“I can’t have her here,” I murmur.
Bria’s face scrunches. “But wouldn’t it help if—”
Red begins to encroach on my vision and I squeeze my eyes closed in an attempt to drive it back. “I know how strong her magic is,” I say through clenched teeth. “It’s my magic. I don’t know if you realize how much it kills me to know that. She gets to walk around like nothing happened. She’s got access to more power than she had to begin with. She can go on with her life, completely unaffected, while I have to endure spell after spell to try to rid myself of this… this evil.”
A hand rests on my knee and gives a gentle squeeze. I’m able to take in a deep breath for the first time in what feels like minutes. When I open my eyes, the red is gone. I cover Griffin’s hand with mine and offer a small smile. Although he’s pale, he returns it. When I survey the room, I detect similar anxious looks on all my friends’ faces and a wave of guilt swells in me. They don’t deserve my anger. They’ve done nothing but try to help me. I don’t want to scare them.
Before I can think of something to say to apologize for my outburst, my phone vibrates. I pull it out and smile when I see who it’s from. “Besides,” I say, standing and starting for the front door, “I did invite another witch.”
I swing open the door to reveal Sasha, who stands, studying her nail beds as if I’ve taken forever to answer.
There’s a scuffling of feet as she crosses the threshold. When I turn, everyone is standing.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Griffin growls. His face is a mask of fury, and I know I’m the reason.
“Down, boy,” she responds easily, striding confidently forward as if nothing is amiss. “Don’t worry—I come in peace.”
Lexie turns to me with wide eyes. “Why did you invite her? It’s her fault you’re like this in the first place.”
I understand my friends’ confusion. It’s hard to explain why I don’t hold it against her. Yes, Sasha was the one who presented the Influence spell to Crystal. She’s since admitted she did it in the hope Crystal would cast it and leave me to deal with the aftermath. She wanted to make my friend suffer so I would suffer. But something changed in her that night when Elliot found out what she was planning. She realized she’d gone too far. “She’s trying to make up for that now,” I say simply.
Felix crosses his arms over his chest. “How do we know whatever she’s suggesting won’t be as bad or worse than the Influence? We can’t trust her.”
At his accusation, Sasha flusters. Her nonchalant posture disappears, replaced by a straight-backed stance that makes even her small frame seem tall. “Because this time I don’t have any secret agenda. Yes, when I told Crystal about the Influence spell I didn’t tell her what it really was. But Krissa is fully aware of all the worst-case scenarios that go along with this spell.” She takes another step forward, imitating Felix’s pose. “Besides, in case you forgot, I’m the one who found the spell that’s kept Krissa in control for this long.” She reaches for my hand and holds it up so everyone can see my ring.
Tucker’s expression clouds and he opens his mouth to shoot off another accusation, but I talk over him. “Look, everyone. I need your trust, and if you can trust me, you can trust Sasha.” I sigh. I don’t want to admit what I’m about to say, but my friends deserve to know. “I’m not okay. I know I keep saying I am, but I’m lying. I don’t want anyone to worry about me…. You know, more than you already are. But since you guys stopped my heart the other night, it’s like I can’t ignore it anymore. It’s always there, always one breath away from lashing out and hurting someone. I’m using every bit of energy and self-control to keep it in check, but I don’t know how much longer I can do that.” I reach for Sasha’s hand and squeeze it. Her eyes widen in surprise, but she doesn’t pull away. “I vouch for Sasha. I trust her. And she and I are going through with this spell whether you all help or not.”
Griffin is the first to speak. “I’ll help.”
“Me, too,” Felix says quickly.
One by one, the others agree. I turn to Sasha and smile. She offers a curt nod in return, and once she’s released my hands, she surreptitiously wipes beneath her eyes before crossing to the table to snag a chair for herself.
We all settle into our seats and I turn to Sasha, encouraging her with my eyes to explain the spell.
“I understand you’ve tried some things lately to get the Influence out of Krissa. You tried exorcising it. You tried killing her so it would leave.” She shakes her head at the last one, and for the first time, I wonder how she would have reacted if I hadn’t come back from that spell. “Now, I’m not saying there isn’t a way to get the Influence out for good, but I haven’t been able to find anything yet. So, in the short term, I suggest we separate the Influence from Krissa’s consciousness. It’ll still be inside her, but it’ll be buried down deep.”
“Like a split personality?” Bria asks. When Felix raises an eyebrow, she holds up her hands innocently. “We were talking about dissociative identity disorder in psychology a couple weeks ago.”
Felix snorts, but Sasha is nodding. “Yeah. The spell can bury a bad personality flaw or a trauma until the person is ready to deal with it. It kind of builds a wall between the dominant personality and whatever they want to separate from themselves.”
Lexie’s face scrunches in the same way it does when she’s trying to work out a particularly complex math equation. “This sounds pretty good, actually. But it can’t be that easy. What are the dangers?”
Sasha presses her lips together and glances at me.
“I might not be strong enough,” I say. “There’s a very real possibility the Influence won’t be the consciousness that gets locked away. In which case I turn into a remorseless killing machine.” I force a smile, but no one returns it.
“We won’t let that happen,” Tucker says matter-of-factly. He nods toward Felix and Bria. “We can guide you while the witches do the spell. We can make sure you’re the one who stays on the surface.” But when he glances at me, he can’t quite mask the fear in his eyes. “I mean, that’s possible, right?”
I’ve done similar things before—guiding people’s consciousness to the surface after spells left them knocked out. “Yeah, it’s possible,” I agree, even though I’m not confident things will work the same in this situation.
But my assurance is all anyone seems to need. Griffin asks Sasha to go over the spell, and she explains it. My mind begins to whir. I’m more scared about doing this spell than I was the other night when they stopped my heart. If they hadn’t been able to get my blood pumping again, at least I would’ve taken the Influence with me. But if this spell doesn’t go as planned, the darkness within me won’t be restricted anymore, and there’s no telling what might happen then.
Instead of making me lie on the floor, Sasha directs me to recline on the couch. My heart hammers in my chest and blood rushes in my ears. I don’t want to go through with this, but I have to.
Bria kneels beside me and takes my hand. “I’ll be right here,” she murmurs.
I’m thankful for her presence, though part of me wants to tell her to back away in case the spell goes wrong. But I can’t go into this thinking negatively, so I squeeze her hand. She returns the pressure. I have to believe this will work, that I’ll be the one who comes out in control.
When the spell begins, I feel nothing out of the ordinary. Even the Influence remains at a steady level as it sizzles beneath the surface of my skin. I’m not sure how aware the energy is, but at the very least, it doesn’t appear to sense any danger. I concentrate on my breathing exercises. Breathe in. Hold. Breathe out.
Slowly, my brain begins to cloud over. I lose count, but my breathing stays even. I’m no longer afraid. No thoughts spin through my mind. I simply am.
By degrees, I realize I’m not alone. There’s another presence nearby, but I can’t see it. There is only white. It would be nice to stay here. There’s no crackling or burning sensations, no guilt, no fear.
Then my downward progress stops abruptly, shaking a measure of the sleepy sensation away. There are tugs at my consciousness. Ideas that are not my own attempt to penetrate my mind. Don’t sleep. You have to stay awake. You have to stay with us.
Despite the urgency of the thoughts, I don’t want to do what they say. I’m tired, so very tired. I’ve been working so hard to be normal these last few weeks—all I want to do is go somewhere to rest. Why can’t they understand that? I’ll rest, and when I wake up, everything will be normal.
When I wake up… But… I won’t wake up. This isn’t normal sleep. If I disappear now, who knows when I’ll return. If I’ll return.
The tugs on my consciousness grow stronger and I stop fighting them. They’re right. I can’t sleep—not here, not now. I need to fight now, just one more time.
The cloudiness evaporates from my mind like fog disappearing in the light of day. I’m aware of my body, of the rough fabric of Griffin’s couch.
Griffin. I’m in his apartment with some of my closest friends. They’re here to help me.
I open my eyes, only to close them again immediately against the harsh lamplight coming from near my feet. Was the lamp on earlier? I thought it was brighter when we began the spell, but a glance out the window reveals the fading light of late evening.
I sit up and my head spins. I press my hands into the couch cushions to keep from tipping over. “What’s happening? How long was I out?”
Lexie and Bria, who sit on the floor in front of the couch, let out identical sighs of relief. Felix sits down beside me and pulls me into a tight hug. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again, you hear?”
I return his embrace as best I can, but I don’t understand what’s happening. I glance around the room until I lock eyes with Tucker, whose typically disheveled hair is mussed to a whole new level, like he’s been running his hands through it nervously for hours. My stomach clenches when I realize it’s entirely possibly he has been. “We almost lost you,” he says, his voice tight.
“It is you, right?” Griffin asks. His eyes slide to Tucker, who nods.
“Was there some doubt?” I attempt to smile, but there’s no merriment in anyone’s eyes, only cautious relief.
Sasha sits on my other side. I only realize Felix is still hugging me when she gently removes his arms from around me. “It’s been hours since we started the spell. I had to text your dad because he sent a couple texts, asking when you’d be home.” Alarm bells go off in my head, but before I can voice my concern, she’s talking again. “I pretended to be you. Said you were at Bria’s house studying for finals with some friends.”
Bria hefts herself off the floor and settles on the coffee table. “The spell went pretty smoothly, from what the witches say,” she explains. “But when it was over, there was no one in your head.” She shrugs. “I’m not really sure how to explain it. It’s like your body couldn’t figure out who should be in control.”
Felix takes my hand and squeezes it. “Your consciousness wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t… active.”
“And then we started to lose you,” Tucker says, settling down on a dining room chair. “You got fainter and fainter, like you were giving up.”
I swallow. I’m trying to remember any of this happening, but my recollections are nebulous. “Thanks for not letting me.”
“Now, for the real question,” Sasha says, scrutinizing my face. “Did it work?”
At first, I think she’s joking. Obviously it worked because I’m the one talking right now, not the Influence. But then it strikes me what she’s really asking. For the first time since coming to, I take stock of my body, of the sensations coursing through it.
There is no thrum of electricity, no crackle of energy, no rising heat.
“I don’t feel it.” A laugh bubbles up from my stomach. “I don’t feel the Influence at all.”
After a beat, the room erupts into cheers. Felix hugs me again. Griffin offers beer to any interested parties. Lexie and Bria begin chattering at the same time about how excited they are.
All I can do is smile as I take it all in. Like Sasha said, this isn’t a permanent solution, but it might just buy me enough time until we can figure one out.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Brody
I’m sitting in my car on a street perpendicular to Main. It’s been days since my last conversation with Jade, and my stomach has been in knots since then. I have a plan, but I won’t be satisfied until it’s set in motion—until I can watch things begin to fall into place.
I will not lose out on my destiny because of Krissa Barnette. I have worked hard for decades to finally be in the position to take over as leader of the Amaranthine, and I refuse to let anything get in the way. If Krissa’s reluctance to join me is tied to her misguided dream of having a happily-ever-after, that won’t be an obstacle for long.
The passenger door opens and a boy with thick blond hair and deep-set eyes slides into the seat. West Harmon. His eyes are glazed, and a smile curves my lips. Good. Exactly as I anticipated. When I drew the summoning circle the vehicle now sits upon, I added in a few runes to cause confusion and compliance.
It was more difficult than I expected coming up with the three items to draw him here. It would have been much easier if it were Owen Marsh or Fox Holloway I needed to summon, but of course, that simply wouldn’t do.
I hand a folded piece of paper to West. “Read it.”
He opens it and stares, slightly slack-jawed, until he’s absorbed the words. When he’s finished, he shoves the paper back at me.
“Do you understand what you’re supposed to do?”
He nods mutely. Without waiting for further instructions, he opens the car door and steps out into the Sunday afternoon sunshine, joining the dozens of people milling about—walking dogs, window shopping, enjoying the weather. I watch him until he disappears around the corner.
I could simply sit here, confident in the fact that West will do as instructed, but the temptation to watch the first domino fall is too strong. I cast a glamor before stepping out of the car, and a heavy, balding forty-year-old man follows West into the Wide Awake Cafe, not me. Besides my target, I doubt anyone else in here would recognize me, but it’s always better to be safe. By the time I slide into a chair at a table near the one Owen occupies, West is already sitting across from him. I modify my glamor to make it look as if I’m holding a mystery novel and tune my attention to the conversation about to take place.
Owen’s brow is pulled together with concern. “Dude, you okay? You seem a little… upset.”
West rubs the back of his neck and shifts in his seat. I had no doubt my spell would hold, but I can’t help smiling. It’s always good to witness something play out exactly as I envisioned it. “I have to tell you something, and you’re not going to like it. I’ve been wrestling with this for days. I don’t want to say anything because it’s not really my place, but you’re my friend.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “It’s about Krissa.”
“Is she okay?” Owen moves like he’s about to stand and run. A knight in shining armor. I can guarantee he won’t feel that way for long.
All evidence to the contrary, I’m actually a fan of true love. It’s a pity I have to be instrumental in its demise, but it’s for the greater good. The future of the Amaranthine is more important than the lives of a handful of teenagers.
“She’s fine,” West says.
Owen settles back down, his posture more relaxed. “I think I know what this is about. She’s been different for the last few days, and I have a feeling it’s because she did some kind of spell—something to do with the Influence. Something not sanctioned by Jodi. She hasn’t mentioned anything about it to me, but I
can tell she’s doing better than she was. Were you there? Do you know what she did? Whatever it is, I’m not mad. It seems to be helping. She seems to be back to her old self.”
West shakes his head. “I wish it were something that simple.” There’s a halting hesitation in his tone that makes Owen sit at attention. “I’m sorry—this is kind of hard to say. I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to tell you, but no matter what, it’s going to suck. I guess I’m just gonna have to do it—like ripping off a bandage.”
Owen’s eyes narrow in confusion. “You’re not making any sense.”
“She’s cheating on you, man,” West says over Owen’s words.
Owen stills as he processes the words. He tilts his head. After a beat, he cracks a smile. “You know, you actually had me going for a second.” His expression turns dark, serious. “It’s not funny, West.”
“No, it’s not,” West agrees. “I wish I were joking. I was coming out of the bookstore a few days ago and I saw her talking with Fox. At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I mean, they’re friends, right? But then I overheard what they were saying. Fox was going on about how he didn’t want to keep their relationship a secret anymore and how it was time for her to break up with you. Then she was saying how she had her reasons for keeping things from you.” He presses his lips together. “I hate to be the one to tell you, but you deserve to know.”
Owen shoves the palms of his hands against the edge of the table and shakes his head, as if doing so could dislodge the words he’s hearing. “No. No, you’re lying. I don’t know why, but you are. There’s no way. There’s no way she’d do that to me.”
“I wish it was a lie, man, but it’s not. I just… I figured you should know.”
Owen bangs a fist on the tabletop before standing and stalking out of the coffee shop. West remains immobile for several seconds before blinking heavily and shaking his head. He looks around with obvious uncertainty. He has no memory of arriving here. I murmur an incantation for a confusion charm—one just strong enough to get him back to doing whatever he was engaged in before the summoning spell brought him to me. He stands and slowly wanders toward the door.
Cursed Magic Page 14