down a peg or two, but before I get the chance, a riot of laughter breaks out in the back of the classroom. The sub looks up for the first time in minutes, seemingly surprised to find there are still students in the room. He sets down his phone and stands long enough to call over the noise for everyone to return to their assigned seats or he’ll start sending people to the office.

  Despite the fact that his threat is very possibly idle, Owen stands and moves his desk back to its original position before returning to his assigned spot. I watch him as he opens his copy of the novel and starts working on the assignment. The anger from a moment ago dissipates, replaced by a twinge of guilt. He really has no idea. As much as I’ve wanted to hate him, he’s actually a pretty decent guy, and I can’t pretend that what Krissa and I are doing in secret won’t hurt him when it comes to light.

  I wish I knew why she’s so intent on keeping our relationship quiet. I get that she cares for him, but she can’t be with both of us—not in the long term. As much as the truth sucks, it’s necessary. And I know firsthand how much more a secret hurts the longer it’s kept.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Krissa

  I moan, pressing my hand to my stomach as Owen opens the door of the pizzeria. “Why did you guys let me eat that much?”

  “Let you?” Lexie scoffs as we spill onto the sidewalk. “I’ve tried to get between you and food before and nearly lost my hand. I’m not risking life and limb to convince you not to eat one more piece of pizza.”

  Owen slips his arm around my waist, and Felix links hands with Lexie as we start up Main Street toward Wide Awake Cafe. The four of us planned this date night earlier this week, but after the failure with the spell on Wednesday, Lexie suggested we cancel. I was the one who insisted we not break our plans. I need normal activities like this. Times like these, I can forget about the Influence and its hold on me. I can convince myself I have a regular life.

  Almost.

  “We still haven’t decided what game we’re playing,” Felix reminds us as we make our way toward the coffee shop. All through our meal, he pushed for Apples to Apples, but Lexie kept insisting the psychics would have an unfair advantage.

  “I’ve already given you my choice,” Lexie says.

  Felix tips his head back and groans as they pass the door to the bakery. “I’m so not in the mood for Jenga.”

  Lexie tugs his hand to keep him on pace with her. “You’re not in the mood to get your ass kicked, you mean.”

  A smile curves my lips as I listen to their banter. While the two of them are walking at a decent clip, Owen and I make no effort to keep up with them. The late spring sunshine beats down, warming me in a way I tend to forget is possible during the long winter months. With Owen’s arm around me, I’m able to pretend our lives are unencumbered by the events of the past fall and winter.

  The bakery door swings open in front of us and a customer rushes out, a cake box balanced in his hands. He doesn’t look where he’s going and nearly collides with Owen, who hastily helps steady the box in the guy’s hands before it has a chance to fall to the ground.

  “Sorry about that. Thanks, man.”

  I’m so distracted by all the action I don’t recognize the guy until he speaks. Owen must have realized who he was at the same moment because he stiffens as I smile in greeting.

  “Tucker! You’re buying a cake?” I stare at the box, trying to determine if it could be holding something else. Buying baked goods is pretty out of character for him. I look to his face for a clue, but all I find there is a harassed expression. “You okay?”

  Tucker blows out a breath, some of the tension draining from his shoulders as he does. “I’m fine. It’s my mom’s birthday and my stepdad was supposed to pick up the cake. I even checked with him earlier this week, and he promised to do it. But, here I am.” He shakes his head. “There’ll be hell to pay for the next year if that woman doesn’t get cake on her birthday.”

  Owen and I both laugh, but it’s the kind of perfunctory laughter that occurs when you’re not sure if something’s supposed to be funny or not. In all the time we spent together this winter, Tucker never really talked about his family. With as many hours as he put in at Griffin’s apartment, I always assumed his home life was less than ideal. I wonder if his stepfather is always unreliable, and exactly what kind of “hell” would be in store for Tucker if he didn’t bring her cake. Will his mom want them to spend time together? If so, I can’t imagine Tucker is looking forward to it.

  We haven’t spent nearly as much time together these last few weeks. Part of it is because of the Influence spell, and part of it because I’ve been spending most of my spare time with Owen—but that’s no excuse. It strikes me for the first time that I miss his company. “We’re heading down to the coffee shop for some board game madness. If your family stuff ends early enough, you should come join us,” I say as Felix and Lexie make their way back to us.

  After a beat, Felix smiles. “Yeah, man. I’d be happy to kick your ass at Jenga.”

  The corners of Tucker’s mouth twitch. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’ll wait until I’ve got a girlfriend to join in on your double dates.” Before I can object, he raises his chin. “I’ll catch you guys later.”

  Lexie’s eyes follow him until he’s out of earshot. When the four of us resume our course down the sidewalk, she speaks. “It’s weird. I thought for sure he’d be back together with Crystal by now. Weeks ago, she had some elaborate plan to make up for lost time—whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

  I bite my lower lip. Tucker told me about that night. He agreed to go out with Crystal mostly because she was so insistent, but when she floated the idea of getting back together, he turned her down. “He told me he wouldn’t—couldn’t—get back with her. Not now. Not after… everything that happened.” I don’t want to be thinking about the night of the Influence spell, so I shove the memories back down and force a smile. “He says being with her now would kind of feel like dating me, and he couldn’t handle that.”

  Despite my efforts, red begins to creep into the corners of my vision. Flashes of that night play out in my mind’s eye. He won’t date Crystal because she has my magic. There’s a piece of me inside her—one that doesn’t belong, that she doesn’t d
eserve.

  It’s only when Owen steps in front of me that I realize I’ve stopped walking. He searches my face as Lexie and Felix continue down the street. “He won’t date Crystal because she has your magic?”

  I blink, but it doesn’t clear away all the red. “Yeah—kind of silly, I know.”

  He shakes his head. “No, it’s not. He’s a pretty loyal friend, isn’t he?” I nod, and Owen smiles. “I promise I’ll try harder to like him.”

  He leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. He means it to be short and sweet, but when he tries to end it, I don’t let him go. I lace my fingers behind his neck and pull him back to me. I’m rewarded with a crushing kiss that takes my breath away. His arms snake around my back and hold my body flush against his.

  A catcall from a passerby makes Owen finally pull away. When I open my eyes, all traces of the red smoke are gone. I love the way Owen does that. I can’t imagine how I would be getting through all this without him.

  As we continue toward the cafe, I glance up and down Main Street to see if I can determine who disturbed us. But what catches my eye isn’t a catcaller—it’s a familiar form that makes the red rush back in to cloud my vision.

  Brody.

  He lurks in an alley between the pharmacy and the boutique owned by Lexie’s mom. The Influence crackles just beneath my skin, but as it surges, I realize it’s not aimed at Brody. I don’t want to hurt him—I want to hurt someone else, anyone else, to prove myself to him.

  I want him to see how capable I would be in the role of assassin.

  A small voice in the back of my head reminds me that’s not who I am. My vision is already reduced nearly to pinpricks, and I’m afraid what will happen when it goes entirely red. Before it can, I tug on Owen’s arm and pull him back to me. I’m barely able to see the surprise in his eyes before I cover his mouth with mine. Even more so than moments ago, I need this—I need him. I need to be reminded of who I am and what’s really important.

  For a moment, Owen hesitates, but any reluctance soon fades and he’s kissing me more fervently than before. I barely notice I’m moving until my back presses against the cool glass of whatever store we’re standing in front of. I weave my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and do everything I can to live in this moment, in this kiss.

  “Hey, why don’t you two get a room?” Felix calls.

  After another moment, Owen pulls away, the look in his eyes making it clear he’d like little more than to take Felix’s advice. In this moment, I wouldn’t say no. Without Owen, I’m afraid I’d lose myself to the Influence and not be able to find my way back.

  His eyes stay locked on mine for another beat, long enough for me to understand he’d be happy to pick up where we left off at a later time. Then he slips his hand into mine and tugs me toward our friends.

  As we go, it takes every bit of my concentration to keep from glancing in Brody’s direction.

  But I won’t give in. I won’t be his assassin.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Fox

  There are still two weeks of school left before finals, and I’m already checked out.

  Faking my way through a discussion about themes and character motivations in English left me mentally drained. I make my way to my locker to drop off the novel and notebook so I don’t have to bring them down to the lunchroom. This should be my favorite time of the school day—time to relax and not have to think about things. But it’s not. Dana has a hard time sitting in silence. She always has to be talking, and if I’m not responding, she insists I tell her what’s wrong. She won’t believe me if I tell her there’s nothing.

  I usually meet her at her locker before walking down to the cafeteria, but I can’t bring myself to do it today. When she finally makes her way to our table, she’ll probably bitch at me, but those first five minutes of silence might be worth it.

  Instead of heading toward the common stairs that would take me past Dana’s locker and to the lunchroom quickly, I head for a seldom-used flight at the opposite end of the building. If I’m going to take a walk alone, I might as well make the most of it.

  I’m halfway down to the first floor when someone calls my name. I curse under my breath, but it’s only Crystal. The fact that she’s sought me out piques my curiosity, and I slow down to wait for her. “What’s up?”

  She twists her fingers together nervously—something I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her do before. “I want to talk to you about something. It’s been on my mind for a while now, and I’ve been considering who the best person to tell would be.”

  It’s been a while since I talked with Crystal. The last time we were even in a room together was at Krissa’s house the other night. She looks different from the girl I’ve come to know over the years—she wears less makeup, and her posture isn’t as self-assured as it used to be. She used to be flanked by Bridget, Lexie, and Krissa at all times, but the three of them have split away from her. For the first time, I wonder what’s going on in her life. I’ve been so caught up in my own, it’s never crossed my mind to ask. What kind of a shitty friend does that make me? Or does our natural distance simply point to how flimsy our friendship was to begin with? “Don’t leave me in suspense.”

  She presses her lips together and exhales through her nose. “I’m worried about Krissa.”

  “Newsflash,” I mutter, continuing down the stairs. “Who isn’t?”

  She keeps pace with me. “No, that’s not what I mean. Well, maybe it is.”

  I try to stay nonchalant, but the back of my neck begins to prickle. I’m not sure where she’s going with this. I hold my breath until she continues.

  “Has she seemed off to you?”

  I consider her question. My first instinct is to tell her no. Krissa finally seems like herself—like the girl she’s supposed to be in this reality. The two of us fit together like we haven’t in months. But I can’t tell her that. Crystal has no idea how much time I’ve been spending with Krissa, and I’m not about to let on. “Off how?”

  We’re on the first floor now, in the foyer outside the main office. It’s not a spot where many students linger, but we stop. She leans against the wall and scans the vicinity to make sure we’re not going to be overheard. Her caution is unnecessary—there’s no one here. “Sometimes she kind of stares off into space and gets these looks like… I don’t know how to describe it.”

  I could think of a hundred reasons why Krissa might get distracted or daydream, but obviously Crystal thinks this is more than that. “Well, she’s got a lot going on right now. It’s not surprising if she zones out sometimes. Have you talked to her about it?”

  Crystal’s eyes narrow like she’s trying to remember something, but then a soft shiver overtakes her and her face goes blank for an instant. “I get the feeling she doesn’t want to talk to me about it.”

  I study her, trying to figure out how such a simple question elicited such an odd reaction. “Why? I mean, besides the fact she doesn’t seem to want to talk to anyone about, you know, not being a hundred percent.”

  She presses her lips together. “I don’t know. I just… I guess I can’t blame her if she doesn’t want to talk Influence with me—not after what went down.”

  Now I’m the one who feels embarrassed. Any time I think about the day we did the Influence spell, I can’t help looking at it from Krissa’s point of view. She lost all her natural abilities that day only to be filled with the darkness that made her kill a man right in front of us. It’s easy to disregard how the events of that day must make Crystal feel, because she got what she wanted—the ability to wield magic again. Is it possible Crystal is feeling guilty because of what happened? Does she blame herself for what happened to Krissa? “You’re her friend. She cares about you—otherwise, she wouldn’t have done what she did. It might do her good if you show her how much you care about her.”

  Crystal sighs. “Maybe you’re right.” She pushes off the wall and starts down the hall again. I follow, but we’ve made i
t no more than a dozen paces before a familiar clip-clop sound meets my ears. I fight the urge to curse again.

  “Fox! There you are. When you didn’t show up at my locker, I checked the lunchroom, but you weren’t there either. I got worried.”

  Irritation flares in my abdomen, sending pinpricks of heat down my arms. She got worried about me? What the hell did she imagine was going to happen to me at school? It’s not like there are trained assassins walking around here or something. “Crystal wanted to talk,” I say shortly.

  Dana’s eyes go round. “Oh? What about?”

  I glance at Crystal. I’m not sure if she wants to share her concern with anyone but me.

  When neither of us responds, Dana crosses her arms over her chest. “Krissa. Of course.”

  “What do you mean, of course?” I ask, my voice sharper than I intend.

  Dana’s arms drop and she takes a half step back. “I just mean it’s like we can’t go five minutes without her coming up somehow. She’s everyone’s favorite topic of conversation.”

  “That’s not fair,” I say, annoyed by her obvious jealousy, even though it doesn’t surprise me. “We’re trying to help her. You should know why better than anyone.”

  Dana shifts in her high-heeled shoes, looking uncomfortable, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. “We should get moving. The hall monitor likes to sweep this area once the lunch bell rings. I saw her earlier today, and she’s in a bad mood. I bet she’s looking for any excuse to give someone detention.”

  Crystal bites her lower lip. “Thanks for the heads-up. I so don’t need a detention right now.” She casts an apologetic glance in my direction before heading back the way we came. I’m not sure whether she needs to hit her locker before going to lunch or if she just doesn’t want to be involved in whatever drama is about to happen. I almost wish I could follow her.